Verily...
Verily...
You gotta admit, I was a stone cold pimp in that snake suit!Originally Posted by ELVIS
Eternally Under the Authority of Satan
Did it look anything like this?You gotta admit, I was a stone cold pimp in that snake suit!
American by birth. Southern by the grace of God.
Son of a bitch. How did Eddie get his hands on that????
Kareem Abdul Jabbar must be psychic. The whore was already on tv today saying she didn't leak the tapes it must have been one of her friends. Bullshit. She recorded that shit for a reason. Blackmail. Sterling said he should have just paid the bitch off. Now she says he should issue a public apology for things he said in private to a whore. Fuck that whore. She's no innocent victim. According to her he's been saying that kind of shit all along but it didn't seem to bother her before this. The NBA made the right decision about banning him but alot of these people who are calling him a racist are racists themselves.
I wonder what attracted her to the 80 year old billionaire...
Excellent!
Don't forget about the incest with Adam and Eve's kids having to fuck each other to increase the population!
Well...
It's not my problem if you don't believe the word of God...
But it's that very word that you will be judged by when the time God has given you runs out...
And that's just around the corner for all of us...
Shite , Really how soon ?? I have some big decisions to make with the house . Should I just drink the money ?
fuck your fucking framing
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
I sure hope not...... Hell's infrastructure budget is off the charts right now as it is. I don't need several billion of you mortal meatbags dropping in all at once.Well...
It's not my problem if you don't believe the word of God...
But it's that very word that you will be judged by when the time God has given you runs out...
And that's just around the corner for all of us...
I think my next alias will be Angel of Light...
Next alias? What are your others?
Fuck that! Get your own alias. I hold the copyright on that one.
No you don't...
Plus you portray the devil as some liberal Mickey Mouse like character...
It ain't like that, FROD...
I'm not Liberal, and neither is Mickey Mouse. Trust me on that one - Walt and I were talking about that just the other day. Yeah, his body was frozen, but his soul went to a much warmer place. And that was before the company he created became the corporate behemoth it is today.
You're so full of crap...
Well, there's the Warf alias. And then there's me. And a few others.
That's not incest! That's sexy!
The religious reich misinterpretation of scripture that always cracks me up is the whole Sodom & Gomorrah thing.
They want you to believe that my Former Employer was SO pissed off at a couple of gay guys that He nuked all of Sodom county over this (and the story never does tell us exactly what Gomorrah did, in either case).
Yet the only survivors of this local holocaust (or homocaust, if you believe the right wing interpretation) is an old guy named Lot and his two teenage daughters. (Mrs. Lot made it out of the city, but then she made a dumb move and turned into a big salt shaker).
So then Lot's daughters.... who aren't named in the scripture, but let's call them Jenna & Tonic for the sake of argument... get the brilliant idea to get dear old dad shitfaced and fuck his brains out because.... well you know he got our boyfriends killed and some stuff.
So gay sex bad, drunken incest good. That's really the "moral" lesson you want to go with??
So, we're supposed to believe the faux devil's lies about the Bible ???
Hahahahahahaha...
Tell us another one...
Actually, that's not correct....
After Cain bashed his brother Abel's skull in, my Former Employer told him to get his ass out of Eden, so he went east to a place called Nod, where he "knew" his wife.
Right there, that tells you two things....
1) There was somewhere to go besides Eden, where Adam & Eve's family was. It was called "Nod".
2) There were already people in Nod, and some sort of civilization, before Cain showed up. One of those people being the chick that he married.
Of course that kinda throws a monkey wrench into the whole idea of ALL human life originating from Adam & Eve. But maybe that was never the point of the story to begin with.
The Bible was never meant to tell the story of all people.... just one particular group of people, with the Old Testament being the history of JC's earthly ancestors, and the New Testament starting off with JC Himself and continuing with His followers after He went back upstairs.
Of course, I'm featured in both testaments. But that's just how a Devil rolls......
And which parts of my retelling of the S&G story differ from what the Scripture says, Mr Presley?So, we're supposed to believe the faux devil's lies about the Bible ???
