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Thread: "The Ched Chunkhead Opens His Insufferable Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" Thread

  1. #1321
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    The Ched Chunker couldn't shine Dave's guitar strap.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post

    Excuse me Sam but Dave does play guitar. He's just smart enough to know when you have Eddie Fuckin Van Halen in your band you don't need to try and compete with him.
    Never heard this. Pretty kick ass!! You gotta have some soul to play like that.

  3. #1323
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    Quote Originally Posted by Greenbuds View Post
    Mike will always be Sammy's stooge. I've said it before and will say again - anyone who gives a rat's ass about Mike Anthony is not a fan of DLR or Classic VH. He hates DLR and would replace Dave in a second with Spammy. From Ched's book, the foreward by MA:

    -----

    Before Sammy showed up, we were all pretty devastated. It looked like
    the band had possibly come to the end after Roth left. When we’d first
    signed with Warner Bros., friends in the business told us that five
    years was a good life span for a rock group. We figured we may have
    had our run. The label wasn’t very enthusiastic, either. They didn’t
    even want us to continue to call the band Van Halen. Eddie and Al
    didn’t know what to do. They tossed around names of singers and we did
    have a couple of unknown guys come in and sing with us because we
    thought that bringing in somebody already known would change the
    dynamic of the band. That didn’t work, and nobody knew what to do
    until Claudio Zampoli, Eddie’s car mechanic, suggested that he call
    Sammy.

    All of a sudden we’re taking it to a new level. Not only do we have
    this guy who can really sing, but now we’ve got another guitar player,
    too. It was something new, something different, and Eddie was really
    into it. Sammy was the key. He was the guy who took us to a new,
    higher plateau with Van Halen.

    With Sammy, we had real melody. He was just a great all-around
    musician. Eddie could say, “Hey, Sam, I got this idea,” and Sammy
    could pick up a guitar and go, “Yes, but what about this?” That was
    all new with us. We started to become a much more musical band.
    With Sammy in the band, Van Halen went through the roof. The band
    scored a string of number one multiplatinum albums. We ruled the arena
    rock world and played before capacity crowds night after night for
    more than ten years. We were the world champion hard-rock band and
    Sammy took us there.

    He is the most upbeat, positive guy in the world. He loves life. He
    only happens to be a singer and play music, too. And another
    thing—he’s no bullshitter. If Sammy says it happened, it did. There’s
    nobody else anywhere like him. I don’t know how to put it. Sam is one
    crazy motherfucker. But I mean that in only the best possible way.


    - Michael Anthony

    ----
    I've always tried to refrain from taking shots at Mike as he's one of the original legendary four, but reading this makes it very difficult to continue having the same level of respect this guy.

    So where do we start? First, it's clear Mike continues to allow his friendship with Hagar to colour his judgement, whether it be in terms of being honest about the band's history and legacy, or who should be fronting them. It's also interesting that he admits Sammy was not even on the radar, not considered at all as a replacement by the band and his hiring was simply based on desparation and a suggestion by a mutual aquaintance. Yet many a sheep has claimed Sammy was always wanted by them, even while Dave was in the band.

    As for the claim Hagar took them to a higher level - that is complete nonsense and Mike knows it. No artist has EVER cited the Van Hagar era as an influence and I can't recall any other famous artist or musician ever saying they prefered Van Hagar, or even thought it was on the same level as CVH. That says it all and I'm sure Mike is well aware of the lack of respect for the Van Hagar era among his peers. Yet he puts his name to this rubbish? It does nothing for his credibility. OBVIOUSLY he's sticking up for his mate and he's bitter about his own demise, but all he's doing is making himself look as twisted as Hagar. Really pathetic and childish stuff from someone who is usually seen as 'a class act'.

    Oh and selling out arenas everywhere Mike? You've clearly been spending too much time with Hagar. In Australia, Van Halen had almost disappeared from popular culture by the early-mid 90s, after being THE coolest hard rock band on the planet in 1985.

