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Thread: "The Ched Chunkhead Opens His Insufferable Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" Thread

  1. #1801
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zing! View Post
    Damn... You know A LOT about Styx.

    Well, we knew there was one. Just didn't figure it'd be Bueno.
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    I think the press release should have read:

    Joe is touring down under with G3 and Sammy is attempting to catch up with his stomach.
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    OK...I had a weird thought today. Sammy is a big reason for the 2007 reunion with Dave and everything thereafter. Lemme explain then you guys can tell me I'm insane.....


    Pre-2004 EVH & AVH were used to touring with a singer where everything was fun & games, band of brothers, 1 for all, etc....

    2004 tour they fucking HATED Sammy. Separate planes, cars, hotels, exits from the stage, just awful. Fucking almost got to blows a few times. H A T E ! ! !

    After 2004 tour EVH & AVH sit down and think, holy fuck...if we can complete a tour like that with as bad as we hate Sammy, we sure as hell can get one done with DLR who we don't hate even in the same ballpark as that.

    With Sam the hate was very personal. With Dave the conflict was more about percentages, royalties, cuts, etc.

    So thanks to Sammy for letting the brothers know that if they could get through a tour with him & sauce, they could surely do two tours and an album with Dave.



    Makes sense to me kinda too. Sammy & Mike sell sauce & tequila and didn't really respect the VH name or legacy. Dave always has. Easy decision.

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    Don't know where else to post this, but it's kinda funny looking.





    oh...drawing came from here. Props where props are due right?

    http://www.davidokeefe.com/Paintings.aspx
    Last edited by sadaist; 04-04-2012 at 12:28 AM. Reason: linkage

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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    OK...I had a weird thought today. Sammy is a big reason for the 2007 reunion with Dave and everything thereafter. Lemme explain then you guys can tell me I'm insane.....


    Pre-2004 EVH & AVH were used to touring with a singer where everything was fun & games, band of brothers, 1 for all, etc....

    2004 tour they fucking HATED Sammy. Separate planes, cars, hotels, exits from the stage, just awful. Fucking almost got to blows a few times. H A T E ! ! !

    After 2004 tour EVH & AVH sit down and think, holy fuck...if we can complete a tour like that with as bad as we hate Sammy, we sure as hell can get one done with DLR who we don't hate even in the same ballpark as that.

    With Sam the hate was very personal. With Dave the conflict was more about percentages, royalties, cuts, etc.

    So thanks to Sammy for letting the brothers know that if they could get through a tour with him & sauce, they could surely do two tours and an album with Dave.



    Makes sense to me kinda too. Sammy & Mike sell sauce & tequila and didn't really respect the VH name or legacy. Dave always has. Easy decision.
    I think they just finally realize that Dave's "Monkey Hour" makes hella payola. Even Alex said way back then (as a Tiger Pit in '96) Dave go out and do your Dave Thing. Now they realize....a lot less stressful just to play music and let him do that.

    Roth On!
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    "Sammy is a little red worm." -Eddie Van Halen-

    "Mike Sobowleski and Sam are playing my songs calling themselves the other half of Van Halen. Al is the other half of Van Halen. They are playing my music and selling tequila and hot sauce. Are they fat? I would say they are now wider than they are tall." -Eddie Van Halen-
    Last edited by Nitro Express; 04-04-2012 at 02:20 AM.
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    Sammy Hagar jamming on his red guitar.



    In reality, Sam is balding. I always knew that mop on his head was a wig.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    "Sammy is a little red worm." -Eddie Van Halen-

    "Mike Sobowleski and Sam are playing my songs calling themselves the other half of Van Halen. Al is the other half of Van Halen. They are playing my music and selling tequila and hot sauce. Are they fat? I would say they are now wider than they are tall." -Eddie Van Halen-


    Exactly. He talked some shit about Dave over the years, but never to the extent he has of Sammy. I think after they finished that horrible tour they decided doing it with Dave would be a piece of cake.


    Yummy classic VH cake!!!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post

    In reality, Sam is balding. I always knew that mop on his head was a wig.

