The Sheep Pen

[Dan]

Smell It Too.

[Dan]

Pants Off Even.

[Dan]

Sheep Pen Group Hug Coming Up Very Soon.

[Steve Savicki]

I get...

[Rikk]

20,000 Posts

THIS is the 20,000th post.

20,000 posts.

Thanks to MAX for helping me get this approved back in '04. Thanks to all for

stickying it back in the day.

Remember when it was its own forum? Great days, even if MEZRO was covering his

own ass when it was actually a proposed banning.

But really, nothing was like the original thread. It's where most of the drama

happened...think about how many nights it would take to go through this whole

single thread and see the history. SHEEP OF THE WEEK (times whatever), GUWAPO's

betrayal, LOU being an Admin, me leaving and coming back and leaving and coming

back and leaving, multiple break-ups and reunions.

And through it all, there was BOB...a guy I'm proud to call my friend.



We won...like this guy:





Well, sheep have been sheared...I've lived in hiding (well, not really) and BOB

has ran with the torch along with a great bunch of Rothtards. Pretty fucking

proud. You guys rock.

Even though there's a new crew with some of the old, I'd like portions of one of

my favorite posts to be quoted here. This is my Dossier on SHEEP PEN ADMINS. I

wish these could be published, because they're still fucking funny (I laughed out

loud and almost spit out my Scotch reading this shit...who wrote it? Oh yeah,

some guy who had a lot of time on his hands back in the day!):

RIKK
RIKK is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. His friendliness

knows no bounds. His caring and brush-off nature is legendary in these parts.

Well-respected and highly-intellectual poster VH LINKS SUCKS once called him:

"Maybe the nicest person I've ever come across on the internet and my best friend

in real life. I can't believe how well we've always gotten along. He is so great,

it just makes me so happy thinking about how good we've been for each other. Just

a fantastic human being that I can't envision anyone having a problem with." RIKK

currently resides in Iwo Jima and enjoys Sugar-Free Rice Krispie Treats. He is

Head Priest of the Church of ALAN THE PANTHER, the greatest of all the panthers.

He is also a DUMP MEISTER and a solid believer in the school of GRIMSDALE, SIR

FLAPPO, REV, GOLDEN AWE, FIGS, CATO, MR. BADGUY and the other DMs. He was also

recently promoted to Moderator, and now Mods the SHEEP PEN forum with glee and

ever-inflated ego. Of course, RIKK has been criticized in recent times for not

spending as much time at the Army (and in the Pen) as he used to. In fact, there

have been rumblings of a mutiny to overthrow him. "Fuck them," he smiles. "Truth

is, there is no power to overthrow." But what happened, RIKK? Why are you so

scarce these days? "Because the Pen seems to run itself quite well. I still come

in and do the rounds and mod shit and move shit and do nasty edits where I

shouldn't." Shouldn't you quit? "I would, y'know...but that would make BOB too

happy. And I hate him so goddamn much!"


MATT WHITE
MATT WHITE is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. He began

swimming when he was seventeen and is currently a world class swimmer and athlete.

He is also the inventer of the two-second handjob and has killed four people with

a hammer. His other PEN members praise him...BILL LUMBERGH: "When I think of MATT

WHITE, I think of how much one person can hate another sorry sack of shit. Fuck

him and his argumentative bullshit." BUENO BOB: "MATT is so fucking argumentative

that it makes me so angry. I get so mad I want to hit him with a pool cue until

he's dead and then hit him some more. I need fruit roll-ups and my dick is itchy.

Larg!!" MATT currently resides on SHANNON DOHERTY's front lawn and is hoping to

"tell her off" for quitting SCARE TACTICS when she was at her career peak. He is

the coiner of the phrase: "Bring me the head of STEPHEN BALDWIN." He also digs the

early years of the Osmonds and is looking to purchase a used copy of their box

set. He was also recently added to the Moderator staff, where he oversees the This

Is Gear Street forum with DON COREONE.


