Jean-Luc Picard was always a fascist prick

[Kristy]

Star Trek: The Next Suckeration was always a painful watch. Thin plots, bad actors, cheesy terminology even the special effects sucked. Now I'm no "Trekkie" because those people are helpless citizens who suffer from severe social issues of sexual identity and social function - kind of like a David Lee Roth fan only with a job. Anyway, The Next Suckeration blew elephant dung out of Gene Roddenbery's asshole because of this actor/character:


"Pull my finger, Kirk!"

An alleged Shakespearian limey stage mouse with a faggy frog name. Picard was a asshole because:

1. He rarely readied his weapon systems aways wanting to talk things out. No wonder Worf always wanted to kick his ass.

2. He could have "nailed" fine Beta-Zoid prime estate pussy but choose not to because he was secretly gay for that black enginner with a Fram air filter worn as a fashion accessory or some god damn thing.

3. He was a fan of the 90s band Deep Blue Something

4. "Make it so.." is really condescending to your crew, who you know, spent a lot of money and time blowing politicians to get into Starfleet Academy.

He was a fascist because

1. He wore red which under conspiracy theorist conjecture red is the counter-color of subliminal fascism (i.e., black)

2. He told The Borg to go fuck themselves when all they wanted to do was turn the Final Frontier into another Wal-Mart shopping center so that the Ferengi and Bojaran could fill up their starships with all sorts of Chinese slave labor manufactured garbage like everyone else and instead instituted the "Federation" guidelines of their own NSA-sponsered spying and drone striking in order to crush the Romulan Empire. Yeah, we all know the Romulans are the Taliban of the 24th Century; the "terrorists", the "bad guys", the perpetual enemy pigeon-holed in a war one can never win but always keeps the "Federation of Planets" in fear.

3. He sent money to the George Zimmerman defense fund.


Fuck this. I hate having downtime in between getting high. Makes me write crap like this.

[vandeleur]

For a non Trekkie you seem pretty well informed

[Kristy]

I get wasted and watch a lot of reruns.

[vandeleur]

Surely Star Trek must be cool when your shit faced

[FORD]

It's not fair to the Romulans to compare them to the Taliban. The Taliban are religious zealots who ban alcohol. The Romulans are assholes, but they make a blue beer that will really fuck you up

[jhale667]

It's not fair to the Romulans to compare them to the Taliban. The Taliban are religious zealots who ban alcohol. The Romulans are assholes, but they make a blue beer that will really fuck you up

Romulans know how to party. The Taliban does not party...

[Kristy]

Not really. The Next Suckeration is annoying due to really bad characters like that limey actress who talks like a Greek leprechaun.


"Hi, I have a degree in psychology and really weird off setting cleavage."

Every time she speaks makes me want to throw up. She's the Gisele Bundchen of space travel.

[jhale667]

Every time she speaks makes me want to throw up. She's the Gisele Bundchen of space travel.

[vandeleur]

Oh I thought she was hot , not tasha ya but she would get it.

[Kristy]

Women were so badly portrayed on that show. Even this ginger-haired bitch was hardly inspirational

"Yeah, I performed many a back alley abortion. Why you asking? You want your uterus photon torpedoed? I can do that."

I take it she is the medical physician but really comes off as a 40-something cougar more horny than a rhinoceros at a petting zoo. Gawd, this show sucked.

[vandeleur]

I'll be honest your selling it well, I just thought you hated the Limeys

[Kristy]

No, limeys hate me.

[vandeleur]

All of them or specific ones , oh have we did this before ?

[Kristy]

It's global. I'm hated everywhere. Ask around.

[Nickdfresh]

Romulans know how to party. The Taliban does not party...

The Taliban once had a dance party, but had to kill everyone for dancing...

[Seshmeister]

3. He sent money to the George Zimmerman defense fund.

Where did you get that bullshit idea from?

Stewart always seems like a nice bloke.

[Seshmeister]

He was also in one of the funniest scenes ever...

[Kristy]

Where did you get that bullshit idea from?

