Trump Could Help Romney Win Elusive Billionaire Asshole Vote

[FORD]

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – Businessman Donald Trump’s endorsement of former Governor Mitt Romney could help the presumptive GOP nominee win over the support of a constituency that has been cool to him thus far: billionaire assholes.

Reportedly, the top .00001% wealthiest Americans have regarded Mr. Romney with suspicion to date, wondering, in the words of one billionaire, “if he’s really one of us.”

“It’s a bit of a reach for us billionaires to vote for someone like Romney, who just has a couple of hundred million in the bank,” said Grayson Rance, a billionaire who has so far viewed the former Massachusetts governor warily. “But if a bona fide billionaire asshat like Trump is for him, that makes you give the guy a second chance.”

Mr. Rance said that it was hard to believe that Mr. Romney, “who only owns five or six homes, could relate to people like us and understand our problems,” but that Mr. Trump’s thumbs-up “counts for a lot.”

Speaking on CNN’s “Situation Room,” Mr. Trump told host Wolf Blitzer his reason for endorsing Mr. Romney: “After four years of a President who was born overseas, its time for a President who was born here and sends his money overseas.”

As for Mr. Romney, he experienced a rare emotional moment on Memorial Day, placing a wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Banker.

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[Nickdfresh]

And he might alienate even billionaires with his beyond moronic birther-full-retard cause...

[Terry]

It was kind of amusing watching various news stories over the weekend where the byline across the board was more or less:

"Romney hopes to get closer to clinching nomination with win in Texas"

Like, he's the inevitable nominee. Has been since Santorum dropped out, what, well over a month ago. Am confused as to why any media outlets think there's any room for doubt far as Romney heading the ticket goes.

[Nitro Express]

These presidential races are all rigged. Anyone who isn't going to tow the party line and suck corporate cock will be ignored by the media and shunned. I mean Obama just let his buddy Corzine steal over a billion dollars from MF Global customer accounts and nothing has been done. Obama takes as much Wall Street money as Mitt Does. In fact, Bain Capital has given Obama more money and Mitt was the guy who founded the company. Both Obama and Romney are rich guys. This business the Democrats and Obama really care more about the 99% is laughable. They have proven themselves to be no different than the Republicans. They both are self-enriching, people screwing, corporate cock sucking war mongers. Two terms of Bush and a term of Obama have proven they both bow to the same banking masters and do the same damn thing but sell it to a different group of suckers.

[Nitro Express]

How did this piece of womanly goodness come from Donald's loins? How come her face doesn't look like it's smelling a fart all the time and her hair doesn't look funny?

[Seshmeister]

Her brother's are fucking lowlife smarmy scumfucks and her dad is a fucking idiot.

Just shows that you don't need brains to turn a $300 million inheritance into $800 million in 40 years as long as you bought some property.

Donald's business acumen is a complete myth.

[Nickdfresh]

...And know how to use bankruptcy law...

...
Just shows that you don't need brains to turn a $300 million inheritance into $800 million in 40 years as long as you bought some property.

....

Hell, he could have done almost nothing and done that!

[Seshmeister]

Sorry I'm still pissed off after watching the last season of Celebrity Apprentice.

Car crash TV I couldn't believe the way he was treated like King Solomon getting his dick sucked whilst coming across as a bit of a dummy at best.

Someone being rich should not equal automatically bring huge respect, often the reverse.

[Satan]

Did you want Gay Aiken to win or something?

Or the bubblegum singer with the Bozo the Clown colored hair??

[atomicpnk47]

Ivanka...Come to me my darlink

[Seshmeister]

Did you want Gay Aiken to win or something?

Or the bubblegum singer with the Bozo the Clown colored hair??

She was absolutely horrendous.

Pretty pathetic watching Arsenio Hall prostate himself to Trump to win the final even though the gay guy had done much better in the task.

[Satan]

I suspect Trump was thinking strategically here..... he had to be able to claim he wasn't a racist when he started back up again with the birther horseshit the week after the show was over. So he went with the Black guy.

Probably wouldn't have gained any fans in the gay community even if he had picked Aiken, so no loss for the Donald and his rug there.

As for Arsenio, I just think he's desperate to get back on to late night TV. He pretty much said that in his last pitch to Trump in the finale. He's kissing the wrong ass though.... He should be talking to Letterman. If I remember correctly, Dave said he was going to retire in 2013, and I'm not so sure CBS is going to give Craig Ferguson the better time slot. And you just can't trust Leno - ask Conan about that. So I'd say Arsenio's best chance is at CBS.

[Nitro Express]

Her brother's are fucking lowlife smarmy scumfucks and her dad is a fucking idiot.

Just shows that you don't need brains to turn a $300 million inheritance into $800 million in 40 years as long as you bought some property.

Donald's business acumen is a complete myth.

You sound like you knew these people. You lived next to the Trumps? You sound like a pissed off neighbor in your post.