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Thread: "The Ched Chunkhead Opens His Insufferable Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" Thread

  1. #2201
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nickdfresh View Post
    Sammy Hagar should be placed in a giant paper bag, doused with lighter fluid, placed on someone's porch so he could be mashed all over someone's foot...


    "Call the Fire Department, this one's out of control!"
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    Sammy Hagar Says Eddie Van Halen Owes Him An Apology

    To say things between Van Halen and former members Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony are strained is maybe a bit of an understatement. But despite the tensions there still a lot of love there for what the current Chickenfoot members did with their former band.

    Hagar tells Vegas Rocks! in a new video interview that he’s still disappointed that the friendship with his former bandmates has concluded. He explains, “I could get along with Alex. I got along at one time with Eddie amazingly. Obviously Mike and I are dearest friends on the planet, but Ed and I … he turned on me. It was a horrible, horrible ending to a beautiful, beautiful story, and I’m still disappointed that they have not reached out to be friends, especially Alex, because Alex and I didn’t have a problem.” However, Hagar says he understands that Alex has to side with his brother.

    But while the chips have fallen where they may, Hagar says he has no regrets where he is now as Chickenfoot is satisfying every musical need he has. He adds, “I am not hungry for any reunion, I am not hungry for any other band, and I am completely in love with Chickenfoot. If it wasn’t for that, I’d be bummed about the Van Halen situation.”

    When asked if he might ever patch things up with Eddie Van Halen, Hagar said, “I can’t see why we wouldn’t and I can’t see why we shouldn’t, but I don’t know. It’s not my goal. I’m not out there wasting energy on that. As far as I’m concerned, he owes me an apology. As far as I’m concerned, if he wanted to be friends, he should reach back out to me because what happened on that reunion tour in ’04 was some of the most miserable, back-stabbing dark crap I’ve ever been involved with my whole life and I would never go through that again with anybody or for any amount of money or any amount of fame and fortune or nothing.”

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  3. #2203
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    Move on dude.....Move on.
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  4. #2204
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    What else wood that guy haver to talk aboot???

    VAN HALEN was the best thing to ever happen to the guy.......................Hysterical!!!
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  6. #2205
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    A "No Comment" would be nice from this piece of shit....

  7. #2206
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hagar the Horrible
    what happened on that reunion tour in ’04 was some of the most miserable, back-stabbing dark crap I’ve ever been involved with my whole life
    and the shit he wrote about Ed in the book isn't miserable and back-stabbing?
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    He's not out there wasting energy on that?! Is that not all he wastes his breathe on? Breathe requires energy. He's been wasting lots of it.
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  9. #2208
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    Quote Originally Posted by twonabomber View Post
    and the shit he wrote about Ed in the book isn't miserable and back-stabbing?
    At least Ed had the excuse of not being sober.
    But now Ed is healthy and sober. And Sammy's head still looks like a toilet brush.
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  10. #2209
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    I love the last interview...spammy burning all the bridges...go on, man, go on!!!
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    I love reading how Hagar thinks he is the hardest done by guy in rock history. He got paid, well. Still gets royalty cheques. How about the way you (and your band, management etc.) tried your best to sink Dave publicly?
    Dave (with or without VH) should have gone on to greater heights but in the end was dismissed pretty much as a typical lead singer Froot Loop as he was brandished with tags like Fag, Lounge Lizard, Show Boat that YOU Hagar only fueled.

    Wacky Dave.

    "I'm sure Dave's difficult, like I said, hey, I wouldn't want to be around a guy who acts like that all the time. You know, who starts bumping and grinding in the middle of the street and stuff? You know, walking down the street? Probably stops and does his little number, you know. It's just silly."
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  12. #2211
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    I'm thinking about changing the little of this thread, mainly because of the word "Ched". For one thing, it's an insult to cheese, and everyone I've ever met likes cheese. Really, a little bit of the stuff on a hamburger or between a couple of crackers is delightful, and only adds to one's enjoyment.

    On the other hand, if you add even the smallest increment of Sammy Hagar to anything, you end up puking your insides out, washing out your eyes and wishing to scrub out your ear canal with a Brillo pad. To sum it up...

    GOOD:








    NOT EVEN FUCKING CLOSE:

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  13. #2212
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    I'm thinking about changing the little of this thread, mainly because of the word "Ched". For one thing, it's an insult to cheese......
    True, I prefer Retard Rocker.

    Mental retardation would explain his sweet lyrics.
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    Change a few letters and the possibilities are endless. The Red Rectum, The Rectum Rocker, Rectum? Damn Near Killed Him...

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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    Change a few letters and the possibilities are endless. The Red Rectum, The Rectum Rocker, Rectum? Damn Near Killed Him...
    The Rank Rectum.

