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Thread: Roth Sued by Gardner

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    Roth Sued by Gardner

    How did this get missed..? The top news story involving Diamond Dave for 2017... LOL

    From TMZ:

    David Lee Roth's dog allegedly took a bloody bite out of a landscaper, but the former Van Halen frontman claims it was, at worst, a small nip.

    The landscaper, Timothy Salinas, says he was doing maintenance work in Roth's Pasadena yard when the rocker's Australian Cattle dog suddenly attacked and took a chunk out of his lower left calf. Salinas says his boss told him he'd lose his job if he reported it.

    Roth begs to differ. He tells us he never hired Salinas, he hired the landscaping company. He also points out Salinas waited 47 days before going to the hospital -- and he only found out about it after Salinas made an insurance claim.

    Roth's lawyer Ed McPherson says the whole thing is nothing more than a celebrity shakedown, although pics of the alleged attack look pretty gnarly.
    http://www.tmz.com/2017/01/28/david-...-bite-lawsuit/
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    Somebody get him a doctor.
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    The pic shows a nip at worst.



    The story went away I guess it was settled for a few hundred bucks.
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    A few hundred bucks and the gardener got to play tambourine on Wolfgang's solo album.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seshmeister View Post
    The pic shows a nip at worst.



    The story went away I guess it was settled for a few hundred bucks.
    The bite radius looks suspiciously like it conforms to Roth's dental work, as evidenced on the right side of the photos.

    Call InfoWars and TMZ: Roth's a cannibal.

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    Sounds like the landscaping company is worried about bringing attention to itself because they probably hire illegal aliens as landscapers. Nothing we all don't know already. With Trump's ICE prowling around you got to be careful these days. California doesn't give a shit.
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    The cannibal angle seems plausible... Ya think Roth may have picked up the taste for human flesh during one of his jungle adventures in the 80's..?

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    Quote Originally Posted by ZahZoo View Post
    The cannibal angle seems plausible... Ya think Roth may have picked up the taste for human flesh during one of his jungle adventures in the 80's..?
    Yeah Roth is probably a member of the Illuminati and they were doing a Satanic ritual where they were eating humans and one of the people MS-13 trafficked to be used as sacrifices in Los Angeles elitist Illuminati ceremonies escaped.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    Yeah Roth is probably a member of the Illuminati and they were doing a Satanic ritual where they were eating humans and one of the people MS-13 trafficked to be used as sacrifices in Los Angeles elitist Illuminati ceremonies escaped.
    I...I...I knew it! I fucking KNEW it!

    All this time, I knew it.

    Even when I didn't KNOW it, I SUSPECTED it.

    Okay, here's the plan:

    a) Am going to look at some internet porn, jack off, then take a nap.

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    The wrasslin masks and now a dog eating gardners is all starting to make sense...


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    Quote Originally Posted by Terry View Post
    I...I...I knew it! I fucking KNEW it!

    All this time, I knew it.

    Even when I didn't KNOW it, I SUSPECTED it.

    Okay, here's the plan:

    a) Am going to look at some internet porn, jack off, then take a nap.
    Remember you heard it from me first. I out scooped InfoWars on this story. Smacking Little Elvis to porn is why the internet exists. Wait until sex robots become affordable. Nobody will leave their house.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ZahZoo View Post
    The wrasslin masks and now a dog eating gardners is all starting to make sense...

    Heard Dave was supposed to play the lead in Nacho Libre but his dog kept attacking people so Jack Black got the part.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    Remember you heard it from me first. I out scooped InfoWars on this story. Smacking Little Elvis to porn is why the internet exists. Wait until sex robots become affordable. Nobody will leave their house.
    Once sex robots that can cook and clean become readily affordable, the divorce rate will spike up to 99%.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Terry View Post
    Once sex robots that can cook and clean become readily affordable, the divorce rate will spike up to 99%.
    What makes you think the sexbots wont divorce us?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terry View Post
    Once sex robots that can cook and clean become readily affordable, the divorce rate will spike up to 99%.
    Does having sex with your cleaning robot count as cheating?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Seshmeister View Post
    Does having sex with your cleaning robot count as cheating?
    That would be cuntsidered a "dirty job" so technically it falls within the acceptable use criteria for the device.

