= VH= on Ellen 4/2/15

[BumBahDeeDah]

I hope they do aat least three songs so Dave can nail one at least. Will they sit down on the couch? They should make Dave watch the Downtown sessions and point out the times he steps on Al. Maybe he'd be receptive and get away from that. If they interview, it'll probably be Dave by himself, or Ed and Wolf for the father/son angle.

Or I could be full of guesses.

[Seshmeister]

I love bum notes because it's real.

3:46 Brian hits a wrong note - great! It validates the rest of the performance.

Ozzy supposedly played live on the biggest chat show here promoting his last solo album a while back and he mimed to a 'live' recording with different guitar parts and reverb to the album with everything carefully pretend miked up. Fuck that!

In the midst of all this negativity about the new album we should maybe at least salute the integrity of it.

[VAiN]

I really don't want to hear Ed gush about wolf. Let's hope it's Dave.

[Romeo Delight]

You lot can be a bunch of pissy bastards sometimes.

Was this the last time Dave played live VH on TV? I have every confidence that the Van Halen's can live up to Dave's previous band...

It is pretty cool at around 2:34 onwards...

[Seshmeister]

I really don't want to hear Ed gush about wolf. Let's hope it's Dave.

Maybe they will just play and it won't be an interview.

[DONNIEP]

I really don't want to hear Ed gush about wolf.

Oh I'm sure it would be "This was all Wolfie's idea"..."magic ear buds"..."he's the real leader of the band"...Yay - just what I want to hear: A 24 year old kid, who has no point of reference for why Van Halen was Van Halen, is now leader of the band. Great.

And before somebody comes along and says "Wolfgang has an almost encyclopedic knowledge of every single time Van Halen practiced, performed, recorded, toured, knows every single detail from every" blah blah fuckity BLAH. You take a fuckin Martian and put him in that band and what would he know? What he's read on the interwebz and seen on youtube. Plus you let Ed tell him stories for say 3 weeks straight, nonstop. That would pretty much encompass Wolfie's knowledge of the band. And that's not a knock against Wolfie or any other 16 year old they could have picked to play bass. It's just the fuckin truth.

And no, it didn't have to be Mikey, since Ed is a total douche. But for cryin out loud - did it have to be a kid?

Oh yeah, back on topic, I hope they kick ass on Ellen.

[Seshmeister]

I do miss old Dave sometimes...



Scrubbing the stage? He doesn't even show up for soundchecks but whatever it's a fun mythology.

[DLR Bridge]

...since Ed is a total douche.

Partial. Sammy's a total.

[Seshmeister]

Oh I'm sure it would be "This was all Wolfie's idea"..."magic ear buds"..."he's the real leader of the band"...Yay - just what I want to hear: A 24 year old kid, who has no point of reference for why Van Halen was Van Halen, is now leader of the band. Great.

And before somebody comes along and says "Wolfgang has an almost encyclopedic knowledge of every single time Van Halen practiced, performed, recorded, toured, knows every single detail from every" blah blah fuckity BLAH. You take a fuckin Martian and put him in that band and what would he know? What he's read on the interwebz and seen on youtube. Plus you let Ed tell him stories for say 3 weeks straight, nonstop. That would pretty much encompass Wolfie's knowledge of the band. And that's not a knock against Wolfie or any other 16 year old they could have picked to play bass. It's just the fuckin truth.

And no, it didn't have to be Mikey, since Ed is a total douche. But for cryin out loud - did it have to be a kid?

Oh yeah, back on topic, I hope they kick ass on Ellen.

There was a TV show here back in the late 90s that had a fun feature where they got famous stars and had them do a quiz against their hardcore fans about their career and they almost always lost.

[DONNIEP]

Partial. Sammy's a total.

No, he's not. Everybody owes Slappy a big Thank YOU for keeping Ed recording and touring all those crappy years. Otherwise Ed would be washing your windshield at that intersection in town you hate. The one with the extra long red light. You know, the one where you can almost never turn left because of all the oncoming traffic...

[DONNIEP]

There was a TV show here back in the late 90s that had a fun feature where they got famous stars and had them do a quiz against their hardcore fans about their career and they almost always lost.

