This Fuckin' Kid

[POJO_Risin]

So Rikk reached out to me today...love that Dude...a brother from another mother...

So here we go...

What changed for Dave?

Prior to ten days or so ago, Dave seemed as calm and cool and collected on The Van Halen front as he ever has. He's talked about his relationship with Al post Ed's passing in as positive a light as he ever has. He's reminisced about VH the way the boys were doing prior to the 2012 release. There clearly was discussions with Dave about doing a tribute that included Al that disappeared, but...nothing seemed to be negative in an odd sense...especially for Van Halen.

Then fat fuckin' Bette Midler gets his money grubbing hot dog fingers dipping into the VH pool again with the "who gives a fuck" release of Van Hagar's bullshit (fine...whatever), and this S(h)am of a tour where he got alien rear-ended when Dave called him out for asking him to join the crew. It was hilarious and grand. Then Mikey meets up with Wolfy.

And of course...Wolfy...with his fucking bullshit gatekeeping.

So something changed for Dave.

Nine Days ago...Dave shredded that fat fuck Bette Midler in a Roth Show.

...and Dave's story...about Ed and Val's wedding night..."Eddie and I both hated her family. We both hated her brothers, her sisters, her parents..."

"Eddie and I knew the routine...now that I laugh, what a brotherly thing" talking about holding Ed while he was yakking after doing a bump so he wouldn't get shit on his tux...and Dave let go..."and we both started giggling...I don't want to fucking go out there."

Then the story about the VHS tape that Val saw...and she left him after six weeks...so this was...2001? The long and the short of THAT STORY? "Edward, my brother from another mother, I don't care who you fuck or how hard, and he laughed. Valerie, she wasn't laughing. In a declaration of some evangelical type 1930s fucking hate...she and her lawyers beat the shit out of that kid. She fucked him outta everything. And I'm going to tell you she left him flat...and penniless. The great Van Halen had to go borrow a million dollars and do the unimaginable...YES!...he had to call me...."

Eight Days ago...Dave discussed how Howdy Doody Ranch sucked the life outta Edward so much, that he had to escape on a golf cart to hit up the Sportsman's Lodge...for...well...you know...let your mind unwind "Eddie is wandering the halls like the Ghost of Hamlet's Dad." There seemed to be a lot of little stories not told, within the story...but it seemed to glean a not so kind story about the VH camp "they've taken away his car keys, he's livin' in his pajamas"...you can insert whatever names you want there...certainly slammed the shit out of Val...and skimmed across Al...and Wolfy...and led Ed to Jan.

"And guess who shows up...allegedly...but I just missed him by a day or two...my old friend Ed. We run in to each other now and then (!!!! Tell those fucking stories Dave), and I'm up there at the studio, my timelines are all backwards and forwards. I spend some time at The Sportsmen's Lodge. I didn't actually run into Ed, but it's a small community there. Having first discovered The Sportsmen's Lodge in his pajamas, the good way, Ed, in classic rock star fashion...remember the motto, "what is the perfect rock star solution for all emotional, drama, trauma, and pain?" Go on the road."

"...and you don't have to go far. In fact, the farthest Ed did go was down Coldwater about a mile and a quarter, to the Sportsman's Lodge, and he decides he's going to live there, and he does."

"He falls in with the porno crowd...granted Ed is in a state of emotional disarray, and he meets his future wife, in the swimming pool."

"I got myself in troube up at the studio...and my timelines are bouncing around...when I quoted Anthony Bourdain...the gourmet food critic's book...this should be the name of your porno craft services company..."A Bone in your Throat." I'll draw you the logo. Things went great and wrong with Jane and I instantly."

The long and the short of it...Janie straightens him out...new teeth...and he's going to write some music for it..."he needs a whole fuckin' porn shoot."

