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Thread: The Summer of Kristy

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    The Summer of Kristy

    ...is now officially over. Three days early.

    What did you government-sponsored cretins do with your 2022 summer? Don't bother for you know no one gives a shit. I bet you celebrated the Fourth with shitty beer, burgers and COVID with self-loathing.


    I did a lot of drugs like I said I would. Mainly heavy psychedelics and significant milligram edibles with lawyers from the ACLU to see if I would "freak out" and Boy Howdy did I. Believed I saw the ghost of Marvin Gaye or at least had a intense conversation with the guy.

    Betcha did not know ACLU lawyers are sluts. All of them. Good news none of them were transplants so no Texans of Californian twitfarts. Plus, I would never waste good drugs with F A T people


    Anyway, did come with some consequences like I think I permanently fucked up my vision and some ataxia issues. Most likely my corpus callosum is fried. I'm not at all concerned not going to live forever.

    Planning on doing more drugs @Kristy Mas time
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    Thank goodness you're back. Von was worried sick!
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    Glad you're back... Von just hasn't been himself since you disappeared?

    Did you get an early release for good behavior?
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    Praise Jesus! Maybe don't tell your social worker or parole officer you're on the web again...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nickdfresh View Post
    Praise Jesus! Maybe don't tell your social worker or parole officer you're on the web again...
    Our user agreement does clearly state that the site is not responsible for loss of freedom due to parole or probation violations...

    I believe it's in the Use by Degenerates section.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ZahZoo View Post
    Our user agreement does clearly state that the site is not responsible for loss of freedom due to parole or probation violations...

    I believe it's in the Use by Degenerates section.
    Goddamned fine print.
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    Quote Originally Posted by twonabomber View Post
    Thank goodness you're back. Von was worried sick!
    Von was welcome to come to Bailey, he fit right in with all the MAGA weeds in that shitty mountain town. Although seeing him doing mushrooms with liberals would be trip in itself.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nickdfresh View Post
    Praise Jesus! Maybe don't tell your social worker or parole officer you're on the web again...
    Can I just do drugs in peace?


    Geesh~

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    By the way, here's my The Summer of Kristy drug-induced song list. No, you will not find it on Suckafy, Pandumpa, or Amazlam Music. Why? Simply because if you subscribe to one of those music-destroying corporate monoliths to "stream" on your over-priced shitty phone which will be burned in a fire pit in India in the next year you're a fucking idiot. Music and drugs should be kicked old school and no, I don't mean vinyl because vinyl is for hipster pussies who think The Righteous Brothers are still relevant. What you do is transfer the vinyl to digital and act too stupid to notice the god damn irony. So blow me with a popsicle stick

    So...does it suck? Probably. But I'm way cooler than all of you.


    Jon Bedda - Tangiers
    Sandie Shaw- Nothing Less Than Brilliant


    Yeah, I know. She's a limey but what can you do?

    Where was I?

    Air Formation - Slow You Down
    Not Plain Jane - Symmetry
    Dr. Hook - Sharing The Night Together
    Santana - Hold On
    On Off Man - Baroque
    Street Fever - In Your Lungs
    Pindrops - Reflection II
    Glaare - Mirrors
    Dead Serpent - Destruction
    Time for Dreams - Death To All Actors
    Camper Van Beethoven - Pictures of Matchstick Men
    Barry Manilow with Mel Torme - Big City Blues
    Frank Sinatra w/Antônio Carlos Jobim- Once I Loved
    Logic Stories - Interstellar
    The Hollies- He Ain't F A T, He's My Brother
    William Orbit - A Touch Of The Night
    Mark Allen Smith - Skeleton Fight
    Mystic Braves - Shads of Gray
    Tami Nelson - Call Your Mama
    Billy Fury - Wondrous Place
    Marcos Valio - Batucuda Surglu
    Jack Rabbit Smith - Speed of Love
    Yola - Faraway Look
    Jackie Gleason & His Orchestra - Melancholy Serenade
    Mitch & Mickey - A Kiss At The End Of The Rainbow
    Don Dixon - Praying Mantis
    Love & Rockets - Saudade
    Hugo Montenegro - Don't You Worry About A Thing
    David Bowie - Golden Years
    Sheldon Allman - Radioactive Mama
    Fastball - Holding The Devil's Hand
    Jolie & The Jackalopes - She's Too High


    Bebo & The Goodtime Boys - Let The Fun Begin
    Skeewiff - For A Few Beats More
    Joe Henry - Flesh & Blood
    Bobby Hebb - Where Are You
    Mark & The Mirrors - Hypnotic
    Morgan James - Give You Up




    Where was I?

