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Thread: "The Ched Chunkhead Opens His Insufferable Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" Thread

  1. #1121
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  3. #1122
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    Quote Originally Posted by ELVIS View Post



    I DO enjoy regular Miller High Life. The Champagne of Beers? It's a little bit too fizzy - but if you open 2 bottles at a time, by the time you get to the 2nd the fizz has bubbled out to normal levels. Gives great burps & next morning snooze button farts. But it's damn cheap, works great, and doesn't leave me hungover.

    Remember those old time aluminum cans with the top that peeled off? So many people would then drop the removed tab inside the can. I wonder how many people choked on 1 of those? I saw it happen once in a CHiPs episode....so I never did it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sgt Schultz View Post


    OMFG! The attention to detail is killing me. The VH ring logo on the bottle...and is that Dave sticking it to that woman on the bottle label?

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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    I DO enjoy regular Miller High Life. The Champagne of Beers? It's a little bit too fizzy - but if you open 2 bottles at a time, by the time you get to the 2nd the fizz has bubbled out to normal levels. Gives great burps & next morning snooze button farts. But it's damn cheap, works great, and doesn't leave me hungover.
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    True 'supergroups' don't have to remind people every fucking time what famous band they came from.
    No shit, you never heard the guys in Foreigner or Bad Company bragging about having been in Mott The Hoople, Free or King Crimson.
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    You know these 13 year old kids get what Sammy still has not been able to figure out in a whole lifetime, there is only one real Van Halen worth honoring...they might have also taken the whole bass player argument to a whole new level by not even having one, they don't miss Michael or Wolfgang lol. Hey, they are only 13 years old, but they get it
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_L0No...eature=related
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carmine View Post
    Look...After watching the video that Mewisemagic put up of him the other night on That Metal Show, all I will say is this: Fuck You, Hagar!

    You are the most bitter, whiny, motherfucking pussy alive. You were given a seat in the greatest rock band of all time...and although I personally think you fucking sucked while you were in VH...I'll give credit for your years riding along in the House that Roth built...

    to listen to you now makes me fucking sick...the shit you pulled slagging on Wolfgang is beyond disgusting. You're 60 fucking years old...you're in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as a member of Van Halen, you piece of shit...yet, you dog them every chance you get? Why is it that you only talk about VH when someone puts a mic in your face? I'll tell you....NO ONE GIVES A FLYING FUCK ABOUT YOU, CHICKENFOOT or ANYTHING ELSE YOU DO UNLESS IT PERTAINS TO VAN HALEN AND YOU CANT ADMIT IT!

    Shut your goddamn mouth, grow the fuck up and stop ripping on the band that made your career for you. Without your time in Van Halen...you'd be about as relevant in the history of rock and roll as Adam fucking Ant...

    now, fuck off...

    Props, 100% truth
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  9. #1128
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    I DO enjoy regular Miller High Life. The Champagne of Beers? It's a little bit too fizzy - but if you open 2 bottles at a time, by the time you get to the 2nd the fizz has bubbled out to normal levels. Gives great burps & next morning snooze button farts. But it's damn cheap, works great, and doesn't leave me hungover.

    Remember those old time aluminum cans with the top that peeled off? So many people would then drop the removed tab inside the can. I wonder how many people choked on 1 of those? I saw it happen once in a CHiPs episode....so I never did it.
    Fucking awesome! Sammy looks gay as fuck AND has the SAME haircut as that chick in the background...

    Icon~
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jetstream View Post
    You know these 13 year old kids get what Sammy still has not been able to figure out in a whole lifetime, there is only one real Van Halen worth honoring...they might have also taken the whole bass player argument to a whole new level by not even having one, they don't miss Michael or Wolfgang lol. Hey, they are only 13 years old, but they get it
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_L0No...eature=related
    Fuck yeah!!! These kids get it! The "Brownsound" via Marshall and young kids, it's a new generation. I like the deadpan deliver of the singer, really liked the "I know the law, friend!" delivery! Haha! Love it!

    That is all.

    Icon~

  11. #1130
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    Quote Originally Posted by conmee View Post
    Fuck yeah!!! These kids get it! The "Brownsound" via Marshall and young kids, it's a new generation. I like the deadpan deliver of the singer, really liked the "I know the law, friend!" delivery! Haha! Love it!

    That is all.

    Icon~
    Even their drummer nails Alex's bored look too...