And of course...the "This Crazy Kid" post...he of course slams him hard. But what stood out to me was when Dave said, "...but as usual...he...just like his uncle and his uncle's brother...stiffed them for tickets." Now I suppose he could be talking about Val's brothers, who were sorta in the mix here and there...but don't think that's who he was talking about.

So Dave wasn't fearing throwing that slam out there involving Alex...and Ed.

So Dave wasn't fearling dropping an H-Bomb on the fake Mammoth.

So Dave brushed the dust off of mentioning Bette Midler by hilariously mentioning Bette's alien probing.

I wonder if something happened specific. Another falling out with Alex. Wolfgang doing something behind the scenes. Perhaps the S(h)am and the Sparrows are going to include in their reunion everyone BUT Dave, then find a way to blame Dave...which will now probably be these Roth Shows.

Meh...

Fuck it...

But that Roth timeline is fun. It seems as though he has jumbled a bunch of shit up...but the timeline around Ed's time there is fun, and when connected with Val leaving Ed...gets really fun. They separated in 2001...was that when Dave is referring to her leaving? He talks of the divorce? Was this in 2006-2007, when Dave and Ed had reconciled? Was he blending both things together? Was he making shit up.

Who the fuck knows...but Dave needs to keep fucking doing.

This fucking kid...

...isn't a toenail on the rock star that Dave was in 1974, let alone the fifty years since then. Go ahead and keep making an album in which everyone outside of the Van Halen camp pats you on the back for BECAUSE you're Ed's son...you privileged fuck. You're and eighth-rate Foo Fighters, and not even flaked skin of the greatest American Rock and Roll band of all time. We all get why you don't play Van Halen songs every night...

...you'd be exposed.

Sorry....this was about Dave...

Whatever happened DLR...I sure can't wait for you to spill it...

[Nitro Express]

Who the fuck wanted to see Dave share a stage with those gimps anyways? Seeing Captain Roth firing broadsides into Popsicle Wabo and Fat Fuck Wolf was glorious.

[Nitro Express]

Seeing all the faggy Sammy/Wolfie lovers shake their fists at Dave is great too. Lot’s of ruffled rage on YouBoob over it.

[Nitro Express]

Sam is upset Van Halen closed with Dave and not him. In Sam’s deluded mind he can recreate Van Halen and have it end with him. This is some crazy shit thinking. Dave knows he has the real legacy and it’s impossible to steal. He’s still getting his royalties. I heard Jump the other day playing in a store.

Sketchy Joe must have been offered a bunch of money from Sam because he is trying to unlock the Van Halen code of tone. Anyways fuck all those fucks. Just another clown show for the summer.

[Terry]

It's that long-established Van Halen 101 narrative...Dave was difficult to deal with...Ed was blameless in all of it...Sammy Hagar was a nice guy...Valerie was 'America's Sweetheart'...Wolfgang inherited Eddie's talent.

Sammy, Wolfgang and Valerie still publicly feed into that simplistic narrative. I mean, you'd think in general terms people would be smarter than to just buy into that public image of who Van Halen was as individual personalities. I have no doubt Ed, Al, Valerie and Wolfgang all were and are as capable of self-absorption, nastiness and whatever as much as anybody else is.

With Dave, maybe he IS making some of this stuff up or maybe he's just letting it rip because at this point why not?

[Nitro Express]

Steve Vai speaks highly of David Lee Roth. The whole Eat Em and Smile band does. John 5 does. I think Dave and Ed had personality clashes and maybe they got tired of each other. Substance abuse doesn’t help. Dave is a leader and you get two leaders and they will clash. You can’t have another Indian chief with Dave.

[Nitro Express]

Dave is letting it rip. Sam deserves it and Dave is like the fat kid ain’t so innocent. He can be a real asshole.

[Terry]

This whole biz re: trading barbs/trash talking post-2020...brings to mind the expression "it's all over but the shouting"...

For me, it was like, once Eddie died...what did it matter what anyone in the band had to say about how shitty they felt toward others who had been in the band? Wasn't 35 years of that more than enough?

