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Thread: "The Ched Chunkhead Opens His Insufferable Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" Thread

  1. #1001
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    Quote Originally Posted by guwapo_rocker View Post
    I have never heard them on the radio, never.
    Same here......

    a non-factor......Chickenshit is warmed over van haggis.....the 2004 FLEECE THE SHEEP tour proved there isnt much of a market for that shit
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  2. #1002
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matt White View Post
    Same here......

    a non-factor......Chickenshit is warmed over van haggis.....the 2004 FLEECE THE SHEEP tour proved there isnt much of a market for that shit
    he Matt, do we have a BIG birthday this year, or what???
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  3. #1003
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    Quote Originally Posted by DavidLeeNatra View Post
    he Matt, do we have a BIG birthday this year, or what???
    LMFAO I hear that Brother!

    If only ADKOT had been released on the 29th!!!


    WHOO-HOO!!! Feb 2012!! THE RETURN OF THE MIGHTY VAN HALEN!!!

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  5. #1004
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    Um, Bette ??

    Chad Smith @RHCPchad
    Alex Van Halen playin his ass off on their new record!
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  7. #1005
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    In the new Classic Rock magazine (UK), Sham says the new album had better not disappoint "for the sake of OUR legacy".
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  8. #1006
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    Quote Originally Posted by Va Beach VH Fan View Post
    Um, Bette ??

    Chad Smith @RHCPchad
    Alex Van Halen playin his ass off on their new record!
    Just saw that myself!

    BTW, even the HAGAR friendly station in Akron is doing a "Different kind of truth" give-a-way weekend, and even played "She's the woman"

    it's over spam.
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  9. #1007
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chong Li View Post
    In the new Classic Rock magazine (UK), Sham says the new album had better not disappoint "for the sake of OUR legacy".
    Is he frickin Bipolar ? Does he make this shit up as he goes ?

    Last month, Van Halen cant get their shit together for a new album,
    last week, "The new material is dissapointing"
    This week "They better maintain OUR legacy"

    Not your legacy Hagar. STFU.

    What did "Up for Breakfast do for "your legacy"
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  11. #1008
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    He's meaning the legacy of writing shitty ballads and turning the best rock band of all time into a shitty pop band?

    I wonder how he sleeps at night?

  12. #1009
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    ya' Sammy, your legacy of how you fucked up one of the greatest rock bands of all time...they better not only not disappoint but better do exceedingly well inorder to fix the damage your legacy tainted
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  13. #1010
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chong Li View Post
    In the new Classic Rock magazine (UK), Sham says the new album had better not disappoint "for the sake of OUR legacy".

    God damn motherfuck!


    The guy is seriously making it extremely difficult to even like the few tunes I did like that he did with them. Wow....what a fucking clueless asshole. I swear I don't remember him being this way his entire career. Just the last 15 years and it's steadily getting worse & worse.
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  14. #1011
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    Quote Originally Posted by Va Beach VH Fan View Post
    Um, Bette ??

    Chad Smith @RHCPchad
    Alex Van Halen playin his ass off on their new record!
    I don't think Chad really wants to stay in Chickenshit long term anyway. This might make it easier for him to get out..

    Now if only Kenny Aronoff would go back to Mellencamp's band where he belongs.......
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  15. #1012
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    God damn motherfuck!


    The guy is seriously making it extremely difficult to even like the few tunes I did like that he did with them. Wow....what a fucking clueless asshole. I swear I don't remember him being this way his entire career. Just the last 15 years and it's steadily getting worse & worse.
    Sam's pushing 70 now. It's probably early dementia.

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  17. #1013
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    In a feeble attempt on Chickenfoot's facebook, some disillusioned sole Hagritte fan thought he would keep the home fires burning by pouring more lighter fuel on Sammy's bonfire....dude needs to learn that mentioning Van Halen now just makes Sammy's career worse

    Colton Fair
    After listening to both i can officially say that Chickenfoot III is way better A Different Kind of Truth. Chickenfoot Wins
    1 day ago · ·
    1 person likes this
    Paul Floyd
    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You are about the ONLY one with THAT opinion!!

