Kristy's Top Ten Guitar Players Who Can Easily Find A Woman's Clitoris

[Kristy]

Now keep in mind kids this is not a contest or are they in any particular order. To have made the list the musician has to posses these three qualities:

1. Originality
2. Whether I like them or not
and
3. Tone or touch (obviously)


1. Robben Ford


2. Charles Pitts (best known for his work with Isaac Hayes)


3. Carlos Alomar (of David Bowie fame)


4. Larry Carlton


5. Ry Cooder


6. Sonny Landreth


7. James Mankey (of Concrete Blonde fame)


8. Ray LaMontange


9. Lindsey Buckingham


10. Will Sargent (of Echo & The Bunnymen fame)



Now to be fair, here is my list of guitar players who in a million years will ever find a woman's clitoris:

1. Jim Babjak (of The Smithereens fame)


2. Mike Campbell (of Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers fame)


3. Micheal Timmins (of Cowboy Junkies fame)


4. Elvis Costello


5. Jeff Tweedy (of Wilco fame)


6. Steve Howe


7. K.K. Downing (of Judas Priest fame)


8. Bruce Springsteen


9. Steve Stevens (of Billy Idol fame)


10. Billy Duffy (of The Cult fame)


Thanks for watching and gawd bless

[Diamondjimi]

10 guitarist's who couldn't miss for tripping over Krusty's moosecock sized clit dragging behind her....

Sorry about your inability to achieve orgasm...

[Seshmeister]

Now keep in mind kids this is not a contest or are they in any particular order. To have made the list the musician has to posses these three qualities:

1. Originality
2. Whether I like them or not
and
3. Tone or touch (obviously)

What about the ability to count to three?

[Kristy]

Not important.

[Seshmeister]

Now to be fair, here is my list of guitar players who in a million years will ever find a woman's clitoris:

Shouldn't that be the same list as those that can easily find it?

[FORD]

Four Guitar Players who have found many women's clitorises....

[Kristy]

I'm not too sure about the last two.

[Kristy]

Shouldn't that be the same list as those that can easily find it?

Should read "never" Damn typo.

[Dave's Bitch]

K.K. is awesome

[ELVIS]

Krusty's Klitoris™ is what ??

[Diamondjimi]

Krusty's Klitoris™ is what ??

A big salmon smelling shred of minge that droops and gets dragged behind her and leaves a slick, shiny odorous trail...

[Dave's Bitch]

A big salmon smelling shred of minge that droops and gets dragged behind her and leaves a slick, shiny odorous trail...

Ouch.Remind me never to get on your bad side Diamondjimi

[envy_me]

Ouch.Remind me never to get on your bad side Diamondjimi

Haha, my thoughts exactly... Wow!!!

[binnie]

Steve Stevens on the dislike list?

[binnie]

I think this thread is the only time in history where 'Cowboy Junkies' and 'fame' have been used in the same sentence......

[vaijuju]

[binnie]

Do clitori cum with 7 strings

[envy_me]

I KNOW.... i know

[binnie]

It's a good idea for a thread, Kristy.

There are plenty of guitar players who I love who don't really have all that much in the way of chops (to my VERY limited understanding).

J Mascis (Dinosaur Jr) is the one that springs to mind. You know it's him in 4 bars and he can flip from whale to whisper on a dime.......

[Little Texan]

What, no Jimmy Page on the list?

After all, he is only one of the greatest rock guitarists of all time.

[Little Texan]

10 guitarist's who couldn't miss for tripping over Krusty's moosecock sized clit dragging behind her....

Sorry about your inability to achieve orgasm...

Are you positive that's a clit?

[FORD]

What, no Jimmy Page on the list?

After all, he is only one of the greatest rock guitarists of all time.

Jimmy had to voluntarily withdraw from the competition after he was re-elected as Vice President of the United States....

[Diamondjimi]

Ouch.Remind me never to get on your bad side Diamondjimi

Haha, my thoughts exactly... Wow!!!

Are you positive that's a clit?

[78/84 guy]

Jimmy had to voluntarily withdraw from the competition after he was re-elected as Vice President of the United States....

I thought he was the Quaker oats guy ?

[Kristy]

What, no Jimmy Page on the list?

After all, he is only one of the greatest rock guitarists of all time.

Well then, go make your own list of the guitar players that you would love to such their dicks.

[Kristy]

Steve Stevens on the dislike list?

Yeah, he's a tool sack. His playing sucks, too.

[Kristy]

K.K. is awesome

Nope, sorry. He sucks.

[Matt White]

Kristy's Top Ten Guitar Players Who Can Easily Find A Woman's Clitoris

1. Robben Ford

The ONLY panties Robben has ever dropped with his guitar playing are his own!

