Go Fuck Yourself Hollywood

[vandeleur]

A stupid story relating to die hard .
I have on occasion mentioned I work with a crazy crazy man who says crazy crazy things . If he meant them or was saying it for effect he would be a comedy genius of .... Insert name ... Standing.

So on night shift he is telling us this story of watching a programme about hitlers architect who didn't get "done" after the war ( Albert Speer ) so he tells us he wAs a famous ss officer and was released after the war.
We argued he wasn't an ss officer and also wasn't called ... Hans gruber as he claimed.
Much arguing and and discussion ensued until we googled to find hans gruber was the die hard Alan richman baddy.
Oh yeah he said that was on recently as well



At this point Alan richman as the sherif of Nottingham is hitler as well , in my mind .

Oh this is from the guy who said that answer to hitlers favourite movie was " shindlers list".

[Anonymous]

Most of this thread seems to be more about your short term memory problems than movies.

Did you know that apparently the latest Jurassic film made more money than the original?

Nah, it's more about you knowing I'm right, but trying to prove me wrong just on principle.

You said it yourself, that when the time comes to show movies to your kids, you go back to the 70s/80s.

And don't pull out the "well, that's the ones I know about" card. You know more about recent films than I do.

Check. Your move.

[Anonymous]

Oh this is from the guy who said that answer to hitlers favourite movie was " shindlers list".

And you say this guy doesn't say these things on purpose?

Steal his material and become a famous stand-up comedian. I bet he won't notice.

[vandeleur]

Ima we have a wonderful world of I will put on here on day

[Anonymous]

I'm gonna put you out of your misery, Sesh. Please don't hate me.

You mentioned:

Transformers - 80s cartoon, designed to sell toys.

Avatar - Reputedly had been in Cameron's mind for quite a long time, possibly as far as the 80s, a filmmaker that rose to prominence before 1995.

The Lord Of The Rings - Many adaptations were tried in the 70s, none a huge success, but still an old, old idea that has been copied to death.

Skyfall - Are you saying James Bond is an original 21st century idea?

Avengers/Marvel movies - Many adaptations were tried in the 70s, none a huge success, but still an old, old idea that has been copied to death. By Marvel itself.

Pirates of the Caribbean - Old Disney ride. Had been adapted into a video game in 1990 by Ron Gilbert, working for Lucasfilm at the time. Many similarities with the game, allegedly not a coincidence.

Did you know that apparently the latest Jurassic film made more money than the original?

Created before 1995. Which has been my point all along. No new ideas since the mid-90s. Kindly re-read all my posts.

You have also forgotten the Harry Potter franchise

Arguably the only original idea out of everything you mentioned. I'll admit I'm biased & I try to ignore it based on prejudice. The idea that one day it might be mentioned in the same breath as Lord of the Rings terrifies me. Probably happens already. *whimper*

Check. And Mate.

[Anonymous]

Ima we have a wonderful world of I will put on here on day

Yes.

[vandeleur]

We saved all his quotes in a " wonderful world document"

A lad he drinks with has had more birds than an aquarium


And his black book of girls phone numbers is like obituary of sex

[vandeleur]

To name a couple

[Kristy]

Why oh WHY does there need to be another Pirate's movie?

You can milk a franchise success for only so long till the point where it collapses and becomes a parody of itself. Disney (along with their other usual filth like Frozen) seem to have no problem with this. Now we're going to have 5th Pirate's movie from the original "trilogy"?

Hollywood had been out of doing anything original since 1977. Jaws and Star Wars being the swan song of entertainment. Not like those movies are being hacked and sold to the heap of Hollywood CGI shitbowl of...um...shit.

[Anonymous]

Why oh WHY does there need to be another Pirate's movie?

You can milk a franchise success for only so long till the point where it collapses and becomes a parody of itself. Disney (along with their other usual filth like Frozen) seem to have no problem with this. Now we're going to have 5th Pirate's movie from the original "trilogy"?

Hollywood had been out of doing anything original since 1977. Jaws and Star Wars being the swan song of entertainment. Not like those movies are being hacked and sold to the heap of Hollywood CGI shitbowl of...um...shit.

Yeah, the first two were good, but the third was very, very bad. I liked the first two Pirates enough to also buy the DVD of the third movie, but I thought that would be it.

Haven't watched fourth, or have any interest in it. I had no idea they were still going. That sucks. Hard.

[Anonymous]

We saved all his quotes in a " wonderful world document"

A lad he drinks with has had more birds than an aquarium


And his black book of girls phone numbers is like obituary of sex

To name a couple

I'm not trying to be a jackass Vandy, and maybe it's me, but I can't seem to understand your posts today.

When you say "obituary of sex", do you mean they all died? Or there's so many diseases in there that you will probably die if you call one of those girls?

What couple?

[Kristy]

They all sucked.

[Anonymous]

They all sucked.

Objectively, yes. But they did make a splash in the collective conscience.

And they're the closest thing to a Secret of Monkey Island movie, so... to be honest, when I watched the first, I was more concerned with trying to find Monkey Island references than I was with following what amounted to a plot.

Still, they were entertaining, although I admit I'm biased. The third was just horrible.

Th third was a turd! Uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu!!!

[Kristy]

Only Disney can take something like pirate legend stories and fuck them up to the point of utter absurdity.

[Anonymous]

I think Disney has changed in the last couple of years, though.

My nieces made me watch Frozen & I was pleasantly surprised with how it challenges the status quo. The prince charming was a manipulative asshole & the film tells children that it's ok to be alone. It's certainly preferable being alone over saddling yourself up with someone out of desperation.

Since Disney played a huge part on fucking up children with fairy tale morals, it's an interesting 180º twist.

Of course, all that people took away from it were the songs and the pretty dresses. But hey, they tried something different & I applaud them for it. We can't blame Disney for human stupidity.