    Tennis (local band) - Need Your Love
    Herb Albert & The Tijuana Brass - Hurts So Good
    Radost Moja - Ljubi Menja, Ljubi
    The Last Drive - Every Night
    Lee Baker - Take It From Me
    Lyn Avalon - I Walk The Streets
    Whiskey Daredevils - Susan Instead
    Carl Lester & The Showstoppers - When You See Me Hurt
    Pokey LaFarge - Something In The Water
    Melanie - Brand New Key
    Bobby Caldwell- Please Be Kind
    Chris Joss - The Man With The Suitcase
    Vittoria Fleet - Stage Whsiper
    Venus In Ares - Heart In A Machine
    Tpisy - Lipstick Tree
    Mademoiselle Nineteen - Je Ne Vois Que Vous


    Marc Almond - Shadows & Reflections
    Nelson Riddle - Your Zowie Face
    Piney Gir - Puppy Love
    The Moons - Today
    Jack Jones - Wives & Lovers
    The James Hunter Six - This Is Where We Came In
    April March - Zero Zero
    Dorothy Lamour - The One Rose That's Left In My Heart
    Jack Webb - Stranger In Town


    The Baseballs - Love On The Brain
    The Nude Party - Paper Trail (Money)
    The Ugly Beats - Things I Need To Know
    The Real Gone Tones - Stick With It
    Robert Maxwell - Fly Me To The Moon
    The Bird & The Bee - Jamie's Cryin'
    Trees Speak - Interference
    Coconut Shampoo - Neverever
    Quincy Jones- Hang On Sloopy
    Trini Lopez - Unchain My Heart
    The Heardsman - She Knows It
    Memphis Slim - Steppin' Out
    The Reasoners - Dull Today
    DeVotchka & The Mychael Danna - First Push
    Suzi Chunk - I Can't Stand Mirrors
    The Galileo 7 - Slipping Away
    The Rolling Stones - Ain't No Use In Crying
    Cilla Black - I Only Live To Love You
    Holly Golightly - Without You Here


    Juliet Roberts - High On A Feeling
    Orville Peck - Winds Change
    The Zanes - The Blob
    Nancy Wilson - Call Me
    The Blues Brothers - I Don't Know
    Henry Mancini - Flamingo
    The Brady Bunch - It's Sunshine Day
    The Cramps - Goo Goo Muck
    Peter Bruntell - Dinosaur
    Tami Nelson - Cry Over You
    Gary McFarland - Satisfaction
    Blue Tofu - Hunger Tango
    Clan Of Xymox - Muscovite Mosquito (4AD Mix)



    There's more but the point being I'm much cooler than all of you

  13. #10
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    By the way slave Lake Erie SESH mind-control corporate/subliminal fascism only allows 5 vids.

    That Tami Neilson is the real-fucking-deal (for a F A T T Y)

  14. #11
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    Think I recognized at least one song in that long list....

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    Not surprising when you live chronically in 1984.

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    That's ridiculous. 1996 maybe. Not 1984.

    Music - like all other forms of media - was seriously damaged by Bill Clinton's ridiculous Telecommunications Act of 1996. And there's been very few bands worth talking about since then.

    Except for 3rd Secret. They're alright.

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    Horse Hockey

    Clinton killed radio, Apple killed music in 2001

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    Clinton's bill also allowed the consolidation of the record industry. Once it was under 5 conglomerates, they didn't sign anybody who wasn't a Disney bubblegum singer, cookie cutter rap posers, or right wing propaganda "country" singers.

    The greedy pig bastards at the record labels may well blame Apple for itunes or Napster, and later on they would blame it on Pandora or Spotify, but the bottom line is.... you can't expect to sell records, if you aren't releasing anything worth buying.

    The disposable corporate music lends itself to the iTunes model, because even the people dumb enough to pay for this shitty music in a lossy mp3 format will only pay for the one song that would have previously been released as a "single".

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    Quote Originally Posted by FORD View Post
    Think I recognized at least one song in that long list....

    There's a reason why you don't... most of that music is shit. Kristy is tryin to be edgy forcin herself to listen to mediocre music (she doesn't know that).
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    Not surprising when you live chronically in 1984.
    That's 78-84 around here, mister.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mushroom View Post
    There's a reason why you don't... most of that music is shit. Kristy is tryin to be edgy forcin herself to listen to mediocre music (she doesn't know that).

    Jack Webb and Mel Torme is "edgy"?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    Jack Webb and Mel Torme is "edgy"?
    I didn't say they were edgy. You read in haste after that last bong hit. You're listening to old hag music.

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    The only thing here that is old is you, grandpa. You have a homoerotic fixation on a irrelevant rock star from 40 years ago Why so bitter? Did AARP cancel your bingo night?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    Jack Webb and Mel Torme is "edgy"?
    Apparently YOU think so, Hagatha.
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    You're one to speak, Kirsten.


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    Summer of masturbating to K-Pop girls. (Or dudes for Von)...

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    Quote Originally Posted by FORD View Post
    Clinton's bill also allowed the consolidation of the record industry. Once it was under 5 conglomerates, they didn't sign anybody who wasn't a Disney bubblegum singer, cookie cutter rap posers, or right wing propaganda "country" singers.