And thus you have just indirectly supported my argument that nobody in Van Halen is sitting on 7 million miles of pro shot tape.

Anybody here ever wished they had pictures of this or video of that? You know, that awesome story you tell all the time but have no photographic proof to back it up. That's probably close to the truth as to why Van Halen hasn't released this or that. There's probably not so much to release. If it existed we would have seen it by now, albeit in rough 37th generation copy format. But it would be somewhere. And just because something was shot doesn't mean it wasn't tossed or recorded over.

[DLR Bridge]

Nope. Hagar is a total douche.

[FORD]

No, he's not. Everybody owes Slappy a big Thank YOU for keeping Ed recording and touring all those crappy years. Otherwise Ed would be washing your windshield at that intersection in town you hate. The one with the extra long red light. You know, the one where you can almost never turn left because of all the oncoming traffic...

Why would Ed be in Tacoma?

Seriously 90% of the lights in that fucking city don't even have goddamned left turn arrows yet.

[DLR Bridge]

No, he's not. Everybody owes Slappy a big Thank YOU for keeping Ed recording and touring all those crappy years...

No one owes him anything. He was no knight on a white horse. He's just some guy Van Halen might never have considered, had his Lambourgini not broken down. The post Roth period of VH was going to be checked out, no matter who they put in there. Ed wasn't creeping death when Dave left. He was in '04, though. And a total douche exploited that fact to sell a book about his own life. Total douche move. Constantly running his mouth on the subject of Van Halen only echoes that fact.

[DONNIEP]

Ed wasn't creeping death when Dave left. He was in '04, though. And a total douche exploited that fact to sell a book about his own life. Total douche move. Constantly running his mouth on the subject of Van Halen only echoes that fact.

And Al, Ed's brother, had no idea Ed was about to check out? Really? I never read Sam's book. I've read excerpts here and there, but I never bought it. So it was Sam's job to make sure Ed was in tip top shape but not his own brother?

And as far as the mouth running goes....Sure, Slappy shot his off waayyy too much about Dave back in the day. But was that him shitting on Dave OR was it him joining in on the "back stage" BS that the brothers, and Mikey, were blasting to anyone who would listen? I'm no Sammy lover but put yourself in that situation....

Slappy, from whatever confluence of events, became the new lead singer. There are interviews out the ass where Ed raved about him. There's video of Al - who never wrote a note - saying Dave was a 12 year tooth ache. And Sam was the gold crown that replaced him. Ed and Al sucked off Sammy in the press every chance they had.

My point is this: Ed trots out whatever version of VH - I'll even say this - Ed trots out whatever version of Van Fucking Halen that He thinks is the definitive version, whenever it suits him. Ed is a deluded moron. Al just wants to cash in. Dave...Dave just wanted to be back in. And he did whatever it took to get back in that band - including allowing some little kid to play bass and pretend to sing. Why else would he say at Cafe Wha? that it was all real and live? And then go on to tell RS that he wanted Mikey back?

I honestly don't give two shits what this band does tomorrow or 7 years from now. It will always be Dave, Al, Ed, and Wolfie. And no matter how hard anyone tries to listen to live cuts from any show, it ain't fucking Van Halen. It ain't. It will never sound right and anybody who caught the first tour who thought a 16 year old kid DESERVED to be up there is a moron.

But I do hope they rock the Ellen show. Because that's what Van Fucking Halen should do. Play on a show that airs in the afternoon. That's genius marketing. Showing up to a show that NOBODY you know ever watches on a regular basis. Hell, it's almost as big of a stroke of genius as having ONE billboard advertise the pic of the album cover of ADKOT. Seeing as how they stole it straight off another record. And there were 37 people here who even fuckin knew it would be there and knew what it was...

[Nitro Express]

Rock the Ellen Show? What are we going to rock next The View? What a fagged up world we live in now.

[Dan]

WGAFF What People Think,Any TV Time Is Good Time.

[Dan]

Maybe Dave Will Turn Her Straight.

[DONNIEP]

Rock the Ellen Show? What are we going to rock next The View? What a fagged up world we live in now.

The View would be a better venue for the band and for the Army. They're more in-line with the prevalent attitude here.

