On Track…Van Halen by Morgan Brown (2023 book)

[Catfish]

wtaf!!??

Robert Palmer (RIP, should be in the RRHOF too) was far more talented than Hagar. He could write better tunes and he came up with the Power Station sound.

To finish the degrees of separation, Hagar blatantly ripped off Robert Palmer's 'Bad Case of Loving You' in his putrid Drive 55 song. How he got away with that is beyond me.

[Rikk]

Seriously, Sammy Hagar is a dirty, rotten son of a bitch for wasting real human resources singing steaming goat shit like this:

Well, I've always tripped on commercials, yeah, yeah

We can tell, you fucking cunt. Your lyrics have the imagination and literary depth of a commercial for Cheap Plumbing.

I've seen Olive Garden commercials more fascinating than anything you've ever had to say about anything.

Tell me, who ya gonna call

I wish Ray Parker Jr. had sued his fat, tequila-peddling ass. Dave borrows from Chicago bluesmen, Louis Prima and Al Jolson. Sam steals from fucking Ghostbusters.

You got to have it quick (got to have it quick)

I thought you don't want women to be too quick? Didn't you want them to take their time and fucking "finish what they started" or whatever?

Well, just a-hang your love line in her direction, whoa

Whoa, indeed.

Call her up on the spank line, uh

I bet sheep actually text each other stupid shit like, "Hey, man...call me up on the spank line...LOL." The pinnacle of Ched-head wit is quoting song lyrics from "legendary" songs in their own sad cult like SOURCE OF ERECTION.

Three dollars, first minute, gosh, man, after that, cost ya four

He apparently KNOWS this. There was no Google in 1991. He must have known from experience. I bet he even would say, "This is Sammy Hagar from Van Halen. Don't you like me better than Dave? Anyway, get me hard."

Yeah, it's a spank line, ha, ha, ha, ha, woo

There's nothing more disgusting than an aging guy with greasy blonde hair & taco-breath talking to YOU while he's getting horny.

1-900-spanked you bad, bad, bad, boys

Hagar was a boxer in the 60s, right? Too bad he couldn't have gone the way of Kim Duk-koo or Patrick Day before he had a chance to begin his "music career."

[Rikk]

Robert Palmer (RIP, should be in the RRHOF too) was far more talented than Hagar. He could write better tunes and he came up with the Power Station sound.

Actually, I like his 70s stuff. It sounds like Little Feat (another good band that Van Hagar decimated with a cover version).

[Seshmeister]

Robert Palmer (RIP, should be in the RRHOF too) was far more talented than Hagar. He could write better tunes and he came up with the Power Station sound.

On a vaguely related note I don't know if everyone else knew this already but I learned last week that little Andy Taylor has stage IV cancer which is a shame.

[twonabomber]

Andy Taylor didn't go to Duran Duran's Rock Hall induction because of his cancer. Simon LeBon read a letter from Taylor as part of their speech.

[Rikk]

I thought I heard that Taylor is in a form of remission and the doctors gave him a few more years? I could be remembering wrong...