I found this while browsing a Christian message board...
Satan and his minions in the entertainment industry are very sneaky, and each year they find new ways to pervert nature and steal the innocence of youth.
You might be shocked by some of these facts about today's music:
FACT: 1 in 3 popular songs on the radio promotes abortion in one way or another.
FACT: There are almost as many songs playing on the radio about gay romance as there are straight romance.
FACT: Before the invention of rock and roll by The Beetles, you almost never, ever heard of teen pregnancy, homosexuality, abortion, teen rebellion, or school shootings.
Most young people today insist that the music they listen to is harmless, and that they don't use music as a basis for making important life decisions.
But what most people don't know is that rock and roll, rap, the techno, and disco all contain subliminal messages and Satanic rhythms designed to summon demons and cause possession, confusion, rebellion, and eventually, death.
Christians must be very careful in choosing what they allow themselves and their children to listen to, and fortunately, the church is always willing to help.
DETECTING SATANIC RHYTHMS:
Rhythm is one of the most basic elements of any song, and also the most dangerous. Certain rhythms can lead to toe-tapping, dancing, fornication, drug use, murder, and self-mutilation.
A good rule of thumb for determining the danger of a rhythm is to first measure the tempo at which it is playing. This is why Christians should always carry a portable metronome in their pocket.
Portable Metronomes Help Detect Satanic Beats.
Tempos are measured in beats per minute (BPM) and any song that clocks in at a speed of over 90 BPM should be turned off. 85 to 90 beats per minute is considered the upper limits of the margin of musical safety, and should never be exceeded.
If you find yourself listening to a song with a tempo of 666 BPM, destroy whatever instruments or devices are producing the music, and pray fervently for forgiveness and protection.
The actual rhythm of the song can be much harder to identify for Christians, since they are not used to listening to music with drums.
Drums are the most dangerous of all musical instruments, even more than the electric guitar! Drums have their roots in the dark continent of Africa where the voodoo hoodoo is just rampant. It is currently unknown to Christian scientists if it is ever safe to listen to drums or not.
Some particularly dangerous beats to look out for:
Boom boom BOP, boom boom BOP! (Also known as the Negro shuffle)
BOOM tata BOOM tata BOOM tata!
RATA tada boom boom TA! RATA tada boom boom TA!
Rhythms vary depending on the time signature of the song, that is, how many beats there are in a measure and which note receives a full beat.
The most righteous time signature is 3/4 time, which is in praise of the Holy Trinity.
There is no such thing as 3/3 time because Satanic music theorists want to prevent full glorification of the Holy Trinity.
DETECTING SATANIC LYRICS:
The purpose of music is, of course, the praise and worship of GOD. Some people might argue that music would be boring if it were all written in glorification of GOD, but those people are going to Hell.
Satanist musicians on the Highway to Hell.
As a Christian, you have little to no business listening to anything that doesn't praise GOD. But be careful! Even most modern "Christian" music is secretly a trap to corrupt you with false doctrine and Satanic rhythms!
Lyrics which contain the following words are to be strictly avoided:
"Nigga"
"Dawg"
"Cracka"
"Bounce"
"Watermelon"
"Brotha"
"Ass" (Unless in reference to donkey JESUS rode on.)
"F-word"
"Yo"
"Grill"
"Jiggle"
"Dance floor"
"Baby" (Unless immediately followed by "JESUS.")
"Kiss"
"Triple penetration"
"Fondle"
"Disco stick"
Use your good Christian judgment when listening to lyrics. No Christian has ever been too paranoid, because there is no such thing as too paranoid.
DETECTING NOTES AND CHORDS:
Melody (the tune of the song) consists of a series of notes played on an instrument. It is usually accompanied by chords, which determine the "tone" of the music, which is either happy (major chords) or sad (minor chords.)
Satan wants us to be sad, and JESUS wants us to be happy, so any song containing a minor chord is evil.
Christians should avoid any music that is played in any key except for C Major, which is the only key in which music can be played on the piano without using any of the black keys.
Only 3 Of These Are Safe For Christians!
Playing the white and black keys together on the piano is glorification of race mixing and desegregation. GOD HATES ACCIDENTALS!
CONCLUSION:
The only music that is safe for Christian enjoyment is music without drums played in the key of C without accidentals and utilizing only major chords, with a tempo no greater than 90 BPM and preferably in the meter of 3/4.
Happy listening, True Christians!
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Originally Posted by Sockfucker