    Didn't even play it. But the video still shot....DAMN! I wanna toss a quarter into his belly button so bad. If I make it on the 1st try?

    EVERYBODY DRINK!

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    Oh wait....isn't that Robin Crosbys final practice?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    "Sammy is a little red worm." -Eddie Van Halen-

    "Mike Sobowleski and Sam are playing my songs calling themselves the other half of Van Halen. Al is the other half of Van Halen. They are playing my music and selling tequila and hot sauce. Are they fat? I would say they are now wider than they are tall." -Eddie Van Halen-


    The guy who painted this graffiti thinks the same, a gift from South America, the true Van Halen is back.
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    Oh wait....isn't that Robin Crosbys final practice?
    Flag on the play for unsportsman like comedy.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zing! View Post
    Damn... You know A LOT about Styx.
    I know a lot about everything. Ask around; just don't trust anything the mods tell you.
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    Quote Originally Posted by bueno bob View Post
    What happened to Styx was uncalled for, ridiculous, and extremely absurd - but it's a FUCK of a lot better than talking about Sammy Hagar.


    This is better than Mr. Roboto and talking about Hagar.
    written by DeYoung
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    Hmm....for some reason youtube vids do not show up in my browser anymore on this forum. Just a single word "advertisement". I have to go look at the page source to see the url of the vid....

    Oh well.
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    Holy shit. This has to be one of the dumbest videos ever. It's about as appealing as Cheese Wiz on a tuna sandwich.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    It's about as appealing as Cheese Wiz on a tuna sandwich.
    Isn't that what it is ??
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    Shitty video shitty song
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThrillsNSpills View Post

    This is better than Mr. Roboto and talking about Hagar.
    written by DeYoung
    That song fucking sucks...

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    While I won't bag on Hagar too much about the interview, it is ok for his standards.... that shirt is unflattering.
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    I har no use for this guy before Dave was outta Van Halen. He was like a rapper talkin shit about another rapper when it came to Dave and his music always sucked to me. He was so lucky to get the VH gig. He went up, but untortunately pulled them down......
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yount View Post
    While I won't bag on Hagar too much about the interview, it is ok for his standards.... that shirt is unflattering.
    You could dress a pig in a Tuxedo... but it's still a pig.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    Holy shit. This has to be one of the dumbest videos ever. It's about as appealing as Cheese Wiz on a tuna sandwich.
    Yes that sucked for many reasons, but even the legends pushed out some clunker videos back in the 80's & 90's (I'm not dissing the song, but the vid made it look bad by association).



    Last edited by Seshmeister; 04-06-2012 at 11:39 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by bueno bob View Post
    I know a lot about everything. Ask around; just don't trust anything the mods tell you.
    I'm starting to think your post count and midichlorian count are one and the same...
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    Quote Originally Posted by BenJammin View Post
    Yes that sucked for many reasons, but even the legends pushed out some clunker videos back in the 80's & 90's (I'm not dissing the song, but the vid made it look bad by association).


    I thought the Turbo Lover video was pretty cool compared to a lot of the other videos circa 1986. It is no Wasted Years by any stretch but it is better than most of the Ultimate Sin videos.

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    Wow.....NEVER listened to VOA before....and never again.....

    Incredible how bad Spambot has always sucked!!!
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    A double post!!!!

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    You can say that again!!
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    Oh shit, never saw or heard that VOA song/video before. Awful just like I suspected. Little Led Zep rip off on the drum intro too I see. Spammy just can't seem to ever do anything original.
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    One of the many musical gods Spammy's music has generated.


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    Sammy Hagar is a poor man's David Coverdale is a poor man's Robert Plant.

    Is Sammy singin' the blues? (Cover those ears kiddies)


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    Quote Originally Posted by Yount View Post
    Sammy Hagar is a poor man's David Coverdale is a poor man's Robert Plant.