I guess not, since Roth, Wolfgang and Hagar still feel compelled to keep that stuff going. Old habits die hard or whatever.

[Nitro Express]

The farts linger but Dave has the best smelling farts.

[Kristy]

So something changed for Dave.


Fuck it...


Whatever happened DLR...I sure can't wait for you to spill it...

I no longer listen to Dave's podcast because if I want to hear a sundowning grandpa whine about how it sucks to grow older I'll volunteer at an old folks home. When I did listen the only show I remember was Dave remorsing on Eddie's death and then making Eddie's death to be all about him. My feeling was Dave was comfortable in his own skin performing as long as he had Eddie in his back pocket and could control the brother's heavy weather of who was really running the show. This was evident when I saw them at the 2015 Red Rocks show. As I said before Dave was fucking terrible. His vocals were shot, highly irritating and at times unbearable to listen to. Many times during that show Dave was turning to Ed to save him from drowning in his own embarrassment and a lot of the enjoyment of that show fell squarely upon Ed's shoulders. Now with Ed gone and no matter what flashy guitar player Dave can afford to hire cannot save him like Ed did. Ed knew Roth was an embarrassment on that 2015 tour. Ed knew that he was in a nostalgia act and Ed knew this was a one-time deal - for the money.

Now it's all over and the "classic Van Halen" should stay that way (although I'm pissed right the fuck off there is no decent box set of those years released and nothing on the radar). Roth has enough money to live on comfortable for the rest of his miserable life. Could give a fuck less about Val, Bette, the F A T Wolf Boy or any legal fallout that may be remaining. Don't give a runny shit what Dave has to say anymore. His podcast to me is a cry for help.

[Nitro Express]

Dave is running up $93,000 pot dispensary bills saying and doing what the fuck he wants. He could care less what people think. What’s more rock and roll than that? He can throw whoever he wants under the bus because he’s too old to care.

[Las Lunas]

EVH borrowed a million from Diamond Dave when Val left him? And I’ve never got the sense Ed hated Vals family. Why did he have the brothers around all the time and build 5150. Maybe I have missed these revelations.

[Las Lunas]

One thing is for sure is Val is a total wacko. Her social media posts are unhinged and living with her even when she looked decent must have been a total nightmare.

[Nitro Express]

Val is nuttier than squirrel shit.

[ZahZoo]

With Dave, maybe he IS making some of this stuff up or maybe he's just letting it rip because at this point why not?

Dave's ability to tell a story in a colorful manner has not diminished over the years... he could spin a tale of a trip to the grocery store to pick up some bananas, milk and toilet paper then make it sound like an adventurous and danger filled expedition...

I suspect most the truth is in the mix... with a touch of embellishment added for flavor.

[Von Halen]

I suspect most the truth is in the mix... with a touch of embellishment added for flavor.

Yeah, I mean...come on. What company would be paying the crew with paper checks in 2015? I'm guessing none.

[nick500]

Yeah, I mean...come on. What company would be paying the crew with paper checks in 2015? I'm guessing none.

I think Dave must have gotten fed up with the constant pot shots Wolfgang has been taking at him lately.
Dave doesn't seem to attack in a mean way, more like a comedy skit.

Van Halen would have gone nowhere without him and Wolf would have been the bass player for who exactly?
That "is the Van Halen name a help or not " video with Wolf is really cringe worthy.
"you still have to prove yourself" or words to that effect that he said made him look pretty full of himself.
Well, duh, join the rest of the world,you always have to prove yourself worthy of a job dumbass.
For me he's a good player, but he's not his dad, or Allan Holdsworth or Steve Vai or any player on that level.
The more he talks and picks fights online, the more you go wtf?

[Vinnie Velvet]

So I was just at the Links and there are a few tidbits there from an insider.....