    Icon~

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jetstream View Post
    You know these 13 year old kids get what Sammy still has not been able to figure out in a whole lifetime, there is only one real Van Halen worth honoring...they might have also taken the whole bass player argument to a whole new level by not even having one, they don't miss Michael or Wolfgang lol. Hey, they are only 13 years old, but they get it
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_L0No...eature=related
    This could be the opportunity Mike Anthony has been waiting for.
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  14. #1132
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    Quote Originally Posted by conmee View Post
    Even their drummer nails Alex's bored look too...

    Icon~
    alright this is the last post from me with these 13 year olds, but I would rather go see them play old Van Halen then go see Spammy and Chickenfoot...that is right, 13 year old kids kick your ass Hagritte
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIyc_...eature=related

  15. #1133
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    I see Bette and the Hagaritas announced their tour.... Look at the stadiums they're playing !!

    May 04 Harrah's Hotel & Casino (Lake Tahoe, NV)
    May 05 Harrah's Hotel & Casino (Lake Tahoe, NV)
    May 09 The Fillmore Aud. (Denver, CO)
    May 11 The Brick (Minneapolis, MN)
    May 12 Chicago Theater (Chicago, IL)
    May 14 The Fillmore (Detroit, MI)
    May 16 Orpheum Theater (Boston, MA)
    May 18 House of Blues (Atlantic City, NJ)
    May 19 Mohegan Sun (Uncasville, CT)
    May 21 Beacon Theater (New York, NY)
    May 23 Fox Theater (St. Louis, MO)
    May 25 Winstar Casino (Thackerville, OK)
    May 27 Rocklahoma (Pryor, OK)
    May 29 Bayou Music Center (Houston, TX)
    May 31 Anselmo Valencia Amphetheater (Tucson, AZ)
    Jun 01 The Joint (Las Vegas, NV)
    Jun 03 Schnitzer Hall (Portland, OR)
    Jun 05 Queen Elizabeth Theater (Vancouver, BC)
    Jun 06 WaMu Theater (Seattle, WA)
    Jun 10 Greek Theater (Los Angeles, CA) *
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  16. #1134
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    I'm going to pretend I didn't notice that they're playing Mohegan (as are VH) - all the rest are pretty amusing!! GAME OVER SPAMMY!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Va Beach VH Fan View Post
    I see Bette and the Hagaritas announced their tour.... Look at the stadiums they're playing !!
    Coming Soon: An announcement from Captain Velveeta that explains how Chickenfood purposely is "playing small theaters and community centers, in order to remain intimate with their fans. Sure, they could sell out arenas and the like, but this is about the people, man."

    2/22/12

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  19. #1136
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    Quote Originally Posted by Momshell View Post
    I'm going to pretend I didn't notice that they're playing Mohegan (as are VH) - all the rest are pretty amusing!! GAME OVER SPAMMY!!!
    I can almost guarantee that their Mohegan date will be a snapshot of the '04 VH tour, where many, many arenas actually tarped their entire upper decks.....

  20. #1137
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    Coming Soon: An announcement from Captain Velveeta that explains how Chickenfood purposely is "playing small theaters and community centers, in order to remain intimate with their fans. Sure, they could sell out arenas and the like, but this is about the people, man."

    2/22/12

    Wonder if they'll be free concerts
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    Quote Originally Posted by kwame k View Post
    Wonder if they'll be free concerts
    What was that old Dennis Miller line about how if they really want to fuck you, they'll give you one free?

    SAMMY HAGAR Hopes To Make Concerts Free In The Future - Aug. 1, 2005

    Launch Radio Networks reports: Sammy Hagar hopes that in the near future he won't have to charge for a concert ticket again. Hagar told Launch that his other ventures, like Cabo Wabo tequila and his Cabo Wabo Cantina clubs, are making enough money to subsidize his live dates. He plans to pass that benefit on to the fans. "I'm getting real close to being able to go out and perform, big concerts with huge production, for free," he said. "That's what I'm trying to get to. It's a year or two early from being able to do it for free, assuming the company keeps growing the way it is."

  22. #1139
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    Chickenfoot has just announced an additional leg to their 2012 tour:

    June 11th: Walmart parking lot: Hackensack, New Jersey
    June 13th: Attias Flea Market: Sayville, Long Island
    June 15th: Taco Bell: Wallingford, Connecticut
    June 16th: Vince Lombardi Rest Stop: New Jersey Turnpike: Ridgefield, New Jersey
    June 18th: McDonalds Playland: Boston, Massachusetts
    June 20th: The tour wraps up with a one time only, legendary show at the Lost City of Atlantis...........hurry, tickets are going fast.
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    What was that old Dennis Miller line about how if they really want to fuck you, they'll give you one free?

