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Thread: Hey Elvis! Is This One Of Your Inbred Relatives????

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    Hey Elvis! Is This One Of Your Inbred Relatives????

    Seems like the sort of people you were raised among....they definitely have your lack of intellect...

    http://news.yahoo.com/serpent-handli...opstories.html

    A "serpent-handling" West Virginia pastor died after his rattlesnake bit him during a church ritual, just as the man had apparently watched a snake kill his father years before.

    Pentecostal pastor Mark Wolford, 44, hosted an outdoor service at the Panther Wildlife Management Area in West Virginia Sunday, which he touted on his Facebook page prior to the event.

    "I am looking for a great time this Sunday," Wolford wrote May 22, according to the Washington Post. "It is going to be a homecoming like the old days. Good 'ole raised in the holler or mountain ridge running, Holy Ghost-filled speaking-in-tongues sign believers."

    Robin Vanover, Wolford's sister, told the Washington Post that 30 minutes into the outdoor service, Wolford passed around a poisonous timber rattlesnake, which eventually bit him.

    "He laid it on the ground," Vanover said in the interview, "and he sat down next to the snake, and it bit him on the thigh."

    Vanover said Wolford was then transported to a family member's home in Bluefield about 80 miles away to recover. But as the situation worsened, he was taken to a hospital where he later died.

    Jim Shires, owner of the Cravens-Shires Funeral Home in Bluefield, told ABC News that Wolford died Monday. Wolford's church, the Apostolic House of the Lord Jesus in Matoaka, will host a viewing Friday and a funeral service Saturday morning. Wolford will be buried at the Hicks Family Plot in Phelps, Ky.

    Officials at the Panther Wildlife Management Area had been unaware of Sunday's event until they were notified by callers after the service.

    "We did not know that this event was happening, and if we had known about it or if we had been asked for permission, permission would not have been granted," Hoy Murphy, public information officer for the West Virginia Division of Natural Resources, told ABC News.

    Hoy said West Virginia state park rules prohibit animals other than dogs and cats on the property.

    While snake-handling is legal in West Virginia, other Appalachian states, including Kentucky and Tennessee, have banned the practice in public spaces.

    Snake-handlers point to scripture as evidence that God calls them to engage in such a practice to show their faith in him. Mark 16: 17-18 reads, "And these signs shall follow them that believe: In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues. They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover."

    Wolford told the Washington Post magazine in 2011 that he is carrying on the tradition of his ancestors by engaging in snake handling.

    "Anybody can do it that believes it," Wolford said. "Jesus said, 'These signs shall follow them which believe.' This is a sign to show people that God has the power."

    Wolford said watched his own father die at the age of 39 after a rattlesnake bit him during a similar service.

    "He lived 101/2 hours," Wolford told the Washington Post Magazine. "When he got bit, he said he wanted to die in the church. Three hours after he was bitten, his kidneys shut down. After a while, your heart stops. I hated to see him go, but he died for what he believed in.

    "I know it's real; it is the power of God," Wolford told the Washington Post Magazine last year. "If I didn't do it, if I'd never gotten back involved, it'd be the same as denying the power and saying it was not real."


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    I was raised in the military, Mr. Jobless...

    So this pastor was foolish and died, does that make God any less real ??

    Maybe if you set your smug ego down for a minute and called out to God your life might be on a straighter path...


    Just sayin'



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    Quote Originally Posted by ELVIS View Post
    I was raised in the military, Mr. Jobless...

    So this pastor was foolish and died, does that make God any less real ??

    Maybe if you set your smug ego down for a minute and called out to God your life might be on a straighter path...


    Just sayin'


    That was God thinning out the herd.
    " You ever notice when I scream I sound like Mr. Bill on acid" DLR

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    Snake handlers are special kinds of zealots...they don't do that much in ELBOW's (red) neck of the woods, do they?

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    Dude, south Louisiana is not the south you're thinking of...