Apparently it seems like Wolf and Val keep making things difficult for Al in terms of releasing any archival music or video. They don't necessarily have final say - even Wolf - if say Alex and Dave want to release old shows or unreleased music. Al does.

But much like the soap opera surrounding the tribute show that never happened, if Wolf and Val don't like something they make sure to let Al know. Alex, not wanting to rock the boat with family members, likes to keep the peace therefore does nothing. Which in turn most likely frustrates Dave.

Wolf and Val want limited VH releases so as to not shadow Wolf's music and career. So then they let Al know as much. They are of the thinking that Ed was Van Halen and that with him gone, VH should be laid to rest.

Now Alex can simply say "fuck it" and sign contracts and have a bunch of VH stuff released but is reluctant so as to not make relations with Wolf strained.

In conclusion, a lot of the inactivity with tribute shows or no archival VH releases is because Wolf and Val are cunts and make things difficult for Al.

[Catfish]

Great post. Dave's old and is out of fucks to give. He's emptying the bag. It's tremendous! Please lord let him write another book!

[Kristy]

Wolf and Val want limited VH releases so as to not shadow Wolf's music and career. So then they let Al know as much. They are of the thinking that Ed was Van Halen and that with him gone, VH should be laid to rest.

That cannot be at all true. The F A T Wolf Boy has no musical marketing abilities - expect to brain dead Foo Fighters fans.

[conmee]

It's been awhile and I'm just here because it's the first thread I've accidentally clicked on in forever where I know most of the people posting... Pojo my brother, Von (bro, how did the Lions give that game away yesterday), Vinnie, ZahZoo, Nitro, Terry.

Look, I listened to the entirety of Van Halen III last night, and I'm here to say it's underappreciated. It's better than 3 out of 4 Sammy era albums, better than all of DLR's stuff post EEAS, and better than at least one of the six pack. Change my mind. Ok, not really, just channeling Hitch from the Great Beyond with an idea for an outrageous post.

Agree with Kristy (first sentence, second paragraph) and as Catfish suggests, would be great to get a no fucks given book from DLR. But I don't think I have any fucks left. I don't keep up with all this shit anymore, but it is a disappointment that even after death, the world of Van Halen is so fucked up and mired in craziness that a simple tribute can't be organized. Look how quickly and well-attended the Taylor Hawkins tribute was put together (and if I recall, Wolfie performed), yet nothing for the Edward? How does a drummer get a world class send off, but the world's greatest rock guitarist gets nothing more than some news clippings and a collection of bickering social media posts...

Also curious, Vinnie, regarding the insider comment about overshadowing Wolf. Is there really that much overlap between Van Halen fans and what Wolf is doing? I've listed to some of his music out of curiosity, and only because he's Edward's son, but it isn't something I would purchase or listen to regularly and have no interest in going to see him perform. I think that's probably the case for a lot of Van Halen fans, so not sure how classic Van Halen vault releases would impact Wolf's career.

[Vinnie Velvet]

Brother conmee.....long time my friend.

Anyway, I'm just reiterating what I read on the thread at Links.

But it does seem to me that Alex is trying to keep the peace with Wolf which also unfortunately includes his mom. And in order to do that if Wolf doesn't like or want stuff released then Al doesn't make a move. Whatever it is.

[ZahZoo]

Classic Van Halen vault releases would only help interest in MeatWolf's music... in a limited capacity, but it would bolster the main commodity helping his current musical career... name recognition. I can't imagine any angle that would hurt the Fuckin Kid's™ career.

[Vinnie Velvet]

Judging from Wolf's last interview basically saying his dad was a hindrance, I wouldn't be surprised if he really didn't want a lot of VH releases out there.

[Catfish]

It's been awhile and I'm just here because it's the first thread I've accidentally clicked on in forever where I know most of the people posting... Pojo my brother, Von (bro, how did the Lions give that game away yesterday), Vinnie, ZahZoo, Nitro, Terry.

