Stop Dissin' Lebron!

[WARF]

Okay, before you all go “angry mob” on me, let me git one thang straight first: I aint a LeBron Jizzy fan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I find tha playa ta be tha second most disingenuous “athlete” on tha hood behind Dwayne “Da Rock” Johnson. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I still be thinkin tha way he left Cleveland was tha freshest dick move up in game history n' tha only basketbizzle playa dat has a harder time dealin wit jive-ass shiznit is Dwight Howard.

That holla'd, tha playa is talented. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time yo. He’s goin ta go down as one of tha top billin ta eva play basketbizzle whether you like it or not yo. He’s a pure athlete dat could have had success all up in tha NFL level had his basketbizzle game not been at superhuman levels yo. He’s a gangbangin' freak of nature. No one should be dat damn big, dat damn fast n' dat damn athletic. It’s not fair.

But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat I still be thinkin he’s a thugged-out douchebag. I don’t feel as straight fuckin as most of tha playas I live round up in LeBron’s hometown of Akron, Ohio yo, but I’m not wild-ass bout tha guy.

Okay, now dat we’ve gotten dat crap outta tha way fo' realz. A lot has been made over tha last few minutez of LeBron’s pre-game show he puts on fo' tha fans.

For dem of y'all dat haven’t kept up, Jizzy probably uses tha time he’s given up in tha layup lines durin warmups ta put on his own dunk contest. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. His dunks be crazy, includin a funky-ass between tha hairy-ass legs windmill off a funky-ass bounce dat would have won dis year’s dunk contest… which fo' tha record… watchin dat shiznit was mo' fucked up than passin a kidney stone wrapped up in barbed wire n' set on fire.

Yo, since his crazy-ass muthafuckin impromptu show made headlines the otha night, bloggers n' muthafuckas globally have weighed in, comin' at Jizzy fo' dunkin like dat up in pre-game yo, but not up in tha NBA’s dunk contest.

I can’t believe I’m bout ta do this… but LeBron… I gots dis one.

DA O.G. WARF

[WARF]

A seemingly innocent question may have gotten tha Warner Bros. execs thankin seriously bout it fo' realz. Although there is currently no word of a sequel ta tha 1996 film Space Jame bein up in thang, there be nuff reasons why it could be n' should be.

Da original gangsta film featured a animated Looney Toons cast n' live-action basketbizzle star Mike Jordan playin b-bizzle against a crew of monsta aliens fo' they freedom; it debuted at #1 up in tha U.S. n' went on ta make $230 mazillion ghettowide. Its commercial success was backed by a killa soundtrack dat featured R. Kelly’s “I Believe I can Fly” n' tha rare film presence of its star, Mike Jordan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Jordan was retired from tha NBA all up in tha time, which I’m shizzle aided up in tha film’s appeal ta basketbizzle hustlas whoz ass missed his muthafuckin ass.

Jizzy was obviously one of dem fans, as tha current Miami Heat star was eleven when Space Jam came out. There is now a entire generation of playas his thugged-out age whoz ass fondly remember Space Jam n' whoz ass would probably peep a sequel wit todizzle’s Mike Jordan - n' that’s (arguably) James. Da Looney Toons crew has proved ta be timeless, and Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck n' co. wouldn’t be too hard ta git on board fo' a Space Jam sequel. Yo ass just need tha artists n' voiceover hustlas ta make all dat shiznit work. There’s also no question dat Jizzy could roundup a cold-ass lil cast of his thugged-out lil' hommies from tha NBA ta fill up tha rest of tha onscreen crew. Compared ta tha original’s lineup of Shawn Bradley, Muggsy Bouges, Larry Johnson, Pat Ewin n' Charlez Barkley, pimps like Dirk Nowitzki, (Like Mike) Metta Ghetto Peace, (Think Like a Man) n' Steve Nash (Life as We Know It) have some actual actin experience fo' realz. And if you wanna question James’ chops, don’t forget all tha hilarious Nike commercials where he played different versionz of his dirty ass.

If LeBron straight-up wants ta be remembered as mo' betta than Jordan, maybe Space Jam 2 is tha ticket?

DA O.G. WARF

[TFM_Dale]

Huh? You are officialy worse then clarathecarrot now lol