The Mighty Van Halen is gonna perform on a mid afternoon show that nobody you know watches. Yay. That's what ALL of the super cool bands do.

[Dan]

Maybe They Want More MILF For Van Halen.

[twonabomber]

Of course Dave would have to watch his "ad libs" in front of the TV cameras, but I'm sure they have the 7 second delay

Pretty sure the show is taped and not aired live. They can edit that shit out and no one will notice.

[DONNIEP]

Pretty sure the show is taped and not aired live. They can edit that shit out and no one will notice.

Even better.

I hope Dave does his Jack Daniels jizz routine. And I hope he shoots it all over Ed. Fuckin miserable prick.

[chuckjitsu]

Hell, it's almost as big of a stroke of genius as having ONE billboard advertise the pic of the album cover of ADKOT.

I wondered about this the other day. They did nothing like this to promote ADKOT, which was a good record, but are apparently doing multiple tv appearances to promote this album, which i don't believe will be as good. These guys...

It now seems even more miraculous that A Different Kind Of Truth got made/released at all.

[Jetstream]

People often like to cite how Hagar saved Van Halen. Maybe in new product money but in my opinion not the band's reputation and I think Hagar in hindsight has hurt Van Halen. How many studio LPs did Zeppelin or Hendrix have in comparison to Van Halen with Roth, but the legend not only remained intact but it grew. Thanks to Hagar, you have a whole generation with a skewed opinion of the group due to the AOR cliché rock Hagar made the band become... and now you have all the friction these ignorant 'new' fans cause every time Van Halen is now mentioned as if Sammy is a rightful representation of the legend in my opinion

[VHscraps]

I honestly don't give two shits what this band does tomorrow or 7 years from now. It will always be Dave, Al, Ed, and Wolfie. And no matter how hard anyone tries to listen to live cuts from any show, it ain't fucking Van Halen. It ain't. It will never sound right and anybody who caught the first tour who thought a 16 year old kid DESERVED to be up there is a moron.

Ditto. They are truly done for me now.

Just retire al-fucking-ready before further destroying what made you great.

This Ellen thing is the lamest ever move.. I have nothing against Ellen as a person, or her show - never seen it,, and I don't care if other 'rockers' have been on her show, it ain't Van Halen. Is Wolfie's Mom managing the band ... FFS.

If you want goddam headlines, news coverage, to hit the TV screens of every home in the nation fair enough - but try and do something a bit more inventive, with some balls.

[Nitro Express]

It's the pussy generation today so VH is just marketing to it. Rock and roll is about piss and vinegar and breaking rules. It doesn't exist in a society where everyone is afraid of offending everyone and getting in trouble for it. No attitude no nothin.

[Nitro Express]

I wondered about this the other day. They did nothing like this to promote ADKOT, which was a good record, but are apparently doing multiple tv appearances to promote this album, which i don't believe will be as good. These guys...

It now seems even more miraculous that A Different Kind Of Truth got made/released at all.

You can have the greatest songs in the world but if they aren't promoted properly they go nowhere.

[Nitro Express]

Even better.

I hope Dave does his Jack Daniels jizz routine. And I hope he shoots it all over Ed. Fuckin miserable prick.

Aw gee. Ed would get a taste of the alcohol suck Dave off and end up back in the Betty Ford clinic.

[Nitro Express]

The View would be a better venue for the band and for the Army. They're more in-line with the prevalent attitude here.

The Mighty Van Halen is gonna perform on a mid afternoon show that nobody you know watches. Yay. That's what ALL of the super cool bands do.

How did Ellen even get famous in the first place? Yeah she was a comedian but my gosh I don't even remember one routine of hers. All I know her for is she got a lot of air time for coming out gay. Now that's ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz. The whole fucking world has gone gay. Including Van Halen.

[Dave's Bitch]

My point is this: Ed trots out whatever version of VH - I'll even say this - Ed trots out whatever version of Van Fucking Halen that He thinks is the definitive version, whenever it suits him. Ed is a deluded moron. Al just wants to cash in. Dave...Dave just wanted to be back in. And he did whatever it took to get back in that band - including allowing some little kid to play bass and pretend to sing. Why else would he say at Cafe Wha? that it was all real and live? And then go on to tell RS that he wanted Mikey back?

