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Thread: 'Van Halen Rising' Book Chat with Greg Renoff - Oct. 17th, 9pm ET

  1. #361
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    I thought you had gone to college not some anti-Semitic training camp.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    Anyone can write a book about Van Halen. Let's see...



    Chapter 1:

    About what, early 70's, two brothers, one Jew and one half-Jew got together to form a band. For the most part, they sucked. They were lazy, uneducated, unemployed, but loved pussy and free beer. They would gig most anywhere for pussy and beer but after awhile could no discern which was more stale. Then another Jew sought an opportunity to make money off of them and sign them to a lopsided record deal. A poorly mixed and generic album was made that was basically forgotten rip offs of some sucky Blue Oyster Cult tunes. They made 5 more albums just like this. Eddie adopted a black kid, spawned a F A T kid and their singer went bald.


    The rest would have to be filler.
    You left out the brown M&Ms part.

  3. #363
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    Anyone can write a book about Van Halen. Let's see...



    Chapter 1:

    About what, early 70's, two brothers, one Jew and one half-Jew got together to form a band. For the most part, they sucked. They were lazy, uneducated, unemployed, but loved pussy and free beer. They would gig most anywhere for pussy and beer but after awhile could no discern which was more stale. Then another Jew sought an opportunity to make money off of them and sign them to a lopsided record deal. A poorly mixed and generic album was made that was basically forgotten rip offs of some sucky Blue Oyster Cult tunes. They made 5 more albums just like this. Eddie adopted a black kid, spawned a F A T kid and their singer went bald.


    The rest would have to be filler.
    I realize you are being facetious, or maybe you really are retarded. One thing Van Halen wasn't from the early 70's to 85, was lazy. Especially in the days before they made it. Maybe you should read the book. You might be surprised at the level of dedication.

  4. #364
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    Quote Originally Posted by Von Halen View Post
    I Maybe you should read the book. You might be surprised at the level of dedication.
    I know they played a lot of small gigs back in the day but I've always figured them as spoiled rich kids. I know Dave's folks were rich. Pasadena's kind of a high rent district and has been for years. I kind of assumed the Van Halens were fairly well off too.

  5. #365
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    Quote Originally Posted by cadaverdog View Post
    I know they played a lot of small gigs back in the day but I've always figured them as spoiled rich kids. I know Dave's folks were rich. Pasadena's kind of a high rent district and has been for years. I kind of assumed the Van Halens were fairly well off too.
    No, the Van Halen's were anything but wealthy. They kind of held it against Dave in the earliest days, because he did come from money. The first time Dave auditioned for them, they booted him out. It was a couple of years or so before he finally got in with them. Seriously dog, read the book. It is really fucking good, and goes into great detail what it took for these guys to make it.

  6. #366
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    Quote Originally Posted by Von Halen View Post
    No, the Van Halen's were anything but wealthy. They kind of held it against Dave in the earliest days, because he did come from money. The first time Dave auditioned for them, they booted him out. It was a couple of years or so before he finally got in with them. Seriously dog, read the book. It is really fucking good, and goes into great detail what it took for these guys to make it.
    It's been awhile since I read a book. 1990 to be exact. I had nothing better to do at the time. Read a lot of books in 1990. Mainly books by Louis L amour. That Greg dude said he thought VH would be revered like The Beatles and The Doors if they had just broken up after Roth left but I'm not buying it. Nobody would give a shit about a Van Halen movie. They just don't have the same mystique as those bands. Not many do.

  7. #367
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    I wasn't available to attend the chat... When I click on the link Sesh provided it just takes me to the home page announcement.

    Where is the contents hidden at..?
    "If you want to be a monk... you gotta cook a lot of rice...”

  8. #368
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    I seem to remember it was a fun and interesting chat and quite a few people got questions answered.

    Von is transcribing it and we will be putting it up soon.

    Cheers!

  9. #369
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    Motherfuckers don't show up to the chat, then want the transcript immediately.

    Go fuck yourself Zah!


  10. #370
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  11. #371
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    greg shoulda had the buggy
    Another one of those classic genius posts, sure to generate responses. You log on the next day to see what your witty gem has produced to find no one gets it and 2 knotheads want to stick their dicks in it... Well played, sir!!

  12. #372
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seshmeister View Post
    I thought you had gone to college not some anti-Semitic training camp.
    What anti-semiticism?

    Roth: half-Jew
    That mikey fella: Jew

    Who discovered them: a Jew.


    FACT.


    Sesh, we've been through your pseudo-intellectual/political correctness before.

  13. #373
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    What antisemitism?

    Roth: half-Jew
    That mikey fella: Jew

    Who discovered them: a Jew.


    FACT.


