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Thread: "The Ched Chunkhead Opens His Insufferable Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" Thread

  1. #1641
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    Tour pass from Spam's 82 tour...



    Nothing's changed.....
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  3. #1642
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    Quote Originally Posted by sambo View Post
    Tour pass from Spam's 82 tour...



    Nothing's changed.....

    No fucking way. Is that real?



    Truth in advertising.



    * I wonder now if For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge was Sams idea. All the stupid acronyms or whatever.
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    Driving the kids home from swimming lessons yesterday and 'When It's Love' came on the radio (thank God they were asleep). As an interesting experiment in audio torture, I decided to see if I could get through the whole song without puking/turning off the radio. First off, it's just a horridly sappy song - and my immediate impression was: man, what the hell happened to Eddie Van Halen? This song proves that the Haggar years just neutered the guy creatively. The song had a decent guitar solo that kind of sounded like David Gilmore, but otherwise the Delilah radio-friendly keyboards and "nah nah nah's..." were enough to make my stomach churn - and I hadn't even gotten to Spammy's lyrics yet!

    Man - where to begin? Admittedly, I haven't listened to this song in probably 20 years or more, but I can't imagine that I ever liked it - even when I was foolishly defending Ed back in the late '80's early '90's. Haggar's voice is awful in this song. Truly, truly awful. Almost as bad, in fact, as Cherone's on 'Van Halen III.' I could almost see this song being a template for how they recorded Gary on that album: "Sing like Sammy did on 'When It's Love' and you'll be fine." Grating, screeching, barely listenable. Spammy's vocals on any given song are suspect at best, but on this one track in particular, his voice is obnoxiously terrible - with a few notes being like a rubber glove fitted with roofing nails being dragged across the chalkboard in the 'Hot For Teacher' video. I made it through the entire song, but the residual effects were staggering. I had a stomach ache the rest of the night and had to down some Pepto before going to bed. Damn - what the hell was I thinking? Never again will I try to consume that much cheese in one sitting...
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  6. #1644
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yount View Post
    41 pages and still going strong!!

    I typed: "Stupid Sammy Hagar quotes" in google

    Radio Metal: Anyway, does that bother you when you hear people comparing Chickenfoot and Van Halen?

    Hagar: Oh, no, I think it's fantastic. Really, it's fantastic. Are you kidding me? If you take Joe versus Eddie, you take Dave versus me, Wolfie versus Mikey, Chad or Kenny versus Al… I mean, come on! You know what I mean? Man for man, who can sing the best? Dave or I, today? Who can play the best? Joe or Eddie, today? Who could play or sing the best? Wolfie or Mikey? I think it's a joke. Sure, I love the comparison as long as it's fair. Not because you're a big Eddie Van Halen fan, you think that he's God, therefore you think that he's better than Joe; you have to be bipartisan and just listen and watch both of them play. Listen, I played with them both, I can tell you right now: there is no comparison today. Never mind the innovator that Eddie was. I'm talking about what they can play today.

    So in other words, Chickenfoot is way better than Van Halen?

    As individuals, absolutely! I've been in both bands, I can tell you right now. Take the new albums and compare them track by track and then tell me.

    Oh dear.
    Well, I suppose it'd be unfair to expect Hagar would come right out and say that Van Halen 2012 was "better" than Chickenfoot.

    Personally, I have no interest in even listening to Chickenfoot to see how well they're playing or what they're playing this year and then comparing that to Van Halen.

    It's just amazing that Hagar has to go on and on in various interviews about Van Halen...meanwhile, they have NOTHING to say about him. Roth did the same sort of thing in the 80s and 90s, but at least he had a sense of humor about it. Hagar comes off like he's desperate. Doubtless Van Halen 2012 is swamping Chickenfoot commercially in terms of album and ticket sales.
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  7. #1645
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    I wanted to post this pic but didn't want to start a whole new thread. So why not in the Hagar Hate thread? lol And it does kinda fit the subject. Much like Sammy in Van halen......


    You're doing it wrong.





    Mustache goes over the top lip & just under the nose bro. You must have been really bad at pin the tail on the donkey. Either that or your bathroom mirror is from the funhouse.

