Fuck my fucking alcoholic wreck of a father.

[ELVIS]

Looks like you're out 1500 bucks then...

[FORD]

Corporate "Whole Foods" is a joke anyway...

Yes, but mostly because their CEO is a greedy teabagging son of a bitch.

[ELVIS]

I don't know about that, but it's a joke to stroll through one of the stores...

[Kristy]

Looks like you're out 1500 bucks then...

But at least I'm safe from all of those government-controlled Illuminati alien reptile/humanoid NSA social workers putting fluoride in my bong water.

[vandeleur]

Wow you can never tell when a thread will have legs .
13 pages of parenting tips , DIY advice , survivalist advice and how to score good heroin .

Covered pretty much all of life's bases this bad boy

[Seshmeister]

Listen...

I want God's will for my life...

Many believers fall away because they try to fit God into their lives and it doesn't work like that...

I did the same thing and fell away...

It's a process but I woke up, or more accurately, God woke me back up and I simply responded...

This time I'm doing it His way and that's somewhat difficult but I'm making progress...

And my wife is catching on too, so things are looking up...

A miracle! A miracle!

[Seshmeister]

I love chicken fried steak.

I had to Google it, not something I've come across.

[Seshmeister]

It's OK if you snort it or smoke it, but stay away from the needles, as they are a pain in the neck to deal with. Also, purchase enough to get ya thru the evening. There isn't anything worse than running out around 1:30 AM and having to go out to buy more. It's more or less like finding yourself out of beer during the third quarter of a well matched football game. Trust me on this.

Regards,
Uncle chef.

This never came up at the interview, we really need to examine our mod recruitment process...

[ELVIS]

I had to Google it, not something I've come across.

Just the name alone should be a warning not to eat it...

[WARF]

The problem is when he's drunk, he goes from fair-minded and loveable to completley inconsiderate of others.

This all makes sense now.

I am your father!

[ELVIS]

How inconsiderate of you...

[Von Halen]

I will never speak to the fucker again. I honestly don't give a fuck if he was the one that introduced me to my favorite bands, what he did to me last night was un-fucking called for.

What, he asked you to get off your lazy fucking entitled ass, and help him?

Yesterday, right when I was watching The Legend Of Korra (my new favorite show) my dad bursts into my room, tells me to shut the TV off right in the middle of a good part, not even during a commercial break, right smack in the middle of a good part. So I ask him "Why" in which he proceeds to give me a hard time, but he finally tells me that he wants to take the air conditioner out of my room.

Oh, sorry. Did Daddy interrupt your tv show, you fucking spoiled little self entitled brat? How dare him!

Really? He had to pick NOW? Why couldn't he have done it in the afternoon when I could actually help him? He loves scotch and I already knew he was fucking ossified. So I storm out my room in anger because I'm missing my TV show, and also to give him some space. The fucker has the nerve to tell me "You know what? Fuck you, Francesco! You're a worthless peice of shit!"

Couldn't have done it in the afternoon, when you could actually help him? Why the fuck couldn't you help him when he asked? Because of your PRECIOUS FUCKING TV SHOW?? Are you fucking kidding me? You storm out of your room like the spoiled brat little bitch you are? That'll show him! He's right, you are a fucking piece of shit. That statement pissed you off for one reason. Because you know it's true.

I hit the roof. I hit the god-damned motherfucking roof when he said that, the fact that he kicked me out of my room in the middle of my TV show, It pissed me off, but I could forgive that. The fact that he called me a peice of shit was a whole another fucking ball game. So I screamed "FUCK YOU!" And soon I yelled that, he came charging twoard's me like a fucking deranged gorilla, backed me in a corner and began to fucking strangle me.

Instead of taking the high road, biting your tongue, and HELPING your Dad, you "hit the roof" and yell "FUCK YOU". Brilliant response. Oh, Daddy kicked you out of your (his) room in the middle of your tv show. Waaaaa. It pissed you off. Waaaa. The biggest mistake your Dad made during this portion of the clusterfuck, is not finishing the choke out.

Now, lets get one thing straight, I may seem like an emotional pushover, but I can be one tough motherfucker when I want to be. I wasn't going to let him get any real hits in, So I stood my ground put up a fight. Even though he was pulling the shit out of my hair, I fought back and remained standing. It got so bad, our fighting, that my mother had to come in and break it up. That was last night and the two of us are still not talking.

Yeah, you're a real tough 20 year old. One that acts like a fucking 2 year old. Still not talking? Your UNGRATEFUL punk ass should be on the fucking street. But we all know why you're not. You are a Momma's boy. Mommy is "protecting" you. I'm sure it pains her greatly, to know you're a self entitled spoiled fucking twat. But she'll protect you anyway. That's what Mom's do.