    Sesh, we've been through your pseudo-intellectual/political correctness before.

    You prefer they were Catholic? Muslim? Buddhists?

  14. #374
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    Quote Originally Posted by Von Halen View Post
    I realize you are being facetious, or maybe you really are retarded. One thing Van Halen wasn't from the early 70's to 85, was lazy. Especially in the days before they made it. Maybe you should read the book. You might be surprised at the level of dedication.
    Really? How many jobs did the (Jew) bass player have before becoming a multi-millionaire?

  15. #375
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    That was a good chat. The way you guys set it up was perfect for this site. We could be smartasses without the guest seeing it and getting pissed off. Greg had a pretty good sense of humor though. Can't believe Von posted my comment about Eddie's ex saying he had a small dick. She probably did though. That's why he said no comment.

  16. #376
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    What anti-semiticism?

    Roth: half-Jew
    That mikey fella: Jew

    Who discovered them: a Jew.


    FACT.

    Kristy: cunt
    Fact.

  17. #377
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    How intelligent, caffagerslob.

    I see you social worker failed in her attempt in placing you in a DBT support group.

  18. #378
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    Really? How many jobs did the (Jew) bass player have before becoming a multi-millionaire?
    How many jobs? He was a teenager playing gigs, trying to make it. Getting paid too. READ THE FUCKING BOOK! They all worked menial jobs while busting their balls to become famous.

  19. #379
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    Okay, I did some editing, and put the questions and answers mostly in order. I say mostly, because I may have missed a little. For the most part, the answers should be with the questions now. What a fucking pain in the ass!

  20. #380
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    Okay, I'll buy his fucking book

    ~geesh

  21. #381
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    Quote Originally Posted by Von Halen View Post
    Motherfuckers don't show up to the chat, then want the transcript immediately.

    Go fuck yourself Zah!

    Thanks, I appreciate the effort putting this together!!

    Had planned on being here... but a family crisis and night at the hospital interrupted my plans. Hate it when real life fucks with my fun...

  22. #382
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    I'm surprised Greg (or anybody else, really) would think that Ed and Al would work with Mike again, especially Ed. Al i could see because he looks like the more reasonable of the two, but he always follows Ed's lead. But, there really doesn't seem to be an absolute with these guys, contrary to what they say in the moment. Al in 2004: "We will never, ever, ever get back together with Dave." 2007: Van Halen announces the return of David Lee Roth - tour imminent.

    If they do ever bring Mike back i believe it will take Wolfgang convincing his dad to make it happen. The good news is that Wolfgang is one of the few (only?) people that realistically could make it happen.

  23. #383
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    Quote Originally Posted by chuckjitsu View Post
    I'm surprised Greg (or anybody else, really) would think that Ed and Al would work with Mike again, especially Ed. Al i could see because he looks like the more reasonable of the two, but he always follows Ed's lead. But, there really doesn't seem to be an absolute with these guys, contrary to what they say in the moment. Al in 2004: "We will never, ever, ever get back together with Dave." 2007: Van Halen announces the return of David Lee Roth - tour imminent.
    This was one of my favorites. Ed on DLR in Rolling Stone, April 1995:

    Listen, I don't hate the guy. I actually ran into him not that long ago when Valerie and I were walking in New York. I walked back a quarter block, and he finally turned around. He was kind of hesitant. I shook his hand. I asked him how he was doing, and he looked kind of shocked. It's like a divorce. It's over and done with. But anyone who thinks he's ever going to come back is ridiculous.
    Writing In All Proper Case Takes Extra Time, Is Confusing To Read, And Is Completely Pointless.

  24. #384
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    Quote Originally Posted by chuckjitsu View Post
    I'm surprised Greg (or anybody else, really) would think that Ed and Al would work with Mike again, especially Ed. Al i could see because he looks like the more reasonable of the two, but he always follows Ed's lead. But, there really doesn't seem to be an absolute with these guys, contrary to what they say in the moment. Al in 2004: "We will never, ever, ever get back together with Dave." 2007: Van Halen announces the return of David Lee Roth - tour imminent.

    If they do ever bring Mike back i believe it will take Wolfgang convincing his dad to make it happen. The good news is that Wolfgang is one of the few (only?) people that realistically could make it happen.
    Ah I don't think it's ever gonna happen. Ed is too damn codependent and can't get up there without his kid. Although it would be awesome if they reunited, Ed really started getting pissed off half way through the tour and said some shit about Mike in another interview and then Mike beats the dog shit out of him right there on stage. Holy hell I'd pay a thousand bucks to see that.

    So when is Ed coming over for a live chat?
    American by birth. Southern by the grace of God.


  25. #385
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    How intelligent, caffagerslob.