    There are creole and French Cajun people here, not typical southerners or rednecks or any of the racist stereotypes you dream about, idiot...




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    Quote Originally Posted by private parts View Post
    That was God thinning out the herd.
    Maybe so...

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    Quote Originally Posted by ELVIS View Post
    Dude, south Louisiana is not the south you're thinking of...

    There are creole and French Cajun people here, not typical southerners or rednecks or any of the racist stereotypes you dream about, idiot...




    Believe it or not, TOOL - I was saying snake handlers aren't big in your area - it's more of an (seriously rural) Appalachia thing. Defensive much?

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    Quote Originally Posted by jhale667 View Post
    Believe it or not, TOOL - I was saying snake handlers aren't big in your area -
    Evidently, snake-swallowers are, though.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jhale667 View Post
    Believe it or not, TOOL - I was saying snake handlers aren't big in your area - it's more of an (seriously rural) Appalachia thing. Defensive much?
    No, but you always call me a redneck and a hick and I don't live in an area like that...

    Besides, I was born in Vallejo...

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    Quote Originally Posted by ELVIS View Post
    No, but you always call me a redneck and a hick and I don't live in an area like that...
    And your behaving like one has little to do with where you live...that's where all the "swamp-thing" references come in handy...


    Besides, I was born in Vallejo...

    And yet somehow your family thought LOUISIANA would be preferable...m'kay.... lol Job transfer?

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    Quote Originally Posted by jhale667 View Post
    And yet somehow your family thought LOUISIANA would be preferable...m'kay.... lol Job transfer?
    It's more of a case of them feeling they could just relocate to wherever they wanted...
    ....especially since the house had wheels on it.

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    Dude, this area has a 4.1% unemployment rate...the best in the nation...

    The oil industry is booming...

    Houma Louisiana which is 19 miles away has been one of the fastest growing cities in America for over a decade, and in the late 90s was THE fastest growing city in America...

    Houma is also the home of the cardiovascular institute of the south - a renowned world leader in cardiovascular medicine...

    Meanwhile, California is literally dying...




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    Quote Originally Posted by ELVIS View Post
    Meanwhile, California is literally dying...
    I love how you and Nyquil are always fond of spouting that (doubt either of you have set foot in the state in decades), and yet somehow it's still the music and entertainment capital of the world, and EVERYBODY who's anybody still wants to be here...

    We're still doing something right...

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    Quote Originally Posted by hambon4lif View Post
    It's more of a case of them feeling they could just relocate to wherever they wanted...
    ....especially since the house had wheels on it.
    No, it's because my father was transferred here to inspect communications equipment installation on navy and coast guard ships...they build ships here as well...

    I stayed because I like the south, the heat, the people, the food, the environment, the women and the music...



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    Quote Originally Posted by jhale667 View Post
    I love how you and Nyquil are always fond of spouting that (doubt either of you have set foot in the state in decades), and yet somehow it's still the music and entertainment capital of the world, and EVERYBODY who's anybody still wants to be here...

    We're still doing something right...
    What is California doing right ??

    Name one thing...

    And I was there in 2009. I drove from San Diego to Seattle...

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    People are leaving California in droves...

    I lived in San Diego twice while growing up and when I went there in 2009 it was 99% Hispanic and run down...

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    Quote Originally Posted by ELVIS View Post
    People are leaving California in droves...

    I lived in San Diego twice while growing up and when I went there in 2009 it was 99% Hispanic and run down...

    "Leaving in droves"? Not quite.
    Where was this in 2009 exactly? Multiple locations, or somewhere like Van Nuys aka "Little Tijuana"? It's one of the most ethnically diverse states in the union, dude...'course you probably don't view that as a good thing.

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    Not really...

    What good has resulted from a community being "ethnically diverse" ??

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    Quote Originally Posted by ELVIS View Post
    Not really...

