Russell Wilson Comes to Denvoid!

[Kristy]

Seattle is a depressing shithole," Russell Wilson told me in a personal interview conducted just now. "It's always gloomy, rainy, sad, utterly unfuckingbearable. The whole city is like a leper colony. I might as well be living in Cleveland."

[Kristy]

I asked Russell Wilson some more and asked what brought him to Denvoid.

"Well, it's good to be part of the land of the living and civilization," He told me. "I mean, Seattle is America's swamp ass. Humid, itchy, full of sucicidial unfriendly people. You'd swear they just crawled out of Lake Erie. Here, in Denvoid, I can breathe the air (expect for all the F A T Texans and Californians hogging it up) and my trophy wife can do all the skiing she wants in Aspen. I'm going to love it here providing Putin doesn't nuke the place."

[Kristy]

Hi everybody. It's me, again. You know, Russ..Russell Wilson. I'm here to let you all know I'm officially a Denvoid Bronco now. Fuck yeah, or what?



I know, I know, I look good. Did some OTAs and mini-stoner camp starts soon. I can't begin to tell you how happy I am to be out of that Lake Erie shithole known as Seattle and to a place where the sun shines and the locals don't look like mutants. Yeah, you can make for the solid argument that there are some F A T fucks around here but they are from Texas and/or California the two Lake Erie states of America. So I'm just checking in. Here's to hoping Putin nukes Seattle soon.