    Who knew Roth was such a technological visionary..?


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    Quote Originally Posted by Nickdfresh View Post
    What makes you think the sexbots wont divorce us?
    Probably will happen after men want their sex robots to be even more realistic and artificial intelligence advances to where the sex robots become self-aware. Then law makers looking for a cause to justify their existence start championing sex robot rights and they end up having the same rights as humans. The next thing is sex robots start filing for divorce and taking half of their so called owners assets in divorce court.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Seshmeister View Post
    Does having sex with your cleaning robot count as cheating?
    I'm sure there are some crazy fools out there having sex with their iRobot vacuum cleaners already. The vacuum sucks harder than their wife does.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ZahZoo View Post
    That would be cuntsidered a "dirty job" so technically it falls within the acceptable use criteria for the device.

    Who knew Roth was such a technological visionary..?

    Dave probably is the weird recluse that he is because he has his house full of sex robots. Every color and flavor. When he's singing about She being his machine it ain't about no fucking car. It's about his robot lover. The guy will never get married.

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    yeah.... I'd hit it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nickdfresh View Post
    What makes you think the sexbots wont divorce us?
    Well, they don't have to be ULTRA smart sexbots...just smart enough to wash dishes, do laundry, make sandwiches and gobble the nobblin: they don't need to be self-learning super AI sexbots. I don't need a sexbot that can teach itself quantum physics, but rather one just smart enough to get my tootise roll cock in its mouth and not squeeze my raisin nuts too hard.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    Probably will happen after men want their sex robots to be even more realistic and artificial intelligence advances to where the sex robots become self-aware. Then law makers looking for a cause to justify their existence start championing sex robot rights and they end up having the same rights as humans. The next thing is sex robots start filing for divorce and taking half of their so called owners assets in divorce court.
    Christ, we'd ALMOST be better off sticking with our human wives if the scenario you described is the eventual outcome...

    ALMOST...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Terry View Post
    Well, they don't have to be ULTRA smart sexbots...just smart enough to wash dishes, do laundry, make sandwiches and gobble the nobblin: they don't need to be self-learning super AI sexbots. I don't need a sexbot that can teach itself quantum physics, but rather one just smart enough to get my tootise roll cock in its mouth and not squeeze my raisin nuts too hard.
    What you are sayin is you just want a slave. Nothing new. The plantation owners had it all figured out a long time ago. Then we decided that was too radical and calmed that shit down and then it was just screwing the cleaning lady or nanny after that. Humans being the sick puppies they really are want slavery back. I guess having robot slaves makes us feel less guilty about our carnal and greedy desires.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FORD View Post


    yeah.... I'd hit it.
    You better get up on your game. Barbie might fall for the giant sized Ken doll and I hear he's giant in the right places.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    What you are sayin is you just want a slave. Nothing new. The plantation owners had it all figured out a long time ago. Then we decided that was too radical and calmed that shit down and then it was just screwing the cleaning lady or nanny after that. Humans being the sick puppies they really are want slavery back. I guess having robot slaves makes us feel less guilty about our carnal and greedy desires.
    Well, no, I'm not really saying I want a slave, because I wouldn't want to exercise complete domination over another human being...

