EVH: Billboard Mag Cover Story Sneak Peek Via VHND

[DONNIEP]

Photographer: Ed, please take the jacket off.

Ed: No! I don't wanna!

P: Ed, for the love of god, he's not here!

Ed: How do you know? That Donnie fucker is everywhere!

P: Ed, what the hell are you talking about? There's nobody else here!

Ed: You don't know that. He might be here. He's mean and him and his girlfriend, some chick named Dave's Bitch, they spent like 4 months doing nothing but making fun of me. Day and nite, nite and day. "Ed's Filthy Methy Mouth" they said, over and over. So I went and got some new teeth and then they made fun of that! No! I'm not taking my jacket off!

P: Ed, please man, we have got to wrap this up.

Ed: No! Don't you get it? The whole world is out to get me: Dave won't be my friend. Sammy hates me. Mikey is jealous of me. Gary is gay. Donnie makes fun of me. And they all tell nasty lies about me! Lies! I'm not coming out!

P: Ok Ed, forget it. I'll send this one picture to the magazine and see what they say.

Ed: Can I go home now? Power Rangers is gonna be on in like 30 minutes.

[Dave's Bitch]

And I thought Dave was creepy. Well, he is, but still. What a weirdo

[DONNIEP]

And I thought Dave was creepy. Well, he is, but still. What a weirdo

If it wasn't for David Lee Roth, Ed would have spent his whole life dressed exactly like that, sitting in some little crappy rental house playing his geetar in the corner.

[Dave's Bitch]

If it wasn't for David Lee Roth, Ed would have spent his whole life dressed exactly like that, sitting in some little crappy rental house playing his geetar in the corner.

Of course he would, he's a tone chaser! I wonder if tone chaser is a euphemism for bitter old cunt or something?

[DONNIEP]

Of course he would, he's a tone chaser! I wonder if tone chaser is a euphemism for bitter old cunt or something?

I think it means either bitter old cunt OR weepy drunk. I'm hoping he's at home plugging in his hair clippers right now..bzzzzzz "Everybody tells LIES! Lies!" bzzzzrrrrzzzzzzz "No, tell Al I'm not here!" bzzzzzzzrrrerrerrrrzzzz "Woflie, run down to the beer store! I don't care what your momma said!" brrrzzzzzzz "I don't need anybody. I don't need anything, except this ashtray. And this remote control. This ashtray, this paddle ball game, the remote control, these matches, and this lamp. And that's all I need. I don't need one other thing! Not one. I need this - this chair. The paddle game, and the remote control. And the matches, for sure! Well, what are you looking at? You think I'm some kind of a jerk or something?"

[Kristy]

The "one eye" Illuminati symbolism.

[PETE'S BROTHER]

He's also running his stupid cock sucker saying Mike's voice isn't important, he can't sing, blah blah blah. In other words: Me, Me, Me, ME!! I was responsible for all of it EXCEPT the lyrics, which are so worthless to MY songs that I don't even recall any of them.

sounds warfy

[Jetstream]

Fuck this shit. I want Dave to do whatever fucking drugs he wants as long as it does not effect his balance and I want a fucking flying jump split off the drum riser for the Houston show. Fuck all the complete cultural dumb fucks who have never moved past a wide screen TV or a poster who think Eddie the 5 minute popular cultural song creator is a fucking modern day Mozart... Pink Floyd is no Mozart or Beethoven but they at least know how to approach the suggestion by making songs which can go over at least 10 minutes while Eduardo cannot even make a soundtrack for a porno movie

[PETE'S BROTHER]

I think it means either bitter old cunt OR weepy drunk. I'm hoping he's at home plugging in his hair clippers right now..bzzzzzz "Everybody tells LIES! Lies!" bzzzzrrrrzzzzzzz "No, tell Al I'm not here!" bzzzzzzzrrrerrerrrrzzzz "Woflie, run down to the beer store! I don't care what your momma said!" brrrzzzzzzz "I don't need anybody. I don't need anything, except this ashtray. And this remote control. This ashtray, this paddle ball game, the remote control, these matches, and this lamp. And that's all I need. I don't need one other thing! Not one. I need this - this chair. The paddle game, and the remote control. And the matches, for sure! Well, what are you looking at? You think I'm some kind of a jerk or something?"

he's shooting at the song cans!!!!!