BILL LUMBERGH
BILL LUMBERGH is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. He is

unique among the SHEEP PEN Administration Staff in that he is the only open

homosexual. BILL: "I love being gay. I feel so strong being with another man that

it inspires me to go out and buy bagels. I love water sports. It makes me feel

like I'm inside another man." BILL began collecting GEORGE MICHAEL memorabilia in

the mid-80s and followed GEORGE's early concert career from arena to arena as a

Whamhead. BUENO BOB: "I hate BILL LUMBERGH. There are sorry sons of bitches, and

then there's BILL. When he tries to convince me that GEORGE MICHAEL has even half

the talent BOY GEORGE has, I want to vomit up the secretions of the three wives I

ate out last night." BILL currently resides in Dover, Delaware and is looking for

work for the next three months until MICHAEL-ATHON 2005 this summer, after which

he expects to spend the Fall in jail for jumping on George during his Q&A session

at the Delaware convention. His greatest trait is that he never goes on breaks

from the Army. He's always around...24 hours a day, 7 days a week...in stereo.

"I'm always here," BILL says, "because my children aren't as important to me as

the site. I have my priorities set right...I post here instead of looking after my

kids." Well done, BILL!

NICK D FRESH
NICK D FRESH is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. He is a

trouble-making buffoon that only joined the SHEEP PEN because RIKK was intending

to PM the well-respected poster DIAMOND DEN to offer him the gig but he sent the

PM to NICK instead. NICK is not very intelligent and he didn't understand why the

PM was addressed to DIAMOND D. He assumed that the "DIAMOND D" greeting was RIKK's

playful way of substituting the word "DIAMOND" for "NICK", which people would only

do if discussing the jewel-like qualities of the speedcore music of NICK CARTER.

NICK repsonded enthusiastically with the following PM to RIKK: "Fuck yes! I have

nothing else in my life to look forward to. It's so empty and black. In fact, I

was about to kill myself until you offered me this job, RIKK." RIKK took pity on

the pool fool and gave him the job, though what he does around here, we don't

know. His dick is shrinking and he has more friends than Ted Bundy did just

moments before his execution. NICK currently resides in Peking and eats two

gerbils a day. He's an aerobics trainer every other week. He also is in love with

ALBERT, the sort-of mascot of the Rotharmy. They plan to have kids one day, unlike

BILL LUMBERGH.

BUENO BOB
BUENO BOB is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. GARY COLEMAN

once said of him: "Dat mudda is fat! So fukkin' fat!!" ALAN THICKE agrees: "The

Army is a great place. But BUENO BOB is the greatest thing about it. Without him,

the place would be shit." "I consider myself a sexual man," BOB says. "My sexual

prowess knows no bounds. I wake up in the morning and play with my lightsaber.

Then, while I'm showering (every four mornings), I close my eyes, use the 'force',

and play with my lightsaber again. I like watching recent films with cinema greats

like KIRK CAMERON or TRACEY GOLD, and then I begin to play with my lightsaber. It

goes on for hours...the perfect circle. Who's scruffy looking? Not this piece of

Sith. You know what? Fuck you!" ALAN THE PANTHER once said of BUENO BOB: "Larg! I

hate BUENO BOB. There are sorry sons of bitches, and then there's BOB." BOB has

many hates in his life. One is STAR WARS and the other is sheep. But he joined the

SHEEP PEN because he thought we like to make fun of real farm sheep...you know,

the kind with real wool and everything. BOB's IQ was last reported at 68. He

currently resides in JAKE'S DINER out on ROUTE 64 by GRAHAM'S WORMS AND AMMO. BOB

is a Dark Lord of the Sith and the apprentice of the Emperor, the egotistical

"tit" RIKK.