    I mean, I'd be good to the sexbot. I would allow the sexbot to have plenty of downtime. And, because it is a robot, I wouldn't feel the least bit guilty about anything I told the sexbot to do.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    You better get up on your game. Barbie might fall for the giant sized Ken doll and I hear he's giant in the right places.
    Nitro, stop with the "your sexbot is going to get smart and leave/turn on you eventually" biz: you're putting me off my fantasy

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    Quote Originally Posted by Terry View Post
    Nitro, stop with the "your sexbot is going to get smart and leave/turn on you eventually" biz: you're putting me off my fantasy
    Well I think that's why some of these tech gurus are coming out and warning us about Artificial Intelligence. They gamed it out in their minds and their fantasies got ruined. Technology probably will just take us back to the cave. Then we can go back to short, violent lives screwing real women between chasing down dinner and killing off the competition for pussy.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    Well I think that's why some of these tech gurus are coming out and warning us about Artificial Intelligence. They gamed it out in their minds and their fantasies got ruined. Technology probably will just take us back to the cave. Then we can go back to short, violent lives screwing real women between chasing down dinner and killing off the competition for pussy.

    God, I hope that scenario isn't our eventuality: I'm not butch enough to make it as a caveman (I bruise like a peach).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Terry View Post
    God, I hope that scenario isn't our eventuality: I'm not butch enough to make it as a caveman (I bruise like a peach).
    I wouldn't waste too many worry cycles over this... AI isn't smart enough to do anything on it's own without a human showing it how.

    Sex robots won't be replacing the real thing any time soon... can you imagine the cost of battery replacements in one of those things..?

    If you bruise like a peach though... you may want to stay out of Roth's garden. Ole Russ may make a meal out of you...

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    Quote Originally Posted by ZahZoo View Post
    I wouldn't waste too many worry cycles over this... AI isn't smart enough to do anything on it's own without a human showing it how.

    Sex robots won't be replacing the real thing any time soon... can you imagine the cost of battery replacements in one of those things..?

    If you bruise like a peach though... you may want to stay out of Roth's garden. Ole Russ may make a meal out of you...
    Honestly, I wouldn't even want to meet Roth these days, much less break onto his property...or mow his lawn and get bit by his dog.

    While I'm sure it would have been an experience hanging out with Dave thirty-odd years ago, I think the novelty of hanging out with him now would wear off as quickly as it took him to laugh at one of his own jokes...which is to say, pretty damn quick: for the last twenty years, he has come off more and more like a progressively looney, aging, eccentric loner.

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    Not buying it. If Roth was signing autographs near where you live you would head right down. Most of us would and there is nothing wrong with that. Last time I was in LA I drove over to Orange Grove there in Pasadena just to check his house out and I went over to Las Lunas just to check out the old Van Halen house. I grew up on their music. Those were the places a lot of the songs I was listening to were written. Of course you don't try and scale Dave's wall or pester the people currently living in Eddie and Alex's old house. It's just visiting some places where history was made and we all do that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ZahZoo View Post
    I wouldn't waste too many worry cycles over this... AI isn't smart enough to do anything on it's own without a human showing it how.

    Sex robots won't be replacing the real thing any time soon... can you imagine the cost of battery replacements in one of those things..?

    If you bruise like a peach though... you may want to stay out of Roth's garden. Ole Russ may make a meal out of you...
    The only people who are going to bang sex robots are the people who never could get a real woman to begin with. They are apparently popular with people who never could afford a decent call girl. They can bang Barbie instead of some old saggy ho who was ridden hard and put away wet.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    The only people who are going to bang sex robots are the people who never could get a real woman to begin with. They are apparently popular with people who never could afford a decent call girl. They can bang Barbie instead of some old saggy ho who was ridden hard and put away wet.
    Look, I've had a real woman, and I've ALWAYS had enough money in the bank to afford a decent call girl...

    You WERE referring to me, right?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    Not buying it. If Roth was signing autographs near where you live you would head right down. Most of us would and there is nothing wrong with that. Last time I was in LA I drove over to Orange Grove there in Pasadena just to check his house out and I went over to Las Lunas just to check out the old Van Halen house. I grew up on their music. Those were the places a lot of the songs I was listening to were written. Of course you don't try and scale Dave's wall or pester the people currently living in Eddie and Alex's old house. It's just visiting some places where history was made and we all do that.