    I see you social worker failed in her attempt in placing you in a DBT support group.
    You certainly know a lot about social workers. I bet you and yours are on a first name basis.

  26. #386
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    Quote Originally Posted by cadaverdog View Post
    You certainly know a lot about social workers. I bet you and yours are on a first name basis.
    I wonder what the noobs here who don't post think when they read our stuff? They're probably convinced we all have social workers, live in basements, we're all F A T wannabe musicians, and we're all in the Klan

    Oops, I forgot one: all the guys in the UK are drunk most of the time too. Well, that one's true but you know what I mean.

  27. #387
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZahZoo View Post
    Thanks, I appreciate the effort putting this together!!

    Had planned on being here... but a family crisis and night at the hospital interrupted my plans. Hate it when real life fucks with my fun...
    What is it? International family crisis weekend???
    "Ya know what they say about angels... An angel is a supernatural being or spirit, usually humanoid in form, found in various religions and mythologies. Plus Roth fan boards..."- ZahZoo April 2013

  28. #388
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    Anyone can write a book about Van Halen. Let's see...



    Chapter 1:

    About what, early 70's, two brothers, one Jew and one half-Jew got together to form a band. For the most part, they sucked. They were lazy, uneducated, unemployed, but loved pussy and free beer. They would gig most anywhere for pussy and beer but after awhile could no discern which was more stale. Then another Jew sought an opportunity to make money off of them and sign them to a lopsided record deal. A poorly mixed and generic album was made that was basically forgotten rip offs of some sucky Blue Oyster Cult tunes. They made 5 more albums just like this. Eddie adopted a black kid, spawned a F A T kid and their singer went bald.


    The rest would have to be filler.
    I DARE you to post this at the Links..

  29. #389
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    Donnie, you have to be F A T and live in a basement if you have over 20,000 posts here. The more posts the F A T T E R you are and better chance of collecting disability and your Obonga health insurance.
    Last edited by WARF; 10-18-2015 at 02:04 PM.

  30. #390
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    I'm writing a book called, "Van Halen Falling: How a once mighty band got saved by a F A T kid with no stage presence"
    Last edited by WARF; 10-18-2015 at 01:57 PM.

  31. #391
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    Most certainly doesn't matter, as I'm just curious if I was doing something wrong, but how is it that everyone's name preceded their questions but mine? My phone was wigging out during the chat. Wouldn't properly refresh without jumping me around in the feed.

  32. #392
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    Quote Originally Posted by DLR Bridge View Post
    Most certainly doesn't matter, as I'm just curious if I was doing something wrong, but how is it that everyone's name preceded their questions but mine? My phone was wigging out during the chat. Wouldn't properly refresh without jumping me around in the feed.
    I saw your name on the screen when you posted.

  33. #393
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    Somebody archive our bottom pane banter in the VIP room! There was some quality stuff in there last nite

  34. #394
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    Quote Originally Posted by DONNIEP View Post
    I saw your name on the screen when you posted.

    No, I think Bridge is referring to when Von was copying all of everyone's (minus the Webbies + Greg's) questions to the top pane of the chat.... I think possibly Von just copied your question and not your name on one of them....

    Just a guess.....
    Eat Us And Smile - The Originals

    "I have a very belligerent enthusiasm or an enthusiastic belligerence. I’m an intellectual slut." - David Lee Roth

    "We are part of the, not just the culture, but the geography. Van Halen music goes along with like fries with the burger." - David Lee Roth

  35. #395
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angel View Post
    What is it? International family crisis weekend???
    Could be... the timing is definitely suspect. Especially when I have something fun planned...

    I tell ya... one more person dies on my damn birthday, that's it!!

    Good news though is Greg answered a couple questions I had, but some other smart-ass asked them.

  36. #396
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    Quote Originally Posted by Va Beach VH Fan View Post
    No, I think Bridge is referring to when Von was copying all of everyone's (minus the Webbies + Greg's) questions to the top pane of the chat.... I think possibly Von just copied your question and not your name on one of them....

    Just a guess.....
    It's a conspiracy!! It's the Klan! Ford - get to the bottom of this!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Angel View Post
    I DARE you to post this at the Links..
    If she does I will log in and argue on her side until I pass out just to watch those guys shit themselves hahahaha!!

  38. #398
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    I don't know what was worse last nite: Va posting Nice Dick or Sesh's armpit question

  39. #399
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    Quote Originally Posted by DONNIEP View Post
    I don't know what was worse last nite: Va posting Nice Dick or Sesh's armpit question

    It was my 'Ode to Paul Stanley' moment....

  40. #400
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    Quote Originally Posted by Va Beach VH Fan View Post
    It was my 'Ode to Paul Stanley' moment....
    For a minute I thought you were Warf lol

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