Wow, amazing. There is truly nothing new under the sun.
When I quit as a mod at the links several months ago, it took me all of about two weeks to realize a few things. Most importantly, that these boards sucked up a ton of time and energy that could be better spent elsewhere. I was pretty relieved to find that I didn’t miss them at all when I thought about it. After a couple of months, I decided to post a little bit of guitar-related stuff at a couple boards, and then something actually happened in the world of VH and I checked the boards out to keep up with tour announcements, etc. Every couple of weeks I would hear from a handful of people that insisted I was missed on the boards and asked me to please post. I don’t know who these people were that “missed” me, since I never heard from any of them – and frankly, it doesn’t matter to me anyway. Whereas I used to spend far too much time on the boards, when I tried to post , I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. I had absolutely no desire to take part in something that should be a fun diversion but only turned into stupid, childish bickering that was pointless.
A few weeks ago, Fab told me that she had made some good friends here and that I should register. At the same time, MAX asked me to please come over and register, insisting that I would have fun and that everything would be fine. Fab’s one suggestion to me was that I register under another name, because she was worried that if some people saw our names together somewhere, one or both of us would get harassed or baited into pointless bullshit. Unfortunately, she was apparently right. Within one day of my registering here, a well-known worthless no-life idiot troll posted a tasteless photoshopped picture of Fab. Whether it was meant to rile me or irritate her doesn’t matter. What does matter is that it was a waste of time not worthy of attention. It was posted that it would not be tolerated here, but it did happen again since then. It was just an affirmation to me that there are too many simple-minded, bored morons hiding behind computers that will go to any extreme that they can to harass people, simply because they can. No worries about retribution or accountability, no fear of impact on their life – no matter how rude and personal they get. They can be as foul-mouthed and insulting as they want to be. Yeah, they have a right to do so by hiding behind an amendment, but that doesn’t make it right or admirable. They can make pariahs and targets out of people they choose, and relentlessly target and bait them. It’s a stupid, immature, cheap thrill that I can’t believe that (supposed) adults actually enjoy. Fab has always been a great example of this, because a lot of people know that if she is baited enough or treated rudely enough, the fighter in her wants to come out. They know she’s an easy mark, and then completely blame her, ostracize her, and label her the troublemaker. The whole web board deal reminds me of High School in-crowds – just stupid, childish. Selfish behavior. What’s even more inane is when Fab finally does get upset, people throw a how-dare-you attitude at her. It’s been different “principles” at different boards, but here it’s because if you’ve ever so much listened to a Hagar song in your life, you get ridiculed to death. I know this is a pro-Roth board, but it’s just stupid at what length people will go to get that point across – dredging up posts, emails, and PM’s from the past is not just pathetic, it’s an ugly obsession. What exactly is the point of any of this? What does anybody gain in real life from it? These are goddamned internet message boards about bands and musicians! Why do people try so hard to slander and belittle other people over things that don’t affect real life?
Staunchly defending and criticizing celebrities that most of us will never meet and couldn’t give a rat’s ass about us is inane. More importantly, when it comes down to verbally abusing individuals and getting extremely personal with them, it’s ludicrous. Telling people to go kill themselves, for crying out loud. You can ridicule and point at Fab’s supposed threats all you want, but I can tell you she’s gotten more than her share as well. Some from people that I’m ashamed to say were “friends” of mine at one time, and many that were entirely unprovoked and uncalled for.
I stomached a lot of ridiculous bullshit at the links because over Fab, and that’s why I left. When I was already a mod and Fab and I got together, it was agreed that fellow mods need not walk on eggshells around her because of me. What was NOT agreed on was that it was a license to verbally abuse her and call her untasteful names, nor single her out when it should have been quite obvious to anyone with a brain and a shred of tact or levity that she wasn’t the instigator. No matter how many times I tried to get the point across that treating my girlfriend like that was unacceptable from people who said they respected me and considered me a friend, it continued repeatedly. And now many of them feel the need to carry it over to other boards.
It’s amazing how things get twisted and snowball, and then get used for ammo repeatedly any time Fab has a disagreement with anyone on a stupid message board. So pointless, yet people don’t realize OR care what that does to a person’s self-esteem or mental health.