    Shit, when Van Halen were peaking in the early 1980s, I thought Roth was da bom, yo! Is still right up there in terms of the great rock front men in my book. One of the better performers, great interview subject back in the day. High energy, positive vibe. Plus, because of my age, he wasn't a guy who had already come and gone like The Beatles, or had already peaked like The Rolling Stones, or disbanded like Led Zeppelin, or was plodding along post-apex like the Moonless Who, or had went to disco route like KISS. And back then I was still young enough to sort of buy into the rock star myths and images.

    Still enjoyed his performances even through the...um, let us say 'wilderness years' post-1996 debacle. Saw him in 1999, 2002, 2005, 2006. Did great in 2007. Not so hot in 2012. By the time 2015 rolled around, he was done. I couldn't be bothered even seeing the band in 2015, and the venue was less than 10 miles from my house, the ticket prices weren't expensive and it was on a night that would have been totally convenient to go.

    Also, it ties into something I remembered from the few brief celebrity encounters I've had either at record store signings or random, chance encounters at airports which is coupled by something Eddie Trunk (of all people) recently said, in that most rock stars don't particularly want to meet their fans. The flip side being that the few celebrity encounters I have had weren't anything particularly special...none of them. As well as to be expected, really, because these people are all...people. And it's foolish to think otherwise, although with America and the cult of celebrity clearly plenty of people do.

    I'd agree there's nothing wrong with getting an autograph, but I have no particular reason to want an autograph from Roth at this point: if I can't be bothered to go see him perform anymore, his signature on a slip of paper doesn't have much of anything by way of meaning for me, even if he's signing it right in front of me.

    STILL one of the all time rock front men greats in my book, though. Always will be. This is also to be expected, homoerotic parents basement dwelling middle aged wanna be rock star failure that I am.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Terry View Post
    Look, I've had a real woman, and I've ALWAYS had enough money in the bank to afford a decent call girl...

    You WERE referring to me, right?
    Haha! No.

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    Who needs sex dolls when you have vodka? May all of your fantasy girls piss the bed in your drunken dreams. If you want something wet and fishy smelling, have some caviar. Russian collusion? Absolutely!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    Not buying it. If Roth was signing autographs near where you live you would head right down. Most of us would and there is nothing wrong with that. Last time I was in LA I drove over to Orange Grove there in Pasadena just to check his house out and I went over to Las Lunas just to check out the old Van Halen house. I grew up on their music. Those were the places a lot of the songs I was listening to were written. Of course you don't try and scale Dave's wall or pester the people currently living in Eddie and Alex's old house. It's just visiting some places where history was made and we all do that.
    I've never had much motivation to seek out and see celebrity homes and never sought an autograph, ever... in most cases they're just unremarkable structures where daily life occurred. When I have, it was boring as hell and a waste of time going there.

    As historic houses go there were 2 exceptions for me based on the vibe I felt being there... Ulysses S. Grant's home in Galena, Illinois is relatively plain and extremely devoid of much fancy adornments or interesting architecture. But the building and property layout projected a strong sense of simplistic order in it's design elements. Also a lot of dark energy there.

    Graceland was another... from a distance it appears larger than life and packed full of grandeur. Once inside it felt tiny, cramped and almost claustrophobic. It's got a really weird blend of tacky decor while also combined with normal crap you see in a home of that time. It's a really strange contradictory blend of weirdness... The end of the tour puts you in a garden where Elvis is buried. All I can say is it had a strange energy that made me want to leave and never return.

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    I thought George Washington's estate at Mount Vernon was interesting. They are still making whiskey there. Jefferson's Montecello is interesting as well. I found the Rockefeller estate in Kyquit quite bizarre. Hearst Castle is an interesting former private estate. The top private home is the Winchester mystery house in San Jose, CA. Sarah Winchester was a builder's dream.

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