This just in from AP News:
At the recent Van Hagar concert in New York City, lead guitarist Eddie Van Halen passed out while ATTEMPTING to play the song Unchained due to a combination of extreme confusion and excessive alcohol consumption. While Eddie was hauled off backstage on the backs of several sheep that were in attendance, lead singer Sammy Hagar tried to keep the audience entertained by playing Duran Duran songs but the audience quickly filtered out. Backstage EVH stopped breathing so an ambulance was called. An EMT named David Lee Roth came in. After deciding mouth to mouth resuscitation would not be appropriate, Roth whacked Van Halen in the chest a couple times and Ed came back to life. Van Halen tried to thank Roth for saving his life but before he could Roth yelled "Ed, you stupid fuck, this ain't the first time I saved your worthless ass, and it won't be the last." While Van Halen immediately started looking for cigarettes and beer, Roth got on stage and the fans quickly filtered back in. While Hagar stared in awe at Roth's stage charisma, Roth announced to the crowd "I will be back". Roth then selected the three most beautiful beauties from the crowd and proceeded to perform his "Dr. Love" routine in the back the ambulance. Hagar went across the street to McDonalds to buy some cheeseburgers. Bassist Michael Anthony went to find Ed to get instructions on what he should do. Drummer Alex Van Halen tortured his inebriated brother by hiding the beer and cigarettes for the rest of the night. At the same time, Alex attended the legal proceedings for his 18th divorce via videoconference.
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