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    The first time I heard "Hellooooo Baybeeeee!" and then a lyric storyline that sounded like a horny ten year old I got ill.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post

    The first time I heard "Hellooooo Baybeeeee!" and then a lyric storyline that sounded like a horny ten year old I got ill.
    Dave would have turned this into something good..Spam talking about his appetite...should have been a warning sign to his future lyrical intentions..."PoundsCakes", "Hungry For Breakfast"..."Finish What Ya Started"(probably food related as well)....are we truly sure he isn't saying "Hellllllooooo Graaaaaavvvvvy?" in the beginning of this?
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    Ha. Even the album cover is gay !
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    I would agree that the music would have been cool with Roth doing his own thing. This was written the same time "Blood And Fire" was. Both were in that movie I think.

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  15. #1650
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    Good enough.

    I reckon that's about the effort Van Halen put into their music post '85.
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    Saying Van Hagar is gay is offensive to all the gay people. I'd say Hagar is a shame for all the sexualities, all sex, male, female, cross, and all ethincities.
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    You know, seeing that pic of Chad hanging out with the VH family, I bet it really chaps the Fat Fuck's ass....his own drummer, hanging out with his mortal enemies...HAVING FUN!....and there is not a goddam thing he can do about it.



    Worthless cocksucker.
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  18. #1653
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    Quote Originally Posted by SNIPER View Post
    I would agree that the music would have been cool with Roth doing his own thing. This was written the same time "Blood And Fire" was. Both were in that movie I think.

    I still say the actual song 5150 is fucking great. Take out the singing and musically it's a gem. The drums are insane & fun with tons of fills & trills and the guitar riff is reminiscent of Little Guitars.

    (and I don't wanna hear about Alexs electric drum bullshit. I still think they sound great on this song)

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  20. #1654
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    (and I don't wanna hear about Alexs electric drum bullshit. I still think they sound great on this song)
    Agree. Think he was just trying to put some distance between the Roth songs and the new stuff by going octagonal. I think they all tried to change it up a bit.

    Sammy taking the band into love/relationship territory was risky stuff though, cos everyone splits and divorces and then hates those together songs they shared like When It's Love.... Stay frosty forever!!!

  21. #1655
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    Even if they wrote the greatest music in the world (which they didn't), with Hagar singing, it would still be like fucking a hot chick with a yeast infection.

    Admittedly, I haven't heard a lot of it, but I'm sure some of the riffs could have rocked...with a totally different approach. Hagar makes everything sound like a mid 80's Sylvester Stallone movie montage to me.
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  22. #1656
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    http://www.hennemusic.com/2012/03/sa...m-new-van.html

    Sammy Hagar has been making a habit of slamming the new Van Halen album, something the Red Rocker did for months before the record was even out.

    Now that he’s heard some of it, Sammy still thinks the band missed the mark.

    "I don't listen to much new music unless I hear a new song on the radio, and the last bands that did that to me were the Black Keys and Kings of Leon,” Hagar tells the Boston Phoenix. “When I heard 'Tattoo,' that single — and I saw the video because everybody kept sending it to me like, 'My god, have you seen this?' . . . 'Oh my god, you must be laughing your ass off!'— it wasn't a song that made me run out and buy their record. And so I haven't heard it. I haven't downloaded it, I haven't done anything.”

    Hagar didn’t discuss why he’s had a change of plans on this in recent months: he told Rolling Stone last fall, “I'll be the first guy waiting in line at the record store, if I could find one anymore. I'll be really curious [to hear the new VH].”

    “I heard another one that was kinda goofy too,” Sammy continues, “and then I heard, on the radio, 'She's the Woman,' and I thought that was kinda cool. That one sounds like what I would expect from Van Halen, a little closer to it. The other stuff didn't sound like what I was expecting, that's for sure."

    As for the matter of today's Van Halen playing only songs from the Roth catalog while on tour, Hagar says that it must be hard for Eddie and Alex to have to ignore a gaping section of their career. "The difference between Dave and I in that band, besides all the other million things,” says Sammy, “is that he can't sing any of the Van Hagar-era songs. Maybe he could do 'Finish What Ya Started,' possibly — so that makes it kind of weird for [Alex and Eddie] I think to take 11 years out of that thing."

