Kristy Reviews The Remastered Zep II

[ELVIS]

Hell no they're not Liberals...

Liberals are killing this country...

[ODShowtime]

I know this probably isn't the right place to post this... but I got my LZ II remaster last night and it fucking rocks. So much bass. I never had a clean LP for this one and I'm loving it.

[ELVIS]

Much better than the Krustranny review...

[Mushroom]

I know this probably isn't the right place to post this... but I got my LZ II remaster last night and it fucking rocks. So much bass. I never had a clean LP for this one and I'm loving it.

Don't worry, it's a good place to counterpoint Krusty's scatter brained reviews! It takes Krusty 4 paragraphs to say what a normal person can say in 1 paragraph.

Krusty I love you!

[Mushroom]

Back in the day before internet downloading, there were only limited means to getting your hands on bootlegs... with luck at a record shop, through the mail via record collector magazines, or record conventions. Any bootleg was at least 15 u.s. dollars, usually more. And usually a crappy recording. Buy through the mail, you will probably get a cassette tape.

Here today you can buy a remastered CD with rarities for less than $15. That's actually quite a deal, especially if you never forked over the cash for bootlegs.

[Kristy]

There are no rarities on that CD, dumbass.

[Mushroom]

There are no rarities on that CD, dumbass.

Uh yes they are (were) dear to millions of people as opposed to the 100,000s who download mp3

[Kristy]

Um, no there isn't. And you're still a dumbass.

[Anonymous]

Kristy, nevermind the Zep fags. It's about time *I* get reviewed by you.

Unless you've let Von Halen touch you, in which case I'll want nothing to do with it. Lord knows where HE's been.

Cheers!

[Kristy]

Von can be found hanging around at Smellvis' trailer park.

[Anonymous]

You know what, Kristy? While I was away, I missed you & the acidic, sarcastic tone with which you often post around here.

You're quite probably the best poster on the site, based on entertainment value alone.

Cheers!

[Kristy]

Were you in jail?

[Anonymous]

Were you in jail?

No. Well, I mean, yes, but it didn't feel like it. I got myself a small boned, effeminate young man, put him under a Hannah Montana wig, & made him speak like an Asian girl all the time.

Days went past really quickly & since life was good, I kept myself out of trouble, so I got time off for good behaviour.

Now I'm trying to get back in.

And how have you been?

Cheers!

[FORD]

Liberals are killing this country...

Really now?

And how exactly are Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Dennis Kucinich, Thom Hartmann, Mike Malloy, and myself "killing" this country?

Because I KNOW damn well that you know better than to believe that Barry Obama is a Liberal. Or your big oil slut "Senator" for that matter. No wonder they can't get rid of Vitter..... hard to condemn him for fucking whores when Landrieu IS one.

[Kristy]

And how have you been?

Cheers!

I'm on a campaign to see if Smellvis will find himself a job. Looks bleak. After all, he has no education, social skills or motivation. No doubt he'll end up in jail or homeless. Either way, who cares?

[Kristy]

And how exactly are Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Dennis Kucinich, Thom Hartmann, Mike Malloy, and myself "killing" this country?

Oh, I don't know. Probably it's due to shattering Smellvis' little world that you have to work fucking hard to get anywhere in life. Smellvis here believes life owes him something and that "opportunities" will simply present themselves if he sits all day long at his computer spewing off racist, anti-Obama shit. Smellvis doesn't want his right to laziness, xenophobia and racism to ever be killed no, he wants you to believe in the same warped bullshit as him. Because, fuck knows Alex Jone$ is never going to give him a job, nor will anyone else for that matter. But Smellvis needs someone to blame for his misery and blame he does. No doubt all of his targets are soft like the space between his ears but you see, the more he continues to blame the less need for any personal responsibly becomes manifest in his life. So go on, keep on killing this country for that really should not matter to Smellvis, he has no way to realistically survive even if you did.

