SHOES!!! - shoe-talk

[FORD]

Were her toenails polished?

Don't remember her feet. Though she had nice legs..... for a guy.

[envy_me]

Nah, because the girl wanted to dance, and I can't dance.... which is a dead giveaway that I'm not gay. So then she wouldn't talk to me. What irony

Damn.. And I really felt like hearing a sex story.

[Sensible Shoes]

So SFG's feet test is not practiced by everyone. Good to know.

[Guitar Shark]

FORD, I think now would be a good point to say your posts out loud before hitting send.

[envy_me]

So SFG's feet test is not practiced by everyone. Good to know.

Guys talk a lot, but in practice it's all BS...

[LoungeMachine]

Don't remember her feet. Though she had nice legs..... for a guy.

To siggy or Not to siggy.....



That is the question......

[DONNIEP]

See Also: Ann Coulter



I think Donnie banged "her"

Now that "chick" is definitely a man. Or at least half of her is. Gotta be.

[hambon4lif]

So SFG's feet test is not practiced by everyone. Good to know.

The foot test is a proven method, but everyone has their own thing, and some are more extreme than others. The very second I notice that a womans fingernails are painted a different color than their toenails, I just stop talking to them. Never been able to figure out why...

[DONNIEP]

The foot test is a proven method, but everyone has their own thing, and some are more extreme than others. The very second I notice that a womans fingernails are painted a different color than their toenails, I just stop talking to them. Never been able to figure out why...

Usually you can rely on the foot test and the eyebrow test - but then you'll get a chick who's aced both of those and then looks like a damn sasquatch (sascrotch?) below the equator.

[vandeleur]

Sascrotch ......

[LoungeMachine]

Hardwood Floors please.....



Or maybe the Little Hitler or well done landing strip if need be.

[DONNIEP]

What Lounge said. And don't try to get cute with it. I don't wanna be staring at a heart or a star or anything like that when I'm working.

[Sensible Shoes]

The foot test is a proven method, but everyone has their own thing, and some are more extreme than others. The very second I notice that a womans fingernails are painted a different color than their toenails, I just stop talking to them. Never been able to figure out why...

Awwww - now I'm really upset. Cause I do that on purpose. I think toenails can be stronger colors than fingernails. I like to do a more muted tone of the same color on my fingers.

No Hambon for me!!!!

[FORD]

FORD, I think now would be a good point to say your posts out loud before hitting send.

Wouldn't make any difference. Brian and Elvis already call me a "fag" all the time regardless (just because I support equal rights) and nobody else here probably gives a shit either way.

And just because you think a tranny had "nice legs" doesn't mean you want the third leg in between. It's just a comment on how convincing "she" was..... at least from a distance. I can respect the amount of work it must take to pull something like that off..... as long as "she" isn't trying to deceive me with it.

[Northern Girl]

So that's why I don't get dates in the winter. No one can see my feet.

[hambon4lif]

Awwww - now I'm really upset. Cause I do that on purpose. I think toenails can be stronger colors than fingernails. I like to do a more muted tone of the same color on my fingers.

No Hambon for me!!!!

Same colors are okay, but when a gals fingernails are painted blue and their toenails red, I always took that as an indication of how thorough their maintenance is.

It's a system I started using since I discovered I was allergic to penicillin. It forced me to pay attention to detail.

[LoungeMachine]

Awwww - now I'm really upset. Cause I do that on purpose. I think toenails can be stronger colors than fingernails. I like to do a more muted tone of the same color on my fingers.

No Hambon for me!!!!

I'm with Ham on this one....with one exception.

Black nails on certain chicks, with red toenails works for me. Granted she's usually tatted and playing in the opening band, but that's even better

[LoungeMachine]

Now see had this thread been about the hygiene habits and nail colors of hot women, I would've stickied this bitch.



Take your shoes off when you come in my house......

[Sensible Shoes]

Split it off and make it one.