    Hagar’s experiencing a convenient memory lapse here: during his tenure with VH, he would regularly agree to perform only four (4) songs from the entire Roth era (and one of those was a Kinks cover) – the one that made the band a household name before his arrival. In other words, Sammy did his best to ignore a dozen years of VH history himself.

    Now that the Hagar-led Chickenfoot are preparing to embark on a spring tour – more than six months after the release of “Chickenfoot III” – he discovered the band has a date in Los Angeles bookended by a pair of Van Halen shows, something that initially had him pissed at the promoters.

    "First I said, 'What the f**k are you doing putting us the same time as Van Halen?'" Hagar says now. "It's just gonna cause a needless competition between the fans, and I don't like that. I want the fans to feel like they can love Van Halen and that they can love Chickenfoot totally the same. I don't have any way of competing with those guys; you can't compete with Van Halen. I'm part of that legacy, how could I go out and compete with something I'm part of? I don't look at us like that, but I know some people do. You want to go see Van Halen one night and see us the next and compare us, you want to do that? Roll up your sleeves and come on. I welcome it, because I think this band is smokin'."




    God this guy is a jealous fuck.
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    "First I said, 'What the f**k are you doing putting us the same time as Van Halen?'" Hagar says now. "It's just gonna cause a needless competition between the fans, and I don't like that. I want the fans to feel like they can love Van Halen and that they can love Chickenfoot totally the same. I don't have any way of competing with those guys; you can't compete with Van Halen. I'm part of that legacy, how could I go out and compete with something I'm part of? I don't look at us like that, but I know some people do. You want to go see Van Halen one night and see us the next and compare us, you want to do that? Roll up your sleeves and come on. I welcome it, because I think this band is smokin'."
    Sweet, tap-dancing Jesus. The shit-fer-brains can't even make it through a single paragraph without contradicting himself.
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    Sam is a piece of shit.

    Its no wonder VH supposedly turned down a cover story with Rolling Stone. They keep catering towards this stupid fuck.
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    I wanted to post this pic but didn't want to start a whole new thread. So why not in the Hagar Hate thread? lol And it does kinda fit the subject. Much like Sammy in Van halen......


    You're doing it wrong.





    Mustache goes over the top lip & just under the nose bro. You must have been really bad at pin the tail on the donkey. Either that or your bathroom mirror is from the funhouse.
    I think I found this guy's dad...

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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    I wanted to post this pic but didn't want to start a whole new thread. So why not in the Hagar Hate thread? lol And it does kinda fit the subject. Much like Sammy in Van halen......


    You're doing it wrong.





    Mustache goes over the top lip & just under the nose bro. You must have been really bad at pin the tail on the donkey. Either that or your bathroom mirror is from the funhouse.
    That would be way cooler if he had a big handlebar mustache as well.
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    Quote Originally Posted by TwoFoolsAMinute View Post
    That would be way cooler if he had a big handlebar mustache as well.
    Yup. Just add a goofy hat, earring and a knife in his mouth and he could be the old logo for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.


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    After a long cold week of battle with Redheads my time has come to an end. I have been banned from all FB pages Gaygar.

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    Molly has the last laugh...that is if he knows how to. What a tool.
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    That damn Molly.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SNIPER View Post
    That damn Molly.
    Angel and Becky need to keep it up I guess, lol

    Sent from my BlackBerry 8520 using Tapatalk
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angel View Post
    Angel and Becky need to keep it up I guess, lol

    Sent from my BlackBerry 8520 using Tapatalk
    Still Fighting the good fight as we speak....no holds barred!

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    Was I the only one that got banned ?

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    Quote Originally Posted by SNIPER View Post
    After a long cold week of battle with Redheads my time has come to an end. I have been banned from all FB pages Gaygar.
    Pissed in the Cabo Wabo bottle did ya?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    Pissed in the Cabo Wabo bottle did ya?
    One would think a little piss in the Cabo would help it.

