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Thread: For All You Idiots That Think Marriage Should Only Be As Defined By The Bible.....

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    For All You Idiots That Think Marriage Should Only Be As Defined By The Bible.....

    Linky


    Biblical marriage made easy for conservatives


    We hear a lot about “biblical marriage” these days, particular from right-wing conservatives battling the idea of same sex marriage or unions. The problem is that most of them are not clear on what that means. Here is a helpful article on the types of marriage found in the pages of the bible.

    The important thing for conservatives to realize here is that none of these models are described as being any better than any other. They all appear to have been accepted throughout the bible.

    So there you go. The next time someone opposed to gay marriage says that we need to stick with traditional biblical marriage in this country, you can ask them which of the eight kinds they would prefer, and why.




    Man + Woman (Nuclear Family, Monogamous, heterosexual marriage)

    What you might think of as the standard form of marriage, provided you think of arranged marriages as the standard. Also remember that inter-faith or cross-ethnic marriage were forbidden for large chunks of biblical history. Genesis 2:24

    Man + Women (Polygamy)

    Probably the most common form of marriage in the bible, it is where a man has more than one wife. For example, Jacob had 2 wives and fathered 13 children. This is rarely spoken about when the subject of marriage and the bible is debated! Genesis 4:19
    Esau (3 wives), Gideon (many), Solomon (700)

    Man + Brother’s Widow (Levirate Marriage)

    When a woman was widowed without a son, it became the responsibility of the brother-in-law or a close male relative to take her in and impregnate her. If the resulting child was a son, he would be considered the heir of her late husband. See Ruth, and the story of Onan. Genesis 38:6-10

    Man + Wives + Concubines


    A man could have one or more wives and any number of concubines. The definition of a concubine varies from culture to culture, but they tended to be live-in mistresses. Concubines were tied to their “husband,” but had a lower status than a wife. Their children were not usually heirs, so they were safe outlets for sex without risking the line of succession. Genesis 20:10 To see how badly a concubine could be treated, see the famous story of the Levite and his concubine Judges 19:1-30.
    Abraham (2 concubines), Solomon (300)

    Rapist + Victim

    If a man raped a woman and she wasn’t married, she would be forced to marry him. A man could rape any woman that he liked and they would be considered married. The draw back? For the man OF COURSE! He could not divorce her!! Deuteronomy 22:28-29

    Man + Woman + Woman’s Property


    If a woman was “married” and infertile, she could give her property, her slave, to her husband as a wife. This is also referred to as the famous “handmaiden” sketch, as preformed by Abraham, Genesis 16:1-6, and Jacob, Genesis 30:4-5.

    Male Soldier + Prisoner of War

    As with many wars, women become the property of the victor. And that is how it was in biblical times. Female captives were forced to submit to their male captors, usually by force, RAPE. Deuteronomy 21:11-14 and Numbers 31:1-18

    Male Slave + Female Slave

    An owner could order a female slave to “marry” a male slave without any input from the female. The consummation of this “union” usually involved rape. Exodus 21:4


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    You're a slave and you're a homo...

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    The lolbrary, Sesh ??

    I'm not LOL...

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    It's a false flag LOL.

    I've been hired by the CIA to LOL...

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    I highly doubt that...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Seshmeister View Post
    It's a false flag LOL.

    I've been hired by the CIA to LOL...
    Betty Bowers is an academy award-winning christian crisis actor....

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    Sesh, those are absolutely true.....that is.....fundaligionists like Elbow believe them to be true.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Seshmeister View Post
    It's a false flag LOL.

    I've been hired by the CIA to LOL...
    If only the Alexis Jonestownian idiots knew that technically, "false flag" is the incorrect term. The correct term is actually "agent provocateur" since Islamic extremists and deranged mentally ill people don't have a "flag"...

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    hahah!!!

    i'm right; you're wrong. the end.

    gotta love them thar bible thumping god bothering racist anti gay bile spewers...not.

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    i googled 'betty bowers' and found this hilarious shit!! hehe.. it's like it was written for elvis...

    http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0701/dating.html

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    They really need to update that page more often..... a Playstation 2 isn't going to win many converts now.
    Eat Us And Smile

    Cenk For America 2024!!

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    look, you're all completely wrong. the only legitimate marriage under God is a Christian marriage.*


    (*Mormon Christian marriages notwithstanding...)

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    Ok so which one of the 8 kinds of Christian marriages?

    I like the Man + Wives + Concubines marriage.


    Naah.....I would only want one woman. Be too nutso having more than that.

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    (dude, i was kidding that the Christians who clamor for the sanctity of marriage usually also rail against polygamy - which technically was a kind of Christian - Mormon -marriage...)