The problem with my dad is that he is a fucking alcoholic with a short fuse (probably where I get it from) And before he started taking Zoloft, he used to punch walls, throw shit, and get into the WORST verbal fights with my mother. He never laid a hand on her, mind you. But he did lay a hand on me. Today was actually a rarity where he was an angry drunk, usually he's the kind of drunk that conks out from the alcohol on the couch and that's it for the night. Mom and Dad's marriage has hit an absolute low point and definitley forsee a possible divorce in the future.

Your Dad is an alcoholic? And you know this how? Did you learn that from your tv show? You don't know shit. You are a self entitled 20 year old fucking PUNK. You have no right, or enough experience with anything in life, to diagnose your Dad as an alcoholic. That is nothing more than your opinion. You might want to take your own inventory. Yeah, that's right. That's what the true alcoholics call it. Taking inventory. Instead of blaming, and using your Dad as an excuse, why don't you fucking take a look at yourself in the mirror. Ask yourself how you can be a better man. (Even though you act like a 2 year old little boy) Ask yourself how you could have prevented this blow up. Ask yourself why you got pissed and stormed out when Daddy asked you to help him, in the middle of a FUCKING TV SHOW!!! And while you are taking your own inventory, ask yourself if a big part of the tension between your Mom and Dad, have to do with you. You probably won't like your own answer, but maybe it will help you look at things differently, and take different actions.

I don't know how long this silent treatement will go on for. All I know is that I will never say anything to him anymore. He feels the same way too, except for a few hours ago, when he refused to give me gas money so I can go to my Sunday class he said "You want gas money, talk to your mother. By the way, I just want to let you know that you are a loser and you deserved everything that happened to you last night." Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha FUCK YOU!

And then after all this, he refuses to give you gas money!!!! How fucking dare he not give the SPOILED SELF ENTITLED JOBLESS FUCKING TWAT OF A BRAT, gas money. How fucking dare he. But, just as he stated, he knows you will go right to your weak codependent Mommy, and she'll gladly enable your lack of respect and motivation, by handing you over your Dad's hard earned cash.

Honestly, my mother is my fucking savior. She is one hell of a woman and despite the fact that sometimes we fight, I will always love and respect her.

She's not a savior. She's an enabler. She is enabling you to continue acting like a self entitled little bitch. She is promoting your lack of motivation to help yourself. And guess what? Your Dad is disgusted by it. Next time he has a few drinks, ask him. You know you'll get an honest answer if the booze is talking with him. Your Dad is disgusted by both of you. But, he wants pussy, so he tolerates it. Drinking is his escape from the reality of the dysfunction you and your Mom are causing. It's time for you to grow up and be a man. Get a fucking job. Take some of the burden off of your parents. Quit acting like a spoiled bitch. Help out, WHEN THEY NEED IT, not when it's convenient for you. Get your act together, and maybe your Dad, and your Mom, will get theirs together too. Just imagine how much stress you could relieve from them if you'd act like a fucking man, for the first time in your life.

[Angel]

This all makes sense now.

I am your father!

He said his father was an alcoholic, not a psychotic freak.

[vandeleur]

This all makes sense now.

I am your father!

You have to read that in a james earl jones voice

[Angel]

What, he asked you to get off your lazy fucking entitled ass, and help him?



Oh, sorry. Did Daddy interrupt your tv show, you fucking spoiled little self entitled brat? How dare him!

[/color]

Couldn't have done it in the afternoon, when you could actually help him? Why the fuck couldn't you help him when he asked? Because of your PRECIOUS FUCKING TV SHOW?? Are you fucking kidding me? You storm out of your room like the spoiled brat little bitch you are? That'll show him! He's right, you are a fucking piece of shit. That statement pissed you off for one reason. Because you know it's true.

[/color]

Instead of taking the high road, biting your tongue, and HELPING your Dad, you "hit the roof" and yell "FUCK YOU". Brilliant response. Oh, Daddy kicked you out of your (his) room in the middle of your tv show. Waaaaa. It pissed you off. Waaaa. The biggest mistake your Dad made during this portion of the clusterfuck, is not finishing the choke out.

[/color]

Yeah, you're a real tough 20 year old. One that acts like a fucking 2 year old. Still not talking? Your UNGRATEFUL punk ass should be on the fucking street. But we all know why you're not. You are a Momma's boy. Mommy is "protecting" you. I'm sure it pains her greatly, to know you're a self entitled spoiled fucking twat. But she'll protect you anyway. That's what Mom's do.

[/color]

Your Dad is an alcoholic? And you know this how? Did you learn that from your tv show? You don't know shit. You are a self entitled 20 year old fucking PUNK. You have no right, or enough experience with anything in life, to diagnose your Dad as an alcoholic. That is nothing more than your opinion. You might want to take your own inventory. Yeah, that's right. That's what the true alcoholics call it. Taking inventory. Instead of blaming, and using your Dad as an excuse, why don't you fucking take a look at yourself in the mirror. Ask yourself how you can be a better man. (Even though you act like a 2 year old little boy) Ask yourself how you could have prevented this blow up. Ask yourself why you got pissed and stormed out when Daddy asked you to help him, in the middle of a FUCKING TV SHOW!!! And while you are taking your own inventory, ask yourself if a big part of the tension between your Mom and Dad, have to do with you. You probably won't like your own answer, but maybe it will help you look at things differently, and take different actions.