I honestly don't give two shits what this band does tomorrow or 7 years from now. It will always be Dave, Al, Ed, and Wolfie. And no matter how hard anyone tries to listen to live cuts from any show, it ain't fucking Van Halen. It ain't. It will never sound right and anybody who caught the first tour who thought a 16 year old kid DESERVED to be up there is a moron.

But I do hope they rock the Ellen show. Because that's what Van Fucking Halen should do. Play on a show that airs in the afternoon. That's genius marketing. Showing up to a show that NOBODY you know ever watches on a regular basis. Hell, it's almost as big of a stroke of genius as having ONE billboard advertise the pic of the album cover of ADKOT. Seeing as how they stole it straight off another record. And there were 37 people here who even fuckin knew it would be there and knew what it was...

This, exactly this.

[DLR Bridge]

And Al, Ed's brother, had no idea Ed was about to check out? Really? I never read Sam's book. I've read excerpts here and there, but I never bought it. So it was Sam's job to make sure Ed was in tip top shape but not his own brother?

And as far as the mouth running goes....Sure, Slappy shot his off waayyy too much about Dave back in the day. But was that him shitting on Dave OR was it him joining in on the "back stage" BS that the brothers, and Mikey, were blasting to anyone who would listen? I'm no Sammy lover but put yourself in that situation....

Slappy, from whatever confluence of events, became the new lead singer. There are interviews out the ass where Ed raved about him. There's video of Al - who never wrote a note - saying Dave was a 12 year tooth ache. And Sam was the gold crown that replaced him. Ed and Al sucked off Sammy in the press every chance they had.

My point is this: Ed trots out whatever version of VH - I'll even say this - Ed trots out whatever version of Van Fucking Halen that He thinks is the definitive version, whenever it suits him. Ed is a deluded moron. Al just wants to cash in. Dave...Dave just wanted to be back in. And he did whatever it took to get back in that band - including allowing some little kid to play bass and pretend to sing. Why else would he say at Cafe Wha? that it was all real and live? And then go on to tell RS that he wanted Mikey back?

I honestly don't give two shits what this band does tomorrow or 7 years from now. It will always be Dave, Al, Ed, and Wolfie. And no matter how hard anyone tries to listen to live cuts from any show, it ain't fucking Van Halen. It ain't. It will never sound right and anybody who caught the first tour who thought a 16 year old kid DESERVED to be up there is a moron.

But I do hope they rock the Ellen show. Because that's what Van Fucking Halen should do. Play on a show that airs in the afternoon. That's genius marketing. Showing up to a show that NOBODY you know ever watches on a regular basis. Hell, it's almost as big of a stroke of genius as having ONE billboard advertise the pic of the album cover of ADKOT. Seeing as how they stole it straight off another record. And there were 37 people here who even fuckin knew it would be there and knew what it was...

Sorry, I passed out before this retort.

Many good points Donnie. Still think Sammy's the bigger douche. No, Al does not deserve a hall pass in my opinion either. I assume you had been imbibing last night too, as you went off the rails (pun intended) and slammed Dave's train CD cover choice in a discussion about Sammy being a bigger douche than Ed.

No, this band isn't what it used to be. We are totally in take it for what it is or don't take it at all territory. I'm not going to get upset about what I have no control over. They've disappointed me enough for one life time. How they fuck up their legacy is on them, not me. Is it a shame they're all (including Dave) a bit clueless? Yup. Oh wells. The damn good times happened already. The nostalgia gravy train is all they're about now, which sucks, but I'll take that over any incarnation with the #1 douche any day, and so will you.

[ZahZoo]

Maybe They Want More MILF For Van Halen.

I believe the desired demographic is Momshells™...

[Va Beach VH Fan]

I think the best way to put it is that Samuel Roy Hagar's inclusion in Van Halen ruined the greatest rock band in American music history.

Now, I want to stress, notice that I said INCLUSION. I didn't say that HE ruined Van Halen.

And why? Because I can't honestly pin the making of all of those sappy ballads exclusively on him....

Yes, he wrote the lyrics, but who's responsible for the making of the song itself?