Look, I listened to the entirety of Van Halen III last night, and I'm here to say it's underappreciated. It's better than 3 out of 4 Sammy era albums, better than all of DLR's stuff post EEAS, and better than at least one of the six pack. Change my mind. Ok, not really, just channeling Hitch from the Great Beyond with an idea for an outrageous post.

Agree with Kristy (first sentence, second paragraph) and as Catfish suggests, would be great to get a no fucks given book from DLR. But I don't think I have any fucks left. I don't keep up with all this shit anymore, but it is a disappointment that even after death, the world of Van Halen is so fucked up and mired in craziness that a simple tribute can't be organized. Look how quickly and well-attended the Taylor Hawkins tribute was put together (and if I recall, Wolfie performed), yet nothing for the Edward? How does a drummer get a world class send off, but the world's greatest rock guitarist gets nothing more than some news clippings and a collection of bickering social media posts...

Also curious, Vinnie, regarding the insider comment about overshadowing Wolf. Is there really that much overlap between Van Halen fans and what Wolf is doing? I've listed to some of his music out of curiosity, and only because he's Edward's son, but it isn't something I would purchase or listen to regularly and have no interest in going to see him perform. I think that's probably the case for a lot of Van Halen fans, so not sure how classic Van Halen vault releases would impact Wolf's career.

I find Wolf's music incredibly boring. All I can figure is that's what happens when you play all the instruments yourself (yet other artists have pulled it off and still sounded interesting). I've seen him live, too, and it's boring live even with other musicians. You need other musicians and flavors to spice up the soup. But he's so fucking spoiled he wants it all to himself. None of his songs stand out, I can't remember a one of them, except for the one he strategically released as a single to capitalize on his dad's passing. Only interesting thing about that was the video with the emotional stuff in it. If not for the video, no one cares about the song. The kid's a fuckin bore.

[Catfish]

Judging from Wolf's last interview basically saying his dad was a hindrance, I wouldn't be surprised if he really didn't want a lot of VH releases out there.

The argument about old VH stuff being released because it would take the shine off of Wolf is one thing, but I'd bet another reason why is because Wolf has been stealing dad's unused riffs for his own stuff. What a dick!

[Never was]

The fat fuck is delusional cunt like his mother. No one and I mean no one is listening or talking to him if his last name is Jones or whatever.

Dude needs a year in the real world and help getting his fat ass off the toilet which is the only throne he belongs on.

[Nitro Express]

Food for thought. How many of us would be able to play all the instruments if we had access to a studio full of them and no job? Wolf never had any kind of job. He never went to college. That’s a lot of free time to learn shit.

[Nickdfresh]

It's that long-established Van Halen 101 narrative...Dave was difficult to deal with...Ed was blameless in all of it...Sammy Hagar was a nice guy...Valerie was 'America's Sweetheart'...Wolfgang inherited Eddie's talent.

Sammy, Wolfgang and Valerie still publicly feed into that simplistic narrative. I mean, you'd think in general terms people would be smarter than to just buy into that public image of who Van Halen was as individual personalities. I have no doubt Ed, Al, Valerie and Wolfgang all were and are as capable of self-absorption, nastiness and whatever as much as anybody else is.

With Dave, maybe he IS making some of this stuff up or maybe he's just letting it rip because at this point why not?

I recall Noel Monk said Eddie was the only member of the band he genuinely liked on a personal level and that he could be "very sweet". I think he also noted that by the 1984 5150 Studio sessions Ed was swimming in a sea of alcohol in a cocaine cyclone and he was a raging cock at times when drunk...

[Nitro Express]

Wolf wipes his ass with the VH legacy and Sam smells the toilet paper. Nobody wants the VH legacy more than Sam.

[Catfish]

Food for thought. How many of us would be able to play all the instruments if we had access to a studio full of them and no job? Wolf never had any kind of job. He never went to college. That’s a lot of free time to learn shit.

Did he even go to high school? Took classes from the road when he was handed one of the best gigs in rock?

