If you were David Lee Roth for a day....

[JJtheVagPounder]

Hello, Army. Hope all is well.

So, I was hanging out with Vain the other day and we got to joking, as we often do, and a topic of conversation came up: What would you do if you if you could be David Lee Roth for a day? You wake up, stretch it out, but the difference is that you are Dave. Now, of course we respect David Lee Roth. Shit, we wouldn't be here if we didn't. But Vain and I are realists. We know what we would do if we were Dave for a day. We'd wreck shop. Reek havoc. It would probably start with the banging of groupies. I love Dave, I'd wrap it for him. But this would probably go on intermittently throughout the day. Then, I'd grab a plane and shoot over to Cabo, have a long, poignant conversation with Mr. Hagar that would either leave him in tears professing his love or punch him in the throat. I don't know! I don't know what would happen. I'd probably drink his tequila and bang his wife. I'm David Lee Roth. I do what I want. Usually in good taste, but this is an "off" day.

So while Vain and I are terrible people who would take advantage of the situation to its fullest, I'm now curious what you all would do if you were Dave for a day. Would you just go to the movies? Would you admire your nakedness? What would you get into within the boundaries of legality? Shit, what would you do OUTSIDE those boundaries? It's an age old hypothetical question. Level with me, baby....

[ThatArtGuy]

If I was Dave for a day, I wouldn't waste time on the bridge troll drone. I'd be having as much fun as possible.

TAG

[JJtheVagPounder]

Time well spent.

[VAiN]

If I was Dave in 1981 I'd see what it was like to fly and leap tall buildings and all that...

[Nitro Express]

I would want to be the young Dave right after VH was hitting it big. I pretty much would do the typical rock and roll stuff he did. One thing I would do differently is throw the room service cart out the hotel window because everyone tossed the TV. I would want to be different. I probably would drive the tour bus into the Holiday Inn swimming pool. Got to one up Kieth Moon.

[VAiN]

I probably would drive the tour bus into the Holiday Inn swimming pool. Got to one up Kieth Moon.

That's how you close out a tour!

[ZahZoo]

If it could be a specific day... I'd choose the day he originally decided to leave Van Halen and reverse that call.

But really... 1 day wouldn't cut it. A little ain't enough...

[Nitro Express]

That's how you close out a tour!

The only thing left of the hotel after the last gig would be the foundation. It would be like Titus sacking Jerusalem. Not one stone would be left upon another. Then we would throw a big party and celebrate the destruction of the hotel.

[Satan]

Well, if I was the present day Dave, I would call Michael Sobolewski up and invite him over to my Mojo Dojo in Pasadena. Then I would call up Ed & Alex and invite them over. Not telling either party that the other was invited.

When they showed up, I would lock them in a room together and tell them that nobody's leaving until they work their shit out and reunite the original band. Of course if would have to be a room with an adjoining bathroom, because nobody's leaving, not even for potty breaks.

Then I would call up Elon Musk and have him invent some jet pack shoes for me, so I could do the jumps off the old drum riser again, even if age restricts me from doing it the hard way.

[TwoFoolsAMinute]

I would do three things. One, I would record Dance The Night Away in a great Dave voice and make a video that compares this recording with the 2012 DTNA performance. I would leave that playing on a loop in Dave's house for when he turns back into himself. Two, I would leak the DLR/John 5 songs. And three, I would improve my number one fan site by demanding FORD's IP be blocked. The rest of the time I would probably just have fun.

[BITEYOASS]

I just partake in the usual hobbies that Dave had back in the day: leap drum risers, down shots of JD, smoke a joint, trash a hotel room, bang a blonde with nice tits, and end the day by getting into a "Krell War" with Ozzy.

[BITEYOASS]

I've gotta find out what late 1970's muff was like. LOL

[Nitro Express]

I've gotta find out what late 1970's muff was like. LOL

Bathe Joyce DeWitt and send her over to my tent.

[DLR Bridge]

If I could pick the day of being Dave, I'd probably go with 12/31/77. Would love to experience a blistering club days set. One that includes Just What You Wanted, No More Waiting, Bullet Head and the best version of Tattoo ever, Down In Flames. I'm sure the pre and post show nookie was none too shabby, though I'd probably turn into a pumpkin at the stroke of midnight and I imagine they played up til then.

[BenJammin]

I would write a check to BenJammin [channelling Dr. Evil here]... for one Billllion dollers !

... then I'd do the ounce of coke, bang the groupies, hang out with midgets, make prank phone calls to Haggis, etc.

And before I said my nightly prayers, I'd make an appointment to have my vocal chords looked at to see if it would be possible to bring my scream back.