Hahahahahahaha...
Tell us another one...
That would be the greatest band name ever...
Death metal, of course. Probably founded by a member of the Phelps family.
Nope I was in a cover band called the Mary hinge experience . That is the greatest name
What group would that be ??
All of it...
You try to relate today's liberal social agenda to the Bible...
Now that is a good point.
No kidding.
Read what I said there again, Mr. Presley.
In short, it's basically JC's family history, and in a larger context, the Jews, since that's the tribe He came from.
But obviously my Former Employer put some other people on the planet as well, since (as I said) Cain had some other place to go, there was a woman there to marry him, and my Former Employer "marked" Cain, so the folks there wouldn't kill him. Which would not have been necessary if the only other people on Earth were his mommy and daddy, since they already knew what he looked like.
Hey, if you want to debate the merits of the 25th chapter of Matthew, you'll have to take that up with JC.
Those are His words, not mine!
Never really looked into who Adam and Eve's kids banged but Noah banged his daughters after they got him drunk. I'm not sure if they waited till they were on shore or not. Whatever happened before that is a moot point because they were the only people who were left alive after the 40 day rainstorm.
If you think about it Adam and Eve might have just told their sons they were the first human beings to keep them from going off and looking for other people. Maybe Cain and Abel were somebody elses kids but they didn't know it. That's what happened on Lost.
No, that was Lot's daughters. Noah and Mrs. Noah only had sons, and they were married by the time of the big boat ride.
There was an incident after the boat ride where Noah was all shitfaced and passed out where his son Ham "saw him naked". There's nothing explicitly that said he had sex with his father, but whatever happened, Noah was really pissed and told my Former Employer that Ham needed a bigtime curse because of it. And old mister Ham got kicked out of the family.
And maybe that's why that piece of meat that comes from a pig's butt came to be known as a "Ham". Because pigs in general are unclean to Jews... so the dirtiest part of the dirty animal.... yeah, let's name it after Noah's kid who got cursed out.
That doesn't make sense because the story I heard that was supposedly in the bible said Noahs daughters got him drunk so he'd impregnate them to repopulate the earth. Whoever told me the story might be full of shit but that's the story I heard. But then again they used to pull that men shouldn't have long hair according to the bible bullshit but they left out the part after that that says if you disagree then go ahead and wear it long. After I read that and confronted the youth pastor of the church with it he called me a trouble maker. The same guy threatened me when I was a few years younger after arguing about rock and roll. I showed him the lyrics to the Black Sabbath song Lord of this World and asked him what he thought of them. He liked it until I told him it was a Black sabbath song. He threatened to punch me but he was afraid my father would kill him if he did. I was only 14 or 15 and this jerkoff was 20 something. People like him are the reason I haven't been inside a church since I was 18 other than to lay carpet.
E- Jesus . Playing both sides because he didnt understand the argument in the first place
Yeah, they were definitely full of shit. Here's the Lot story from Genesis 19 featuring his daughters Jenna & Tonic.....
29 And it came to pass, when God destroyed the cities of the plain, that God remembered Abraham, and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow, when he overthrew the cities in the which Lot dwelt.
30 And Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar: and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters.
31 And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth:
32 Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.
33 And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
34 And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.
35 And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
36 Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.
37 And the first born bare a son, and called his name Moab: the same is the father of the Moabites unto this day.
38 And the younger, she also bare a son, and called his name Benammi: the same is the father of the children of Ammon unto this day.
Now on the other horn, here's the story of the Noah incident. You will note that no daughters are mentioned, because Noah didn't have any. Just three sons.......
So this is where the Land of Canaan came from. As well as that ham you ate for Easter......17 And God said unto Noah, This is the token of the covenant, which I have established between me and all flesh that is upon the earth.
18 And the sons of Noah, that went forth of the ark, were Shem, and Ham, and Japheth: and Ham is the father of Canaan.
19 These are the three sons of Noah: and of them was the whole earth overspread.
20 And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:
21 And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.
22 And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.
23 And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness.
24 And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.
25 And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.
26 And he said, Blessed be the Lord God of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.
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