[clarathecarrot]

Fuck this shit. I want Dave to do whatever fucking drugs he wants as long as it does not effect his balance and I want a fucking flying jump split off the drum riser for the Houston show. Fuck all the complete cultural dumb fucks who have never moved past a wide screen TV or a poster who think Eddie the 5 minute popular cultural song creator is a fucking modern day Mozart... Pink Floyd is no Mozart or Beethoven but they at least know how to approach the suggestion by making songs which can go over at least 10 minutes while Eduardo cannot even make a soundtrack for a porno movie

RELAX ALL YOU HOMOS!!!

It's only Rock and Roll...perhaps partake of the ever so fine pooper on Jetsteam's AV and imagine a simpler time..when all you needed was a booty to get you all hot and bothered...buy your tickets....go to a show....be the ball.....nanannaannnananana...ann..anna.nah...nah. nah...nnnnnnnnn...

[Vinnie Velvet]

Ed's latest......

Where to begin.

Kind of sounds like 1996 Eddie - but more realistic as in admitting that Roth is and forever will be THE voice of Van Halen.
But not at the 1996 levels of docuhebaggery but a douche no less.

But seriously, I kind of expected Ed to come out like this. After Roth claiming during his Billboard Awards presser that the Tokyo Dome show was the most productive he could get the Van Halens to be "...that week", I though uh oh, here we go again.

I really don't understand these guys. 60 years old and still acting like a bunch of whiney fucks. And I don't get Ed still crapping all over Mike. Granted, Mike wasn't Billy Sheenan but the proof is in the recordings: admirable bass playing and great backing vocals.

Who knows, there may be an ounce of truth in the whole video camera thing about Mike and Eddie showing him how to play parts. But its clearly an exaggeration, embellishment, whatever you want to call it.

[Jetstream]

RELAX ALL YOU HOMOS!!!

It's only Rock and Roll...perhaps partake of the ever so fine pooper on Jetsteam's AV and imagine a simpler time..when all you needed was a booty to get you all hot and bothered...buy your tickets....go to a show....be the ball.....nanannaannnananana...ann..anna.nah...nah. nah...nnnnnnnnn...

Not only are you a crazy ass mofo, you are a root so I will not take your words all that seriously... you get my point man, this is not high art, not Mozart, rock is entertainment and I want to be entertained and if not, well as the Stones said it was only Rock and Roll and that does not even get me to a point to involve the word relax with any value because booty is better lol

[clarathecarrot]

Not only are you a crazy ass mofo, you are a root so I will not take your words all that seriously... you get my point man, this is not high art, not Mozart, rock is entertainment and I want to be entertained and if not, well as the Stones said it was only Rock and Roll and that does not even get me to a point to involve the word relax with any value because booty is better lol

We are uber fans,.. but, many here are reactionary on every little comment by the VH Camp....which is cool it is something to relate about to others in the world...but really what if we just separated the PRESS ....from the SHOW...I do and it enables me the opportunity to enjoy some damn good rock and roll.

[TJMKID]

I think Hagar's book was truthful in certain parts --- namely that Edweirdo is a vampire --- he visits Skid Row at night and sucks meth out of junkie veins.

Photographer: Ed, please take the jacket off.

Ed: No! I don't wanna!

P: Ed, for the love of god, he's not here!

Ed: How do you know? That Donnie fucker is everywhere!

P: Ed, what the hell are you talking about? There's nobody else here!

Ed: You don't know that. He might be here. He's mean and him and his girlfriend, some chick named Dave's Bitch, they spent like 4 months doing nothing but making fun of me. Day and nite, nite and day. "Ed's Filthy Methy Mouth" they said, over and over. So I went and got some new teeth and then they made fun of that! No! I'm not taking my jacket off!

P: Ed, please man, we have got to wrap this up.

Ed: No! Don't you get it? The whole world is out to get me: Dave won't be my friend. Sammy hates me. Mikey is jealous of me. Gary is gay. Donnie makes fun of me. And they all tell nasty lies about me! Lies! I'm not coming out!

P: Ok Ed, forget it. I'll send this one picture to the magazine and see what they say.

Ed: Can I go home now? Power Rangers is gonna be on in like 30 minutes.

[Jetstream]

[QUOTE=Vinnie Velvet;1887992]Ed's latest......

Where to begin.

Kind of sounds like 1996 Eddie

The video camera thing I am sure happened but not in the context Eddie thinks it eventually applied to Anthony. Anthony is sleeping into the night after finally drinking too much JD and paranoid Edward is sending him videos of how to play shit because Eduardo is a control freak. Mike wakes up and glances at the like 10 videos of Edward showing how he wants to play the bass part from just that night, shakes his head and just comes in early to make it known he gets it because Mike is not great but a good professional player. Ed does this interview and then actually thinks all those videos he sent to Mike where used when they where deleted by Mike in a 'WTF' mode fashion

[TJMKID]

Who knows, there may be an ounce of truth in the whole video camera thing about Mike and Eddie showing him how to play parts. But its clearly an exaggeration, embellishment, whatever you want to call it.