Um, sarcasm? Fictional character? Lay off the booze, Sesh. It's making you out to be far too serious for your own good.

[chefcraig]

He was also in one of the funniest scenes ever...

The truth is, the show blew chunks all over the dashboard in it's early years, but dramatically improved toward near perfection during 1991-1992 (for instance Darmok and The Inner Light, two of the finest moments in ST history). Plus, the expanded view of the holodeck brought about some inspired writing, including Barkley's misadventures and a few encounters with James Moriarty of Sherlock Holmes infamy. The expansion of the Klingon mythology was also cool as shit, with Warf letting his hair down (literally) and looking like a total rock star.

[jhale667]

Yeah, the show did get WAY more watchable in the latter years...

[sadaist]

I get wasted and watch a lot of reruns.

LOL yeah. I wanna spend a week at your place and get wasted and zone out complaining at the TV the whole time. We would be like these two...

[sadaist]

First couple episodes of Picard I saw I hated him. As I really started to watch & the more I saw, I became a huge fan. He was really a great actor and captain. One thing that bothered me was how he had those deep feelings of love & commitment. Such a gentleman when he shoulda been pounding puss across the galaxy.

Set phazer to facial.

[chefcraig]

Set phazer to facial.

Sweet Jesus, what a brilliant line, right up there with Dennis Miller's (back when he was humorous) idea of a "melancholy" setting.

Bones: "Jim, what are we doing with our lives?"

[vandeleur]

[QUOTE=sadaist;1797241

Set phazer to facial.[/QUOTE]

That's killed the thread any thing after that's an anti climax

[DLR Bridge]

The truth is, the show blew chunks all over the dashboard in it's early years, but dramatically improved toward near perfection during 1991-1992 (for instance Darmok and The Inner Light, two of the finest moments in ST history). Plus, the expanded view of the holodeck brought about some inspired writing, including Barkley's misadventures and a few encounters with James Moriarty of Sherlock Holmes infamy. The expansion of the Klingon mythology was also cool as shit, with Warf letting his hair down (literally) and looking like a total rock star.

Agreed, and much like the X-Files, they couldn't make a movie one fraction as good as one of their better episodes. Some shows are just not able to make the leap from boob tube to silver screen.

[Seshmeister]

The truth is, the show blew chunks all over the dashboard in it's early years, but dramatically improved toward near perfection during 1991-1992 (for instance Darmok and The Inner Light, two of the finest moments in ST history). Plus, the expanded view of the holodeck brought about some inspired writing, including Barkley's misadventures and a few encounters with James Moriarty of Sherlock Holmes infamy. The expansion of the Klingon mythology was also cool as shit, with Warf letting his hair down (literally) and looking like a total rock star.

What wasn't cool was having the little boy on the bridge, Wesley? Jesus.

I used to wonder about the holodeck thing - you have 400 young people on a spaceship so basically it would be constantly booked out by people wanting to fuck movie stars, people from history, characters from books, their boss...

[vandeleur]

What wasn't cool was having the little boy on the bridge, Wesley? Jesus.

I used to wonder about the holodeck thing - you have 400 young people on a spaceship so basically it would be constantly booked out by people wanting to fuck movie stars, people from history, characters from books, their boss...

Or they could use it for science stuff

[Kristy]

The truth is, the show blew chunks all over the dashboard in it's early years, but dramatically improved toward near perfection during 1991-1992 (for instance Darmok and The Inner Light, two of the finest moments in ST history).

Oh, bull-fucking-shit! That show blew chucks all during its run. Sure, the intentions were good such as placing women in more prominent roles such as doctors, admirals, heads of state but it never developed them beyond that point. The rest was basic multiculturalism/political correctness 101 with every cliche written in for good measure. The character of Picard was boring. The writers had to have been bored with him, too. Instead of roaming the galaxy like a true space cowboy trying to get his dick wet on any green piece of pussy he could find, he opted for the quiet, patriarchal "father figure" and one-dimensional "cultured" intellectual. Picard became a one-trick pony and the show suffered as a result.

