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Thread: "The Ched Chunkhead Opens His Insufferable Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" Thread

  1. #2121
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terry View Post
    It really is just a lack of class on Hagar's part...
    It's almost as if Hagar has no real confidence in the staying power of the band he is currently in, and is laying the groundwork for another potential tour with Van Halen in the future.
    The thing is, taken from even a casual observer's standpoint, the guy's routine is highly objectionable. It's like some shit-fer-brains walking into a bar hand in hand with his spouse and immediately stirring up a confrontational/uncomfortable vibe by introducing the woman as his "current" wife, leaving everyone (particularly his wife) feeling not only awkward, but downright embarrassed by his bullshit. To make things worse, he orders up a round of shots for everyone in order to ingratiate himself, only to ask that the bill be attached to his wife's credit card.

    You end up wanting to play Whack-A-Mole on his forehead with the blunt end of a beer bottle or two, consoling the wife and at evening's end, key-jobbing the living shit out of the asshole's Trans-Am while urinating through the driver's side window.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carmine View Post
    This should make you all smile...I was in Atlantic City all week...left yesterday afternoon about 3:30...Chickenfoot played last night at the House of Blues there...so, yesterday afternoon, I stopped in there and asked how many tickets had been sold for the show so far...


    Answer: "About 500"


    you may now commence with the laughter...
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  3. #2123
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    The thing is, taken from even a casual observer's standpoint, the guy's routine is highly objectionable. It's like some shit-fer-brains walking into a bar hand in hand with his spouse and immediately stirring up a confrontational/uncomfortable vibe by introducing the woman as his "current" wife, leaving everyone (particularly his wife) feeling not only awkward, but downright embarrassed by his bullshit. To make things worse, he orders up a round of shots for everyone in order to ingratiate himself, only to ask that the bill be attached to his wife's credit card.

    You end up wanting to play Whack-A-Mole on his forehead with the blunt end of a beer bottle or two, consoling the wife and at evening's end, key-jobbing the living shit out of the asshole's Trans-Am while urinating through the driver's side window.

    this should pop up when you ask about sammy hagar in wikipedia!
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    The thing is, taken from even a casual observer's standpoint, the guy's routine is highly objectionable. It's like some shit-fer-brains walking into a bar hand in hand with his spouse and immediately stirring up a confrontational/uncomfortable vibe by introducing the woman as his "current" wife, leaving everyone (particularly his wife) feeling not only awkward, but downright embarrassed by his bullshit. To make things worse, he orders up a round of shots for everyone in order to ingratiate himself, only to ask that the bill be attached to his wife's credit card.

    You end up wanting to play Whack-A-Mole on his forehead with the blunt end of a beer bottle or two, consoling the wife and at evening's end, key-jobbing the living shit out of the asshole's Trans-Am while urinating through the driver's side window.



    LOL...love the Chuck E. Cheese metaphors..,man for man I would take Chuck's band over Chickenprostethic


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    Quote Originally Posted by NIN1211 View Post
    LOL...love the Chuck E. Cheese metaphors..,man for man I would take Chuck's band over Chickenprostethic
    Here we have Chickenfood rocking the house during this week's performance at a pizza parlor located in a local strip mall...


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    I like Joe Satriani, so I don't want to ridicule Chickenfoot. But Sammy is acting really childish.
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    I love Joe. As a solo artist. His (as well as MA and Chad or whoever-the-F-is playing drums this week) talent is wasted on Spamulus.
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    Although the image is pretty much beyond description, feel free to caption this...


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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    The thing is, taken from even a casual observer's standpoint, the guy's routine is highly objectionable. It's like some shit-fer-brains walking into a bar hand in hand with his spouse and immediately stirring up a confrontational/uncomfortable vibe by introducing the woman as his "current" wife, leaving everyone (particularly his wife) feeling not only awkward, but downright embarrassed by his bullshit. To make things worse, he orders up a round of shots for everyone in order to ingratiate himself, only to ask that the bill be attached to his wife's credit card.

    You end up wanting to play Whack-A-Mole on his forehead with the blunt end of a beer bottle or two, consoling the wife and at evening's end, key-jobbing the living shit out of the asshole's Trans-Am while urinating through the driver's side window.
    Funny... I believe I've met that guy and his wife in about 20 different bars in 6 different states over the last 25 years...
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    Quote Originally Posted by loucap81 View Post
    A lot of people at the Links are criticizing Hagar's latest comments and are as profane if not moreso than people here about him. You know it's bad when even people at that site are tired of him.

    As far as the tequila thing, how does the story go...that he got Ed and Al to invest money into his business in the late '80s, it tanked at first, Hagar bought them out for a fraction of what they invested, and then not long afterwards the business took off? I don't know how you can trust someone like that.
    I think he sold it for a fuckload of dollar$ actually a few years back...

    Fuck Cabo, give me Don Julio...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nickdfresh View Post
    I think he sold it for a fuckload of dollar$ actually a few years back...

    Fuck Cabo, give me Don Julio...

