"The Ched Chunkhead Opens His Insufferable Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" Thread

[Hardrock69]

Vent all you want. That fat bitter piece-of-shit has nothing of value to offer the world at present but his infantile bleatings which only demonstrate what an insecure, talentless little buttlicker he is.

[DavidLeeNatra]

Vent all you want. That fat bitter piece-of-shit has nothing of value to offer the world at present but his infantile bleatings which only demonstrate what an insecure, talentless little buttlicker he is.

and I don't get tired of his bitter rants...it's so funny to watch him making an ass of himself...

[Yount]

Ha ha he's so obscure they even spell his name wrong.

[Yount]

Does he even play a note on that shitty red one humbuck guitar? Tell me this isn't a blatant money grab, fooling the public and using LOVE to make MONEY.

[Yount]

Random comments left after reading Sammy interview slamming new VH with old material...

I saw an interview where joe had created a beautiful song. The band was excited to record it. I will give them a chance. Find the song. Sammy screaming poorly structured juvenile lyrics across a great song. Vh with dave is rooted with a bluesy voice. Hagar sounds like journey. I wanted to get joe satriani a sympathy card for feeding his song into the screaming garbage disposal that is sammy hagar.
February 4, 2012 3:38 AM

Fact: Sammy Hagar is a fat douche.
Fact: Sammy Hagar needs to STFU.
Fact: Sammy Hagar will never reach the level of stardom that only VH took him to.
Fact: Nobody will remember Sammy Hagar in 40 years, so who cares.
February 4, 2012 1:31 PM

Hager should have reworked his old stuff because the new cd is nowhere to be found.
February 5, 2012 12:14 PM

Hager is a fat, angry, bitter, jealous, intimidated capri pant wearing 70 year old... Chkfeet are a collection of tards. Anthony, was the weakest link in VH...BYE BYE...Wolfie is better at 21.. Chad weak link in the peppers...Hager, well lets just say in all fairness, that when he was the recipient of the golden lottery ticket and was asked to join VH, every album VH released with fatty sold less than the 1 previous. Yes they went # 1, but they were riding the coattails of jump. The greatest hits with the two new Roth tunes sold more than all the Vanhager records except 5150...( thats gotta sting). Satriani, I give him respect, he deserves it, good guitar player, and a good guy. But he aint no Steve Vai and sure aint no Eddie.. Super Group?? Are you crazy.. The good news is all you feet peeps can catch the foot on tour at your local highschool cafateria tour this summer... Still plenty of tixx left....
February 8, 2012 11:47 AM

Bottom line the new van halen is rock solid and chickenfoot iii is very average.
February 12, 2012 1:42 AM

[DavidLeeNatra]

flying Dave,



kick it, fatso...

[golitely]

I also get tired of this "Dave doesn't do love songs" (like being able to do a love song is how you measure how good a band is anyway). What Dave doesn't do is those crap cookie-cutter schlock whiney love songs like Sammy (and all those other big-haired wannabes). He does way cooler (and more sensual IMHO) stuff like IASR or LG, or Hina solo. That other formulaic garbage is for radio stations without imagination.

[Zing!]

Haggar has somehow managed to have bad taste in clothes in every decade so far.

[katina]

flying Dave,



kick it, fatso...

There are a lot of people who make a living off of my name. The only interesting thing about Van Halen, after the music stops, is me. It's not that I do so much, it's that they do so goddamn little! - DLR 1997

[chuckie lee]

Spot on

Random comments left after reading Sammy interview slamming new VH with old material...