    23 hours ago
    Eric Wojciechowski
    lol chickenfoot has won nothing.. Van Halen about to hit number one with this album on billboard

    22 hours ago
    Andre Chasseraux
    Chickenfoot is a project. Van halen has a long and successful career. There is no comparison. If not for the Van Halen, Chickenfoot would no longer exist.

    19 hours ago
    Tim Peterson
    ADKOT is an unbelievable CD ... it just blows me away! It is going to be one of the best CDs to come out in years! Chickenfoot isn't even close, not even the same area code ... Stay Frosty!!!! )

    15 hours ago
    Paul Floyd
    You will NEVER see Chickenfoot vying for number one on Billboard. A boring side project at best. VAN HALEN IS BACK!!!

    6 hours ago
    Del 'Deuceman' Fabriz
    ...Sammy who?

    6

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  19. #1014
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  21. #1015
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    PHBBBT? Is that a fart? That's friggin' funny!
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  22. #1016
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    A fart or a lyric, hard to tell.

  23. #1017
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThrillsNSpills View Post
    Fuck'n Classic, Thanks Bro
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  24. #1018
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    That pic would be sig worthy if it didnt have Sammy in it...fuck..
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  25. #1019
    If ya can't beat 'em...
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    What's that Chickenpoop song "Different Devil" about anyway?
    Sounds like Spam is saying if his girlfriend/wife goes and fucks around on him, he'll be right there waiting to lick the cum from her taint when she wanders back in at 3am ?

    Goddamn shit lyrics like that and he thinks he's a great songwriter ? And then complain that Ed [paraphrasing here] "just had too many ideas" ? Just phony-ing it in as usual.
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  26. #1020
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    to look for sense and depth in sam's lyrics is like looking for love in a whorehouse...

  27. #1021
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingedward View Post
    Fuck'n Classic, Thanks Bro
    Trust me, it's my pleasure.
    But I guess the punchline behind the punchline is that these pictures were from the Chickenfoot Facebook page, that people keep posting on the page, along with comments of constructive criticism to Hagar about shutting up about the VH disc because it's incredible.

  28. #1022
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    I have not read every post in this 26 page manifesto but I think what we are missing is the understanding of why hagar (I refuse to capitalize his name on purpose) does not like the Great new VH record. He feels that it lacks inspiration (or whatever the fuck he said) because what inspires hagar produces mediocrity in spades. There's no way he could ever understand what this album is about. For him to approve of ADKOT it would have to sound faceless and forgettable. Essentially like EVERYTHING he's ever done in his entire career.
    Well this record ain't mediocre at all. If fact I consider this album to be the Anti hagar Record whether is was meant to be or not. The fact that hagar hates this record is rock solid Proof that VH has done something right in a big way. I'll bet every member of chicken foot like this record and that must upset shit head sam greatly. I'm sure Mikey likes it.
    I'm not gushing over this album because it's VH. I'm typing this because it's a LEGITAMATE VAN HALEN RECORD FULL OF TOP SHITE MATERIAL. Christ, I'm fucking proud of Van Halen for making it and I'm completely satisfied to see the door closed on the hagar/Van Halen connection for once and for all.
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  29. #1023
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    Is Sammy insecure? Bottom line Sam, you were an employee; Dave is family

    After reading his book, this is what I have concluded. First off, I hated that any success he has had, he feels was all because of him. Any failures were someone else's fault. I despise the fact that he came off like he rescued VH, and that he was every bit as big as them when they merged. Does he think we all have bad memories? Sam was an opening act, plain and simple. VH was historic. And he tried to make it sound like Dave was broke and destitute, and that Sam saved him by offering the Sam and Dave tour. Personally, I have communicated with his sister 4 times, discussing real estate. I tried to keep it mostly professional, but she did mention that Dave was smart enough to invest in real estate a long time ago, and still does. He purchases in the name of a trust for legal protection. I hardly think he was broke. His mansion in CA is paid off, and he paid cash for a NYC apartment. Those aren't cheap.