To a certain degree, I can sort of understand why Ed rubbed out Mike's image on the album covers and tries to belittle his contributions to songwriting. After all, Mike was choosing sides and he chose Hagar after 2001, and he's been making a steady living playing songs that only Ed and Alex supposedly have exclusive songwriting credits for. It's hard to confirm, but Mike never called to offer condolences when Eugenia Van Halen died, although she was 93 yrs. old so no big surprise. Ed was bitter about that kind of stuff, and he loves to hold a grudge.

But to say complete nonsense about Anthony had to videotape Ed playing bass so he could learn how to play --- that's just treating the fans like retards. No other way to say it. Just open up our mouths so Ed can shovel that dogshit right down our throats.

[Vinnie Velvet]

To a certain degree, I can sort of understand why Ed rubbed out Mike's image on the album covers and tries to belittle his contributions to songwriting. After all, Mike was choosing sides and he chose Hagar after 2001, and he's been making a steady living playing songs that only Ed and Alex supposedly have exclusive songwriting credits for. It's hard to confirm, but Mike never called to offer condolences when Eugenia Van Halen died, although she was 93 yrs. old so no big surprise. Ed was bitter about that kind of stuff, and he loves to hold a grudge.

But to say complete nonsense about Anthony had to videotape Ed playing bass so he could learn how to play --- that's just treating the fans like retards. No other way to say it. Just open up our mouths so Ed can shovel that dogshit right down our throats.

I am trying to think of the time period Ed is referring to when he mentions the videotaping thing with Mike.

Handheld camcorders didn't really come into vogue until 1986 - and even then they were still very bulky - unlike models that came out in the 90s. Clearly I don't think Ed was referring to the time period of 1980-1982 for instance.

[TJMKID]

I am trying to think of the time period Ed is referring to when he mentions the videotaping thing with Mike.

Handheld camcorders didn't really come into vogue until 1986 - and even then they were still very bulky - unlike models that came out in the 90s. Clearly I don't think Ed was referring to the time period of 1980-1982 for instance.

He might have meant film recorder --- like those small 8mm or 16mm cameras that became popular in the 70's.

Regardless, why would any band leader like EVH keep Mike around if he had to show him how to play bass on every album? Obviously didnt need him for his "soul-less" voice, right? Mike was never a looker so pulling in the female fans was exclusively Dave's job. So why did Ed keep Anthony around if he was totally useless?

[fraroc]

He might have meant film recorder --- like those small 8mm or 16mm cameras that became popular in the 70's.

Regardless, why would any band leader like EVH keep Mike around if he had to show him how to play bass on every album? Obviously didnt need him for his "soul-less" voice, right? Mike was never a looker so pulling in the female fans was exclusively Dave's job. So why did Ed keep Anthony around if he was totally useless?

Because there was a time where everybody in the band got along. Of course, it all seems so far away now....

[PETE'S BROTHER]

Because there was a time where everybody in the band got along. Of course, it all seems so far away now....

ha!!! what day was that?

[Romeo Delight]

Photographer: Ed, please take the jacket off.

Ed: No! I don't wanna!

P: Ed, for the love of god, he's not here!

Ed: How do you know? That Donnie fucker is everywhere!

P: Ed, what the hell are you talking about? There's nobody else here!

Ed: You don't know that. He might be here. He's mean and him and his girlfriend, some chick named Dave's Bitch, they spent like 4 months doing nothing but making fun of me. Day and nite, nite and day. "Ed's Filthy Methy Mouth" they said, over and over. So I went and got some new teeth and then they made fun of that! No! I'm not taking my jacket off!

P: Ed, please man, we have got to wrap this up.

Ed: No! Don't you get it? The whole world is out to get me: Dave won't be my friend. Sammy hates me. Mikey is jealous of me. Gary is gay. Donnie makes fun of me. And they all tell nasty lies about me! Lies! I'm not coming out!

P: Ok Ed, forget it. I'll send this one picture to the magazine and see what they say.

Ed: Can I go home now? Power Rangers is gonna be on in like 30 minutes.

Here's the thing Donnie...I love MA almost as much as you guys do...hell I have the pick he handed me from the 1984 tour

And this is all wrong, no doubt about it and should have been handled all kind of differently.'

But imagine you had a partner on your interwebs China deal, whatever you are doing and over time you happen to have a knack for creating all kinds of relationshipos that provide you with all of youir cheapest cost and highest quality goods that lead you into even more fortune...