I saw an interview where joe had created a beautiful song. The band was excited to record it. I will give them a chance. Find the song. Sammy screaming poorly structured juvenile lyrics across a great song. Vh with dave is rooted with a bluesy voice. Hagar sounds like journey. I wanted to get joe satriani a sympathy card for feeding his song into the screaming garbage disposal that is sammy hagar.
February 4, 2012 3:38 AM

Fact: Sammy Hagar is a fat douche.
Fact: Sammy Hagar needs to STFU.
Fact: Sammy Hagar will never reach the level of stardom that only VH took him to.
Fact: Nobody will remember Sammy Hagar in 40 years, so who cares.
February 4, 2012 1:31 PM

Hager should have reworked his old stuff because the new cd is nowhere to be found.
February 5, 2012 12:14 PM

Hager is a fat, angry, bitter, jealous, intimidated capri pant wearing 70 year old... Chkfeet are a collection of tards. Anthony, was the weakest link in VH...BYE BYE...Wolfie is better at 21.. Chad weak link in the peppers...Hager, well lets just say in all fairness, that when he was the recipient of the golden lottery ticket and was asked to join VH, every album VH released with fatty sold less than the 1 previous. Yes they went # 1, but they were riding the coattails of jump. The greatest hits with the two new Roth tunes sold more than all the Vanhager records except 5150...( thats gotta sting). Satriani, I give him respect, he deserves it, good guitar player, and a good guy. But he aint no Steve Vai and sure aint no Eddie.. Super Group?? Are you crazy.. The good news is all you feet peeps can catch the foot on tour at your local highschool cafateria tour this summer... Still plenty of tixx left....
February 8, 2012 11:47 AM

Bottom line the new van halen is rock solid and chickenfoot iii is very average.
February 12, 2012 1:42 AM

I remember writing that Hager bein what he is and 70... I disliked him quite a bit that day, well, just like everyday...

[Yount]

Did you write that? Nice coincidence!

[chuckie lee]

Real cool... Even cooler that a fellow roth and roller snatched it up.......

[BenJammin]

three cock box 1 comment
Hagar: "I'd love to be abducted. I'd sit on my deck at home waiting all night long to be abducted."
Sounds like someone's itching for an anal probing.
* 04/05/2011 08:49 PM

AVC: You joined Van Halen in 1985, and the first song you wrote together was “Summer Nights,” which you describe as coming together quickly during your first jam session. Was your musical connection with Van Halen instantaneous?

SH: That’s exactly what it was. I think the previous incarnation—if I may go there, I don’t even like to go there, but Ed and Al would write the music, Mikey would play along, and Ted Templeman would go and get with Dave and coach him through melodies and phrasings. When I came in, we didn’t need Ted Templeman or anybody. I had my scat together, and my melodic sense was good, because I could pick up a guitar and I’d work it out. We went on a rocketship then. The four of us were in the studio with Donn Landee, and we wrote songs like they were just pouring out of us. We got very prolific, and it wasn’t that way before, I guess.

AVC: You claim that a psychic predicted the date of your first concert with Van Halen—March 27, 1986—months before you even joined the band.

SH: Yeah. His name is Marshall Lever. I’ve got goosebumps on my arms now. Now you have fucked up, Steve. Last night, Marshall Lever called my house and left a message saying, “I woke up this morning and it was you in the newspaper, saying, ‘Sammy Abducted By Aliens.’ How are those aliens treating you, my friend?” And I haven’t heard from this guy for years. Now you are talking about Marshall. Yeah, he said that I was going to start a whole new thing that was going to be—well, not exactly, he used a different word—but it was going to be what I have done all along, but that it was going to be more intense. He was in his trance mode, and he would say, “You need to just go about your business and don’t try to make any changes. Everything has to happen in its own time. But on this date, you will start a new cycle of what you have been doing on a more intense level.” And, by God, he was dead on the fucking money.

AVC: Van Halen started doing more love songs once you joined. Were you trying to broaden the band’s audience?

SH: What happened was, when Eddie heard my vocal range, he got inspired and started busting out keyboards. Because he would try to do it before and it wouldn’t work, because you have to sing a certain way to be a little more melodic. Dave was great with screaming over the top of a good hard riff—that’s his forte, and where his limitations were. Whereas I had more of a vocal range. If you wanted to play a keyboard song, like “Love Walks In,” I can do it. And Eddie got all inspired, and started pulling ideas that he probably had sitting around for the last few years that he still dug that he never could present, or if he did present, went nowhere. You know, everybody’s like that. I’m a songwriter. I’ve got ideas in the closet that just didn’t work out with my band, that I think, “This is a great idea, it’s just the wrong guys.” Like if I were playing with Sting and Neil Peart, this song would be great, you know what I mean?