[Dave's Bitch]

Same colors are okay, but when a gals fingernails are painted blue and their toenails red, I always took that as an indication of how thorough their maintenance is.

It's a system I started using since I discovered I was allergic to penicillin. It forced me to pay attention to detail.

I'm rocking some Kiss nail art right now.Am I clean?

[LoungeMachine]

I'm rocking some Kiss nail art right now.Am I clean?

No, Nail Art is a major turn off......



No one wants to look down and see Gene and Paul staring up at them when you're, um, handling the goods.

[Sensible Shoes]

What about Eddie red white and black stripes?

[LoungeMachine]

Split it off and make it one.

Easier to just change the title on this one.....

[LoungeMachine]

What about Eddie red white and black stripes?

No.



No stripes, no diamonds, FRENCH nails are the only excuse for two-tone......

[Sensible Shoes]

I only like french nails done on real fingernails and not the big fat fake ones. That is a real upkeep nightmare cause any nail polish only last for 2-3 days. Cept on those big fake nails cause they never get chipped or anything.

[hambon4lif]

I'm rocking some Kiss nail art right now.Am I clean?

It's sort of similar to Van Halens "Brown M&M's" theory. If I find mismatched colors on their fingernails and toes, then we either have to do a complete line check, or cancel the show.

[Sensible Shoes]

Then we get into male fingernails which should be neatly clipped with no growth showing - NOT manicured and NO nailpolish. And the @1 measure of how things are kept down below - NO GRIME UNDER THE NAILS!!!!! Does this mean that the junk has been mowed - maybe, maybe not, but you at least know that it's probably CLEAN.

[LoungeMachine]

It's sort of similar to Van Halens "Brown M&M's" theory. If I find mismatched colors on their fingernails and toes, then we either have to do a complete line check, or cancel the show.

A tour rider for dating...... you might be onto something.



Now if you'll turn to page 6 under "Hospitality".......

[LoungeMachine]

Then we get into male fingernails which should be neatly clipped with no growth showing - NOT manicured and NO nailpolish. And the @1 measure of how things are kept down below - NO GRIME UNDER THE NAILS!!!!! Does this mean that the junk has been mowed - maybe, maybe not, but you at least know that it's probably CLEAN.

I'm a nut for well manicured everything.



Inspect away, Lady.

[Sensible Shoes]

That's nice! Thanks.

[Sensible Shoes]

Thought you might enjoy this....

Danny’s Guide To Personal Grooming and Fashion

I was walking out of the supermarket near my office this morning when I passed a woman who had committed the mortal sin of leaving for work without drying her shoulder-length hair. Her head was covered in a matted mop of wet, curly blackness that bore striking resemblance to the pubic hair of a late 1970s porn king after an especially squishy romp on a leopard-skin loveseat with a top-heavy, coked-out starlet.

Now, don’t get all upset and accuse me of being the possessor of a wandering eye. I am not in the habit of closely examining the personal grooming habits of strange women, but this pube-headed goober’s Monday morning faux pas was thrust in my face. How can you NOT notice something like that? It’s like being kicked in the nards with a steel-toed cowboy boot. There are just certain things that should and should not be done when it comes to personal grooming.

1. If you are going to wear open-toed shoes, kindly sand back your toenails so they don’t protrude past the front rim of your flip-flops, pumps or Birkenstocks. Nobody wants to see your Gail-Devers-ass toenail daggers or see the sparks that fly backward every time you drag one of your Neanderthalic, two-inch-thick paws across the concrete when you walk (even if they’re painted Sassy Ass pink and decorated with little white flowers --- which, by the way, makes your feet look like a piece of wallpaper from the China Palace bathroom).

2. Perfume is nice when it’s a squirt or two on your neck, but those of you who douse yourselves with so much potpourri-scented pisswater that you make yourselves smell like the linen closet of an octogenarian are doing serious damage to both the ozone layer and the septums of the men you try to seduce. Christ, some of you smell like my parents’ Maltese does when it comes back from the dog groomers.