    SAMMY HAGAR Hopes To Make Concerts Free In The Future - Aug. 1, 2005

    Launch Radio Networks reports: Sammy Hagar hopes that in the near future he won't have to charge for a concert ticket again. Hagar told Launch that his other ventures, like Cabo Wabo tequila and his Cabo Wabo Cantina clubs, are making enough money to subsidize his live dates. He plans to pass that benefit on to the fans. "I'm getting real close to being able to go out and perform, big concerts with huge production, for free," he said. "That's what I'm trying to get to. It's a year or two early from being able to do it for free, assuming the company keeps growing the way it is."
    Yep, I'm glad you found the actual quote!

    I guess if you're going to follow the Jimmy Buffett business model you have to charge the people

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    Quote Originally Posted by fourthcoming View Post
    Chickenfoot has just announced an additional leg to their 2012 tour:

    June 11th: Walmart parking lot: Hackensack, New Jersey
    NOTE: Due to a scheduling conflict with the New Jersey Hot Wheels Collector's Club, tickets initially sold for the June 10 Lodi KMart show will be honored at this event.

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  28. #1143
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    Quote Originally Posted by Va Beach VH Fan View Post
    May 19 Mohegan Sun (Uncasville, CT)
    Oh goodie...a comparison date! Let's see who sells more tickets...

    Note to the staff at Mohegan Sun...break out the tarps for May 19...

    You are absolutely right , VA...
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    Joe Satriani was playing 2000 seaters solo before joining Chickenshit, at least half the crowd will be the guitar shred community, nothing to do with Hagar.

  30. #1145
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    The videos of that Metal Show where they had the competition between replacement singers when they ask the audience and mention Hagar there is not only silence but one person said noooo. Naturally they cheered for Brian Johnson.
    Alright, which Roth Army member was in the audience saying nooooo?

    Also in the other clip there's much irony with regard to this place when Hagar stumps the Junk by asking which Bette Miller tune (fucker mispronounced her name repeatedly) did she record of Hagar's. naturally the correct answer was who in the free world could possibly give an atom's worth of a shit.
    Last edited by ThrillsNSpills; 02-22-2012 at 10:19 AM.
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  32. #1146
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    Eddie Trunk is a Sammy sucker. My God this guy is so not metal. He's a grown up Stewart from Beavis & Butthead wearing his Winger shirt trying to hang out with the rockers to seem cool. The rockers were the tough guys, with the easy chicks, and good dope before school. Who wouldn't want to hang with them?
    LOL... Replacement singers : who was the Bette

    You can't make this stuff up. The jokes write themselves...

  33. #1147
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    Remember those old time aluminum cans with the top that peeled off?
    Aaahhhh yessssssssss!
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    NOTE: Due to a scheduling conflict with the New Jersey Hot Wheels Collector's Club, tickets initially sold for the June 10 Lodi KMart show will be honored at this event.
    Good to know, thanks Chef.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Carmine View Post
    Oh goodie...a comparison date! Let's see who sells more tickets...

    Note to the staff at Mohegan Sun...break out the tarps for May 19...
    You can picture the conversation in the line outside.

    'Sammy Hagar? I don't care how many empty seats you have, take me straight back to the prison now!'

  36. #1150
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    Jun 03 Schnitzer Hall (Portland, OR)
    That one looks like a sausage fest
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    Someone should fund a study to determine the empirical delta in ticket and merchandise sales of Dick N Foot before and after the New Album (BNA, ANA). You know there is a measurable financial loss.
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    lol...this OUTSTANDING video of "Women in Love" has already more views than the new chickenshit single after weeks...see how high the bar is set for your four piece (of shit) band...

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    Most excellent !
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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by DaveTheScott View Post
    Someone should fund a study to determine the empirical delta in ticket and merchandise sales of Dick N Foot before and after the New Album (BNA, ANA). You know there is a measurable financial loss.
    Dick N Foot?

    Well played, sir. Well played.

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    So now this dickhead wants to throw his two-cents into the toilet with his lame ass bandmate?
    Fuck him, and don't argue that he 'didn't really say anything negative'... Fuck Him!

