Dave on cracked

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  • Tot Brengen
    Roth Army Recruit
    • May 2012
    • 13

    Dave on cracked

    Don't know if anyone has seen this yet, but on CRACKED.COM there is an article where Dave is mentioned.

    If you're about to sign a record contract, take a cue from these seven artists. All have played before thousands-strong audiences, and all have followed up their fame with successful (if totally random-ass) careers.


    #2. David Lee Roth Secretly Worked as an EMT




    David Lee Roth was the lead singer of the only worthwhile incarnation of Van Halen, a fashion icon who pushed spandex to the limits, and easily the greatest scat musician ever to grace the planet. Before grunge music made it unacceptable to act like a one-man keg party, Diamond Dave was the feather-haired avatar of debauched good times.




    After the Spotlight

    Between leaving Van Halen in 1985 and reuniting with the band in 2006, Roth found inner peace working as an emergency medical technician in New York City. Yes, that David Lee Roth -- who sang "I reach down between my legs 'n' ease the seat back" and spent most of the 1980s doing airborne splits -- rode with ambulance crews in the dead of night, racking up 200 individual rides and becoming handy with a defibrillator. Apparently Roth took this gig quite seriously -- despite his reputation as a good-time letch, Roth's supervisors gave him top marks.




    And to prevent himself from being recognized and coming across as a glory hound, Roth shaved his sexy mane, although we kind of wish he had gone dressed up in his stretch pants circa 1984. Elderly folks would have constantly been mistaking him for a very flamboyant angel of death.
  • Nitro Express
    DIAMOND STATUS
    • Aug 2004
    • 32794

    #2
    Grunge killed the glorious celebration of rock and roll. Grunge was whiney losers crying about life. The neo hippie thing rolled in with it and people have been pathetic slob wimps since. There hasn't been any true rock stars since that shit hit. I say bring the shameless decadence back and if you feel guilty you are lame.
    No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

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    • FORD
      ROTH ARMY MODERATOR

      • Jan 2004
      • 58754

      #3
      Yeah, because a bunch of whiny girly transvestites singing endless amounts of cheese ballads was so much better......
      Eat Us And Smile

      Cenk For America 2024!!

      Justice Democrats


      "If the American people had ever known the truth about what we (the BCE) have done to this nation, we would be chased down in the streets and lynched." - Poppy Bush, 1992

      Comment

      • Nitro Express
        DIAMOND STATUS
        • Aug 2004
        • 32794

        #4
        Originally posted by FORD
        Yeah, because a bunch of whiny girly transvestites singing endless amounts of cheese ballads was so much better......
        That was called a lack of talent. They were all bad copies of Van Halen. It's true. Where they failed is they didn't celebrate creatively and invent their own thing. Bad copy cats they were.
        No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

        Comment

        • Tot Brengen
          Roth Army Recruit
          • May 2012
          • 13

          #5
          And another one... This time about great lead-singers with terrible solo careers...

          Source:http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-great-...-solo-careers/

          When David Lee Roth left Van Halen in 1985, it would have been understandable if people didn't have the highest of expectations. After all, singing, lyric writing, and choreographing the karate kicks and other assorted rock moves were the only things on Diamond Dave's to-do list during his run as the band's frontman. There were signs that solo Dave was going to be unusually bad times before he even left, though.

          That's Crazy from the Heat, an objectively terrible EP released not long before DLR split. It consists mostly of covers, including a painful take on the Beach Boys' "California Girls" that made David Lee Roth an even bigger star than he already was, but only because it had a neat video. Everybody hates the song, and now you can, too:

          His first proper solo album, Eat 'Em and Smile, was more in line with what fans had come to expect in that it was mostly rock music featuring an incredibly talented lead guitarist. Unfortunately, that lead guitarist was Steve Vai, who's basically Eddie Van Halen minus the substance abuse problems and personality. So it wasn't quite the same, and the difference is enough that if you remember any David Lee Roth solo song that isn't "Just Like Paradise" or some lounge music bullshit like this ...

          ... congratulations on being a huge Van Halen fan. The rest of us still don't give a shit. Van Halen was a bit like the ingredients in a McDonald's cheeseburger. As a group, they're delicious. Individually, they're practically worthless. And David Lee Roth was the dehydrated onions on that terrible cheeseburger, a unique ingredient that might look ridiculous but somehow brings forth the best flavors from the rest of the ensemble.

          That was a pretty great comparison. Anyway, the crimes of David Lee Roth's solo career are rendered even more heinous because of what it cleared the way for. That, of course, being the "Van Hagar" years, in which poodle-haired tequila salesman Sammy Hagar led Van Halen through the recording of what amounted to a decade-long Pepsi commercial.

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