Happy Birthday, Von Halen!

[Anonymous]

I assume it's your birthday, since a Patriot like you would've REFUSED to be born on any other day of the year.

Von, like the Bald Eagle, you are a Symbol of the Greatest Country in the World, the United States of America.

You are Proud, Manly, Feathered & Magnificent.



Happy Birthday to You & Your Amazing Country.



God Bless America.

Cheers!

[ZahZoo]

I always thought he was born on April Fools Day...

[DONNIEP]

Happy Birthday to my ultra conservative kick ass pal! Even though it ain't his birthday and even though he's a crotchety old fucker, I still like the old bastard!

[Kristy]

What a dark day this is.

[DONNIEP]

What a dark day this is.

Hell no it's not. Now you turn that frown upside down, get over here to my little redneck house, we're gonna go to the Walmart and buy cheap American beer and we'll come back, put on our made in Pakistan American Flag t shirts and chase each other around the yard! And if you're real good, we'll facetime Von later on tonight.

[vandeleur]

Do do you still play banjo on ya porch

[DONNIEP]

Do do you still play banjo on ya porch

No, but we will be playing this song a hell of a lot. Especially after the 9th broonie!!

[Anonymous]

Hell no it's not. Now you turn that frown upside down, get over here to my little redneck house, we're gonna go to the Walmart and buy cheap American beer and we'll come back, put on our made in Pakistan American Flag t shirts and chase each other around the yard! And if you're real good, we'll facetime Von later on tonight.

The American Dream!

Cheers!

[Kristy]

Think I'll stick with my "additive" weed.

[Anonymous]

Kristy, it's the fourth of July. Tomorrow will be the fifth! What are the odds of THAT, eh?

Let's get naked & wrestle a bit around the bed.

Cheers!

[Kristy]

I don't "do" Euro trash

[Anonymous]

Well, neither do I. What's that got to do with anything? Now, which boots will you be wearing?

Cheers!

[Kristy]

I'm beginning to think you have a serious boot fetish.

[Anonymous]

I'm beginning to think you have a serious boot fetish.

Only if you're wearing them, I don't really give a toss about footwear otherwise.

You can be barefooted, though. I like it.

Cheers!

[vandeleur]

Would you bang her if she had croc's on or flip flops

[DONNIEP]

Would you bang her if she had croc's on or flip flops

Crocs maybe. Flip flops? Hell no. Those things send Izzy into a tizzy.

[Anonymous]

Would you bang her if she had croc's on or flip flops

I wouldn't bang ANYONE wearing crocs. Not even Cindy Crawford.

Flip flops are ok on women's feet. It's dude's feet that are disgusting. If I ruled the world, I'd force every man to dress in those burkas, or whatever they're called, wear very dark sunglasses & army boots.

Male bodies are icky. I don't mind mine, though. In fact, mine's quite SEXEH!

Cheers!

[Kristy]

Crocs are an abomination. Like Von's cake.

[vandeleur]

Crocs are the modern day chastity belt ..... Nice cake

[Kristy]

Von likes his cakes like he loves his cars.

Nice custom work.

[Anonymous]

Crocs are an abomination.

Marry me.

Cheers!

[Kristy]

I'm already married

[Anonymous]

I'm already married

What, to the whole university? You tramp! Ah, it's ok, I love you anyway. Just promise that you'll only do the kinkier stuff with me.

Cheers!

[DONNIEP]

What, to the whole university? You tramp! Ah, it's ok, I love you anyway. Just promise that you'll only do the kinkier stuff with me.

Cheers!

I have worked for months to snag this chick and here you come with your fancy talk and promises of kink. Quit talkin to my womarn!!

[vandeleur]

Kristy two charming gentlemen fighting for your honour . You must be flush with excitement .

[Anonymous]

I have worked for months to snag this chick and here you come with your fancy talk and promises of kink. Quit talkin to my womarn!!

I'll kink her like she's never been kinked before! You don't stand a chance, Donnie.

I'll make Kristy so happy she'll quit smoking. Even legal weed won't compare to the intense pleasures she'll experience with me.

I'm THAT. DAMN. GOOD.

Cheers!

[Anonymous]

Kristy two charming gentlemen fighting for your honour . You must be flush with excitement .

Nah, Kristy's probably getting high while raging at something, right now. She's probably not even aware that me & Donnie are about to fight to the death again.

Cheers!

[vandeleur]

Ima you appear to have accidentally dropped one of your gauntlets

[Anonymous]

Ima you appear to have accidentally dropped one of your gauntlets

I am NOT bending down.

Not with you & Donnie in the room.

I ain't falling for that old trick. At least, not again.

Cheers!

[DONNIEP]

I am NOT bending down.

Not with you & Donnie in the room.

I ain't falling for that old trick. At least, not again.

Cheers!

Aye, Vandy's a sneaky one! When he's got his eye on the broon nobody's safe!

[vandeleur]

Hahahaha

[ELVIS]

I wasn't aware Von was born on the 4th of Jew Lie...

Hmmm...

Like I told MoLester Funk...

Happy Boithday !!

And don't eat cake...

[Kristy]

Nah, Kristy's probably getting high while raging at something, right now. She's probably not even aware that me & Donnie are about to fight to the death again.

Cheers!

Yeah, just became baked a few minutes ago.

[Nickdfresh]

Well Von, we'll have to have a beer on your company card to celebrate!

Happy birthday you old bastard!

[lesfunk]

Happy Birthday Von. buggy bumper

[FORD]

Geezus..... you lame assed fucks can't even get birthdays right??

Fuck it.... back to my beer

[FORD]

I wasn't aware Von was born on the 4th of Jew Lie...

I wasn't either. Christ, it's bad enough I have to share a birthday with fucking George Steinbrenner. I hate the fucking Yankees.

[Anonymous]

Geezus..... you lame assed fucks can't even get birthdays right??

Fuck it.... back to my beer

Yeah, what the fuck?

Anyone who'd've bothered to read my post, which wasn't THAT long & was quite lovingly illustrated to boot would've realized this was all a gag.

But like everything else that's written on the internet, it became THE TRUTH!

Funny how only Zahzoo, you & Donnie figured it out...

Cheers!

[Nitro Express]

I wouldn't bang ANYONE wearing crocs. Not even Cindy Crawford.

Flip flops are ok on women's feet. It's dude's feet that are disgusting. If I ruled the world, I'd force every man to dress in those burkas, or whatever they're called, wear very dark sunglasses & army boots.

Male bodies are icky. I don't mind mine, though. In fact, mine's quite SEXEH!

Cheers!

I would bang Cindy Crawford even if she was wearing big ass rubber firefighter boots.

[Nitro Express]

Baby blue crocks and lime green polyester lingerie from Walmart. That's a combination that would blow my dick to Uranus.