    JOE SATRIANI On 'A Different Kind Of Truth': 'The Crime Is That We Don't Have Three New Albums' - Feb. 23, 2012
    In a recent interview with Classic Rock Revisited, CHICKENFOOT guitarist Joe Satriani was asked if he has heard the new VAN HALEN album, "A Different Kind Of Truth", and what he thinks of it. "I kind of like it," Joe replied. "I was talking to Sammy [Hagar, CHICKENFOOT/ex-VAN HALEN singer] about it the other day. I said, 'You know, Sam, I have to congratulate you on the enduring success of VAN HALEN. It is something that Mike [Anthony, CHICKENFOOT/ex-VAN HALEN bassist] and you should be proud of.' Mike and Sam were at least as successful, if not more so, than when Dave [Lee Roth, original VAN HALEN singer] was in the band. If you turn on any classic rock radio station, then you hear just as much Sammy-era VAN HALEN as you do David Lee Roth-era VAN HALEN. As uncomfortable as it might be for those guys to try to sort out business between them, from my perspective, I'm just a guy and I like it all. If I hear Eddie [Van Halen] and Alex [Van Halen] playing together, then I'm pretty much all the way there immediately. I think that both Dave and Sam brought interesting things to Eddie's musicianship, as he wrote different kinds of songs with each. Dave is more vaudeville and Sammy is more rock. For me, just to have a new record with Eddie Van Halen — I like that. When you think that we've been missing him for so long — the crime is that we don't have three new albums."
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    I'll always love Joe as a guitarist, but he's dead wrong about Spam being more "rock" than Dave...AS IF...
    of course, he HAS to say something nice about the flatulent one, or he'll have to listen to MORE whining...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Walker View Post
    So now this dickhead wants to throw his two-cents into the toilet with his lame ass bandmate?
    Fuck him, and don't argue that he 'didn't really say anything negative'... Fuck Him!
    I honestly believe your anger is being misplaced here. It isn't so much what Joe Satriani (one of the blandest, most vanilla guitar players in the history of recorded music) is saying, rather it is the source itself. And by that I do not mean the knuckle-dragging rock star(s) themselves, but the moronic imbeciles that feel a constant need to put these dipshit "opinions" out into the ether to begin with.

    Yup, it's the so-called "journalists" that take a 5-10 minute phone interview with some equally dubious "star", cut it up into little soundbites, add some horseshit to it to create a paragraph (or less), in order to distribute the tripe via blogs for two or three weeks to create bandwidth and site traffic. Seriously, does anyone truly care what color underpants Kim Kardashian wore at her wedding or if Miley Cyrus got a new tattoo? Fuck, I wouldn't even have heard of either of these two celebrities if I'd not found their names and likenesses splattered all over the internet in the first place. The entire "Get it fast, in color while not necessarily being accurate or even newsworthy" trend is one of the compromises that comes with cyberspace.

    So to me, the issue isn't with what comes out of the mouth of Satriani, Hagar, that lunkhead who pretends to play bass in Motley Crue or any of these other instantly quotable, barely-musically inclined numbskulls out there walking the planet and using up valuable oxygen. The problem is with the lazy, harebrained twits that seem to attach some significance to what they say in the first place.

    To put things more succinctly, one can always defer to the late Mr. Frank Zappa:

    "Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read."
    - Quoted to Linda Botts, "Loose Talk" (1980)
    Last edited by chefcraig; 02-23-2012 at 11:24 AM.

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    I'm with Walker, the diminutive Kojak has just tied his flag to the Fatso gravy boat!

    Fuck him and his background music for the surf scenes in between Karaoke machine songs !


    #GNAJS anyone?

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    Quote Originally Posted by jhale667 View Post
    I'll always love Joe as a guitarist, but he's dead wrong about Spam being more "rock" than Dave...AS IF...
    of course, he HAS to say something nice about the flatulent one, or he'll have to listen to MORE whining...


    On 1 side, Dave is more vaudeville. But he's also more rock. So he wins both categories. GO DAVE! Dave is more rock in one song than Sammy has been in his entire career (On Fire, Light Up The Sky, House Of Pain, China Town, I could keep going Sam.....)

    And giving Sam props for the enduring success of VH? If the guy stayed in the band in 1996 they would be playing indian casinos today.......like Chickenface is.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Walker View Post
    Fuck Him!

    Gonna have to agree with your assessment. Fuck him.

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