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Thread: "The Ched Chunkhead Opens His Insufferable Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" Thread

  1. #1921
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    Damn - not enough time to edit that. For the record, I SAW Dave in 2001 - I did not SAVE Dave in 2001.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zing! View Post
    Damn - not enough time to edit that. For the record, I SAW Dave in 2001 - I did not SAVE Dave in 2001.
    First, there was Rescued By Roth. Then, there was Roth Rescued By Zing!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    Only Sam would make sea salt for human consumption from sea water off shore in a country that dumps raw sewage into the ocean. I remember floating out in the ocean in Mexico. The sun is going down, it's a beautiful sunset and I start to smell something sour. I find I'm floating in raw sewage! I bee line it for the hotel and take the longest shower I ever took in my life. A walk down the beach the next morning confirmed the problem. Garbage and sewage was rushing down every creek flowing into the ocean.

    San Diego actually financed and built Tijuana a sewer treatment plant because their sewage was floating north and contaminating San Diego's beaches.

    Sam makes his salt for his margaritas out of that water. Who knows what's in that bottle of tequila he's constantly knocking on the window trying to sell you.
    I thought the same thing when I saw the picture... one can only hope he consumes a lot of rita's with his Cabo Sewer Salt on-board...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zing! View Post
    Damn - not enough time to edit that. For the record, I SAW Dave in 2001 - I did not SAVE Dave in 2001.
    Donīt worry Zing.
    It is more important you try to find the pics of Dave in the banana yellow jumpsuit !! Could you, please?
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    Quote Originally Posted by DLR Bridge View Post
    First, there was Rescued By Roth. Then, there was Roth Rescued By Zing!
    That's not to say I wouldn't save Dave if he were in need of rescue. Sammy, on the other hand, better hope he's surrounded by Ched Heads when his greasy black heart finally bursts...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zing! View Post
    That's not to say I wouldn't save Dave if he were in need of rescue. Sammy, on the other hand, better hope he's surrounded by Ched Heads when his greasy black heart finally bursts...





    Here is the "Other Half"
    Last edited by NIN1211; 04-20-2012 at 08:45 PM.
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    Post photos Zing!
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    Dave photos!

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    Heh heh... all right , all right... I'll get off my lazy duff and dig through my box o' pics (which isn't a desktop folder - it's literally a shoebox full of pictures). You might be disappointed, though - Dave is only about an inch tall in the pics. He was a last minute addition for that show - it was supposed to be Poison, but they canceled. My wife called me at work the day before the show and said: "You're never going to believe who is replacing Poison at the State Fair!" Needless to say, we were lucky to get tickets - so we were pretty much nosebleed...

    P.S. To clarify: Dave was dressed in bright yellow duds. He was NOT dressed as a giant banana. I'm pretty sure I've seen pics of him in this outfit around here somewhere. I think he may have worn it a time or two when he was wiping the floor nightly with Haggar.
    Last edited by Zing!; 04-21-2012 at 09:39 AM.

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    Does anybody else have pics? I believe it I just want to SEE IT!! Close up. Surely some shots were taken.

