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No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar! -
The Van Hagar rider had more lube required than a fucking steam engine and the Tin Man.No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!Comment
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Of course you follow the yellow brick road you will run into some scarecrow looking fuck named Sammy Hagar singing “If I only had a brain”.No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!Comment
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It’s not hands on your hips, stick out your tush and give out a push. It’s equally as gay and even more dorky. You line up a train and each member waddles with a stiff walk like you are still hurting from the previous night’s ass fucking. While the train moves across the stage you move your arms up and down in an alternating motion like a robot. Van Halen never did shit like this before Hagar showed up.No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!Comment
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What a bunch of relationship experts and... this is as exhausting as watching prognosticators and proctologists talk about NFL Draft Day.
Since we are all experts, this is the best lineup for a show:
Van Halen Era as the Closer
DLR
Dweezil Zappa
Alex
Michael
Van Hagar Era as the Opener
Sammy
Joe Satriani
Alex
Michael
My hot takes:
1. Yes, I included Van Hagar, suck it. If it is about the money, then you cannot deny adding Hagar will bring in more people.
2. Musicians like to play music until they can no longer play their instrument. Sometimes it's just about the music, not $.
3. If you're Phil Collins, you sit in a wheelchair and sing, but you are boring.
4. Steve Vai has no business in participating, he's too processed. Write some damn good music.
5. Nitro, you picked up your jokes from the elementary school playground, pick up your game.
6. It's the Vault.
7. If I see one more cry for Video from Oakland 1981, etc. I'm sending in the nanobots.Last edited by Mushroom; 05-13-2022, 11:56 AM.Comment
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We don't need Van Hagar at an Eddie tribute show/tour.
Same reason why you won't hear Ed's glorious music he made for that porno some years ago. IT SUCKS.
The Van Hagar period began what was to be Ed's eventual downfall (until Wolf saved him and Dave rejoined).
The music became just as Dave described it in his book; "morose".
Sure there may have been some highlights of classic Ed brilliance but largely the fire that produced the six pack on Van Hagar was gone. So why have that represented?=V V=
ole No.1 The finest
EAT US AND SMILEComment
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I could see a situation where you might have Al, Mikey, and whatever guitar player doing some of the "better" Van Hagar songs instrumentally... without the Ched Rocker needing to be there at all.
Sort of like Ed, Al, and Mikey did, even when they were touring with Spam himself.....
Some of that music was alright, as long as Hagar's screeching & shitty lyrics were removed from it.Eat Us And Smile
Cenk For America 2024!!
Justice Democrats
"If the American people had ever known the truth about what we (the BCE) have done to this nation, we would be chased down in the streets and lynched." - Poppy Bush, 1992Comment
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I've never seen that before but it sounds badass as an instrumentalI could see a situation where you might have Al, Mikey, and whatever guitar player doing some of the "better" Van Hagar songs instrumentally... without the Ched Rocker needing to be there at all.
Sort of like Ed, Al, and Mikey did, even when they were touring with Spam himself.....
Some of that music was alright, as long as Hagar's screeching & shitty lyrics were removed from it.Comment
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New Michael Anthony interview confirming discussions on the tribute tour...
Notable quotes:
Mike... In the interview, which you can see below, Anthony says that he had been on "a conference call with [Van Halen manager] Irving Azoff, Alex [Van Halen] and Dave [Lee Roth] last year."
Dave... Roth said that, in his view, any kind of tribute tour would require two musicians for every position, before offering up Steve Lukather and Tommy Lee as additional potential participants, along with Satriani, Anthony and Alex Van Halen.
Wolfgang... “I can confidently say I will NEVER replace my father in Van Halen and tour around the world disrespecting my father’s memory. “No EVH = No VH. Get the fuck over it, but if you can’t, just quit bothering me about it and demanding I do it when I’ve made it very clear how I feel.”
ZahZoo... I like and respect The Kid's™ attitude...
Last edited by ZahZoo; 05-14-2022, 08:35 AM."If you want to be a monk... you gotta cook a lot of rice...”Comment
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I think the 2 people for each position was just a joke by Roth that's now being repeated everywhere as a statement.
I also think it's very possible the idea was abandoned a while ago after they mentioned it to Wolfgang and he reacted poorly.Comment
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I mean, if whatever remnants of the band want to launch a tribute tour - regardless of whatever lineup configuration - who really gives a shit at this point?
"Wah, wah, wah...fuck Sammy!" Hey, fuck it. So what if Alex, Dave, Wolfgang, Sammy, Mike Anthony AND Gary Cherone go on the road billed as 'Van Halen'?
Whatever. Get Brian Young (or some other Van Halen tribute band Eddie clone) up there onstage with them.
Shit, go the Dio route and have Eddie's hologram playing onstage with 'em.
You know what is REALLY gay? Even gayer than Sammy? Even gayer than Roth's closeted offstage lifestyle, complete with a live-in Asian houseboy masseuse?
Contemplating who should be fronting Van Halen circa 2022 tribute band tour.
Beyond any minute sense of disgust I have as a fan over the possibility over 'Van Halen' continuing after Eddie died, I must say the fact that Anthony was approached AFTER Eddie died re: rejoining the group...it gave me a hearty chuckle. Mostly because it just made sense, because after 1984, Van Halen became the band that couldn't get anything right. Even in 1996, when the four members of CVH were still vertical and in a reasonable condition to reunite, all they could manage was a couple of tracks for a greatest hits album. No new full-length album. No tour. Ten years on, they bring Roth back in the fold but now Anthony's out. Do they replace Anthony with a killer bass player? Nope. Ed's kid. First full-length album with Roth in nearly thirty years. All new material? Nope. Half leftovers. They finally consider bringing Anthony back, but by the time an offer is made Ed has become too sick to perform, and even if Ed hadn't been too sick to perform Roth's performing abilities gave up the ghost back in 2008.
Van Halen wasted too much time and countless opportunities between 1996 and 2008 to reunite the classic lineup. In terms of the really stellar reunion fans wanted to see - where the principals were in a condition to do such a reunion justice - it never happened. Even before Ed passed away, it was clear that it never would happen, because Roth was shot in terms of being anything other than a strained yelp of his former self. Dave can't even front a full-length solo set with a faceless group of unknowns in front of a theater-sized crowd anymore. Ed is in his grave.
It's over.
Let Sammy, Dave, Alex, Mike, Wolfgang or whoever pick at the carcass for the scraps if they want. Myself? I don't even want to see/hear clips of it online for free should that come to pass: it's at the point where I couldn't even derive a sense of sardonic pleasure watching such a proposed train wreck. We've all been gawking at said wreck since 1996. These days, I would prefer remembering the band when they couldn't do any wrong.Scramby eggs and bacon.Comment
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