    What good has resulted from a community being "ethnically diverse" ??
    Another truly idiotic statement.

    Where to begin? Less narrow-minded fucktards like YOU, for starters... wonderous amounts of variety as far as attractive women go (and no one worrying - or mistakenly thinking they even have the RIGHT to worrry - about what color your girlfriend is) ...the food's WAAAAY better...like a bland-ass whitebread community can offer anything nearly as socially or intellectually enriching, stop fooling yourself and open your EYES, dude... yeah, bland RULES...dummy.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ELVIS View Post
    Not really...

    What good has resulted from a community being "ethnically diverse" ??
    Well, it works here in Hell. We have always welcomed all kinds of people here.

    Of course after you have been burning for a while, things like skin pigmentation really aren't relevant anymore.
    Eternally Under the Authority of Satan

    Quote Originally Posted by Sockfucker View Post
    I've been in several mental institutions but not in Bakersfield.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Satan View Post
    Well, it works here in Hell. We have always welcomed all kinds of people here.

    Of course after you have been burning for a while, things like skin pigmentation really aren't relevant anymore.

    You're sticking with the plan of sending him to the Hell version of Harlem when he gets there just for the irony factor still, yes?

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    Quote Originally Posted by jhale667 View Post
    You're sticking with the plan of sending him to the Hell version of Harlem when he gets there just for the irony factor still, yes?
    Oh definitely! Nurse Presley will be doing the Harlem Shuffle down here.....


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    Quote Originally Posted by ELVIS View Post
    People are leaving California in droves...

    I lived in San Diego twice while growing up and when I went there in 2009 it was 99% Hispanic and run down...


    At the 2010 census the racial makeup of San Diego was 58.9% White, 6.7% African American, 0.6% Native American, 15.9% Asian (5.9% Filipino, 2.7% Chinese, 2.5% Vietnamese, 1.3% Indian, 1.0% Korean, 0.7% Japanese, 0.4% Laotian, 0.3% Cambodian, 0.1% Thai). 0.5% Pacific Islander, 12.3% from other races, and 5.1% from two or more races. Hispanic or Latino of any race were 28.8%. Among the Hispanic population, 24.9% are Mexican, and 0.6% are Puerto Rican.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ELVIS View Post
    Not really...

    What good has resulted from a community being "ethnically diverse" ??
    Much better food, later opening hours, better service, better culture just a better life environment in general.

    What we do know for a fact is that a community of any species which isn't diverse dies out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Seshmeister View Post
    At the 2010 census the racial makeup of San Diego was 58.9% White, 6.7% African American, 0.6% Native American, 15.9% Asian (5.9% Filipino, 2.7% Chinese, 2.5% Vietnamese, 1.3% Indian, 1.0% Korean, 0.7% Japanese, 0.4% Laotian, 0.3% Cambodian, 0.1% Thai). 0.5% Pacific Islander, 12.3% from other races, and 5.1% from two or more races. Hispanic or Latino of any race were 28.8%. Among the Hispanic population, 24.9% are Mexican, and 0.6% are Puerto Rican.
    There you go derailing a xenophobic ELBOW rant with facts again...






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    Quote Originally Posted by Seshmeister View Post
    Much better food

    maybe if you prefer tacos and burritos.

    later opening hours

    at taco bell, Wendy's and 7-11

    better service

    you can't sustain a society on the service industry.

    better culture

    houses painted like a piñata, cars up on blocks and chickens and crops in the front yard does not equal better culture...LMAO!

    just a better life environment in general.

    see above...


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    Mr Presley, if you think Mexicans eat at Taco Bell, you apparently don't know any Mexicans!

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    I never said that...

    But I know they (those that want to work) work there...

    Just like Chinese people don't eat the MSG bullshit they serve to American idiots like asshale...



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    Yeah, you won't find Chinese people at Panda Express either. You also won't find any Devils there. Unholy shit, their food is awful!