I’m not lowering myself to discussing the this crap thrown at Fab another single time. What I will say is that although some of the things said may be true, there are a hell of a lot of lies, exaggerations, and twisted stories that have been stated here as well. Before anybody chooses to get on their high debate horses with me, there is nobody on these boards that knows Fab or the truth about her better than me. Nobody can even come close to challenging me on that. Those of you that think your web buddies wouldn’t lie to you are in for a harsh reality check at some point. Trust me, I had people from the web that I thought were honest, loyal, and true with me turn out to be the biggest liars and backstabbers I had ever known.
Which brings me back to what I was saying about learning things during my “retirement” from the VH boards. You can take them for what they’re worth, but I think we can all benefit from giving them consideration:
- Liars and schemers are everywhere on the web. Don’t fully trust anyone from these boards unless you meet them in person and they prove themselves worthy of trust over a reasonable period of time. Even then, be prepared for them to turn on you in a heartbeat for the stupidest reasons, including loyalty to a board that doesn’t earn them money, put food on their table, pay their bills or anything else crucial to life.
- People that claim to be your “friends” are not necessarily such. I met people from the boards that I thought were friends only to find out they were snakes in the grass later. I have had people repeatedly insist they were friends that respected me and smoothed things over with me after any problems – only to repeatedly create them again. Most likely because they made the stupid assumption that because it was all on the internet, I would continue to forgive or forget each time. Fuck that noise.
- What you say or do to people on the boards can actually have a serious effect on their real lives. If you don’t care, then you deserve to have it come back to you sevenfold. If you think it’s funny, all I can say is God help you. There is no telling when you are going to have your jollies berating and belittling someone that will truly snap. Fab’s threats (the ones that have actually been accurately portrayed) were made to simply get people off her back when they didn’t give enough of a shit to get off her back to begin with. The rest of them are outright lies and exaggerations to try and paint more negative light on her. She is not the type of person to actually do something to another human being, but the fact is that there ARE people out there that will take it to an extreme if they are pushed far enough. I hope none of that ever happens to members of these boards, I really don’t. Even people that I despise and have zero respect for – I hope their macho, idiotic rantings and jabs at other people don’t get them stalked or thrown in the hospital or an early grave.
- Far too many people think the freedom to be brash and rude while anonymous on the web fool themselves into thinking they are truly powerful. Anybody who thinks their popularity on a board or their ability to debate pointless topics to death gives them power is a sad fool. I would hope that most adults set the bar higher for themselves in life. Personally, I think that the amount of time people spend on the web boards and how seriously they take their status on them is a very telling sign of their lack of importance or purpose in real life.
- Feeling strongly enough about your views to engage in debate is harmless fun until it becomes personal. When photoshopped pictures enter the scenario and personal information is aired publically - it’s over the line, period. Even apart from those things, there should be a pint where people realize they look like obsessed idiots when they should just drop an issue. Alienating and targeting someone because they don’t agree with a choice of a singer is so, so fucking sad. Celebrities call those people stalkers, and I think people on these boards fool themselves into thinking they would be admired by their idols for sticking up for them rabidly – when the truth is more likely that those celebrities would tell them to fuck off and stay as far away from them as possible.
Just to clarify a few things I’ve seen spouted as fact in a few posts here lately :
I never “saw Fab for what she is and dumped her”. Whoever came up with that brilliant attempt of a lie is an idiot that doesn’t know fact from a fart. It’s not anybody’s fucking business to begin with, and it’s an outright lie. Nice try. Conversely, I DID see Fab for what she is in real life, and have stuck with her. I fucking will not apologize for caring about my girlfriend to a bunch of people on the internet that don’t know each other in real life like we do. I also don’t blame any person in particular for solely causing her trouble on any boards – that’s an assumption made based on idle chatter. But I have lost any respect I ever had for several people that repeatedly and unapologetically taken every chance they could get to attack her and try to egg her on and get her goat – and for refusing to accept their responsibility in any of it and pin it all on her.
I’m not going to name names about anything I’ve written about and I’m not going to discuss it any more either. I’m not going to read and reply to posts about this. E-mails and PM’s will go straight to trash without being read. I spoke into deaf ears for too long to care to get into that again. It’s shit like this that ruined the boards for me at the links, and it ruined it for me here before I ever got started.
Go ahead - debate me, talk smack to me, deny it all. You're talking to the wind.
Reply With Quote
EAT US AND SMILE!!!!