POOP BOY
TJVHOU812 is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. Known to his

friends and many lovers as POOP BOY, he joined the Army in the summer and was

actually a SHEEP OF THE WEEK. His incessant love of all things SAMMY HAGAR, plus

his knows-no-bounds stupidity made him a quick target of RIKK and his friends'

"pick-on-the-smaller-person" level of fighting. RIKK: "I like to pick on people I

can beat because that's the kind of integrity I possess. I also like kicking

people when they're down. That's really what the Pen is all about...beating the

stupid because they can't really fight back." For some reason, the PEN gang

realized that POOP BOY was really one of them, and (demonstrating their insanity)

they decided to have him join the Administration Staff. NICK: "POOP BOY joining

the Pen was probably the greatest day of my life." DLR7884: "When I joined the

Pen, POOP BOY was there to greet me with open arms. It was so fucking gay and

annoying that I hit him until he bled and was crying. Then I hit him again and

again until he stopped making any noise. And then I hit him some more. I hate

him." POOP BOY says of his Pen status: "Being in the PEN is the greatest thing

that's ever happened to me. It is so great that sometimes at night, I just can't

believe my luck. My life is complete, and it's all because of the SHEEP PEN.

Wow...I am just so happy, I can tell you. Gosh." POOP BOY currently resides in

Nashville and is working on his second album, I Think I'll Get Drunk and Then Go

Home and Hit Her.

DLR7884
DLR7884 is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. He is also the

picture of non-judgmental, calm and loving behavior. "I am at one with the world.

My karma is with the Lord, and I cannot accept that there is not good in every

single soul I come across. I like to look for the good in everybody. If someone

insults me, I say, 'Hey, let's work this out, brother. I love you like I love all

my brothers around the world.'" Ever since joining the Pen, he has had major

issues with the way Pen staff get involved in fights at every step of the way. He

wants RIKK to know that fighting is not the way to solve the ARMY's problems.

DLR7884: "I can't believe how much fighting goes on. And I want no part of it. I'm

here to help people." DLR7884 resides in Detroit where he leads an idyllic country

life. He also (until recently) was the mentor of SAMMY'S BITCH (who is now DAVE'S

BITCH). But the cunt talked back to him and he's done with her. "She will pay," he

promises, clenching his fists and thinking of the young 15-year-old girl.

These were great times. Wish I'd been around for more.

Been a strange life the past few years. Got married. Had a major physical

fuck-up (stroke) in my hand (strange, considering I'm so young and handsome) which

has since 90% healed, moved to a great city, more shit that's too personal to type

here. But good shit. Been a happy life.

But I can see we all sweated blood and piss into this SHEEP PEN, its concept and

its defense of all things Diamond Dave. I can't be more excited for a music album

than I am for the new Van Halen with Dave CD. Maybe we are winners?




And maybe through all this, even though I haven't been in the picture for a while,

it's been great passing the baton to BOB. I feel like Dave passing the baton to

Robert Plant instead of the guy that made VOA...

Long live the SHEEP PEN!

[Steve Savicki]

Just messin' around; nothin' serious.
Anyways, hope all's goin' well for you.

[chefcraig]

Shamelessly altered the space/time continuum there for ya Rikk. Sincere congrats and thanks.
Oddly enough, I actually hoped for this to come true at post #19982.

[bueno bob]

And RIKK RETURNS!

I think the ENTIRE Sheep Pen, and really...more so than that, a LOT of the new blood around this place owes a TREMENDOUS debt of gratitude and a lot of thanks to Rikk. It was said of him a while back that he opened doors for a lot of the new folks around here (myself included), and because of him, we have this great, funny, stupid thread to play around with...something I'm proud to say is one of the SINGLE GREATEST THREADS in the entire history of Van Halen forums.

If not THE greatest.

No simple feat to accomplish, and the fact that it still survives today speaks for itself. Fuck the naysayers who said it couldn't be done...we FUCKING DID IT.

I am absolutely proud of each and every single person that contributed to this thread's success. My hat's off to you all.

[VanHalener]

Waitress!!!

Haggis!

Haggis for everyone!

[Dan]

Sweet As Job By Everyone In The Sheep Pen.Great Fucking Crew,Love You All In A Non-Gay Way.Great To See Rikk Get The 20,000th Post.Roth On.

[Dan]

Now Onto The 100,000th Post.

[Diamondjimi]

2o,0o0 fucking post's.... Cuntgradulations!!!

[Candy Girl]

Awesome guys! Great to be a part of history in Roth Army lore.

[PETE'S BROTHER]

the 501 blues.....

[binnie]

20,000 posts, 501 pages, but perhaps most staggeringly of all 302,000 views!!!!!!!!!