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    Lmao !!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Satan View Post
    Yeah, you won't find Chinese people at Panda Express either. You also won't find any Devils there. Unholy shit, their food is awful!
    I only ate at Panda Express once. It was your typical Americanized sugar sauce coated Chinese food. It wasn't bad but then it wasn't great either.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Satan View Post
    Mr Presley, if you think Mexicans eat at Taco Bell, you apparently don't know any Mexicans!
    This gringo doesn't eat at Taco Bell. It's shit and it's expensive. Every little town now has at least one taco wagon. Cheaper and better than Taco Smell.

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    Gotta love how ELBOW spouts off his litany of lame bigoted stereotypical misconceptions (he likely got watching the Klan channel) as if they're fact... I officially don't believe you were born in CA or have ever set foot here or you wouldn't make ignorant statements like that.

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    It's not whether your community is diverse or not. It's whether the people in it are productive and honest. It's behavior that ruins communities not where the people are from or what color they are. It's how people act. Where the problems come in is where too many people in the community are non productive assholes who think they are entitled to everything just because they breath air. The Mexicans didn't ruin California, it was the complacent voting public who ruined it. They were too busy living the good life and not watching the store. The politicians took full advantage and ruined a huge economy in a very short amount of time. California got stoned and paid the price. It needs to go to rehab.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jhale667 View Post
    I love how you and Nyquil are always fond of spouting that (doubt either of you have set foot in the state in decades), and yet somehow it's still the music and entertainment capital of the world, and EVERYBODY who's anybody still wants to be here...

    We're still doing something right...
    Dude have you checked your state's bond rating? It took your state six fucking months to issue a death certificate when my brother died. Dealing with your state even on the simplest legal matters is a nightmare. Also, enjoy your higher taxes. I guess California is great if you don't run a business there or don't own anything. What amazes me is people like you think everything is so swell there. I've seen the place in steady decline for the last 20 years and I'm just amazed at how the people that live there don't notice. It's night an day. California used to be pristine and cutting edge it's not anymore. I used to enjoy going there and now I just avoid the place.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jhale667 View Post
    I love how you and Nyquil are always fond of spouting that (doubt either of you have set foot in the state in decades), and yet somehow it's still the music and entertainment capital of the world, and EVERYBODY who's anybody still wants to be here...

    We're still doing something right...
    I know the Crips, the Bloods and MS-13 really dig it there.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jhale667 View Post
    Gotta love how ELBOW spouts off his litany of lame bigoted stereotypical misconceptions (he likely got watching the Klan channel) as if they're fact... I officially don't believe you were born in CA or have ever set foot here or you wouldn't make ignorant statements like that.
    Dude, I was born in Vallejo and lived at 145A Regency Way in Chula Vista twice. My parents still own the condo. They bought it new in 1972 when it was a beautiful place. We moved back there in 1980 and it was still beautiful...

    The whole area is beginning to look like a dump now...

    I'm not a liar, fool...

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    And asshale...

    Have you figured out what California is doing right yet ??

    I'm waiting..

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    And that's YOU - spouting your opinion from Jackson (Bung) Hole, Wyoming, dude (for the record, I've been THERE and was seriously underwhelmed. It ain't all that either). And dealing with all 50 states in one capcity or another via my gig, no, not a nightmare compared to some.
    Yeah, the sate's having financial problems, but is still the most diverse, tolerant state in the union, and a cultural mecca, not to mention the weather RULES and we're the entertainment capital of the nation along with NY. So yeah, NO place I'd rather be. Some of the biggest companies in the world (mine included) are still here and not planning to close up shop, so can't be that bad for business.

  40. #40
    The Menace Is Loose Again
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    Down in Elvis' parts snakes don't bite people.....people bite snakes. (preferably with heavy batter & deep fried on a stick)
    “Great losses often bring only a numb shock. To truly plunge a victim into misery, you must overwhelm him with many small sufferings.”

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