  39. #1670
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    Quote Originally Posted by SNIPER View Post
    Was I the only one that got banned ?
    Gettin there...me and Paul are still bringin' it

  40. #1671
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    I posted that I was gonna wipe my ass with Spams book and set it on fire on you tube for them to see. hehe ...

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  42. #1672
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    Quote Originally Posted by NIN1211 View Post
    Gettin there...me and Paul are still bringin' it
    Keep up the good fight, bro.

  43. #1673
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    I was watching a show about South Park (BIG fan here) on Comedy Central the other night and I had seen it several months ago but for some reason didn't catch this quote. Trey Parker is talking about how he and Matt Stone work together and how even though Trey writes all the scripts he still considers them to be partners and that South Park wouldn't work without them both. He makes a rather entertaining anology:

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    I really hate to say this (not) but if cancer needs to strike someone it should be this dillushional dumb SOB....
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  46. #1675
    The Australian.
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    nah, i still maintain that wishing death on anyone is bad karma.

    the pwnage is in the reviews; 'the hagar years were nullified' etc.

    and blood and fire. that song is his eulogy.
    stay frosty
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  48. #1676
    Atomic Jerk
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    Quote Originally Posted by SNIPER View Post
    "your facts are all mixed up. I have it on very good authority that Alex wanted to join Sammy and Mike, but didn't want to break Eddie's heart. It was Sammy and Mike who fired Eddie and Alex. Also, I listened to ADKOT (a buddy's copy, cuz I won't buy it) and Eddie's playing is clearly subpar now; any guitarist will tell you why -- Sammy made Ed's playing way better, and Sammy's absence makes Ed average."

    This one really cracks me up... HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    (From Noah Bozos)... "we Redheads are like a sick cult; we're like Jimmy Buffett fans on a combo of steroids, crack and Hamburger Helper. We are the most loyal fans in rock. We're the only "Army" out there."
    Sounds like Cleveland Browns fans. A bunch of fuckin' faggots.
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  49. #1677
    someone's doormat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jagermeister View Post
    "The difference between Dave and I in that band, besides all the other million things,” says Sammy

    He must be referring to the few more million albums Van Hagar has sold!!!

    "First I said, 'What the f**k are you doing putting us the same time as Van Halen?'" Hagar says now. "It's just gonna cause a needless competition between the fans, and I don't like that. I want the fans to feel like they can love Van Halen and that they can love Chickenfoot totally the same. I don't have any way of competing with those guys; you can't compete with Van Halen. I'm part of that legacy, how could I go out and compete with something I'm part of? I don't look at us like that, but I know some people do. You want to go see Van Halen one night and see us the next and compare us, you want to do that? Roll up your sleeves and come on. I welcome it, because I think this band is smokin'."
    So he says man for man Chickenfoot are better than Van Halen - then he won't bookend them live because people will compare.

    Then he concedes that you can't compete with Van Halen - FAIR ENOUGH!.... but then goes on to say HE was a part of that legacy and that you can't compete with that.

    This guy does not not which way he is peddling his bike! Publicly!!! HA!

  50. #1678
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    This is entertaining...

    Hager's "Jilted Ex-Wife Syndrome" is hitting critical mass. How dare they schedule 2 exquisite dinner parties with his little gig in the middle... He can't cuntpete... Two lavish events with champagne and caviar hosted by the Toast Master General™ serving up Prime Rib...

    Then there's the ChickenShit Clam Bake serving up Shit Sambitches, Budweiser and Beanie Weenies... no wonder he's whining like pig being ass fucked... by a Brahma bull.
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  51. #1679
    your last loose end
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    Quote Originally Posted by gbranton View Post
    I was watching a show about South Park (BIG fan here) on Comedy Central the other night and I had seen it several months ago but for some reason didn't catch this quote. Trey Parker is talking about how he and Matt Stone work together and how even though Trey writes all the scripts he still considers them to be partners and that South Park wouldn't work without them both. He makes a rather entertaining anology:

    Wow. That's a great find!
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  53. #1680
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    IF SAM DOESN'T WANT A COMPETITION BETWEEN THE TWO BANDS WHY DOES HE SAY PERSON FOR PERSON CHICKENFOOT IS BETTER THAN VAN HALEN?

    I couldn't help myself.
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