    80% interest for $80 million....or that was the rumors. Disgusting amount of money for someone who charges 312 people a night $50 to dish them out crap for 2 hours.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jhale667 View Post
    I love Joe. As a solo artist. His (as well as MA and Chad or whoever-the-F-is playing drums this week) talent is wasted on Spamulus.
    I've seen him about 4 or 5 times in small clubs. Smokin! Can't listen to any of this stuff though
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    Quote Originally Posted by Romeo Delight View Post
    I've seen him about 4 or 5 times in small clubs. Smokin! Can't listen to any of this stuff though
    I've seen him several times, met the guy...totally nice, so can't bag on HIM...but holy crap, Sammy has the reverse-Midas touch...

  18. #2134
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    Seriously, I bet MA is hating life right now...what he coulda been doing now instead
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    Quote Originally Posted by jhale667 View Post
    i've seen him several times, met the guy...totally nice, so can't bag on him...but holy crap, sammy has the reverse-midas touch...
    lmfao

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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    The thing is, taken from even a casual observer's standpoint, the guy's routine is highly objectionable. It's like some shit-fer-brains walking into a bar hand in hand with his spouse and immediately stirring up a confrontational/uncomfortable vibe by introducing the woman as his "current" wife, leaving everyone (particularly his wife) feeling not only awkward, but downright embarrassed by his bullshit. To make things worse, he orders up a round of shots for everyone in order to ingratiate himself, only to ask that the bill be attached to his wife's credit card.

    You end up wanting to play Whack-A-Mole on his forehead with the blunt end of a beer bottle or two, consoling the wife and at evening's end, key-jobbing the living shit out of the asshole's Trans-Am while urinating through the driver's side window.
    That scenario is WAY too detailed to be entirely from your imagination.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Yount View Post
    Hagar: "Hey, I still hate the way the treated Mikey, but the kid is the real deal. He dealt with Dave like i've never thought anyone could and played his ass off. If he can make Dave sound that good and Ed is healthy, you never know"..

    Why is every compliment from Sammy backhanded?

    Insecure bastard.
    Can't blame him. Van Halen plays 2 sold out shows at Madison Square Garden, while Chickenfoot's one NYC gig is at the Beacon Theatre -- ~20,000 seats vs ~2800 seats. A quick look at CF's tour sked for May & June shows mostly small venues.

    Hagar should just give it up and go make another Sex And The City sequel.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yount View Post
    Hagar:
    … for him to be thrown out of Van Halen is the biggest joke ever. To me, I can’t even respect that band anymore. Come on. Throw me out, yeah, sure, I’m unreasonable sometimes, but Mikey? He never even argues with you! Mike’s the first guy there, he knows his parts, and he’s the last guy to leave. He’s the most dedicated band member I’ve ever worked with in my life, and the most consistent.

    Like I said, first guy there, has his shit together, never, ever says “I forgot my part”… he’s like a machine, and he’s fun and he’s soulful. Why you wouldn’t want him in a band, man, I don’t know.

    Van Halen’s loss is Chickenfoot’s gain I’d say.

    (Laughs) Oh yeah – I said that Chickenfoot didn’t want to be an opening act for another band, unless it was on a festival, but if we got the opportunity, I’d open for Van Halen! (laughs) Any day… I’d do it for free, I’d pay the whole tour out of my own pocket!
    Opening for VH would be pretty much the only way for CF to stop playing shopping malls.

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    Even the famouse Beacon Theater is too good for Hagar. It's a shame that classic architecture is soiled by his cheese and smell.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fairwrning View Post
    Hagar needs to learn two words.." no comment"...You don't have to answer every single VH question you are asked...of course,that would pretty much give him nothing to talk about.
    He's savvy enough to know that the media are only interested in him when he goes off on VH.

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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    Although the image is pretty much beyond description, feel free to caption this...

    Mike looks like he belongs in a gay biker bar and Sam looks like the guy at the gay bar that can't even get a date while offeing free tequila and drugs.

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    Quote Originally Posted by twonabomber View Post
    found this on the HOB site, about the AC club:



    not even half full!

    hell, that would barely half full at the Cleveland HOB, it holds 1,200!
    Less than half? Try less than 25%!

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    How do you guys think Mike Anthony feels about Spammy drooling at the (remote) possibility of replacing Dave in VH? No way would Eddie can Wolfie to bring back Mike, so Spammy is salivating at the dream of abandoning his bestest pal.

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  31. #2144
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    I try to stay away from Spammy but saw a recent video posted up from one of his current shows with the pre show babble between the group members. And of all the bands I have ever seen, I have never seen a band self qualify themselves to such a large extent with the words great and awesome before anything they post (as to give their fans direction on how they should feel) and never seen a band TRY so damn hard to qualify the fun they are having with ill fated attempts of being funny or their casting of self importance on themselves. They should not worry about Van Halen releasing another LP, Chickenpoop needs to worry if they will ever be able to do another album and if they do...they should name it "Insecurity"
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jetstream View Post
    I try to stay away from Spammy but saw a recent video posted up from one of his current shows with the pre show babble between the group members. And of all the bands I have ever seen, I have never seen a band self qualify themselves to such a large extent with the words great and awesome before anything they post (as to give their fans direction on how they should feel) and never seen a band TRY so damn hard to qualify the fun they are having with ill fated attempts of being funny or their casting of self importance on themselves. They should not worry about Van Halen releasing another LP, Chickenpoop needs to worry if they will ever be able to do another album and if they do...they should name it "Insecurity"
    HAHA!