    It's almost as if Hagar wrote this piece and Mike just signed it. I wouldn't be surprised.
    Last edited by Halen High; 03-01-2012 at 04:22 AM.
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    well...what shall TAFKAB say? "I know, I am with the wrong guy playing cruises and KFC parking lots instead of playing madison square garden with the greatest frontman on earth and the king of ten fingers and six strings and I am biting my own dick for that"?

    he can't say that the Dave years were more important to the legacy of the band and maybe he REALLY doesn't see it this way. maybe he liked it more in the 1985-1996 years. so be it...there are more people out there saying "bon jovi is a great rock band"...I'm fine with that...as long as Dave and Ed are out there playing their asses off as they do...

    next thing will be that sammy will say "they never had a #1 album with dave, but four in a row with me...if we had put out a new album it would have been the biggest thing ever outselling Adele, U2, Whitney and Micheal together..."

    so what, fatty...bring it on...you will never be invited to that party again...and I know the trouble with never...
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  5. #1325
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    Mike: "He is the most upbeat, positive guy in the world."

    BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Mike: "And another thing—he’s no bullshitter. If Sammy says it happened, it did."

    A neutral fan at the VHND, who loves Sammy as much as Dave, bought Sammy's book and posted his thoughts on it at the website. He was so appalled at the extent of the lying, he wrote up a 2,000+ word response, exposing all the bullshit. From fictional tour attendances, to claiming to have been in Van Halen longer than Dave, to saying Van Hagar sold more albums than CVH, on and on it went - lie after lie after lie - and all in print.

    Oh but that's right, "if Sammy says it happened, it did." Good one Mike.
    Last edited by Halen High; 03-01-2012 at 04:52 AM.

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    Sammy just can't let it go.


    He was in the greatest American rock band ever.
    He IS in a great lineup of a band now.
    He does have a pretty decent solo catalog.
    He does have a boatload of money & will never run out.

    This guy should be happy & content. It's okay to be proud of his time in VH, and it's okay for him to think those tunes were great. But someone really just needs to grab Sammys shoulders and turn him 180 degrees. Dude is facing the past & not the future.

    Sammy was the replacement. He seems to think somehow Dave is replacing him. Weird. Sam should just congratulate the guys on the new album & be thankful he got to keep Daves seat warm for his rightful return.
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  8. #1327
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    He IS in a great lineup of a band now.
    I agree with your post but I object to the word "great" being used to describe Chickenchips. Prefer "slightly above average" or "solid"
    (and that's being pretty generous)

    Satch is the only guy who could be considered great.
    Last edited by Yount; 03-01-2012 at 06:27 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yount View Post
    I agree with your post but I object to the word "great" being used to describe Chickenchips. Prefer "slightly above average" or "solid"
    (and that's being pretty generous)

    Satch is the only guy who could be considered great.

    Well, I said great lineup. Just because the players could be considered great does NOT mean they are great together. Chocolate is great & so is rainbow trout. But not together. Joe is great....inarguable. The others? Well, they've been in great bands so the argument could be made. But my point was that Sammy should be happy with the great cards he has been dealt rather than trying to steal all of David Lee Roths poker chips constantly.

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  12. #1329
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yount View Post
    He had some talent. Sad to see a band torn apart by jealousy and insecurity, and Hagar was no fix. He brought these two qualities in spades.


    SAMMY: I have no idea what these guys went through with Dave as a singer in the band – but with me, I tell you, being a former guitarist, I can see a guitar riff that Edward has in a song or something, and maybe appreciate it a bit more than a guy who doesn't play guitar. So like maybe someone else would overlook a really great lick just because they weren't a guitarist and couldn't say, "Hey, that's a really great lick."

    AS IF
    yeah. "hey, theat's a really great lick, and i'm gonna wrap these shitty lyrics around it!"

    and i'm not going to re-quote the book forward, but i'd bet Sammy wrote that shit, too.
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  14. #1330
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    But my point was that Sammy should be happy with the great cards he has been dealt rather than trying to steal all of David Lee Roths poker chips constantly.
    Absolutely. Besides the lyrics, it's not a bad sound they've got going.

  15. #1331
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halen High View Post
    "if Sammy says it happened, it did." Good one Mike.

    That quote is especially distasteful.
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    Fucking Queers!