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    The Crimson Clown™
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    The Scarlet Scatface©

  18. #2217
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    the Rotund Rocker

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    The bassplayer's girlfriend
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    Quote Originally Posted by DLR Bridge View Post
    After that, about three or four songs of the Extremist, then that's about it.
    I absolutely LOVE Satriani! His music is amazing, he is a great guitarplayer, and one of the few that isn't in conflict with former and current bandmembers. He seems reasonable opposed to everyone else involved in this story (DLR not included)
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    well said. i love joe too, he's a great human being as well as an unbelievably talented musician.

    it's just a shame he didn't go with a more worthy frontman.
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    i'm gonna hit 4000 posts tonite!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by ashstralia View Post
    well said. i love joe too, he's a great human being as well as an unbelievably talented musician.

    it's just a shame he didn't go with a more worthy frontman.
    I met him once in Stockholm, many years ago, when he played here. On the day of the show I was going through Old Town and I couldn't belive when I saw him, he was with his wife and kid, and he had a hat and sunglasses on, and I just thought what the hell, I'll bother him. And even though he was with his family, he was the sweetest and kindest guy ever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ashstralia View Post
    i'm gonna hit 4000 posts tonite!!
    I did the other day ash,It was a bit anticlimactic
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  26. #2224
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    i know! i met him in brisbane 4 years ago and straight out told him that he gave me a career. he was so gracious and humble as i related how an 18 year old punk from the boondocks of australia got inspired to become a real 'guitarist', and teacher, because of him. we both had welling eyes as he signed my 'not of this earth' tab book. i'll never forget that moment. music is a powerful thing, ay?

  27. #2225
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dave's Bitch View Post
    I did the other day ash,It was a bit anticlimactic
    you're a cheeky one, DB!! it'll be all bells whistles balloons and confetti here...

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    Quote Originally Posted by ashstralia View Post
    i know! i met him in brisbane 4 years ago and straight out told him that he gave me a career. he was so gracious and humble as i related how an 18 year old punk from the boondocks of australia got inspired to become a real 'guitarist', and teacher, because of him. we both had welling eyes as he signed my 'not of this earth' tab book. i'll never forget that moment. music is a powerful thing, ay?
    He is really humble and classy. Too bad that he gets put in the same category as Sammy on this page just cause they happend to be in the same band.

  30. #2227
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    not to mention BLOOD AND FIRE!!!!

    somethin crazy happens... then BOOM! i'm doin the victory dance.

  31. #2228
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    Attached Images Attached Images

  32. #2229
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    I wonder if he's coming out with a penis-flavored tequila?
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    Satriani I think has too much going on in the music for some singer to just detract from. Hagar is a mainstream Beiber wanna be.

    Who da fuck would be just right for Satch?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nickdfresh View Post
    I wonder if he's coming out with a penis-flavored tequila?
    Dude... seriously you couldn't find something better to think about..?

    Might want to question your sanity if this happens frequently...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yount View Post
    Satriani I think has too much going on in the music for some singer to just detract from. Hagar is a mainstream Beiber wanna be.

    Who da fuck would be just right for Satch?
    Unfortunately for Joe, I think he's type cast himself as an instrumentalist. Of the Chickenfoot I've given a listen to, I just hear a guy who's settling to keep it simple for rock's sake, but salivating at the same time to go berserk as he has in his past with an all out barrage of too many damn notes! Guys like Satch reach into their trick bag so often that guys like me keep saying, "that riff's from this, that riff's from that". Just as Barry Williams will forever be Greg Brady, Satch will always be that guy who played Satch Boogie (Y'know, the Hot For Teacher rip off minus singing).

  36. #2233
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    Poor Satch. Can't escape who he is. Destined for solitude in his room with his 8-track and axe.

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    I can't think of any vocalist that would fit right with Satch.

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    i'd give it a go.

    and i'm fair to middle on the rhythm guitar.

  39. #2236
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZahZoo View Post
    Dude... seriously you couldn't find something better to think about..?

    Might want to question your sanity if this happens frequently...
    I was thinking it an inevitable outgrowth of the Sammy empire. It doesn't happen frequently, like your senior moments do...

  40. #2237
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    Wink ched chunker mother fucker

    Wassup everybody , I have not posted in awhile. But after hearing some people at my shop talk about
    super chunker diss Eddie. I drank a couple of crowns, remembered this as my favorite crack up thread.I just wanted to say Sammy... you fucking ugly spiteful piece of shit sorry talk shit motherfuckin asshole,backstabbin blowjob ched chunkin, salty salt, shitty lyric writin mofo. dont ever talk shit about Eddie and Dave again! this is the DLR army bitch. We dont put up with that shit. P.s. Envy me, nice damm
    pics girl. whoooo
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  41. #2238
    someone's doormat
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    Knock 'em down marty d !!

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    The Red Retard is on History Channel, on an episode of American Restoration entitled "Right Here, Rum Now "

    http://www.hennemusic.com/2012/09/sa...-american.html


    In an episode entitled “Right Here, Rum Now,” Sammy hires Rick to restore a vintage refrigerator into a rum dispenser - something Hagar calls a "Rumerator."

    The hookup between the two is a promotion for Sammy’s Beach Bar Rum, the latest addition to Hagar’s alcohol empire. Distilled on Maui by Mark Nigbur of Pau Vodka, the Red Rocker launched the drink in Hawaii last November and it was introduced Stateside in February.

    The Hagar episode of American Restoration premieres Wednesday, September 26 at 9:30pm eastern / 8:30pm central.

    This is unbelievable
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  43. #2240
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    I saw the Godawful commercial for that mutual reach-around and ass-feltching fest. God it looks bad...

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