2018 CPAC Stand Up Comedy Festival

[FORD]

Well it's that time of year again... where the rabid reich wing assemble in the nation's capitol to brag about all they have done to destroy everything which was once good about the USA.

And first up, here's a timely appearance from Terrorist Enabler and Ammosexual In Chief, Wayne LaPierre (French for "Little Peter") of the gun lobby NRA, just back from his victory lap following his latest mass murder in Parkland, Florida.....

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This guy is such a fucking imbecile. Scamalot Harris isn't remotely a "socialist", and Cuomo Jr is barely to the "left" of Little Peter himself.

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D'oh!! Crazy Cuban Canadian claims the Simpsons (except Lisa) are Republicans!

[FORD]

NRA Spokescunt Dana Leech blames corporate media for gun massacres??

[Seshmeister]

Just when things couldn't get any dumber the idea of giving teachers guns becomes a solution.

By an amazing coincidence a solution that makes the owners of the NRA a lot more cash.

There are 3 million teachers in the US, how many are to get guns - 1 in 10? 300 000 armed people around your children who are in a profession which is always in the top 10 for depression and anxiety.

Are you fucking crazy? Think back to your time at school and think of your teachers and consider which of them would have volunteered to be one of the gun people. Would you really want those people armed around your kids?

[FORD]

There was a teacher at my high school who literally picked up a student's desk and threw it across the classroom. I don't even want to imagine what he might have done with a gun.

My (sadly Republican) brother was a teacher up until he retired a few years ago. He owns a couple of guns, but as far as I know, he had enough sense not to take them to work with him.

[Seshmeister]

Most teachers of course are cool but when you get into numbers like that, even if 1 in a 1000 was a danger then that's a lot of dangerous people. Anecdotally it seems that most schools have a one or two 'characters' so it's maybe a way higher than than that.

[twonabomber]

There was a teacher at my high school who literally picked up a student's desk and threw it across the classroom. I don't even want to imagine what he might have done with a gun.

We had one of those, too. Basketball coach, and phys ed/health class teacher. He'd lose his temper pretty easily, then the chairs went flying.

[Nickdfresh]

This guy is such a fucking imbecile. Scamalot Harris isn't remotely a "socialist", and Cuomo Jr is barely to the "left" of Little Peter himself.

He looks like a creepy pedophile motherfucker...

[Nickdfresh]

Just when things couldn't get any dumber the idea of giving teachers guns becomes a solution.

By an amazing coincidence a solution that makes the owners of the NRA a lot more cash.

There are 3 million teachers in the US, how many are to get guns - 1 in 10? 300 000 armed people around your children who are in a profession which is always in the top 10 for depression and anxiety.

Are you fucking crazy? Think back to your time at school and think of your teachers and consider which of them would have volunteered to be one of the gun people. Would you really want those people armed around your kids?

Yeah, especially when there already WAS an armed deputy that basically shit himself and didn't go in after the gunmen. A trained cop didn't, but teachers will? They like to ignore the fact that there were already armed security people at most of the school shootings...

I don't have a problem with certain administrative staff carrying, or having access too, guns. But like this is a panacea so they can continue to allow unrestricted access to military type weapons for teens is fucking mindbogglingly...

NRA Calls For Teachers To Keep Loaded Gun Pointed At Class For Entire School Day
10/24/13 2:38pmSEE MORE: News

FAIRFAX, VA—In the wake of Monday’s tragic Nevada school shooting in which a 12-year-old student killed a teacher and wounded two classmates, representatives from the National Rifle Association pushed for all teachers around the country to keep a loaded gun pointed at their classes throughout the school day. “The only way to ensure safety in our schools is to make sure teachers hold fully loaded firearms at students from the moment they walk into the classroom until the moment they leave,” said NRA Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre, explaining that educators should, at the very least, point one 9mm semiautomatic pistol at the class while also keeping a concealed .357 magnum revolver and several spare cartridges of ammo nearby at all times. “If teachers need to write on the board or turn the page of a textbook, they should always use their free hand while keeping the gun at face level of all students and holding one finger firmly on the trigger. Frankly, this is just common sense if we want to prevent these tragedies like Nevada from happening again in the future.” LaPierre added that for maximum security, teachers should give all lessons from underneath their desks while blindly firing a semiautomatic M4 carbine assault rifle in all directions.

[Seshmeister]

There is also the fact that research found that 82% of rounds fired in gun battles by NYPD miss their target.
Fuck knows what the hit rate of a frightened teacher would be.

Problem seems to be people live in movie fantasy worlds where they are Bruce Willis or some shit.

[FORD]

Herr Cheetofuhrer speaks to his wackjob base.....

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How do we get them goddam Ay-rabs out of the country??

[FORD]

Yeah, especially when there already WAS an armed deputy that basically shit himself and didn't go in after the gunmen. A trained cop didn't, but teachers will? They like to ignore the fact that there were already armed security people at most of the school shootings...

That guy is now the third biggest coward in the state of Florida. George Zimmerman & Marco Rubio are still ahead of him, of course. Even so, this guy was such a pussy I'm surprised Trump hasn't grabbed him yet.

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