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    There goes my lunch...
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    LOL.....I'll skip breakfast this morning. Damn Teletubbies....I bet they are singing When It's Love.....look at Mikey singing those impossible to replace harmonies. I use to despise the Chunker....now I am actually starting to feel sorry for him. What happens when Mellencamp goes on tour? The drummer from Tom Petty's band will step in. Joke.
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    Well you can't replace the sound and tone of Mike's voice. He has a unique sounding voice, and backing harmonies that were one half Mike and one half Ed are/were a part of the VH sound. Wolf is doing a great job, what a gifted kid.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Walker View Post
    Fucking Queers!




    I smell a photoshop coming.....and it's gonna be gross.

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    All this talk of Super-Group (Chickenshit)...check this out...This is a supergroup
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fYuL...eature=related

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    Why does Ed's guitar sound weaker here than usual? Hmmmm...could it be Mayor McCheese?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Walker View Post

    How does a classic stage-move that looks so cool when say, Tyler and Perry do it, or Roth and EVH do it - look so uber-disgusting when these two try?
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    Quote Originally Posted by jhale667 View Post
    How does a classic stage-move that looks so cool when say, Tyler and Perry do it, or Roth and EVH do it - look so uber-disgusting when these two try?
    Uhhhg. I just finished lunch then clicked on this post. Not good.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Walker View Post
    Fucking Queers!
    Ewww...I just threw up in my mouth. So much for my 5 dollar foot long.

    There is quite a difference between being ultra-cool and just plain goofy.

    Last edited by chefcraig; 03-01-2012 at 01:17 PM.
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    That pic is too fucking much!
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    Ewww...I just threw up in my mouth. So much for my 5 dollar foot long.

    There is quite a difference between being ultra-cool and just plain goofy.

    Now THAT is what I'm talking about - that looks bad ass - Spam and MA look like they're about to play tonsil-hockey!

  33. #1345
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    Quote Originally Posted by NIN1211 View Post
    This is a supergroup

    And this is a recipe for grouper soup...




    Ingredients

    * Grouper (fish), 4 fillet (remove)
    * Zucchini, baby, 1 large (remove)
    * *Summer Squash, 1 medium (remove)
    * Celery, raw, 2 medium (remove)
    * Carrots, raw, 2 large (7-1/4" to 8-1/2" long) (remove)
    * Stewed Tomatoes, 1 cup (remove)
    * Water, tap, 5 cup (8 fl oz) (remove)
    * Garlic, 1 clove (remove)
    * Paprika, 1 tbsp (remove)
    * Olive Oil, 1 tbsp (remove)
    * Salt, 1 tsp (remove)
    * Pepper, red or cayenne, 1 tsp (remove)
    * Pepper, black, 1 tsp (remove)

    cut grouper into 2 inch cubes, sprinkle with paprika, fry in olive oil, set aside.
    Bring water to boil add chop and add veggies, let cook.
    Season to taste.
    Add fish.
    Number of Servings: 4

    http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recip...?recipe=667612

  34. #1346
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    All this talk about Sambo's book has got me thinking. If you are in a book store and they have copies of "Red..." but no copies of "Crazy From the Heat", then obviously you are in:

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    I'll be right back. I have to go take a Sammy, and then wipe my Hagar.
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    One major thing Sammy overlooks is that part of his success with VH, is the fact that Dave helped create first. Sammy thinks you can purchase a Starbucks franchise, and then claim all of the success the brand has. No, Dave helped build the foundation that he lucked into.

  39. #1349
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    I'll get slammed with this..but here it goes..

    MA was an average bassplayer, in a group with the greatest guitarist to have ever lived not named Hendrix, an amazing and charismatic frontman that brought out the best of the group, and damn good drummer in AVH.

    If there was anyone in the VH lineup that was replacable..it was him.

    Joe Satriani is technically a great guitar player but lacks the soul you get from guys like EVH, Jimi, Page and Perry. He's nice to hear shred, but not someone you get overly excited about as a fan of music.

    Chad Smith/John Cougar dude? Both were clearly not the featured members of their group.

    Hagar? Again, a mediocre singer from day 1. His best days were with Montrose and after he went out on his own it took a sharp nose dive into music that was very Foreigner-like. ...except Foreigner, from all accounts puts on a tremendous show. Hagar has piggybacked and leached off the name VAN HALEN as much as he could, it's to me, if Coverdale tried to keep pushing himself as a member of Zep. when he just happened to work with a member.
    Last edited by Unchainme; 03-01-2012 at 04:51 PM.
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  41. #1350
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unchainme View Post
    I'll get slammed with this..but here it goes..