    Hagar your mouth moves much faster than your latest album.
    Last edited by Yount; 04-21-2012 at 09:34 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zing! View Post
    YES! Just how it happened when I save Double D at the Minnesota State Fair in 2001. Dave rocking out to Jump in a banana yellow jumpsuit - doing the splits off the drum riser as a half a million worth of fireworks goes off overhead. Still the best version of Jump I've witnessed. Dave closed out the week of festivities - everyone was jazzed about that show as we filed out, and the grandstand there seats a helluva lot of people - and it was PACKED! I've got pics somewhere, might have to see if I can dig them up.
    Saw Dave in the same suit at Bumbershoot 2001, week before 9-11. Twenty-five thousand people packed in the outdoor stadium behind the Space Needle. Awesome show. I've got a cassette bootleg of it somewhere. He did the middle of Panama talking to the chick I was with... "you wanna reach down between big daddy's legs.... lose the dresss, keep the shoes..." Great show, good times!
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    Quote Originally Posted by slimdon View Post
    Saw Dave in the same suit at Bumbershoot 2001, week before 9-11. Twenty-five thousand people packed in the outdoor stadium behind the Space Needle. Awesome show. I've got a cassette bootleg of it somewhere. He did the middle of Panama talking to the chick I was with... "you wanna reach down between big daddy's legs.... lose the dresss, keep the shoes..." Great show, good times!
    You do?!? I was there too! I didn't know a bootleg existed. Share that thing, man!
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    This show was at 25 August 2001 ( 'Rock Tone'), got it somewhere as double-cd(r), there's only 1 show on DVD from this tour!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by rocking ron View Post
    This show was at 25 August 2001 ( 'Rock Tone'), got it somewhere as double-cd(r), there's only 1 show on DVD from this tour!!
    Would LOVE to hear that! I remember the show I saw a a couple of weeks after yours at the state fair, there was a smokin' hot sign language interpreter on a little catwalk on the side of the stage. Dave took notice of her immediately and made his way out there several times throughout the show - talking dirty and really laying it on thick. Crowd ate it up. "Hey hot stuff, what's the sign for your place?"

    P.S. Since this IS the Ched Chunker thread.... screw Spammy Haggar and his book, too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zing! View Post
    Would LOVE to hear that! I remember the show I saw a a couple of weeks after yours at the state fair, there was a smokin' hot sign language interpreter on a little catwalk on the side of the stage. Dave took notice of her immediately and made his way out there several times throughout the show - talking dirty and really laying it on thick. Crowd ate it up. "Hey hot stuff, what's the sign for your place?"

    P.S. Since this IS the Ched Chunker thread.... screw Spammy Haggar and his book, too.
    BTW...fatso was all for comparism, wasn't he? on may 5th chickenpoop will play some 750 seater in lake tahoe...while =VH= will play to a sold out tacoma dome with a capacity of 23.000...but we all know...sam also sold more records than dave ...
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    Who are a few of Sammy's musical influences? I think I remember him mentioning Elvis. Any others? Come on... who's read the autobiography? Own up.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Yount View Post
    Who are a few of Sammy's musical influences? I think I remember him mentioning Elvis. Any others? Come on... who's read the autobiography? Own up.
    Haven't held my brain cells hostage by reading the book, but for what it's worth, I think I remember Haggar saying once in an interview that James Brown and Mick Jagger were influences.

    Too bad they didn't influence him to sing good.

  21. #1938
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    Quote Originally Posted by DavidLeeNatra View Post
    BTW...fatso was all for comparism, wasn't he? on may 5th chickenpoop will play some 750 seater in lake tahoe...while =VH= will play to a sold out tacoma dome with a capacity of 23.000...but we all know...sam also sold more records than dave ...
    Well, I think Sammy would respond by saying that Chickenfoot are just far more selective with their audiences than Van Halen are...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terry View Post
    Well, I think Sammy would respond by saying that Chickenfoot are just far more selective with their audiences than Van Halen are...
    Ladies and Gentlemen.....I give you the Mighty Chickenfeces



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    Quote Originally Posted by Terry View Post
    Well, I think Sammy would respond by saying that Chickenfoot are just far more selective with their audiences than Van Halen are...

    And he'd be lying...
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    Quote Originally Posted by NIN1211 View Post



    Here is the "Other Half"
    What the fuck.... ?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yount View Post
    Who are a few of Sammy's musical influences? I think I remember him mentioning Elvis. Any others? Come on... who's read the autobiography? Own up.

    Well he did cover Good Rocking Tonight. However the Michael Schenker version blows the rest away. Nothing against Ronnie Montrose.
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    Quote Originally Posted by NIN1211 View Post


    Here is the "Other Half"
    Is this foto legit???

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    Unfortunately yes.....the irony is he could cut out the middle man and simply flush his "shit" down the toilet!

