Icon's Massively Parallel Old Boy Computers & Tech KUNG FU™©®

[conmee]

Brethren and Sistren,

I'm gonna init this topic by calling on all ATARIfanatics™©®, AMIGAistos™©®, ALTAIRians™©®, COBOLers™©®, PASCALers™©®, FORTRANnies™©®, C+ians™©®, LISPers™©®, AssemblyBarbarians™©®, AppleIIers™©®, UNIXgeeks (AIX 7 Bitches!)™©®, SUN & Solaris Refugees™©®, ONEHITWONDERS (Coleco, Commodore64+Vic20, TI-99ers, TimexSinclair, TRS80)™©®, MAINFRAMErs™©®, UNIVACians™©®, DOSdweebs™©®, CP/Mers™©®, OS/2ers™©®, WINDOZErs™©®, MacOSers™©®, MAME/MESS Emulatorians™©®, JAVAristas™©®, BASICdorks™©®, PUNCHCARDretirees™©®, TECHIES™©®, GAMERS (PlayStation, XBox, Nintendo, SNES, Atari, PC, all of it)™©®, GUI/ObjectOrientedPussies™©®, and COMMAND LINE GODS™©®!!!!!

This thread is about sharing a) Your Bio & KUNG FU CREDENTIALS™©®; b) Killer Tech Moves and Secrets; c) Gaming Prowess; d) Photos and Stories of Past/Present/Future; e) Serving Hot Cups of SHUTTHEFUCKUP™©® to the ILL-INFORMED™©® and those WITHOUT GAME (Don't Sing It, If You Can't Bring It!)™©®...

That is all.

Icon™©®

[twonabomber]

Commodore 64 checking in!

playing old games via emulation, but i still have the C64 i got for Christmas back in the 80's, and two other systems (with 1702 monitors!) from my friends.

the 1702's work great as regular video monitors, the old Commodore "chroma" and "luma" inputs are an early form of S-Video. make an adapter and you can hook up S-Video DVD players, etc. i currently have one hooked up to a Roland S-760 sampler.

[conmee]

Brethren and Sistren,

Welcome Twonabomber!!!! I completely forgot to mention MAME/MESS Emulation™©®!!!! Will add to the description above...

Here's my response to that HEATHEN™©® Sesh.... which got me motivated to kick off this whole thread in the first place... I'll post a formal BIO™©® shortly...

------------------------

Brethren and Sistren,

Not to DERAIL™©® this GAY™©® THREAD™©® but I must respond to that NO GOOD ATHEIST BODICE-WEARING SCOTTISH SACK LICKER™©® our very own Sesh™©®....

How DARE YE IMPUGN™©® my technical credentials?!?!?! I was KEEPIN' SHIT REAL AND SIMPLE AND REAL SIMPLE™©® for the novices!!!!! You've known for YEARS™©® that my 9TH DEGREE KUNG FU™©® is beyond REPROACH™©®!!!! Who the fuck do you think keeps this shitty site's LINUX SERVER™©® well-oiled and running with more or less 72% UPTIME™©®?!?!?! I started programming Assembly at the TENDER™©® age of 13, was a UNIX MASTURBATOR™©® during university, wrote TERM PAPERS™©® on WORDMOTHERFUCKINGPERFECT 5.1 on MS-DOS 3.31 on these shitty COMPAQ™©® desktops the size of Volkswagens using every conceivable CTRL+ALT+TAB+SHIFT+FN+KEYCOMBO, and have spent 3/4 of my career at IBM and Microsoft... HOW FUCKING DARE YE™©®!??!?!

You know DAMN WELL™©® that I'm no MACTARD™©® and only use the FRUIT-BASED™©® technology because folks in the advertising business look at you like a fucking BEAN COUNTER™©® if you show up to a client briefing with a PC™©®....

I hope all your customers you've LOCKED™©® into Visual Basic/Excel Macro/SQL Hell revolt and burn down your Scottish equivalent of a TRAILER PARK™©®!!!!!

That is fucking all.

Icon™©®

[conmee]

Brethren and Sistren,

I first laid eyes on a BIG FUCKING COMPUTER™©® on the USS Constellation (CV-64 aircraft carrier) that my dad was assigned to in 1976. Just being a YOUNGUN™©®, I can't tell you what the computer was, but I think the yeoman in charge of the thing was none to happy when my little sister and I "organized" his stack of PUNCHCARDS™©®....fucking ENLISTED SEAMEN™©®.... uh huh uh huh...

Ok, so my first USE™©® of a computer came a year later in grade school, when the reward for excellent grades was time on the COMMODORE PET™©® (Personal Electronic Transactor... yeah Computer Marketing needed help in the 70s and 80s). We'd play HANGMAN™©® and ARTILLERY™©® and BATTLESHIP™©®... had to load games with a cassette tape.

Of course, everyone my age probably had an Atari 2600... still the GRANDADDY™©® of consoles! While I liked video games, I was one of those PERCOCIOUS™©® kids that liked to take shit apart to see how it worked, and was somewhat adept at putting shit back together without ending up with spare screws and parts afterward. I remember my wonder at looking inside an Apple II. But my favorite childhood computer was the Texas Instruments TI-99/4a Home Computer™©®, a silver and black computer with optional SPEECH SYNTHESIZER™©®... figuring out all the ways to say curse words PHONETICALLY™©® was endless fun. And I thought it looked cooler than the Commodore 64 and VIC 20, it had this HUGE PERIPHERAL EXPANSION BOX™©® that gave it the heft of a MINIFRAME™©®... and a seriously loud fucking fan... back in the day, I wanted my computers LARGE AND LOUD™©®!!! On the veritable TI-99 is when I started programming Assembly™©®, BASIC™©®, PASCAL™©®, and would save my lunch money to buy boards/capacitors/resistors/soldering equipment and build peripherals. One of the first things I built was an RS-232 serial interface so I could hook up this Star Micronix dot matrix printer to my TI-99 via the joystick port! Oh, yeah... and with the analog coupler modem (the kind you actually set a phone handset into), I'd jump onto electronic bulletin boards BBS™©® before there was a public Internet. I can still remember downloading an 8-bit grayscale silhouette of a nude woman... that's right brethren and sistren, I downloaded my FIRST PORN™©® in 1984 off a 200 baud dialup bulletin board...