[Anonymous]

I'm on a campaign to see if Smellvis will find himself a job. Looks bleak. After all, he has no education, social skills or motivation. No doubt he'll end up in jail or homeless. Either way, who cares?

I care. I don't want E. muscling in on MY little "Asian girls". I mean, he's a cool dude & all, but it's hos before bros in there. 'Cuz if you're too much of a bro, you might end up being a ho.

Cheers!

[Kristy]

You know, I don't think Smellvis even likes girls - or people for that matter. Doing that would require some effort on his part

[Anonymous]

Wait, I thought we were all on the internet because none of us likes people.

Sure, they're needed to keep services running to at least a bare minimum, but does that mean they should be tolerated?

What next? Where will the madness stop?

Cheers!

[Kristy]

Well, technically Zeppelin fans are not people.

[Hardrock69]

Neither is Smelvis.....he is some sort of troglodyte who escaped from a government lab where they were conducting top-secret experiments trying to cross a chimpanzee with a barrel of old used condoms.
He was deemed a failure at the lab, and was about to be put down, when a lab assistant gave in to his constant begging to be ass-raped, and after the dirty deed, the lab assistant passed out, allowing Smelvis to steal his keys and escape.

[VetteLS5]

No. Well, I mean, yes, but it didn't feel like it. I got myself a small boned, effeminate young man, put him under a Hannah Montana wig, & made him speak like an Asian girl all the time

WARF said he moved and got sober???

[DONNIEP]

WARF said he moved and got sober???

You fell for that shit? Hahahahahaha

[DONNIEP]

No. Well, I mean, yes, but it didn't feel like it. I got myself a small boned, effeminate young man, put him under a Hannah Montana wig, & made him speak like an Asian girl all the time.

Cheers!

I told you - once you go Miley you don't ever come back!

[ashstralia]

I got myself a small boned, effeminate young man, put him under a Hannah Montana wig, & made him speak like an Asian girl all the time.
Days went past really quickly & since life was good, I kept myself out of trouble, so I got time off for good behaviour.
Now I'm trying to get back in.

This is actually true!

[Anonymous]

I told you - once you go Miley you don't ever come back!

Actually, they had a sale on Hanna Montana wigs in there. Apparently, it's a popular model for your Prison Wife, or in this case, "Thai Ladyboy".

Look, I told you already, the only bit of Miley I'm interested in is her tongue. But the rest of her? I don't know where it's been, but I think I have a pretty good idea. However, I bet she knows how to use that tongue REALLY well, so I'm willing to take a chance on that.

Cheers!

[Kristy]

So Schepply IV and Body Louses Of The Moldy "Remastered" arrive this Monday at all your corporate Walmarts and welfare offices. Save your pennies from when your parents give you allowance for taking out the trash and picking up your rooms, cretins. Schepply IV may worth the remaster listen but only for one time - then destroy.

[Mushroom]

So Schepply IV and Body Louses Of The Moldy "Remastered" arrive this Monday at all your corporate Walmarts and welfare offices. Save your pennies from when your parents give you allowance for taking out the trash and picking up your rooms, cretins. Schepply IV may worth the remaster listen but only for one time - then destroy.

I can budget one less steak and lobster dinner to pay for this.

[Kristy]

Yes, give that crook Page more of your parents money.

[FORD]

[SunisinuS]

Overall, I'm giving the review a 6.5. That's still a credit; just on the low side.

Apart from the usual psycho/sexual rage there were some funny bits. Not full on chortle though, more like a snicker. I awarded extra points for the research being reasonably well done. I deducted them for not correcting 'soporific'. Come on Kman, lift your game.

It's because "she" is in "school" atm. It is being forced to write so it wrote something to please itself while it is being tested. Soon as summer comes around it will be as boring as always....or break ect. I do give it acknowledgement as it posts a crotch but I am sure on that same picture it's ass is not round and hangs down in that weird cut off line way. And no camel toe as you can see the beginnings of the pooch...or "the freshman 15" as we used to call chicks coming in and getting fat on bread at the Cafe'.