[/color]

And then after all this, he refuses to give you gas money!!!! How fucking dare he not give the SPOILED SELF ENTITLED JOBLESS FUCKING TWAT OF A BRAT, gas money. How fucking dare he. But, just as he stated, he knows you will go right to your weak codependent Mommy, and she'll gladly enable your lack of respect and motivation, by handing you over your Dad's hard earned cash.

[/color]

She's not a savior. She's an enabler. She is enabling you to continue acting like a self entitled little bitch. She is promoting your lack of motivation to help yourself. And guess what? Your Dad is disgusted by it. Next time he has a few drinks, ask him. You know you'll get an honest answer if the booze is talking with him. Your Dad is disgusted by both of you. But, he wants pussy, so he tolerates it. Drinking is his escape from the reality of the dysfunction you and your Mom are causing. It's time for you to grow up and be a man. Get a fucking job. Take some of the burden off of your parents. Quit acting like a spoiled bitch. Help out, WHEN THEY NEED IT, not when it's convenient for you. Get your act together, and maybe your Dad, and your Mom, will get theirs together too. Just imagine how much stress you could relieve from them if you'd act like a fucking man, for the first time in your life.

Leave the counselling to the experts shitstain...

[ELVIS]

Who the hell is Korra ??

[ELVIS]

Leave the counselling to the experts shitstain...

Like who, you ??

Anger Angel ??

[ELVIS]

He said his father was an alcoholic, not a psychotic freak.

There's a difference ??

[Von Halen]

Leave the counselling to the experts shitstain...

I bet I have more expertise in this area, than you do. You can't even figure out what the fuck you want to do when you grow up, you 50 year old twat.

[WARF]

He said his father was an alcoholic, not a psychotic freak.

Leave me alone mom.

Can't you see I'm fucking busy!

[Von Halen]

Who the hell is Korra ??

Korra The Explorer. I think this douchebag is learning Spanish.

[TFM_Dale]

Uh oh, someone pissed in Von's Post Toasties lol. I'm still drinking coffee and you are off and running, I really am getting old lol.

[Angel]

I bet I have more expertise in this area, than you do. You can't even figure out what the fuck you want to do when you grow up, you 50 year old twat.

That's where you're wrong...I'll never grow up. :p

[Angel]

There's a difference ??

You've got a valid point there...

[Angel]

Leave me alone mom.

Can't you see I'm fucking busy!

From what I hear...rumours flying around Jukebox Hero and VHND...

[ELVIS]

Uh oh, someone pissed in Von's Post Toasties lol. I'm still drinking coffee and you are off and running, I really am getting old lol.

Coffee was three hours ago...

[Angel]

I bet I have more expertise in this area, than you do. You can't even figure out what the fuck you want to do when you grow up, you 50 year old twat.

I suggest then that you get with the times. PIE and empowerment.

[ELVIS]

Get with the times ??

Blasphemy !!

[TFM_Dale]

Coffee was three hours ago...

I said still drinking coffee, I have been at work since 5

[Angel]

I said still drinking coffee, I have been at work since 5

You have to explain to him what this thing you call work is...

[chefcraig]

I said still drinking coffee, I have been at work since 5

Mountain Dew, a Pay Day bar and nicotine, the breakfast of champions!

[Angel]

Get with the times ??

Blasphemy !!

Lol...you going Muslim on us now?

[ELVIS]

I said still drinking coffee, I have been at work since 5

Sucks to be you...

[ELVIS]

Mountain Dew, a Pay Day bar and nicotine, the breakfast of champions!

More like, lucky to still be breathing...

Hey, there's a 50% monthly premium penalty for smoking in the Obombascaretax...

[ELVIS]

Lol...you going Muslim on us now?

certainly not...

[chefcraig]

More like, lucky to still be breathing...

Hey, there's a 50% monthly premium penalty for smoking in the Obombascaretax...

Luck has little to do with it. If it don't kill ya, it only makes ya stronger. And the worst part of this Obooba-scare thing is going to be having to explain how the internet works to dullards and shut-ins at my work place, so they can qualify for the despicable concept in the first place.

[Kristy]

Mountain Dew, a Pay Day bar and nicotine, the breakfast of champions!

For my Breakfast of Champions I'm doing 1/3 gram black tar heroin, 9 softgel D3-5000IU (taken rectally), 3 day-old oatmeal with Canadian Mist, and marijuana tea.

It makes me hear voices in my head that Don Henley is not that big of an asshole.

[chefcraig]

It makes me hear voices in my head that Don Henley is not that big of an asshole.

Which is more or less like saying that Liberace is more macho than Richard Simmons.

[TFM_Dale]

Sucks to be you...

Naaaaaa, I am actually happy, thankful to have a secure job during these fucked up times.

[ELVIS]

I hear that...