More to come.

Icon™©®

[Nitro Express]

In 1971 my best friend's dad worked on some big ass computer for a mining company. He would bring his old punch cards home. They had this huge living room and we used to make these huge card buildings out of them like you do with a deck of cards. We built a huge card city and then ran the family dog through it to wreck it. Looking back at it we were pretty cheap to entertain.

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Brethren and Sistren,

Here's a TWO HUNDRED BAUD ACOUSTIC COUPLER MODEM™©®. This is how old people got "online" back in 1982.



That is all.

Icon™©®

[Seshmeister]

How DARE YE IMPUGN™©® my technical credentials?!?!?! I was KEEPIN' SHIT REAL AND SIMPLE AND REAL SIMPLE™©® for the novices!!!!! You've known for YEARS™©® that my 9TH DEGREE KUNG FU™©® is beyond REPROACH™©®!!!! Who the fuck do you think keeps this shitty site's LINUX SERVER™©® well-oiled and running with more or less 72% UPTIME™©®?!?!?! I started programming Assembly at the TENDER™©® age of 13, was a UNIX MASTURBATOR™©® during university, wrote TERM PAPERS™©® on WORDMOTHERFUCKINGPERFECT 5.1 on MS-DOS 3.31
[/I]

WORDMOTHERFUCKINGPERFECT 5.1? Try writing papers on VI®© and then come back to the NERDPLATE©®™

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SESH™©®!!!!

:i

Don't even get me started you KUNT™©®!!!! I have an entire topic on VI/SED/EMACS/EDLIN!!!!

Fuckin' vi... you're gonna come at me with fuckin' vi?!?!?!

[esc]
:wq

That is all.

Icon™©®

[Nitro Express]

Brethren and Sistren,

Here's a TWO HUNDRED BAUD ACOUSTIC COUPLER MODEM™©®. This is how old people got "online" back in 1982.



That is all.

Icon™©®

Yeah but even having one in the day meant you were cooking with gasoline. I remember trying to load programs on my Trash 80 with cassettes. What a pain in the ass that was. When I got my first taste of an Apple II with floppy drives, man. Welcome to the space age!

[Seshmeister]

I downloaded my FIRST PORN™©® in 1984 off a 200 baud dialup bulletin board...

Icon™©®

I don't think I was as early as 1984 with the rude pictures stuff that came later.

As I remember in those days it was stuff like



which would do less for even TEENAGE LOVE APPARATUS™© than the lingerie section of the average catalogue.

[Seshmeister]

SESH™©®!!!!

:i

Don't even get me started you KUNT™©®!!!! I have an entire topic on VI/SED/EMACS/EDLIN!!!!

Fuckin' vi... you're gonna come at me with fuckin' vi?!?!?!

[esc]
:wq

That is all.

Icon™©®

It was better than that abortion your pals at HAL came up with - DISPLAYWRITE©

[conmee]

I don't think I was as early as 1984 with the rude pictures stuff that came later.

As I remember in those days it was stuff like



which would do less for even TEENAGE LOVE APPARATUS™© than the lingerie section of the average catalogue.

True, SESH™©®, but if you were BEATING OFF™©® to this back in the day, you were BEATING OFF™©® to the POTENTIAL™©® of computer-generated PRON™©®, not to the pixelated silhouette.

That is all.

Icon™©®

P.S. Sesh, you have SERIOUS KUNG FU™©® as well, make sure to tell your story, you FUCKING HACK™©®!!!!

[Seshmeister]

The problem is that I used my SERIOUS KUNG FU™©® for evil rather that taking the path of purity and riches.

Back in the late 80s I decided I was going to become a ROCKSTAR so came up with a plan that I thought was more cunning than a fox that used to be Professor of Cunning at Oxford University(©E.Blackadder)

I wrote a script that looked like the login screen to all the terminals in the computer lab but the first time you logged in it sent your username and password to a text file in my directory, displayed 'incorrect password' and then exited to the login screen.

That may seem like pretty fucking basic SKULLDUGGERY™© nowadays but in 1988 it worked like a dream with people who were typing passwords into computers for the first time in their lives. It allowed me to skip all my classes and steal the code of all the smartest students in the CUNTRY™ leaving the simple job of choosing the best people with different tutors and bolting their code together an hour before each bit of work was due. This allowed me to spend a solid 98% of my time on the music/debauchery.

This was a brilliant plan right up until the point of sitting in an exam hall at the end of the year, having not become a rock star and getting the second lowest mark for programming in the year, a mighty 6%...

PART II - Where our hero leaves the world of computers under a cloud and joins the LAW SCHOOL™© where lying and cheating were seen as positive character traits...

[Panamark]

I played Zork on a Remington main frame.

Command prompt unix...
Thought that was the shiznit at the time...

Lets not forget the Z-80's and TRS-80's if we are talking desktop.
First desktop I played with was a DEC Rainbow.

[Panamark]

Used to repair computers that had core memory...
Physical mini ferrite cores, each one a magetic "bit"
Eight ferrite rings a "byte"

Great thing was they retained data without power.
Fuck all storage capacity compared to todays ram
modules.