    Sammy pulled that shit in VH too. Right from the get go. Remember the song "Inside" about how much fun they were having together? Or what about "Bocephus Mode"? Silly. Don't sell us that YOU'RE having fun.....make US have fun! I don't wanna listen to music & think man, these 4 guys are having so much fun. I wanna listen to music thinking about all the fun I'm having.

    Diamond Dave delivers.

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  35. #2146
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadaist View Post
    Diamond Dave delivers.
    Dave: "Satisfyin' you is the thing that gets me off, heyyyyy!"
    Last edited by Yount; 05-21-2012 at 08:28 AM. Reason: * ain't that a nice little hidden gem from his greatest hits!
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    Who is Chickenfoot? Never heard of em......
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    Why does a Sammy Clichegar thread have over 2100 replies, and WHY THE FUCK IS IT IN MAIN?


    Mods, get off your lazy fucking asses and do something!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Von Halen View Post
    Why does a Sammy Clichegar thread have over 2100 replies, and WHY THE FUCK IS IT IN MAIN?
    That's a damn good question, and one I've been asking myself for a long time.
    I'm still trying to understand the whole "We hate him so much that we can't stop talking about him" mentality.
    54 goddamn pages dedicated to a motherfucking loser, in the flagship forum of a Roth site. It's a spit in the face to Dave fans everywhere.
    It should be thrown in the Dump and mercyflushed. It's disgraceful.

    that's just my 2 cents.........
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  41. Thanked hambon4lif for this KICKASS post:

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  42. #2151
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    Got to agree... shitbag doesn't deserve the effort or recognition in main...

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    yep, i'm for the flush.
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    I totally agree
    Flush this thread
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    And flushed it was! DIE HAGAR DIE!!

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    Thank you.

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    (----Last Turd in the toilet bowl!



    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaDzkyplitE
    Last edited by SunisinuS; 05-22-2012 at 02:53 AM. Reason: Last!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yount View Post
    Was that intended by Ed to be a bait reference?
    It was in the infamous Stern interview where Ed spoke about treating his own cancer.

    It was a reference to Hagar being a Tequila salesman - the little red worm is at the bottom of the empty Tequila bottle. Everybody thought Ed was dialung in from Outer Space in that interview, but to me he was sharp and funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by hambon4lif View Post
    I'm still trying to understand the whole "We hate him so much that we can't stop talking about him" mentality.
    54 goddamn pages dedicated to a motherfucking loser, in the flagship forum of a Roth site. It's a spit in the face to Dave fans everywhere.
    Cheer up bloke.
    Haven't we had this conversation before? Know thy enemy?
    Yeah it's obvious that VH are ignoring Hagar and band in the press and anywhere else. Doesn't mean we all should. Someone's gotta do the research and reading of Sammy interviews and enlighten the fence-sitters or we'd all still be believing that Van Hagar outsold CVH 2/1 or (insert any other little white lie here.) Of course I'm joking but I don't exactly see this almost 55! page long thread as doing Hagar any favors.

    It's all good fun.

    Lighten up champ, here have a drink and throw a dart at Hagar. This thread is way more interesting than Dave eating a salad or Dave's parkinsons disease or Al's wife is a bitch in first class thread. Admit it. There's LOL posts all through these pages.

    Live on "The Ched Chunker Opens His Idiotic Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" thread!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Yount View Post
    Cheer up bloke.
    Haven't we had this conversation before? Know thy enemy?
    Yeah it's obvious that VH are ignoring Hagar and band in the press and anywhere else. Doesn't mean we all should. Someone's gotta do the research and reading of Sammy interviews and enlighten the fence-sitters or we'd all still be believing that Van Hagar outsold CVH 2/1 or (insert any other little white lie here.) Of course I'm joking but I don't exactly see this almost 55! page long thread as doing Hagar any favors.

    It's all good fun.

    Lighten up champ, here have a drink and throw a dart at Hagar. This thread is way more interesting than Dave eating a salad or Dave's parkinsons disease or Al's wife is a bitch in first class thread. Admit it. There's LOL posts all through these pages.

    Live on "The Ched Chunker Opens His Idiotic Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" thread!
    Some of my best work has been done here....It's fun tearing this clown up.

  54. #2160
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    Quote Originally Posted by Von Halen View Post
    Why does a Sammy Clichegar thread have over 2100 replies, and WHY THE FUCK IS IT IN MAIN?


    Mods, get off your lazy fucking asses and do something!
    I don't care that it got dumped, but just an FYI for everyone....

    Sarge put out instructions for us several months ago that he wanted us to refrain from "dumping" threads, including Hagar ones in Main specifically....
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