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Thread: The Asshole Pen

  1. #1
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    The Asshole Pen

    Just so you know, this thread is a direct rip-off of The Sheep Pen in the Main DLR/VH forum. But I'm altering it slightly to suit my purpose.

    Any site of this magnitude is bound to attract more than its fair share of Assholes....those individuals whose personalities are defined by anger, hatefulness, spite and sometimes just plain old-fashioned stupidity. They follow people from thread to thread, insulting them and calling them names that have no basis in reality. They ruin thread after thread with their vile and heinous comments. They turn intelligent conversations into ranting, incoherent flame wars. If no corrective measures are taken, these heartless bastards will chase away all the decent people and take over the site.

    The prime example of "Asshole" would be none other than our very own, much banned, Joe Thunder aka JT aka LP. If you've done much reading here at all, you know exactly who I'm talking about and understand completely. If you're unfamiliar with this jerk, just do a search on here for his previous posts and you'll quickly get an idea of what I mean. I believe he's currently banned (again), so he does not qualify for inclusion here, but other shining examples of assholedness still abound.

    To be included here, said Asshole must be a current, active member of this site. They must have proven their assholishness over a period of time, and there must be sufficient evidence to this effect. Feel free to quote them extensively in order to prove your point. Now, I'm not talking about the unintentional sticking-your-foot-in-your-mouth kind of comments we all make on occasion. I'm talking about repeat offenders here. Oh, and by the way, I know what you're thinking but females are exempt from inclusion into the Asshole Pen. You wanna do that, you'll have to start a Cunt Pen or something. My pen, my rules, too bad :p

    The purpose of this thread is so that we have a place to corral these losers and parade them around for the enjoyment of all.

    So feel free to share YOUR Asshole with the rest of us. Tell us his story. Explain what this Asshole has done to you, or others. Let us all join in the public flogging.

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  2. #2
    guwapo_rocker
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    Re: The Asshole Pen

    Originally posted by SoCalChelle
    So feel free to share YOUR Asshole with the rest of us.
    Classic!!!!
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  3. #3
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    Yeah, I cracked myself up writing that one.

  4. #4
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    Originally posted by Elvis
    This thread is gay
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  5. #5
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    Pete, are you nominating Elvis?

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    Frankly, why not just call this thread WTF....Let's have a Joe Thunder Thread

    Assholes come in many shapes, sizes, and colors. Joe should know, it's his living.

    Joe studies assholes, lives and breathes them, and wants to be their King.

    Remember, when you thnk of assholes, the name to know is Joe Thunder
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  7. #7
    Crazy Ass Mofo

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    He's not an asshole!!!

    He needs to renew his prescription.

    Viva Las Drujas!!!!

  8. #8
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    I think John Holmes is also MORE than qualified for induction here, but I'll let LMS nominate him. After all, he is her Asshole.

  9. #9
    Lou
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    What's wrong with John Holmes? He's an insightful DLR-fan.

  10. #10
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    Check out the Wolfie thread.
    Last edited by SoCalChelle; 09-02-2004 at 07:26 PM.

  11. #11
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    Originally posted by SoCalChelle
    Check out the Wolfie thread.
    which one? He's been making them like crazy lately
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  12. #12
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    What is an asshole pen ? Is it a new invention that takes the sole purpose of the humble Bic away , and classes a perfectly functional and useful writing implement into a source of sexual arousement ?

    And , is a asshole thread the designed means of extracting the asshole pen when it is in the position of arousement , therefore being able to be used in the future if one needs to regain that pleasure , prey tell ?

    I am sure that Mr Bic is spinning in his washing machine as we speak .
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  13. #13
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    I'm shocked and appalled that I'm not even mentioned once after 11 replies. What the fuck kind of stupid hen brain thread is this anyways?

    I nominate Chelle as the first asshole for even starting this thread. I've got plenty of asshole comments from her that are easily referenceable over the years.

    fuckin asshole.
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  14. #14
    Gimme head till I'm dead
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    HA!
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  15. #15
    11/13/07
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    Did Holmes just IM me? I have this guy who keeps askign me if i speak Italian and then asking me to suck his cock over and over. Then he told me, "fuck Americans". He seems to know me, too.