[Nitro Express]

Wolf went to The Oakwood School which is a private school that focuses on the arts. Frank Zappa’s kids went there. No college. His dad pulled him out of school to go on the road where he had a private tutor. Valerie’s brother Patrick manages Wolf. I mean it’s quite pathetic to be an adult in your 30’s and be reffered to as the kid and have your mom call herself Wolfie’s Mom on social media. The guy acts like a kid so he is treated as such.

[Seshmeister]

As I posted elsewhere, at his age Ed's best days were already behind him and he was playing on the shitty 2nd Van Hagar album.

[Von Halen]

I've seen him live

You saw him live? You are part of the problem. He opened for Alter Bridge here. I made sure I arrived after that fat fuck played. He should be playing to empty venues. Then these bands making him even more of a charity case, wouldn’t put this entitled prick on their tours. NOBODY hates Van Halen fan more than fat boy does. Anybody that doesn’t believe this fat fucker is blocking any releases of anything VH, has their head in the sand. He knows and hates the fact that a shitty quality VH bootleg release, whether it’s 4 minutes or 90 minutes in length, garners more attention and publicity than his garbage could ever muster.

Right Now (pun intended) he has no choice but to suck up to Mike and Clichegar. Because he can’t stop what they are doing. Even though it has to be killing him that even a Van Hagar tribute band is more appealing and is selling more tickets than his shitty shows.

[Terry]

As I posted elsewhere, at his age Ed's best days were already behind him and he was playing on the shitty 2nd Van Hagar album.

If Ed had packed it in after Roth left the band in 1985, or if the band with Sammy in it had (as they should have) called themselves something other than Van Halen, Van Halen's legendary status would have been virtually the same for me as it ended up being with the way things actually turned out.

To my ears, comparatively little of what Ed came up with post-1985 was of as much interest - even strictly just in terms of the guitar playing - as what he was doing circa 1978 to 1984 was. Some decent ideas here and there from Ed after Dave left, but fewer and far in between a lot of stuff that came across to me as Eddie sort of being largely on autopilot as a player after hooking up with Hagar.

[MasonL]

If you're supposedly a grown man and still accepting being called "Wolfie," that tells us everything we need to know. Infantilism. No clue about really making the commitment to be an artist. No clue whatsoever.

[MasonL]

I remember seeing that music video Fat Boy released like a month after his dad was put in the ground and initially thinking, "oh that's kind of nice." But quickly I began to be kinda disturbed at how morbid the whole thing was. Basically jumpstarting your career off of your father's death. Sam didn't even wait 20 minutes to tweet about it and act Holier Than Thou, despite trashing him the previous 10 years. The whole "tribute" business was the same thing. Using the death of a bandmate as a springboard. How many times does Foo Fighters need to be in the spotlight for us to get that you're so heartbroken about Hawkins' death?

Dave stayed silent save for a couple photographs and his Over the Rainbow song. Just stayed respectful without blowing smoke and making it about him. And yet he still got attacked by Fat Asses who know nothing about bootstrapping the band alongside Eddie. I think he just got tired of it. No matter what he says, he is very tied into the public noise around Van Halen. As he said, he was always the protector of the band.

[Vinnie Velvet]

Another thing the Links insider said was that Dave and the Van Halens were never friends but that they were family. Family members only get involved if there are serious struggles such as health or something financial.

And Dave apparently stepped up for Ed on both of those issues he had. After his divorce from Val and when his cancer first came about. Dave had some cancer specialists he knew in the NY area that he put forward to Ed.
A strange relationship yes but one we can all recognize when it comes to family.

[Nitro Express]

Van Halen devolved into a faggy pajama party with Sammy Hagar. It really was quite horrifying.

[Nitro Express]

Ed subconsciously wrote a song about his son. It’s called Donut City. Anyways Wolf and Sam are having a contest on who can be the lamest fucktard.