Your partner, who took a risk with you at the time, plugs away but really doesn't have the talent to make the same connections and impact. Are you ok halving the profits for eternity when your impact is 1000 fold what your "partner" is?

Not excusing any of this behaviour in the least but just saying that could lead to some discomfort on a personal side if the lesser of the team keeps cashing those checks despite what is an obvious chasm in talent. All the dougnuts in the morning he brings you and good natured persona isn't going to make up for the fact that your partner is not in your league. That continues for how long exactly? What is the statute of limitations? I think Mike had a really good run in terms of his contributions. I really wish it had never ended but don't you think there is some reason for questioning the status quo at some point? Maybe it was brought up and Mike said, no thanks? Who knows.

No excusing the way Ed handled it, but maybe that is the only way he could deal with this...like a 10 year old...

[78/84 guy]

Time for Dave to release that DANCE album he did with John 5 !!! Hey Dave take Mike out on the road with ya ! I'm pretty much done with the fuckhead VH brothers. Poor guy's can never catch a break !! Wonder why ??

[ZahZoo]

What you are describing makes perfect sense, Romeo... It clearly has been a source of frustration or irritation to Ed for a long, long time. But... then again Ed took NO action to negotiate a more equatable distribution based on creative input back when there was new music being created, recorded and sold.

But that train left the station in 2004 and never returned... Mike was out... officially. A decade+ has passed... it wouldn't be reasonable to ask Mike for the money he legitimately earned back. Frankly it's too fucking late to even waste time bitching about it.

Given all that... I still find it disgusting to read/hear Ed tear down Michael on a professional level where it was totally unnecessary, unwarranted and a general shitty thing to do overall. Fuck that asshole!! He's got his boy... his brother and they can hog the gold they earn with their Twitchy peg-boy Roth from here to eternity now... just won't be any of mine!!!

[fraroc]

ha!!! what day was that?

Sometime a million years ago.

[78/84 guy]

Fuuuuuuckkk me. Roth Army is now TMZ. All this commensurable horseshit over some band who obviously have no love for themselves much less their fans.

It's a real buzzkill, people.

Like you care. Why are you here ? Hell why am I here ?? LOL !

[Kristy]

Fuck that asshole!! He's got his boy... his brother and they can hog the gold they earn with their Twitchy peg-boy Roth from here to eternity now... just won't be any of mine!!!

Uh-huh. You go, girl! Tell it like it is.

[78/84 guy]

I wanted to watch this and laugh but it is really fucking sad to see a guy wasted beyond control unable to respect and use the very gift he has

It's not his fault !! Just ask him.

[Romeo Delight]

What you are describing makes perfect sense, Romeo... It clearly has been a source of frustration or irritation to Ed for a long, long time. But... then again Ed took NO action to negotiate a more equatable distribution based on creative input back when there was new music being created, recorded and sold.

But that train left the station in 2004 and never returned... Mike was out... officially. A decade+ has passed... it wouldn't be reasonable to ask Mike for the money he legitimately earned back. Frankly it's too fucking late to even waste time bitching about it.

Given all that... I still find it disgusting to read/hear Ed tear down Michael on a professional level where it was totally unnecessary, unwarranted and a general shitty thing to do overall. Fuck that asshole!! He's got his boy... his brother and they can hog the gold they earn with their Twitchy peg-boy Roth from here to eternity now... just won't be any of mine!!!

Its just sad is all. I agree. But they will get my cash because I am selfish. I want some gratification from this even if lacking soul ;-)

[DONNIEP]

But imagine you had a partner on your interwebs China deal, whatever you are doing and over time you happen to have a knack for creating all kinds of relationshipos that provide you with all of youir cheapest cost and highest quality goods that lead you into even more fortune...

Your partner, who took a risk with you at the time, plugs away but really doesn't have the talent to make the same connections and impact. Are you ok halving the profits for eternity when your impact is 1000 fold what your "partner" is?

That's a good question. Let's say I'm the one making all the connections and he's just helping with the marketing and shipping. Sure, I'd still go in halfsies. Now, If I'm doing everything and he's just expecting a paycheck then fuck that. I'd cut him off at the knees. But Mike wasn't doing nothing - he was playing on the records and never missed a show. And I don't recall ever seeing him shit faced on stage on any boot I've ever seen. So basically he's keeping up his end of the bargain and performing. But...if you wanna give Mike a smaller cut then you gots to cut Al's share too. Cause he didn't write jack shit. But, like Mike, he showed up for the records and every show. And even when he was half lit he could play like a motherfucker.