    As Elvis would say, hmmmmm

  16. #16
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    I'd like to be the first to nominate myself, here's why and a little ditty about me.


    Folks
    I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream
    About me,
    About you,
    About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottoms of our chests,
    About that special feelting we get in the cockles of our hearts
    Or maybe below the cockles,
    Maybe in the sub cockle area,
    Maybe in the liver,
    Maybe in the kidneys,
    Maybe even in the colon,
    We don't know

    I'm just a regular joe,
    With a regular job.
    I'm your average white,
    Suburbanite slob.
    I like football, and porno, and books about war.
    I've got an average house,
    With a nice hardwood floor.
    My wife, and my job, my kids, and my car,
    My feet on the table,
    With a Cuban cigar.
    But sometimes that just ain't enough,
    To keep a man like me interested,
    Oh no, no way, uh uhh.
    No I gotta go out and have fun,
    At someone elses expense,
    Oh yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah,

    I drive really slow,
    In the ultra fast lane,
    while people, behind me, are going insane.

    I'm an asshole
    (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
    I'm an asshole
    (he's an asshole, such an asshole)

    I use public toilets,
    And I piss on the seat,
    I walk around in the summer time,
    Sayin' "How about this heat?"

    I'm an asshole
    (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
    I'm an asshole
    (he's the worlds biggest asshole)

    Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces,
    While handicapped People, make handicapped faces,

    I'm an asshole
    (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
    I'm an asshole
    (he's a big fucking asshole)

    Maybe I shouldnt be singing this song,
    Ranting and raving and carring on,
    Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong.
    NAAAHHHHH

    I'm an asshole
    (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
    I'm an asshole
    (he's the worlds biggest asshole)

    You know what I'm gonna do?
    I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadaliac Eldarado Convertable,
    Hot Pink!
    With whale skin hub caps,
    An all leather cow interior,
    And big brown baby seal eyes for headlights.
    YEAH!
    And I'm gonna drive around in that baby,
    At 115 miles per hour,
    Getting one mile per gallon,
    Sucking down quarter pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds in the old-fasioned non-biodegradable styrafoam containers.
    And when I'm done sucking down those grease ball burgers,
    I'm gonna wipe my mouth in the American flag,
    And then I'm gonna toss the styrafoam containers right out the side,
    And there ain't a God damn thing anybody can do about it,
    You know why?
    'Cause we got the bombs, that's why.
    Two words, Nuclear Fucking Weapons OK.
    Russia, Germany, Romania,
    They can have all the democracy they want.
    They can have a big democracy cake,
    Walk right through the middle of Tienemen Square,
    And it won't make a lick of difference,
    Because we got the bombs OK!
    John Wayne's not dead,
    He's frozen.
    And as soon as we find a cure for cancer, we're gonna thaw out the duke.
    And he's gonna be pretty pissed off,
    You know why?
    Have you ever taken a cold shower?
    Well multiply that by 15 million times,
    That's how pissed off the duke's gonna be.
    I'm gonna get the duke,
    And John Cassavetes,
    And Lee Marvin
    And Sam Peckinpah,
    And a case of whiskey,
    And drive down to Texas,
    And,
    (hey, Hey, You know you really are an asshole)
    Why don't you shut up and sing the song pal,
    You know the whole time I thought I was that asshole,
    And it turns out it was him,
    What an Asshole

    I'm an asshole
    (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
    I'm an asshole
    (he's the worlds biggest asshole)

    A, SS, HO, LE
    Everybody,
    A, SS, HO, LE

    I'm an asshole, and I'm Proud of it!

    Therefore, I would gladly accept your nomination for the first asshole.
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    Seenbad goes in ONLY if I can be his running mate!!!!

  18. #18
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    Originally posted by MAX
    Seenbad goes in ONLY if I can be his running mate!!!!
    So Max,does that mean your going to be The" Ring" leader then?
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  19. #19
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    Originally posted by seenbad
    I'm shocked and appalled that I'm not even mentioned once after 11 replies. What the fuck kind of stupid hen brain thread is this anyways?