Now....Here's a "Guitar Player"!!!

[Kristy]

You and your love of pussy guitar players never ends, Matt.

[chefcraig]

Say what you will about the other players on the list, but I still maintain (and more than likely stand alone in this opinion) that Larry Carlton's mind-blowingly brilliant work on Steely Dan's The Royal Scam adds up to forming to the finest guitar album ever made.

[Kristy]

Have you heard any other of Carlton's work - particularly before he went of on this tangent of 'Yuppie Jazz' that he is playing now?



I don't know (without having to look it up) that Nite Crawler was Larry's first solo outing after leaving The Crusaders but it sounds so much like an instrumental Steely Dan album.

[Matt White]

You and your love of pussy guitar players never ends, Matt.

Uhhhhh....you got it Krustina...........

"Pussy"?!? Yeah...Rubbina fits the bill

Rubbina Ford on 2 KISS "classics"..............

2 boring songs where the solo is the MOST boring part!!! BRAVO!!!

[Matt White]

And...rather than be the constant bore that you choose to be...I'll actually participate in a constructive way to this thread......

James is always interesting.....though he looks to be aboot 100 yrs old these days............

Johnette is always fantastic...........

[Kristy]

Uhhhhh....you got it Krustina...........

"Pussy"?!? Yeah...Rubbina fits the bill

Rubbina Ford on 2 KISS "classics"..............

2 boring songs where the solo is the MOST boring part!!! BRAVO!!!

Great counter-argument you have there, Matty boy. Posting shitty KISS tunes from that per-industrial high school era when you couldn't get laid and people mistook your acne plastered face as Papa's John pizza. Keep 'em coming - you're an embarrassment to your lame 80's MTV Generation of crap.

[Matt White]

Great counter-argument you have there, Matty boy. Posting shitty KISS tunes from that per-industrial high school era when you couldn't get laid and people mistook your acne plastered face as Papa's John pizza. Keep 'em coming - you're an embarrassment to your lame 80's MTV Generation of crap.

Sorry to burst your bubble Krustina.....Rubbina Ford played the solo's to those " shitty KISS tunes"................& he STILL couldn't have found a laddies under-carriage without a roadmap!!!

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......ever heard the term EPIC FAIL?!? You just did.......

[chefcraig]

Have you heard any other of Carlton's work - particularly before he went of on this tangent of 'Yuppie Jazz' that he is playing now?

Are you kidding? More people have heard Carlton's work than possibly any other guitarist, yet they simply aren't aware of it. The guy played on the soundtracks for Hill Steet Blues, Magnum PI, the fucking Partridge Family and (I think) a couple of Bruce Lee films. The dude even played on some Michael Jackson albums.

I'm pretty sure they are out of print, yet if you can find either one, check out his duet albums with Robben Ford recorded live in Paris and Japan. Truly astounding only begins to describe them.

[Kristy]

Sorry to burst your bubble Krustina.....Rubbina Ford played the solo's to those " shitty KISS tunes"................& he STILL couldn't have found a laddies under-carriage without a roadmap!!!

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......ever heard the term EPIC FAIL?!? You just did.......

Yes, I knew that, you asshole. Speaking of failure let's compare, shall we?

Robben Ford making a successful living as a session guitar player whether or not some of those sessions are questionable: excellent

Matt White as being a success at anything in life: 0

[Matt White]

Yes, I knew that, you asshole. Speaking of failure let's compare, shall we?

Robben Ford making a successful living as a session guitar player whether or not some of those sessions are questionable: excellent

Matt White as being a success at anything in life: 0

Now now Krustina....your making "assumptions"......

UHuh HUhhuuhhh huh huhu hu huHUhuhh.........

crank up some Coldplay....play "flip the minnow" & go back to dreaming of the fish bine.............

save the twaddle for your uninteresting relations............spare the rest of us

[Kristy]

Now now Krustina....your making "assumptions"......

UHuh HUhhuuhhh huh huhu hu huHUhuhh.........

crank up some Coldplay....play "flip the minnow" & go back to dreaming of the fish bine.............

save the twaddle for your uninteresting relations............spare the rest of us

Another great comeback, Matt. Here's an idea why not save your twaddle for the drunken asshole that you have to share the bus seat with on the way to your job as a dishwasher? Maybe you can tell him of all the well-paid session work and endless opportunities you obviously have going your way as a self-professed musician to him..?

[Matt White]

Another great comeback, Matt. Here's an idea why not save your twaddle for the drunken asshole that you have to share the bus seat with on your way to your job as a dishwasher? Maybe you can tell him of all the well-paid session work and endless opportunities you obviously have going your way as a self-professed musician to him..?

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.......



cheer up Krustina!!!