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    The Bible makes it clear that God intends marriage to be between one man and one woman, as it was from the beginning in Genesis...

    Any challenge to this teaching stands in opposition to God’s plan for His creation...

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    Quote Originally Posted by ELVIS View Post
    The Bible makes it clear that God intends marriage to be between one man and one woman, as it was from the beginning in Genesis...

    Any challenge to this teaching stands in opposition to God’s plan for His creation...
    Does that go for slavery, killing children, etc?

    God's "plans" were pretty brutal.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    Dude, what in the fuck is wrong with you? I'm full of hate and I do drugs.
    Quote Originally Posted by cadaverdog View Post
    I posted under aliases and I jerk off with a sock. Anything else to add?

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    Dude, you have zero idea of what's in the Bible...

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    Cherry pick all you like.

    If against all the odds, overwhelming evidence, logic, and even itself, the bible is true then your god can suck my cock because he would be a monster and I can't think of anything worse than an eternity of that crap.

    There is a reason you are constantly referred to as sheep in your own handbook...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hardrock69 View Post
    Ok so which one of the 8 kinds of Christian marriages?


    i hate to go all Elvis on your ass, but a Christian marriage has to come after Christ. Anything before that, I.E. Old testament doesn't stand with the born agains. The Old testament is only used by the Jesus thumpers when it suits them.

    Oh dear.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ELVIS View Post
    The Bible makes it clear that God intends marriage to be between one man and one woman, as it was from the beginning in Genesis...

    Any challenge to this teaching stands in opposition to God’s plan for His creation...
    But the covenant between David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel 18 was literally biblical, and God was obviously cool with it. Even though Jonathan's dad Saul obviously wasn't, throwing spears around, and calling his gay son the "son of a perverse woman" or whatever it was .

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sensible Shoes View Post
    i hate to go all Elvis on your ass, but a Christian marriage has to come after Christ. Anything before that, I.E. Old testament doesn't stand with the born agains. The Old testament is only used by the Jesus thumpers when it suits them.
    The Jesus character in the story says that he agrees with all the crazy earlier stuff.

    Plus you have the bigoted homophobe guy Paul who invented the whole superstition later...

    Seriously the quickest way to lose faith in the bible is to actually sit down and read it rather than sit sleepily as some idiot selects little bits from it and puts his own spin on them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sensible Shoes View Post
    i hate to go all Elvis on your ass, but a Christian marriage has to come after Christ. Anything before that, I.E. Old testament doesn't stand with the born agains. The Old testament is only used by the Jesus thumpers when it suits them.
    Christians these days make the usual statement "It has to be a marriage according to The Bible".

    They do not differentiate between Old and New Testament.

    Of course they use the old adage "Between a Man and a Woman", but who are Christians to argue with God about what he supposedly wrote?

    Well, Jesus approved of that, as it was HIS wedding in Cana in Galilee where he was asked what to do about the low supply of wine.....even Jesus liked to get ripped once in awhile.....

    But Christians also tend to claim fanatically that the entire Bible is "perfect" because it is "God's Word".

    Well if even the Old Testament is the Word Of Gawd, then Christians should have no trouble allowing for the OT rules and regulations.

    As was pointed out above, Jesus had nothing against the Old Testament......he had no choice....he was JEWISH.....
    Last edited by Hardrock69; 05-29-2013 at 09:38 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ELVIS View Post
    Dude, you have zero idea of what's in the Bible...
    How would you know?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Seshmeister View Post
    Seriously the quickest way to lose faith in the bible is to actually sit down and read it rather than sit sleepily as some idiot selects little bits from it and puts his own spin on them.
    This.

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    If Elbow even bothered to pick one up, he might be able to accuse others of not knowing what was in it, but considering he only can believe what he is told by the Parrish minister at the one-room church down the road from his trailer park, he really knows zero about what is in the Bible....

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    Some of us actually studied it in depth for more than a decade...

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    That is what drives me crazy about Born Again Christians - they have fits about false prophets etc. but do not study the bible without the interpretation of some backwoods pastor or, God Forbid, a televangelist. (Send us LOTS of money!) And, I believe, Elvis is Catholic. Which really fries my brain.

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    Same ole song and dance...

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    Heh....his brain has been fried for a long time. :-D

    So....he is one of those wine-drinking, cracker-eating people that are pretending to be cannibals?

    Here..."drink my blood"......here...."eat of my flesh....".


    Ok...so Catholics have a tradition of eating their dead. So what else is new?
    Last edited by Hardrock69; 05-29-2013 at 10:23 PM.

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