I’ve always been into writing love songs. I would rather sing about my love affair or about a woman or to a woman than some guys any day. I’ve had my fill of “One Way To Rock” or “I Can’t Drive 55.” Those are guy songs to me, and I’m cool with that. But when you write a great love song and you start seeing that 50 percent of your audience is beautiful women, that’s much more rewarding, my friend, than having a bunch of guys out there. Trust me. So, I always liked a good love song and, you know, I dig being in love. Love is the shit, man. When you fall in love, everything’s great. You can have all the money in the world, all the cars, and the houses—but with no love life, man, you are sitting there, you’re bummed, you’re pissed off. You go, “Man, this sucks.” You could be in the gutter and fall in love with someone, and you feel great. That’s my honest opinion. I’ve witnessed both sides of that fence and being in love is where it’s at.

AVC: The Van Halen brothers were upset when John McCain used “Right Now” during a campaign stop in 2008. But in your view, the song was being used to “inspire” people, so you were for it.

SH: That’s what it was written for. And they were so wrong about that, to say that they didn’t want someone to use it for their campaign. Bullshit. This is pop music. You’ve got a candidate for president of the United States using it, that’s hitting the biggest audience you’re ever going to hit in your entire friggin’ life. And you don’t want that? Bullshit. That’s what you want. It’s not even for success or fortune, it’s because that’s the power of the song. I was honored by it. You know, those guys just went against it because I was for it, because I’m a co-writer, publisher of that song, so for it to get accepted, we had to sign off on it. I signed off in a second. “You bet that anyone can use this. I don’t care. You can use it for anything.” If it is to inspire people in the positive sense, I will okay it. They just didn’t like the fact that I okayed it. Believe me, man, once they turned on me, they turned on me in every respect.

AVC: “Don’t Tell Me” actually sounds a bit like Nirvana. Did Van Halen make a mistake by trying to sound grungy instead of like Van Halen?

SH: I loved that song, but man, it was dark. That song did nothing for Van Halen. The record was big—we always sold 4 or 5 million records no matter what we did. But that song didn’t take us anywhere, and I know why now. It wasn’t what Van Halen fans wanted. It showed the darkness of Van Halen, and basically the end of the band.

AVC: You’ve said that you’d like to re-join Van Halen at some point. But after writing this book, is that realistic?

SH: I’ve really thought this over, because I know this book is going to crush any possibility real soon, but that’s okay. I don’t want to try to force anything, because I’m really happy with Chickenfoot; my new record with them is phenomenal. I think it’s better than the first one, and I think our first record was killing. When they read this book, they are going to be pissed because this happened and they don’t want me telling everybody, but I had to. I’m writing my biography. It’s my business. This is what happened in my life, and I’m writing about it. For me to leave that out wouldn’t have been fair to the fans, you know? So I put the dirt in. I talked about the good times. Even the good times are going to piss some of these guys off, because their old ladies are going to say, “You dirty punk. You were hanging around with them. I know you did it.” And that’s unfair, but, you know, I’m going to get under the bus right with you boys.

I really think that Van Halen has two choices if they want to continue. And maybe they don’t want to continue, because they don’t seem to do much. But they have two choices: Sam or Dave. If they tried to go out and get some young kid to sing my songs, it would be a disaster. The fans are not going to buy into that. Van Halen is too big to do that. As soon as this Dave thing blows over, you know, they obviously can’t make a record with him. He is dried up or not very prolific; something’s wrong there, obviously. So I’m the only choice to make a record. And that’s the only way I would do it. We’d have to make some new music. The fans deserve it. Van Halen’s got some of the best fans on the planet.

You just love cashing the cheques, Scammy.

Man just when you think this thread has run it's course someone finds something new where Spam turned the bitter, pathetic, and denial knobs up to 11.

[DavidLeeNatra]

Man just when you think this thread has run it's course someone finds something new where Spam turned the bitter, pathetic, and denial knobs up to 11.

and he won't stop...

[Guitar Shark]

For anyone who isn't playing close attention, that article is over a year old.