3. What’s the deal with mascara that leaves big old globules of black soot on your lashes? Some of you look like you have aphids crawling up your face. Do you have any idea how distracting it is to ask a female coworker about when she might have the TPS reports done only to see her stop mid-sentence in her reply to fish a piece of hardened mascara the size of a peach pit out of her left eye?

4. This just in: we can see the cavernous crevices under your caked-up on makeup. We know you had a big zit on your chin because you ate half a pint of Chunky Monkey and in a fit of rage and fear, you picked at it until it popped a wad of white zit goo all down your face. Big whup. It happens to us, too. Save yourself the money and the trouble of smearing that ashen slop all over your face and just tell us about the sound it made – “Squirtsch!” – when you popped it. It’s a great conversation starter.

5. If you want to wear a g-string, fine. If you want to let it peak out from the waistline of your pants, have at it. But please don’t let it hike so far up your back that men are forced to imagine that the underwear is so far up your ass that if you yawn, we might be able to see it wrapped around your uvula.

6. If you want to ask us about the kind of car seat we purchased for our children, please remove the Crest White Strips from your Cheerios-box-yellow grill first.

7. If you’re going to wear a mini-skirt, please also remember to shave the back of your legs, where your hamstrings are. Nothing like walking behind a woman who looks like a runway model in the front and The Bride of Sasquatch in the back.

8. If you can fit a two-liter bottle of Pepsi between your tits, please wear a bra with that shirt. Nobody wants to see your droopy, disgusting primate tits two inches from your waistline, cavewoman. And we certainly don’t want to see your hairy, dinner-plate-sized nipples peaking through the weathered “Porn Star” shirt you’ve tragically elected to wear to work on Dress-Down Friday.

9. Whatever the reason may be that you choose to break the air-tight seal between your dentures and your top gums and force the fake choppers outward with your tongue, please make sure that your mouth-breathing doesn’t produce a high-pitched whistle that distracts your coworkers.

10. Got a hickey? Wear a turtleneck. Nobody wants to have to imagine what you and your crack-showing, donut-eating IT boyfriend do in your own time, especially if it means that he sucks the Cheetos crumbs off of your neck with such ferocity that it leaves a bruised welt in the sh

blog ends there, and I can't find where it continues.....

[hambon4lif]

[clarathecarrot]

That's nice! Thanks.

Dang, I guess I don't get to kiss and lick the glistening sweat off of The RA ladies after they have been working outside all day in the garden getting mud and grime and filthy gunk all over thier fingernails and legs and arms and wash the hot wet juicy glow off thier unkempt bushes, with my toungue, as I run my filthy hands all over the curves of that oily salty sunburnt skin, after a hard days work in the yard..,,,....oh well.

[Sensible Shoes]

Clara you have such a vivid imagination! You should write Harlequin romances.

[clarathecarrot]

Clara you have such a vivid imagination! You should write Harlequin romances.

I am not soft enough around the edges to speak those words in book form, and I was writing imaginary stuff... I wasn't coming on to The RA Women, as fine as they are. ..and their sexy little finger nails............woof.

The Mods will add that to my ban book ....lol.

Peace .

[Dan]

Page 5.

[envy_me]

There is NOTHING worse, absolutely nothing, and this seems to be some kind of fashion in the arab-countries cause it's mostly them who do it, then french manicure on your TOENAILS. I wanna throw up when I see it. I don't even have words to describe the disgust I feel when I see it. Your toenails aren't supposed to be long.

[LoungeMachine]

I've never seen French Nails on toes in my life.....

wtf?

[envy_me]

I've never seen French Nails on toes in my life.....

wtf?

It's gross. It looks like claws.

[envy_me]

You'd be suprised how many arab-chicks walk around with these.



or these..




CUT YOUR TOENAILS, IT'S GROSS