    I nominate Chelle as the first asshole for even starting this thread. I've got plenty of asshole comments from her that are easily referenceable over the years.

    fuckin asshole.
    LOL!!
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  20. #20
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    No, you're right seenbad....I was neglectful to have not included you. Congratulations, you are the first official inductee into the Asshole Pen. You've proved your assholishness by not even reading the rules of the thread and noticing that females are not eligible for induction. :p

  21. #21
    Me Wise Magician
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    DaveIsKing doesn't want to be an asshole, because some queer might try to fuck me.
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  22. #22
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    Originally posted by SoCalChelle
    No, you're right seenbad....I was neglectful to have not included you. Congratulations, you are the first official inductee into the Asshole Pen. You've proved your assholishness by not even reading the rules of the thread and noticing that females are not eligible for induction. :p
    Okay, I guess I need to start the "Cunt Pen" then
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  23. #23
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    Re: The Asshole Pen

    Originally posted by SoCalChelle
    So feel free to share YOUR Asshole with the rest of us. Let us all join in the public flogging.
    this sounds, ummm well, interesting.
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  24. #24
    Me Wise Magician
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    Let's start the "Queer Pen".

  25. #25
    lms2
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    I can't nominate John Holmes because he has gotten tired of me...

    Can't think of anyone else I want to nominate right at the moment either. Well, okay, I have a boss at work but he doesn't post here, OR DOES HE?

    Lots of people have been stopping by to view the assholes though.

    Voyers all of you, Sick peoples.

    Have a great weekend.

  26. #26
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    LOL@Max's poem

    Originally posted by lms2
    I can't nominate John Holmes because he has gotten tired of me...
    You say that like it's a bad thing...

  27. #27
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    I don't believe I'll share my asshole with y'all today...
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  28. #28
    lms2
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    Originally posted by SoCalChelle
    LOL@Max's poem



    You say that like it's a bad thing...
    Well, not really, but you know. I was kind of hoping for a truce wherein we either ended up friends, or agreed to disagree and stay the hell away from each other. He is such a game player. Now I have to wait for the other shoe to fall. Is this the calm before the storm?

    Ally, he does need a new playmate.

  29. #29
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    Huge asshole
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  30. #30
    lms2
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    Northern Girl....I am surprised at you. That is funny though. LMAO.
    I hope that is just drawn on.

  31. #31
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    Why are you surprised?

  32. #32
    lms2
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    LOL. I was kidding. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by anything.

  33. #33
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    OK. Don't really come here enough to have people think they know me. Just curious what you were thinking. Never assume. Especially in a situation like this. Can we really know anyone?

  34. #34
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    Damn, wrong forum.

    Now I'm an asshole.

    oops.
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  35. #35
    lms2
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    Originally posted by Northern Girl
    OK. Don't really come here enough to have people think they know me. Just curious what you were thinking. Never assume. Especially in a situation like this. Can we really know anyone?
    Okay, really, it was because in your picture, you look like a really nice girl... but you are right, we should never ASS U ME anything about anyone. I haven't posted with you enough to know what you are like. I have a few pics that make me look angelic, but I have a mouth like a toilet, and a twisted sense of humor... I just had to open my big mouth and insert my even bigger foot cause it is a really bad habit of mine. I thought the pic was cute.

  36. #36
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    Originally posted by SoCalChelle
    LOL@Max's poem
    It's actually a song by Dennis Leary but thanks.

    Now back to business, I wanna be in the asshole pen. PLEEEEEEEASE?

    I've been called one thousands of times in my lifetime, does that count?

  37. #37
    lms2
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    Originally posted by ALinChainz
    Damn, wrong forum.

    Now I'm an asshole.

    oops.
    All, Al, you have always been an asshole, now you are just out of the closet. Better to be a poster than a lurker in a pen like this.

    Max, I will speak to Chelle for you on this, but I don't know. Not just anyone can be an asshole.

  38. #38
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    Originally posted by lms2
    Max, I will speak to Chelle for you on this, but I don't know. Not just anyone can be an asshole.
    Ok, I just gave you a five star vote. Don't let me down.

  39. #39
    lms2
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  40. #40
    Rotharmy Gladiator

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