Beto O'Rourke you all remember him right? The failed musician who put down his bass because he married into wealth says he's going to run for Pressie of the Fascist States of Imperialism.

"Jello Biafra pull my finger."

"Beto O’Rourke, the 46-year-old former Texas congressman whose near-miss Senate run last year propelled him to Democratic stardom, announced on Thursday that he was running for president, betting that voters will prize his message of national unity and generational change in a 2020 primary teeming with committed progressives.

His decision jolts an early election season already stuffed with contenders, adding to the mix a relentless campaigner with a small-dollar fund-raising army, the performative instincts of a former punk rocker and a pro-immigrant vision to counteract President Trump’s."

Story here, you cretins:

Oh, bull-to-the-shit. His wife stands to inherent billions so you think he's going to gut those GOP tax cuts? Get the fuck outta of here. Oh, and speaking his wife, she is pro-charter schools which has also fucked over the educational system in this country that money and money alone can buy your F A T rich ass into any college. "National unity and generational change" what in the FUCK does that mean? He'll end up like Hilary, hobnobbing with Springsteen and Madonna and wasting money on ads that tell us that the F A T Orange man is a fucking retard with a worm-eaten syphilis brain. Oh, what a way t run a campaign.

Hey Beto, you wanna win so you can keep these GOP tax cuts going hire me as your campaign manager. I'll make god damn sure you win. And I'll tell you right now my cut will be 65% which is reasonable if you want to be the 46th Fascist Imperialist of Corporate America. Otherwise, look to repeating how "fucking proud' you are that you lost - again.