    Is Sammy singin' the blues? (Cover those ears kiddies)

    I actually tried to give that an honest listen, but Sam has officially fucked up me listening to any blues songs now.
    Maybe I can pull up some Buddy Guy to rinse that out of my ears.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BenJammin View Post
    I actually tried to give that an honest listen, but Sam has officially fucked up me listening to any blues songs now.
    Maybe I can pull up some Buddy Guy to rinse that out of my ears.
    I'm tellin' ya get a feel for the audience response during the ending. This band sucks. Hagar really sucks (and his voice ain't that technically correct either.) There is no atmosphere and I don't need no fucking scientist to prove to me what a vibe is. Roth would never pull something as dull as this on the audience. WTF fuck is Hagar singing about anyway?

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    Butthead!
    Attached Images Attached Images

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    Holy shit. This has to be one of the dumbest videos ever. It's about as appealing as Cheese Wiz on a tuna sandwich.
    Another case of hoping the bad guys win!!!!
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  46. #1836
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    Quote Originally Posted by SNIPER View Post
    One of the many musical gods Spammy's music has generated.
    wow, Mike's put on a lot of weight during Chickenshit's downtime. or is that Mona?
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  47. #1837
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yount View Post
    Butthead!
    1985-1996.............The BLUNDER Years

  48. Thanked NIN1211 for this KICKASS post:

    Yount (04-07-2012)


  49. #1838
    someone's doormat
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    three cock box 1 comment
    Hagar: "I'd love to be abducted. I'd sit on my deck at home waiting all night long to be abducted."
    Sounds like someone's itching for an anal probing.

    * 04/05/2011 08:49 PM

    AVC: You joined Van Halen in 1985, and the first song you wrote together was “Summer Nights,” which you describe as coming together quickly during your first jam session. Was your musical connection with Van Halen instantaneous?

    SH: That’s exactly what it was. I think the previous incarnation—if I may go there, I don’t even like to go there, but Ed and Al would write the music, Mikey would play along, and Ted Templeman would go and get with Dave and coach him through melodies and phrasings. When I came in, we didn’t need Ted Templeman or anybody. I had my scat together, and my melodic sense was good, because I could pick up a guitar and I’d work it out. We went on a rocketship then. The four of us were in the studio with Donn Landee, and we wrote songs like they were just pouring out of us. We got very prolific, and it wasn’t that way before, I guess.

    AVC: You claim that a psychic predicted the date of your first concert with Van Halen—March 27, 1986—months before you even joined the band.

    SH: Yeah. His name is Marshall Lever. I’ve got goosebumps on my arms now. Now you have fucked up, Steve. Last night, Marshall Lever called my house and left a message saying, “I woke up this morning and it was you in the newspaper, saying, ‘Sammy Abducted By Aliens.’ How are those aliens treating you, my friend?” And I haven’t heard from this guy for years. Now you are talking about Marshall. Yeah, he said that I was going to start a whole new thing that was going to be—well, not exactly, he used a different word—but it was going to be what I have done all along, but that it was going to be more intense. He was in his trance mode, and he would say, “You need to just go about your business and don’t try to make any changes. Everything has to happen in its own time. But on this date, you will start a new cycle of what you have been doing on a more intense level.” And, by God, he was dead on the fucking money.

    AVC: Van Halen started doing more love songs once you joined. Were you trying to broaden the band’s audience?

    SH: What happened was, when Eddie heard my vocal range, he got inspired and started busting out keyboards. Because he would try to do it before and it wouldn’t work, because you have to sing a certain way to be a little more melodic. Dave was great with screaming over the top of a good hard riff—that’s his forte, and where his limitations were. Whereas I had more of a vocal range. If you wanted to play a keyboard song, like “Love Walks In,” I can do it. And Eddie got all inspired, and started pulling ideas that he probably had sitting around for the last few years that he still dug that he never could present, or if he did present, went nowhere. You know, everybody’s like that. I’m a songwriter. I’ve got ideas in the closet that just didn’t work out with my band, that I think, “This is a great idea, it’s just the wrong guys.” Like if I were playing with Sting and Neil Peart, this song would be great, you know what I mean?

