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Thread: "The Ched Chunkhead Opens His Insufferable Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" Thread

  1. #161
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    Quote Originally Posted by guwapo_rocker View Post
    What doesn't??
    I know the punchline is 'Nuno's black nail polish' but I don't seem to be able to come up with the feed...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seshmeister View Post
    Ooops...



    SUBJECT: Your review of Red: My Uncensored Life in Rock could not be posted to Amazon.com

    Dear Sesh,

    Thanks for submitting a customer review on Amazon. Your review could not be posted to the website in its current form. While we appreciate your time and comments, reviews must adhere to the following guidelines:

    http://www.amazon.com/review-guidelines
    We encourage you to revise your review and submit it again. A few common issues to keep in mind:



    • Written reviews must be at least 20 words long. The ideal length is 75 to 500 words.
    • Your review should focus on specific features of the product and your experience with it. Feedback on the seller or your shipment experience should be provided at www.amazon.com/feedback.
    • We do not allow profane or obscene content. This applies to adult products too.
    hahahahaha Go get em Sesh.
    Sammy Hagar: My uncensored Lies in Rock.
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    Quote Originally Posted by KoolKamper View Post
    No one here bought Van Halen records when Hagar was in the band?
    The only VH I bought during that dark era were CD releases of the original Classic VH Sixpack that I'd originally bought on vinyl.

    I bought NOTHING with Hagar (or Cherone).
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    Quote Originally Posted by ELVIS View Post


    "Your Love Is Driving Me Crazy!"


    Arrested for stalking?

  5. #165
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    arrested for impersonating a lyricist.
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  6. #166
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    Quote Originally Posted by GreenEyedMurder View Post
    The only VH I bought during that dark era were CD releases of the original Classic VH Sixpack that I'd originally bought on vinyl.

    I bought NOTHING with Hagar (or Cherone).
    I bought 5150 when it came out.

    I knew the second I heard 'Helllooo Baby' something really terrible had happened.

    I get a cold shiver down my spine just thinking about it.

  7. #167
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    Quote Originally Posted by twonabomber View Post
    arrested for impersonating a lyricist.
    Or a syphilitic banana.

  8. #168
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seshmeister View Post
    From the sleeve of Hagar's book.

    "“Sammy’s no bullsh*tter. If Sammy says it happened, it did. There's nobody else anywhere like him." (Michael Anthony )"
    Oh, bass player, why??? He's half right..
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  9. #169
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    It's like writing 'Dear Mr Van Halen, I never ever want to be back in your band even if your son leaves!'

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    Let's just face the facts Sammy. You are jealous. Yeah you have a self proclaimed super group that can't sell out MSG in 5 hours. In 5 years for that matter. I understand your frustration. We all really do.

    You know what? Get over yourself pal. You are old news. Why everyone continues to ask your opinion on anything that has to do with Van Halen is just ridiculous. I wouldn't answer anymore questions about Van Halen if I were you because you don't matter and we don't care. :dafinger:
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  11. #171
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    Actually it's just occurred to me Hagar could have made up that quote from Michael Anthony.

    This constant lying thing gets confusing.

  12. #172
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    In other news, Porn industry mulls leaving LA if condoms required....
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    He's a calculated businessman who knows if you tell a lie long enough people are going to accept it.
    We've seen this with Ed Trunk. Problem is the guy in tuna fish Wyoming is gonna believe everything in the book . How many people check album sales stats, you know? Can't blame them in a way, but in another way they should realize that no person is a perfect filter. It's like the old sitcom plot where you have 3 different characters give you a different scenario on a certain segment in time, and it's all slanted.


    the good thing here is that at least Sams fans are picking up on it.

  14. #174
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seshmeister View Post
    Actually it's just occurred to me Hagar could have made up that quote from Michael Anthony.

    This constant lying thing gets confusing.
    I'm just about 99% sure he made that up too..

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    lol. I wonder how any idiots across the nation will wear a Van Hagar shirt on a Chicknfoot shirt to a Van Halen concert?

  16. #176
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jagermeister View Post
    lol. I wonder how any idiots across the nation will wear a Van Hagar shirt on a Chicknfoot shirt to a Van Halen concert?
    It would be even more ironic if the Chickenfood logo was a bulls-eye.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Seshmeister View Post
    I bought 5150 when it came out.

    .

    Same. The tour had 2 sold out nights at the San Diego Sports Arena. Funny, but thinking about that time, 1984 was still in EVERYONES cassette player in their car and the videos for Jump, Panama & Hot For Teacher were still on MTV non-stop. Van Halen with Dave could have toured in 1986 without releasing a new album and just called it an extra leg of the 1984 tour. Still would have sold out city after city.
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  18. #178
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    Quote Originally Posted by POJO_Risin View Post
    Seriously...imagine that shit...

    Chickenfoot opening for Van Halen...honest to god...I would pay TRIPLE to watch the fucking carnage...
    It would be plastic beer bottle night that's for sure!!
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  19. #179
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    Same. The tour had 2 sold out nights at the San Diego Sports Arena. Funny, but thinking about that time, 1984 was still in EVERYONES cassette player in their car and the videos for Jump, Panama & Hot For Teacher were still on MTV non-stop. Van Halen with Dave could have toured in 1986 without releasing a new album and just called it an extra leg of the 1984 tour. Still would have sold out city after city.
    But the same show didn't sell out here. In fact, it was mentioned in a newspaper review at the time the band played the Sportatorium here on that first tour (No, I did not attend) that someone had made up a banner that said "Would have sold out for Dave!"