    MA was an average bassplayer, in a group with the greatest guitarist to have ever lived not named Hendrix, an amazing and charismatic frontman that brought out the best of the group, and damn good drummer in AVH.

    If there was anyone in the VH lineup that was replacable..it was him.

    Joe Satriani is technically a great guitar player but lacks the soul you get from guys like EVH, Jimi Page and Perry. He's nice to hear shred, but not someone you get overly excited about as a fan of music.

    Chad Smith/John Cougar dude? Both were clearly not the featured members of their group.

    Hagar? Again, a mediocre singer from day 1. His best days were with Montrose and after he went out on his own it took a sharp nose dive into music that was very Foreigner-like. ...except Foreigner, from all accounts puts on a tremendous show. Hagar has piggybacked and leached off the name VAN HALEN as much as he could, it's to me, if Coverdale tried to keep pushing himself as a member of Zep. when he just happened to work with a member.
    Slammed?
    This was an A+ post... we'll maybe an A... I'll take points off for implying that Hagar had 'best days', which is an incorrect statement.

  42. #1351
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unchainme View Post
    I'll get slammed with this..but here it goes..

    MA was an average bassplayer, in a group with the greatest guitarist to have ever lived not named Hendrix, an amazing and charismatic frontman that brought out the best of the group, and damn good drummer in AVH.

    If there was anyone in the VH lineup that was replacable..it was him.

    Joe Satriani is technically a great guitar player but lacks the soul you get from guys like EVH, Jimi, Page and Perry. He's nice to hear shred, but not someone you get overly excited about as a fan of music.

    Chad Smith/John Cougar dude? Both were clearly not the featured members of their group.

    Hagar? Again, a mediocre singer from day 1. His best days were with Montrose and after he went out on his own it took a sharp nose dive into music that was very Foreigner-like. ...except Foreigner, from all accounts puts on a tremendous show. Hagar has piggybacked and leached off the name VAN HALEN as much as he could, it's to me, if Coverdale tried to keep pushing himself as a member of Zep. when he just happened to work with a member.
    Joe Satriani has never written a good song
    Sammy Hagar has never written a good song
    Michael Anthony has never written a good song
    Chad Smith has never written a good song

    That's why Chickenfoot will never write a good song.

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  44. #1352
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unchainme View Post
    Hagar? Again, a mediocre singer from day 1. His best days were with Montrose and after he went out on his own it took a sharp nose dive into music that was very Foreigner-like. ...except Foreigner, from all accounts puts on a tremendous show. Hagar has piggybacked and leached off the name VAN HALEN as much as he could, it's to me, if Coverdale tried to keep pushing himself as a member of Zep. when he just happened to work with a member.
    He just got lucky when the whole Van Halen-led rock scene took off in the late 70's-early 80's. Explosions like that usually allow mediocre talents like Hagar to break on through.

  45. #1353
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    <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/77506481@N02/6798849102/" title="poster by gamgee71, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7183/6798849102_b57062c79c.jpg" width="500" height="400" alt="poster"></a>
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  47. #1354
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    Gawd damn, MA's Mickey Mouse tattoo never looked gayer!!!!!!
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  48. #1355
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    That photo gets more and more fucked up the more I see it ....
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  49. #1356
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    Quote Originally Posted by vandeleur View Post
    That photo gets more and more fucked up the more I see it ....
    Yes, nice evolution!

  50. #1357
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    I just put the new one on my FB page. Already had one "friend" from 3rd grade say VH is nothing with out these guys. I might have to delete him.

  51. #1358
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    Quote Originally Posted by SNIPER View Post
    I just put the new one on my FB page. Already had one "friend" from 3rd grade say VH is nothing with out these guys. I might have to delete him.
    MIGHT??? That's delete him and burn his house down with his family and REO Speedwagon collection in it territory!

  52. #1359
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catfish View Post
    MIGHT??? That's delete him and burn his house down with his family and REO Speedwagon collection in it territory!
    HAHA!! Damn right it is. I have known the dude for 32 years but he has crossed the line.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SNIPER View Post
    HAHA!! Damn right it is. I have known the dude for 32 years but he has crossed the line.
    Reply with this...


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