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    Quote Originally Posted by NIN1211 View Post
    Poor Sam, sitting on a toilet, wearing a cheap booze t-shirt with a stack of his shitty books....betcha 100 bucks he's signing Dave's autograph in them..."To Sammy, You're the greatest! Love, Dave"
    Last edited by DONNIEP; 04-23-2012 at 07:33 PM.
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    Apparently what Sammy is trying to tell us with that picture is that his books are appropriate for reading while you're taking an OU812. And if you run out of toilet paper, just rip out a couple of pages.
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    i remember reading that people used to use the Sears catalog as TP. maybe that's what the books are for?
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    Quote Originally Posted by twonabomber View Post
    i remember reading that people used to use the Sears catalog as TP. maybe that's what the books are for?
    Spam's fictional book is basically a catalog to sell his shit: shit rum,shit salty salt, shit music, shitty lies, shit sales statistics. Instead of using that toilet paper to wipe his ass, it should be used to wipe his book.......because it is full of shit.



    This picture is much more appropriate.
    Last edited by NIN1211; 04-23-2012 at 08:03 PM.

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    how can one let a pic like this slip on the internet?

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    Quote Originally Posted by NIN1211 View Post
    Mikey to Sam's wife, "Holy shit! Is he dead???"

    Sam's wife, "No, he's drunk again. He's been on the internet all day, watching those damn Van Halen concert videos...screaming about all those "terrorists" that hate him on that one site..."

    Mikey, "You let him go to the Roth Army again???"

    Sam's wife, "Yeah, and he's been running around all evening, saying that he's David Lee Roth, and screaming something about lighting up the sky..."

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    Top 3 reasons Sammy is in the shitter here:

    1. Lost his "Balance."
    2. Ate too much Rock Candy.
    3. Won't come out until he sells 5,150 copies.

    Honorable mention:

    Hiding from weight watchers.
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    I wonder just how much time Sam spends on that shitter, seein' as how his career is in there somewhere...

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    so this might be his "Elvis" influence...the king died on his very own throwne in his bathroom with a book in his hands...

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    Quote Originally Posted by DavidLeeNatra View Post
    so this might be his "Elvis" influence...the king died on his very own throwne in his bathroom with a book in his hands...
    Sammy's so fucked up looking in this photo. It just makes me smile every time I look at it. I only wish that the real caption was, "Sammy Hagar, 67, died today in some shitty hotel bathroom in Cabo San Lucas. According to eyewitnesses his last act was to scribble in one of his shitty books, "I hate that goddamn Roth Army!!!"

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    talking about fotos...some pics on this site scream "caption this!!!"

    http://www.ormurray.com/sammy.htm

    and yes...I am a no good bastard...

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    Quote Originally Posted by DavidLeeNatra View Post
    talking about fotos...some pics on this site scream "caption this!!!"

    http://www.ormurray.com/sammy.htm

    and yes...I am a no good bastard...
    Yep, you are a no good bastard

    Sammy can keep the VH Franken-stripes in his shithole until hell freezes over...But he ain't never, ever gonna be a part of Van Halen again!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by NIN1211 View Post
    Ha fucking HA!!! Sammy's sitting on a toilet and Van Fucking Halen is selling out arenas!!!! Ha ha ha YOU FUCKING BITCH!!! You drunk ass motherfucker! You know your wife took that picture. Either her or Mikey. You should use that as the photo on your resume when this tour is over...You know, after Ed and Al get this whole "Dave thing" out of their system. You fucking whore...

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    Quote Originally Posted by DavidLeeNatra View Post
    talking about fotos...some pics on this site scream "caption this!!!"

    http://www.ormurray.com/sammy.htm

    and yes...I am a no good bastard...

    The girl traveled to Cabo Wabo just to see him again and she couldnīt!!! And he was there!!

    " We understand that Sammy was in town during our visit but we were unable to actually have Robyn meet him again. "


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    Quote Originally Posted by NIN1211 View Post
    The mayor of Cabo San Lucas was quoted as saying, "At least we returned Sam to his home this time before things got out of hand. The last time this happened he was running aroung the town naked, wearing only a bedsheet from the 5150 tour that said Dave sucked. Thank God we were able to contain the situation." The mayor was then overheard saying, "somebody please call this Eddie guy and beg him to take this douchebag back before I have to kill him..."
    Last edited by DONNIEP; 04-24-2012 at 04:27 AM.

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