    I’ve always been into writing love songs. I would rather sing about my love affair or about a woman or to a woman than some guys any day. I’ve had my fill of “One Way To Rock” or “I Can’t Drive 55.” Those are guy songs to me, and I’m cool with that. But when you write a great love song and you start seeing that 50 percent of your audience is beautiful women, that’s much more rewarding, my friend, than having a bunch of guys out there. Trust me. So, I always liked a good love song and, you know, I dig being in love. Love is the shit, man. When you fall in love, everything’s great. You can have all the money in the world, all the cars, and the houses—but with no love life, man, you are sitting there, you’re bummed, you’re pissed off. You go, “Man, this sucks.” You could be in the gutter and fall in love with someone, and you feel great. That’s my honest opinion. I’ve witnessed both sides of that fence and being in love is where it’s at.

    AVC: The Van Halen brothers were upset when John McCain used “Right Now” during a campaign stop in 2008. But in your view, the song was being used to “inspire” people, so you were for it.

    SH: That’s what it was written for. And they were so wrong about that, to say that they didn’t want someone to use it for their campaign. Bullshit. This is pop music. You’ve got a candidate for president of the United States using it, that’s hitting the biggest audience you’re ever going to hit in your entire friggin’ life. And you don’t want that? Bullshit. That’s what you want. It’s not even for success or fortune, it’s because that’s the power of the song. I was honored by it. You know, those guys just went against it because I was for it, because I’m a co-writer, publisher of that song, so for it to get accepted, we had to sign off on it. I signed off in a second. “You bet that anyone can use this. I don’t care. You can use it for anything.” If it is to inspire people in the positive sense, I will okay it. They just didn’t like the fact that I okayed it. Believe me, man, once they turned on me, they turned on me in every respect.

    AVC: “Don’t Tell Me” actually sounds a bit like Nirvana. Did Van Halen make a mistake by trying to sound grungy instead of like Van Halen?

    SH: I loved that song, but man, it was dark. That song did nothing for Van Halen. The record was big—we always sold 4 or 5 million records no matter what we did. But that song didn’t take us anywhere, and I know why now. It wasn’t what Van Halen fans wanted. It showed the darkness of Van Halen, and basically the end of the band.

    AVC: You’ve said that you’d like to re-join Van Halen at some point. But after writing this book, is that realistic?

    SH: I’ve really thought this over, because I know this book is going to crush any possibility real soon, but that’s okay. I don’t want to try to force anything, because I’m really happy with Chickenfoot; my new record with them is phenomenal. I think it’s better than the first one, and I think our first record was killing. When they read this book, they are going to be pissed because this happened and they don’t want me telling everybody, but I had to. I’m writing my biography. It’s my business. This is what happened in my life, and I’m writing about it. For me to leave that out wouldn’t have been fair to the fans, you know? So I put the dirt in. I talked about the good times. Even the good times are going to piss some of these guys off, because their old ladies are going to say, “You dirty punk. You were hanging around with them. I know you did it.” And that’s unfair, but, you know, I’m going to get under the bus right with you boys.

    I really think that Van Halen has two choices if they want to continue. And maybe they don’t want to continue, because they don’t seem to do much. But they have two choices: Sam or Dave. If they tried to go out and get some young kid to sing my songs, it would be a disaster. The fans are not going to buy into that. Van Halen is too big to do that. As soon as this Dave thing blows over, you know, they obviously can’t make a record with him. He is dried up or not very prolific; something’s wrong there, obviously. So I’m the only choice to make a record. And that’s the only way I would do it. We’d have to make some new music. The fans deserve it. Van Halen’s got some of the best fans on the planet.

    You just love cashing the cheques, Scammy.

  50. #1839
    "Kick his ass Seabass.."
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    "As soon as this Dave thing blows over, you know, they obviously can’t make a record with him. He is dried up or not very prolific; something’s wrong there, obviously. So I’m the only choice to make a record. And that’s the only way I would do it. We’d have to make some new music. The fans deserve it. Van Halen’s got some of the best fans on the planet."

    Back and to the left....
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  51. #1840
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    Man! I can't wait until Sammy finally dies from obscurity. He's almost there now.
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