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    I can't believe you people are talking about 5150.

  21. #181
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seshmeister View Post
    Since we are going to have one place for the Hagar bullshit I'd like to quote this excellent post by Adam at the VHND website.

    http://www.vhnd.com/2011/04/26/qa-wi...r-joel-selvin/

    This stuff should be etched in stone and placed in the RA Hall of Fame


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  23. #182
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heater View Post
    I'm an idiot
    WOW. shocking!
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    Dave:


    Spam-bot:
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  26. #184
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roth & Roll View Post
    Dave:


    Spam-bot:
    his next song will be about shopping at home depot and bying a kitchen sink in time for breakfast....
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roth & Roll View Post
    Dave:


    Spam-bot:
    Possibly one of the greatest posts ever....
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    Hey, Dave wouldn't be against writing on a McDonalds wrapper

    Can't find the iconic pic, but the best one ever in my book was Eddie and Dave walking back with cheeseburgers from Mickey D's.

  29. #187
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    "There goes Sammy bangin' on the door with a bottle of Tequila in one hand and his dick in the other." - Diamond Dave

    I missed that infamous Sam & Dave tour, the one in which Dave packed the amphitheaters, while most of the audience evacuated the area once Hagar hit the stage?

    Can't believed I missed that PWNAGE! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!
    Last edited by BITEYOASS; 01-18-2012 at 08:46 PM.
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  30. #188
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unchainme View Post
    Hey, Dave wouldn't be against writing on a McDonalds wrapper

    Can't find the iconic pic, but the best one ever in my book was Eddie and Dave walking back with cheeseburgers from Mickey D's.

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  32. #189
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unchainme View Post
    Hey, Dave wouldn't be against writing on a McDonalds wrapper

    Can't find the iconic pic, but the best one ever in my book was Eddie and Dave walking back with cheeseburgers from Mickey D's.
    Of course Dave & Ed ate McDonald's because that's all they could afford during the first tour. Spamster eats McDonald's because that's all he pigs out on.

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  34. #190
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    Hell, Dave still eats that shit.....there's a B&W photo of him peaking into a Mickey D's bag on the last tour.......

    The difference is....Dave knows when to say when
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  35. #191
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    Quote Originally Posted by kwame k View Post
    Hell, Dave still eats that shit.....there's a B&W photo of him peaking into a Mickey D's bag on the last tour.......

    The difference is....Dave knows when to say when
    Reliving old times I guess.

  36. #192
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    Quote Originally Posted by BITEYOASS View Post
    "There goes Sammy bangin' on the door with a bottle of Tequila in one hand and his dick in the other." - Diamond Dave

    I missed that infamous Sam & Dave tour, but didn't Dave pack the amphitheaters while most of the audience evacuated the area once Hagar hit the stage?

    Can't believed I missed that PWNAGE! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!
    Man, you missed a great show! Dave opened up here in Charlotte and it was fucking ON from the time he hit the stage until he walked off! I split after Dave's set. Jesus, I still remember that hangover!
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    Quote Originally Posted by BITEYOASS View Post
    Reliving old times I guess.
    Keeping him humble, bro!

  38. #194
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    I've said this before here over the years, but I have never owned a Van Hagar album, cd, cassette etc. I have never owned anything with Sammy on it other than the 1996 greatest hits because of MWM and CGTSNM. I have not even heard about 75% of the Van Hagar material. I have not heard a single track on VHIII. Why, I can't stand Bette and I was so pissed at VH after the 1996 debacle that Cherone never stood a chance. I don't want to hear anything Van Halen except Dave because anything else aint Van Halen PERIOD!
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  40. #195
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    Quote Originally Posted by DONNIEP View Post
    Man, you missed a great show! Dave opened up here in Charlotte and it was fucking ON from the time he hit the stage until he walked off! I split after Dave's set. Jesus, I still remember that hangover!
    Although I did see Diamond Dave play in Vegas back in July of 2001. The best part was when some asshole threw a bottle on the stage and Dave telling him a message from his girlfriend.

  41. #196
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    Quote Originally Posted by BITEYOASS View Post
    Of course Dave & Ed ate McDonald's because that's all they could afford during the first tour. Spamster eats McDonald's because that's all he pigs out on.
    At least you know what you are getting when you are abroad with McD's which is why they are popular with touring bands.

    The best McDonalds I ever had was in Egypt after a week of goat stew.

    Since Sammy rarely leaves the US/Mexico he has less excuse.

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  43. #197
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    Quote Originally Posted by BITEYOASS View Post
    Although I did see Diamond Dave play in Vegas back in July of 2001. The best part was when some asshole threw a bottle on the stage and Dave telling him a message from his girlfriend.
    The year after the Dave and Dipshit tour Dave came back to town and put on a KILLER free show at Speed Street.

    The picture below isn't mine - concertshots.com


  44. #198
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    As has been said many, many times, "The most interesting thing about Sammy Hagar is David Lee Roth!"
    Hey Jackass! You need to [Register] or log in to view signatures on ROTHARMY.COM!

  45. #199
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    Quote Originally Posted by guwapo_rocker View Post
    God I miss those old school STYROFOAM™©® burger containers!!!! Fucking environmentalists!!!!!

    That is all.

    Icon™©®
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  47. #200
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    The local rock radio station, as do most, was having a "giveaway" this morning

    Free tickets to Sammie Hagar's Cabo wabo Cantina...

    I just groaned and changed the channel....
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