    The greedy pig bastards at the record labels may well blame Apple for itunes or Napster, and later on they would blame it on Pandora or Spotify, but the bottom line is.... you can't expect to sell records, if you aren't releasing anything worth buying.

    The disposable corporate music lends itself to the iTunes model, because even the people dumb enough to pay for this shitty music in a lossy mp3 format will only pay for the one song that would have previously been released as a "single".
    There really is no music industry as we knew it. Sure people will still make music and perform it but it will be smaller scale. Without a big promotion machine the big money is just not going to be there neither will there be the Incentive for people to try and make it. The volume you would have to sell streaming to make any real money is huge. One argument is you can reach more people online worldwide but how are they going to know about you without any marketing or promotion? What the labels and media provided was the marketing and promotion.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Express View Post
    There really is no music industry as we knew it. Sure people will still make music and perform it but it will be smaller scale. Without a big promotion machine the big money is just not going to be there neither will there be the Incentive for people to try and make it. The volume you would have to sell streaming to make any real money is huge. One argument is you can reach more people online worldwide but how are they going to know about you without any marketing or promotion? What the labels and media provided was the marketing and promotion.
    I don't everything but the fundamentals are still there and fucking good riddance anyways to the old "music industry". They raped artists repeatedly and really the same denominator is that the real money is in the touring and not in making albums. The money only sparingly went to big acts anyway. But I could give a fuck about Don Henley's retirement fund at this point. Look at that Uncle Milty's nephew cunt that totally fucked Van Halen on their first contract. Really not sad if fucking dicks like that dont have a job anymore...

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    Where is Bg Train anyways...

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    See what happens when you take drugs all summer. Forgot my theme song - maybe so due to the fact Paul Weller is a total fucking asshole.



    Welcome to the "most exclusive club' of limey retards, indeed.

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    It's back! Last week of June I'm going back to Bailey to do nothing but drugs for 5 weeks straight.




    Did I mention that I love drugs? And summer? And doing drugs in summer?

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    Loser!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Von Halen View Post
    Loser!
    LMFAO!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nickdfresh View Post
    I don't everything but the fundamentals are still there and fucking good riddance anyways to the old "music industry". They raped artists repeatedly and really the same denominator is that the real money is in the touring and not in making albums. The money only sparingly went to big acts anyway. But I could give a fuck about Don Henley's retirement fund at this point. Look at that Uncle Milty's nephew cunt that totally fucked Van Halen on their first contract. Really not sad if fucking dicks like that dont have a job anymore...
    It all revolved around radio. You only had a few choices so local radio stations were heavy influencers. Many bands got their break from a local DJ. Radio as we knew it is gone.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Von Halen View Post
    Loser!
    As usual, you're invited, Von. But be warned, you'll be doing drugs with some rich asshole liberals (well, two of them) but the upshot is they love guns. They bring along their guns and bitch a lot about the government - like you do. You'd fit right in.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    It's back! Last week of June I'm going back to Bailey to do nothing but drugs for 5 weeks straight.




    Did I mention that I love drugs? And summer? And doing drugs in summer?
    Don’t get mauled by a bear.

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    Let's see:

    I have my drugs
    My playlist
    Plenty of food and water
    My uber rich liberal friends

    And then comes a summons in the mail for jury duty. Motherfucker.

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    Well, I managed to get out of jury duty (told them I was mentally unstable and guess what, they believed me).

    Begins of what else? First day of summer.


    See you suckers on the other side

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    I finally got a jury duty notice last year, for the county court. Then I got a notice for the city court the same week. I used the county notice as an excuse to get out of the city jury duty. Then the ridiculous post-Covid procedure for the county jury was to dial a telephone number every night for a week or so, to see if my "number" was picked. My number was 30 something, and by the time they got to 20 they had their jurors. So it was like the equivalent of getting the high lottery number in the Vietnam war draft, or something.

    I wasn't really looking forward to being on a jury, but slightly pissed of that they wait this long to ask me, and then make me wait around all week for nothing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    Well, I managed to get out of jury duty (told them I was mentally unstable and guess what, they believed me).
    Uh, you are mentally unstable.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Von Halen View Post
    Uh, you are mentally unstable.
    You're too kind, Von.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FORD View Post
    I finally got a jury duty notice last year, for the county court. Then I got a notice for the city court the same week. I used the county notice as an excuse to get out of the city jury duty. Then the ridiculous post-Covid procedure for the county jury was to dial a telephone number every night for a week or so, to see if my "number" was picked. My number was 30 something, and by the time they got to 20 they had their jurors. So it was like the equivalent of getting the high lottery number in the Vietnam war draft, or something.

    I wasn't really looking forward to being on a jury, but slightly pissed of that they wait this long to ask me, and then make me wait around all week for nothing.
    Meh. I don't mind jury duty. Have been summoned several times. Never got to the point in the voir dire where I was even questioned because a panel had already been selected before it was my turn to be asked anything. I get if people need to be excused because of a legitimate reason. I just figure it's my civic duty.

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