    Also, as a VH fan who accepted Sam into OUR family, I don't like him trying to ruin my image of Dave. "Here he walks in, this tall rock God, and then I notice he's wearing 8 inch heels, and here I am just in flip flops. I was disappointed. I really thought he was taller". Dude, Dave is every bit of 6' tall, boots or no boots. You are about 5' 7. Sam sounds like he has a Napolean complex. Only short guys who are insecure about their height would make a point to check out a guy's shoes, and then try to bring him down to their size. I am 5'9 by the way, and 100% secure with what look like. Sam on the other hand really needs to stop trying to put people down, and instead, just be who he is.
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  31. #1024
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    I've posted before how I can't recommend enough reading (get it from a library or spend some time in a book store) Sam's book. He is soooo full of shit and himself (coincidence, I think not) that it's quite an entertaining read. Delusional. Totally fucking delusional. He makes himself out to be the messiah of rock and roll, especially around '91 when he was supposedly banging 5 chicks at once under the stage during his boss's guitar solo. Ass clown.

  32. #1025
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    Sammy is insecure about his height and his tiny dick as well

  33. #1026
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    I am currently reading Dave's book for like the sixth or seventh time (I've lost count) because I feel like I learn something new every time I pick it up - about Dave and about myself.

    I wonder what I'd learn - if I'd find a single redeeming quality - if I actually read Sammy's ghost written memoir. I can't imagine it benefiting me in any positive way. That's the thing about negativity. Funny how that works. Keep meaning to give it a go - but I'd have to be pretty hard up for reading material. Any Maxim or Playboy will be more culturally relevant and spiritually enlightening than Ched's tome.
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  34. #1027
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    Quote Originally Posted by DLR Bridge View Post
    Delusional. Totally fucking delusional. He makes himself out to be the messiah of rock and roll, especially around '91 when he was supposedly banging 5 chicks at once under the stage during his boss's guitar solo. Ass clown.
    I just picture a scene [if it's even true] of an uncomfortable and sad bunch of either confused young women or some nasty skags having the man-pig sweating and snorting on them making rutting noises for what seemed like the longest 2 minutes of their lives and feeling dirty and hating themselves for it afterwards.


    Whereas when Dave wrote about having multiple women in his hotel and dressing rooms, I picture scenes reminiscent of a well produced porno where everyone is having a good time and they actually wanted to be there because of Dave and not just to 'fuck any rocker' and wrote about it in their diaries and still cherish the moment to this day.

    :happy64:
    Last edited by BenJammin; 02-15-2012 at 02:17 PM.

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  36. #1028
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    Assume Sammy had the music for ADKOT/Warning Extreme Sarcasm

    Dave always said Sammy "committed lyrical felonies"

    Here's how this would go:

    Sammy: There is no ballad material here. Ed these songs are too fast, can we do 3 instrumentals?

    Ed: No fucking way; just take your most "butchered" song, "Up for Breakfast" as inspiration!

    Sam: You're right, it's all about sex, food and tequila. By the way sorry about my book!

    Ed: Just write you uninspired prick!

    Track Listing:

    1) Tofu, Tofu!
    2) She's the Womb, Man!
    3) You and Your Blueberries, melons and grapefruit
    4) Chinese Food Town (Chickenfeet Soup)
    5) Blood and the FirePitBBQ
    6) Jimmy Buffethead
    7) Gas Is (called farting!)
    8) HoneyBunSweetieDonut
    9) The Trouble with Gnocchi ("When was the last time you had dumplings for the first time!")
    10) Outta Spice (Cake)
    11) Stay Frosting (Poundcake reprised)
    12) Big Ravioli
    13) Beats Wankin"
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  38. #1029
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    Merging with other Spam-related crap...