[Nitro Express]

WARF said he moved and got sober???

WARF is down to drinking 80 Proof Wild Turkey instead of the 101 Proof Wild Turkey.

[Kristy]

It's because "she" is in "school" atm. It is being forced to write so it wrote something to please itself while it is being tested. Soon as summer comes around it will be as boring as always....or break ect. I do give it acknowledgement as it posts a crotch but I am sure on that same picture it's ass is not round and hangs down in that weird cut off line way. And no camel toe as you can see the beginnings of the pooch...or "the freshman 15" as we used to call chicks coming in and getting fat on bread at the Cafe'.

If I didn't know any better I'd say you're "cyber bullying" me. Yet, you're the "victim" here.

[SunisinuS]

If I didn't know any better I'd say you're "cyber bullying" me. Yet, you're the "victim" here.

Aww Dish it out, you can take it. Let's play!



*Your shtick is getting old.

[Mushroom]

My reviews of the latest releases:

Led Zep IV ("Runes"): did not buy because I am tired of Black Dog, Stairway..., and Rock and Roll.

Houses of the Holy: officially my favorite Zep record because the entire package gets my package excited. The record contains consistently high quality performances, writing, sound quality, atmosphere. It's sexy, sleek, and timeless, wire to wire. Now my concern for this expanded remaster is the instrumental versions that will encourage drunk karaoke masters to sing to Song Remains the Same, Over the Hills and Far Away, and No Quarter.

[ashstralia]

Again I'm getting quoted out of context...

Hnh nnnhhhnhhh!

[Kristy]

My reviews of the latest releases:



Houses of the Holy: officially my favorite Zep record because the entire package gets my package excited. The record contains consistently high quality performances, writing, sound quality, atmosphere. It's sexy, sleek, and timeless, wire to wire. Now my concern for this expanded remaster is the instrumental versions that will encourage drunk karaoke masters to sing to Song Remains the Same, Over the Hills and Far Away, and No Quarter.

What in the fuck is wrong with you? That record is one of the most bloated and pretentious pieces of shit ever to be recorded.

[chefcraig]

What in the fuck is wrong with you? That record is one of the most bloated and pretentious pieces of shit ever to be recorded.

Truthfully, I like that album a great deal, mainly for the goofy tracks and the guitar work on "Song Remains The Same". But some of the shit on there...you'd need quaaludes, a bottle of Boone's Farm and a speedboat full of dope to speed up, let alone get through.

Plus, the naked kids on the cover make it somewhat questionable to use as an avatar.

[Kristy]

Plus, the naked kids on the cover make it somewhat questionable to use as an avatar.

Ah yes, 'Mouses Of The Crowley' a.k.a "The pedophile album." One could say it was a dramatic shift from Scheppley's III album of bland Appalachian wannabe folk tunes with stories of rapist Vikings and psychopaths with shotguns thrown in. Now, correct if I'm wrong but this was also around the time of Plant's castration so he could "hit the high notes" when railing on about "bussels in hedge groves" or some shit. Also changed the image of Scheppley, too. For example, here they are circa 1970 about to "shake 'em on down:


And here they are (with manager Peter Grant) around the time of 1974 or whenever that piece of shit was recorded/released:


Wow. Just...wow. Plant's lyrics became even more inane only this time he pretty much abandoned his Hobbitville nonsense for tunes about Satan and finding bridges that James Brown burned a long time ago.

I hope you know you're all idiots for thinking Scheppley ever had any validity in the first place. Shame on you!

[Kristy]

Surprised I am that not one of you cretins mentioned 'Lez Zeppelin' - another Scheppley dog & pony act to capitalize on the name and propaganda. They are about as deadpan as a "tribute" act can get. What I found to be interesting is The Plagiarist himself called them "bloody good..especially the drummer. I'm always looking at drummers." Well, I have to agree about Lez's drummer - she plays better than that F A T Jason Bonham Sandwich ever could. Check them out: