Latest Interview with The RED TAMPON

[ELVIS]

Because Dave knows if instead of walking up to the edge of the stage with a bottle of Jack Daniels, he walked up, turned around and dropped his drawers to take a shit into the mouth of one of his blind followers, the carrot (and people like it) would be the first one to the stage. Then they would promptly post on the internet how Dave is the greatest at shitting in someone's mouth, and his shit tastes better than anyone else's shit.

But wait...

tell us how you really feel...

[ELVIS]

Seems kinda more like certain "Long timie" members around here are harping over and over again and again about the bad parts of DLR ...

At 700 dollars (plus fees) for front row tickets at Oak Mountain Alabama there shouldn't be ANY bad parts...

I'd pay $35 TOPS for Dave's sub-par, coked out BS...

He should just walk away if this is the legacy he wants the rock world to remember him by...

[clarathecarrot]

Show me the "good parts" that you've seen since the resurfacing on Kimmel and I'll stand corrected. I don't give a fuck that he can still kick above his head....that's not what I'm paying to see or hear.

The problem is that the "bad parts" are not organic....they're deliberate. He CAN sound good consistently....he just refuses to do it.

I think DLR's voice has fallen in and out of range his whole life.

Are you watching a show or judging for reasons to crucify.

I am suspecting perhaps ??? after 45 years as a singer DLR maybe just maybe has some idea of what he is doing.

I could be wrong maybe Dave has no idea how to front "argumentatively" the greatest rock band of our time.

If you cannot wait for some of the good things to wander thru the mix then that is just your way, I kinda like it not being perfect to me that is rock and roll every day joes making huge money entertaining without the dictatorship Diva from the Russian Opera level of need.. and there are certain singers I seek out when I want that level of musicianship and it isn't in a R&R setting.

R&R is for us my friend....attainable without documented outlines.

FREEDOM!!!!!!

[clarathecarrot]

Because Dave knows if instead of walking up to the edge of the stage with a bottle of Jack Daniels, he walked up, turned around and dropped his drawers to take a shit into the mouth of one of his blind followers, the carrot (and people like it) would be the first one to the stage. Then they would promptly post on the internet how Dave is the greatest at shitting in someone's mouth, and his shit tastes better than anyone else's shit.

What hat did you pull that statement out of HOLY SHIT!!! WOW!!!!...baaah baaah baaah

[clarathecarrot]

At 700 dollars (plus fees) for front row tickets at Oak Mountain Alabama there shouldn't be ANY bad parts...

I'd pay $35 TOPS for Dave's sub-par, coked out BS...

He should just walk away if this is the legacy he wants the rock world to remember him by...

Well my brother it is 63$ including tax at any show all summer long.

Depends on where you personally want to sit and be "known".

You will go to a show you probably already have tickets. Remember it is just something to do some weekday night..you could stay home and order a pizza...no one will care.

[fryingdutchman]

I think DLR's voice has fallen in and out of range his whole life.

Are you watching a show or judging for reasons to crucify.

I am suspecting perhaps ??? after 45 years as a singer DLR maybe just maybe has some idea of what he is doing.

Falling out of RANGE and falling out of TUNE are two very different things.

Dave has fallen in and out of TUNE his entire life. And that's OK because live performances are not supposed to be pitch perfect.

As for RANGE....you don't truly "fall" in or out of it. Range is a conscious choice by the singer based on how their voice is conditioned and "where" it can sing at. As singers get older they usually have perform in a different range to accommodate the changes in their voice.

Dave has apparently not reached that level of acceptance. Does he have some idea of what he's doing? Probably, yes. The problem is that he doesn't give a fuck about it.

[ELVIS]

Well my brother it is 63$ including tax at any show all summer long.

No it's not...

[clarathecarrot]

Falling out of RANGE and falling out of TUNE are two very different things.

Dave has fallen in and out of TUNE his entire life. And that's OK because live performances are not supposed to be pitch perfect.

As for RANGE....you don't truly "fall" in or out of it. Range is a conscious choice by the singer based on how their voice is conditioned and "where" it can sing at. As singers get older they usually have perform in a different range to accommodate the changes in their voice.

Dave has apparently not reached that level of acceptance. Does he have some idea of what he's doing? Probably, yes. The problem is that he doesn't give a fuck about it.

Yeah like what I said, Range...when you reach a certain age all things repair at a slower rate after 50 that rate becomes a horrible nightmare of acceptance by the individual self.

Dave could probably rip 2 vocal cords all the way thru and the next day have complete repair just by existing at the age of 20yrs old.

After 50yrs old it would take a surgeon...so he is probably letting you learn to accept what he is at this time and space of your need at a his live show.

Playing a instrument is a different musical theory that your throat..can't hand off your (throat) guitar, switch out a pick-up side stage left and get back to playing in 5 min.


I personally like the imperfectness of R&R and DLR.

[ELVIS]

No it's not...

Cheapest at Oak Mountain is $102.95 before tax...

[ELVIS]

Yes, I'm talking to myself...

[fryingdutchman]

Yeah like what I said, Range...when you reach a certain age all things repair at a slower rate after 50 that rate becomes a horrible nightmare of acceptance by the individual self.

Dave could probably rip 2 vocal cords all the way thru and the next day have complete repair just by existing at the age of 20yrs old.

After 50yrs old it would take a surgeon...so he is probably letting you learn to accept what he is at this time and space of your need at a his live show.

Playing a instrument is a different musical theory that your throat..can't hand off your guitar, switch out a pick-up side stage left and get back to playing in 5 min.


I personally like the imperfectness of R&R and DLR.

The bottom line is that Dave is not "falling" out of range. He's literally JUMPING out of range on his own accord. So he's out of range AND out of tune.

Imperfections have always been part of Dave's charm. Sometimes out of tune, sometimes "talking" the lyrics, forgetting the lyrics, etc....

But the thing about imperfections is that they generally exist due to circumstances beyond your control.

Dave's current 'range' issue is not an imperfection. It's a deliberate choice that is making him a distraction and borderline unlistenable.

I respect your right to be OK with it. I, however, am not.

[clarathecarrot]

No it's not...

Hey Elvis EAT THIS> at different venues thought this country there may be different prices for tickets depending on the economic status and or need of certain municipalities and tax percentages due to venue tax rates and energy costs based on energy consumption and delivery of fossil fuels to that certain state and or cities power plants and about 72 other such costs in reference to a balance sheet of, profit vs. loss in certain locations income ratio based on national averages per-capita and so forth also one must concider rehab of facilities insurance based on individual that may attend, and updates and clean up costs due to venue size etc....

So yeah what I said 63$ including tax.

Here is what I really want to know if a venue has 14 seats and that is all and another has 4000 does VH get paid the same //like the 14 seat venue would each seat cost 27,000 dollars..does VH get paid the same across this tour or do they adjust their exhibition fees as per certain venues ability to pay them..?

INTERESTING STUFF!!!!

[Von Halen]

I personally like the imperfectness of R&R and DLR.

You don't seem to be able to distinguish the difference between imperfection, and just not giving a fuck about singing the songs in the right register.

Dave's live shows in the old days, had imperfections. Today's performances he is singing the songs WRONG, on purpose.

How ironic, you seem to think everything DLR does is perfect, yet you claim to like imperfection.

[ELVIS]

Hey Elvis EAT THIS> at different venues thought this country there may be different prices for tickets depending on the economic status and or need of certain municipalities and tax percentages due to venue tax rates and energy costs based on energy consumption and delivery of fossil fuels to that certain state and or cities power plants and about 72 other such costs in reference to a balance sheet of, profit vs. loss in certain locations income ratio based on national averages per-capita and so forth also one must concider rehab of facilities insurance based on individual that may attend, and updates and clean up costs due to venue size etc....

So yeah what I said 63$ including tax.

Here is what I really want to know if a venue has 14 seats and that is all and another has 4000 does VH get paid the same //like the 14 seat venue would each seat cost 27,000 dollars..does VH get paid the same across this tour or do they adjust their exhibition fees as per certain venues ability to pay them..?

INTERESTING STUFF!!!!

Put the pipe down...geez...

[Von Halen]

Well my brother it is 63$ including tax at any show all summer long.

This is your exact quote.

Hey Elvis EAT THIS> at different venues thought this country there may be different prices for tickets depending on the economic status and or need of certain municipalities and tax percentages due to venue tax rates and energy costs based on energy consumption and delivery of fossil fuels to that certain state and or cities power plants and about 72 other such costs in reference to a balance sheet of, profit vs. loss in certain locations income ratio based on national averages per-capita and so forth also one must concider rehab of facilities insurance based on individual that may attend, and updates and clean up costs due to venue size etc....

So yeah what I said 63$ including tax.

Here is what I really want to know if a venue has 14 seats and that is all and another has 4000 does VH get paid the same //like the 14 seat venue would each seat cost 27,000 dollars..does VH get paid the same across this tour or do they adjust their exhibition fees as per certain venues ability to pay them..?

INTERESTING STUFF!!!!

Look at Carrot Top talking out of both sides of his mouth, as usual!