  39. #1030
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    If Spambot had a shred of class, credibility, integrity, or was a real MAN, he'd issue a retraction and apology statement for the pre-release slagging he did on ADKOT. If he still maintains they have "no spark, no creativity" then he's in complete f*cking denial (oh wait, he IS). But since he's a delusional mangina I wouldn't recommend anyone hold their breath waiting for him to do the right thing.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jhale667 View Post
    If Spambot had a shred of class, credibility, integrity, or was a real MAN, he'd issue a retraction and apology statement for the pre-release slagging he did on ADKOT. If he still maintains they have "no spark, no creativity" then he's in complete f*cking denial (oh wait, he IS). But since he's a delusional mangina I wouldn't recommend anyone hold their breath waiting for him to do the right thing.
    Dunno why this never occurred to me before, but given the proper perspective, Sammy Hagar appears to be the ultimate Van Halen troll.


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  41. #1032
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    Funny as hell!!!!
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    Thanks to the 4 people who enjoyed post #1028.

    It took me all night to think of that.

    Cheers

    Nigel

  43. #1034
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nigel View Post
    1) Tofu, Tofu!
    2) She's the Womb, Man!
    3) You and Your Blueberries, melons and grapefruit
    4) Chinese Food Town (Chickenfeet Soup)
    5) Blood and the FirePitBBQ
    6) Jimmy Buffethead
    7) Gas Is (called farting!)
    8) HoneyBunSweetieDonut
    9) The Trouble with Gnocchi ("When was the last time you had dumplings for the first time!")
    10) Outta Spice (Cake)
    11) Stay Frosting (Poundcake reprised)
    12) Big Ravioli
    13) Beats Wankin"
    That's pretty funny
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nigel View Post
    Thanks to the 4 people who enjoyed post #1028.

    It took me all night to think of that.

    Cheers

    Nigel
    Yes, pretty creative, thank you.

    Also along with the food related issues, have you noticed that when Ched tries to get a little bit raunchy in his lyrics (like he's trying to capture something from the CVH era) it just comes across as crass, boorish, and lewd?

    Unlike Dave who could write plenty of sexual innuendo into his lyrics, yet have it came across with a not-so-serious fun vibe with a wink in his eye? Just another example of how they are worlds apart in class and songwriting abilities.
    Last edited by BenJammin; 02-17-2012 at 11:29 AM.

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    NEWS FLASH NEWS FLASH NEWS FLASH!!!...this is some really important shit going down WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
    Sammy's latest post on his wall....
    "News flash! I'm in Vegas to celebrate Sammy's Beach Bar Rum being in the Cabo in Vegas! Check it out... Wooo!"

    nah, Spammy...NEWS FLASH, the MIGHTY VAN HALEN IS KICKING OFF THEIR TOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and we need no fake ass 'wooo' to convince ourselves that this is going to be epic

  47. #1037
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    More like it.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Jetstream View Post
    Sammy's latest post on his wall....
    "News flash! I'm in Vegas drinking my depressed ass silly, with a tranny hooker named Damien in a love tub suite at the Imperial Palace.
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  49. #1038
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    Eat it and choke Spambo! Current as we speak trending on Yahoo:

    TRENDING NOW
    01 Van Halen
    02 Sanaa Lathan
    03 Kristin Kreuk
    04 Charlie Sheen
    05 Retirement
    06 Bobby Brown
    07 Chelsea Handler
    08 Autism spectrum disorder
    09 Unemployment benefits
    10 30-year mortgage rates
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    Sammy whoooooooooooooo?????????????????
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    Sammy Davis Jr...that is cool. I think whenever Van Halen gets asked about Sammy in the future, they just go on and on about Sammy Davis Jr. and when the interviewer says "I mean Hagar"... they go "ya' man, Paul David Hagar did a great job in assisting in engineering the new album"

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