So I can't honestly hang ALL of it on Hagar....

The point is that I just can't see DLR having any input in the creation of all that sap....

[guwapo_rocker]

So I can't honestly hang ALL of it on Hagar....

Let's not "hang ALL of it on Hagar".

Let's just hang Hagar.

[twonabomber]

How did Ellen even get famous in the first place? Yeah she was a comedian but my gosh I don't even remember one routine of hers. All I know her for is she got a lot of air time for coming out gay. Now that's ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz. The whole fucking world has gone gay. Including Van Halen.

An unfunny comedian at that.

"They canceled my sitcom because I am gay." No, they canceled that show because it was not funny.

And how do we go from ripping on Van Hagar "encouraging you to drink milk, drive a Nissan and have a relationship," to going on Ellen? I'm all for promotion, but not on that show.

[DONNIEP]

An unfunny comedian at that.

"They canceled my sitcom because I am gay." No, they canceled that show because it was not funny.

And how do we go from ripping on Van Hagar "encouraging you to drink milk, drive a Nissan and have a relationship," to going on Ellen? I'm all for promotion, but not on that show.

The only thing I know about Ellen's show is that she has, or had, this funny segment where she would read text messages where the phone autocorrected or predictive textified the words and changed them up. And I only know that because my daughter was watching a montage of those segments on her iphone and I could hear it. Pretty funny stuff. Oh and I did watch Miley on there one time, cause I'm a prevert and all.

Other than that I don't know what Ellen's show is all about. Must be pretty popular with working in the home ladies though. Seems like Sammy would be a better fit for her show than Dave and the boys. Cause Slappy could talk about the time he was in VH (and honestly that would be my favorite topic too if I was him. What else is he gonna talk about? UFOs? He can't even make UFOs sound cool), his new record, his current tour, and then they could make some mixed drunks with his new rum. See - I just filled a 13 minute segment without even using my brain.

VH on the other hand....they do a song, sit down on the couches or whatever, and then what? Dave tells a story about spending a year in Ninja school, Ed talks about whatever Ed rambles on about, Al sits there with his shades on wishing he could kill himself, or kill Dave. Honestly the only one with anything interesting to say is Wolf. He's got some cool stuff going on, new record and all that. But no, you'll have Dave doing his best 1983 imitation while he's jerkin around like Michael J Fox when his meds run out, blabbering all over the place. Maybe it would be best if they just do a song and split.

[clarathecarrot]

Best thing about the latest Hollywood media demographic tv shows is any jackoff will do fine in whatever predetermined specifically designed show outline, they have a vacancy in.

Ellen, is the poor shlepp arrested and owned by that demographics media vacancy and she will never be free even when she stops wearing that strap on under her pants, while she conducts her daily business.

And comes back into the closet of her, real reality, hey, "I like dick now".

Opffrah is married to a fag and is a crazy for the cooch.

Ellen fills the gay woman over 40 demo.

Best thing about Ellen is that other "lets use the lesbian angle to garner attention in hollywood" snizzz freek that used to hold hands with ellen and swear loyalty to the cause then when Harrison Ford offered her a better deal she started honking on bobo all over town to get what she was looking for next ..left ellen with her finger in her ear wondering about her life choices.

Can't remember her name but she was hailed as the greatest actress in the history of movies by the lesbian media hell til she went all hetro and then they never mentioned her again and her career tanked.

[DLR Bridge]

"They canceled my sitcom because I am gay." No, they canceled that show because it was not funny.

Nope. It was because she was gay. The show won a fucking Emmy the year before she came out. When she did, the set received bomb threats. She received death threats. Advertisers balked and bullshit homophobic America turned it's back on her.

Was that show for you and me? No. But millions were watching it then millions bailed. That's how it went down. I give her a lot of credit, whether she's funny or not.

[BITEYOASS]

IMO, =VH= should be on Saturday Night Live! Of course Lorne is too much of a pussy to put on a musical act that kicks ass.

[clarathecarrot]

That show had to win a emmy if it didn't EQCA was going to bring a suit that stated the Emmy was a bigoted and intolerant organization.

I really think some of you all are quite ignorant of how this shit works. ...?