[LoungeMachine]

I liked the one with the whales.....



That's all I got.

[vandeleur]

I liked the ones with q in. Thought it was good when he joined the breaking bad cast ... I remember saying he was a good addition to the cast hopefully he would be in it long term . Yeah didnt see that coming lol

[DLR Bridge]

I agree that Picard was a bit too perfect and righteous, but I don't think it cost the show anything in the ratings. He was what people came to expect in a captain (in the ultra-PC early '90s). I think, like most series, it picked up steam, peaked, then started to nose dive. That fucking episode with Q (a once great villain) and the cast in a Robinhood setting?? WTF??? Oh, the writers had a field day with that one. "I am NOT a MERRY MAN!!" said Worf. Uhhgg.

[Seshmeister]

Oh, bull-fucking-shit! That show blew chucks all during its run. Sure, the intentions were good such as placing women in more prominent roles such as doctors, admirals, heads of state but it never developed them beyond that point. The rest was basic multiculturalism/political correctness 101 with every cliche written in for good measure.

You can't have it both ways.

Pretending that in the future women would be in so many prominent roles was fanciful political correctness.

In real life you guys clearly don't have the emotional stability for that kind of thing.

[TFM_Dale]

I think you all should be banned for discussing star trek the next generation, you bunch of homos!

[TFM_Dale]

Seriously, the soccer thread isn't gay enough?

[chefcraig]

Oh, bull-fucking-shit! That show blew chucks all during its run. Sure, the intentions were good such as placing women in more prominent roles such as doctors, admirals, heads of state but it never developed them beyond that point. The rest was basic multiculturalism/political correctness 101 with every cliche written in for good measure. The character of Picard was boring. The writers had to have been bored with him, too. Instead of roaming the galaxy like a true space cowboy trying to get his dick wet on any green piece of pussy he could find, he opted for the quiet, patriarchal "father figure" and one-dimensional "cultured" intellectual. Picard became a one-trick pony and the show suffered as a result.

Look, I pretty much agree with ya. The notion of the swaggering, drink at hand and reckless space captain was replaced by a "Father Knows Best" sitcom idea of a patriarch roaming somewhat cluelessly through the galaxies, with ill-fitting clothes he always had to tug downward.

But when you throw enough shit against the wall, some of it inadvertently tends to stick. The episodes and characterizations I mentioned only make up a fragment of the show's output (somewhere roughly in the 5% range), yet stand out head and shoulders above the rest of the dreck produced.

And the less said of the nausea-inducing Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Voyager (the captain was formerly known as Mrs. Columbo, and sounded oddly enough like a conehead from SNL), and Star Trek: Enterprise, all the better.

[Kristy]

Then there was the robot:

da fuck yood be tulking 'bout, Willis?"

Data was the failed attempt at a Spock counterpart. A high-functioning intellectual albino wastetoid who allegedly has no emotion but could play Brahms at the drop of a hat. His character sucked donkey ass on a New York subway, too in that it could have been more interesting but instead insulted that Asimov visionary interaction between robots and humans if robots ever acquired sentient consciousness. The producers kept him in a subservient role for "humans." Therefore. always wanted to see this character as being "died off."

[vandeleur]

Seriously, the soccer thread isn't gay enough?

Please see previous fuck off posts

[Kristy]

You can't have it both ways.

Pretending that in the future women would be in so many prominent roles was fanciful political correctness.

In real life you guys clearly don't have the emotional stability for that kind of thing.

It was pandering. Plain and simple. Maybe Roddenberry (who was still alive when the Next Suckeration was in production) might have been branded as being a sexist creep and maybe he was highly criticized for "objectifying" women in the days of Kirk but those were far more interesting than any politically correct female doctor.


Star Trek women were meant to be sexy, not dull and overly emotional. There really wasn't one memorable and/or likable character on The Next Suckeration. Not one.

[Coyote]

Fuck y'all and your Trek...

[Seshmeister]

I think you all should be banned for discussing star trek the next generation, you bunch of homos!