But, just to carry your hypthetical to the end...IF I felt like I was doing more than my partner then I would sit him down and say "Kip, you're not doing anywhere near the amount of work I'm doing. I mean, you've got great hair and all, really. But I'm killing myself here. We're going to have to adjust your portion of the profits for this deal." See, that's how you do it. Simple, really.

[Jetstream]

I know there is some fucking message in this cryptic song by Dave about what the fuck is going on right now... presently I think it means everything is loony and makes no sense and I probably need Dave in a bunny outfit to establish a true message lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EO3q...94c4-0Za176Z1n

[DaveTheScott]

Hear that grinding, scraping noise? That's not Ed chasing tone, it's the sound of the fucking wheels coming off this whole thing...again...

I have a suggestion for their next album cover. Bitches.

train-wreck.jpg

[VAiN]

July 5 is right around the corner.. I really am wondering if they're rehearsing as band by now or what...

[DaveTheScott]

July 5 is right around the corner.. I really am wondering if they're rehearsing as band by now or what...

The only hope we have is that maybe Wolf will throw us a 7 second teaser on IG or something. You know no one else in the band will be saying anything. Which is not new...but you would think with two weeks to go we'd see some sort of bullshit activity.

I find it hard to believe they're going to throw the stage up and Dave's gonna stroll in 20 minutes before showtime. "Hey, fuckers!"

Then again...nah, I don't.

[twonabomber]

I find it hard to believe they're going to throw the stage up and Dave's gonna stroll in 20 minutes before showtime. "Hey, fuckers!"

Then again...nah, I don't.

It'll be FIVE minutes before showtime...

[DaveTheScott]

And another fucking thing...from Ed's Billboard interview:

"It’s hard, because there are four people in this band, and three of us like rock’n’roll. And one of us likes dance music,” he says. “And that used to kind of work, but now Dave doesn’t want to come to the table.”

This from the guy who played lead guitar (for free, as the legend goes) on probably THE biggest pop/dance record of all time...

I just don't get it anymore, dude...

[DONNIEP]

And another fucking thing...from Ed's Billboard interview:

"It’s hard, because there are four people in this band, and three of us like rock’n’roll. And one of us likes dance music,” he says. “And that used to kind of work, but now Dave doesn’t want to come to the table.”

This from the guy who played lead guitar (for free, as the legend goes) on probably THE biggest pop/dance record of all time...

I just don't get it anymore, dude...

Yep. Since Ed writes ALL the music, why don't he write 12 songs real quick and then let Dave add his lyrics. Easy. Remember kids, Dave hasn't sat down and written a song with Ed in what, forever? So how come TGG can't just crank out an album's worth of hits and overnight em to Dave and then let him do his magic? And it IS magic, regardless of his wacky dancing and love of crappy pop/dance music.

Here, I'll say it this time, "Fuck YOU, Eddie Van Halen!"

[Seshmeister]

And another fucking thing...from Ed's Billboard interview:

"It’s hard, because there are four people in this band, and three of us like rock’n’roll. And one of us likes dance music,” he says. “And that used to kind of work, but now Dave doesn’t want to come to the table.”

Also 50 million album sales 'Kind of worked?'

[Seshmeister]

July 5 is right around the corner.. I really am wondering if they're rehearsing as band by now or what...

It's maybe a possibility that the Van Halens have been practicing alone for months now sometimes songs that may or may not ever be played on the tour depending on what Dave decides. Maybe him not being there followed by his comments about their work ethic could have triggered some of the Eddie anger?

Before the first tour, the one where Dave carried it and was great, did they not secretly rehearse for weeks in a club with Dave?

[Nigel]

I've worked with some of the same people for nearly 15 years, and while I have respect for their professional abilities and what they bring to the table in terms of the job, I've never had the slightest bit of interest in spending 5 seconds with them outside of the work environment. It seems like it has always been that way with them, though. They're quite a bit older, but the parameters haven't changed.

Totally agree Terry. My business partner and I have an advertising agency together. Great, exciting work, but we're as different as night and day. I don't want to hear about his home life and he doesn't care about mine.

[DONNIEP]

It's maybe a possibility that the Van Halens have been practicing alone for months now sometimes songs that may or may not ever be played on the tour depending on what Dave decides. Maybe him not being there followed by his comments about their work ethic could have triggered some if the Eddie anger?

Before the first tour, the one where Dave carried it and was great, did they not secretly rehearse for weeks in a club with Dave?

Well, there's audio proof of at least ONE session with Dave, via a video that was posted. But yeah, he probably was rehearsing with them on a regular basis.