Album Reviews

[binnie]

Beasto Blanco – Live Fast Die Loud (2013)

With an album cover which plays a shameless tribute to the sheer abandon of Ted Nugent’s ‘Free For All’, you just know that Beasto Blanco are going to be cooler than a penguin’s giblets. Led by Chuck Garric (of Alice Cooper, L. A. Guns and Dio fame) and it is quite a dirty little rock ‘n’ roller. Describing a band in 2014 as ‘classic rock’ or ‘hard rock’ usually means little more than ‘they’re just a poor clone of Led Zeppelin, The Ramones of AC/DC (delete as appropriate)’ but Beasto Blanco are more than that. Having a vibe indebted to the adrenalin of a garage band or a dirty, alley lay, they also recognize that you achieve an awful lot more from a rock ‘n’ roll record if you don’t just blast off at full speed ahead all of the time. Thus whilst ‘Beasto Blanco’ has all of the balls and attitude of a scuzzy rock band and sounds like Zodiac Mindwarp with Rob Zombie on vocals, the synth-laden ‘California’ has a very contemporary, chilled out vibe. Most refreshing of all, you get the sense that this is not a band posing in the rock ‘n’ roll life, but living it – ‘Blood Shot’ (think The Backyard Babies), ‘Motorqueen’ (the dirge metal of a hungry V8) and ‘Beg To Differ’ (a snarling pitbull) all rock like a whorehouse during happy hour.

If you’re looking for sophistication, look elsewhere. But if you’re looking for cheap thrills and lead in your pecker, come on in.

[binnie]

Steel Panther – All You Can Eat (2014)

On album number three, you get the sense that Steel Panther’s 15 minutes are fast running out. It’s not that ‘All You Can Eat’ isn’t a good record – or, indeed, that you doubt it’ll be right at the top of your IPOD playlist by the end of the year – it’s merely that whilst their parody of ‘80s metal is good – really, really good – at the third telling just about any joke loses its spice.

If you’ve heard the Panther before, you know what you’re getting: big riffs, the crudest and most expletive-laden, porn-drenched lyrics imaginable, and top-notch tunes by the bucketful. Opener ‘Pussywhipped’ – which begins, in an unusually subtle piss-take of the sheer pomposity of ‘80s metal bands, with an outlandishly out-of-place funereal acoustic intro – is perhaps the heaviest they’ve ever sounded and sets the tone for the misogyny which follows. When ‘All You Can Eat’ turns everything up to 11, it really kicks. ‘Gloryhole’ – which features a superb riff – is bound to become a live favourite (try as hard as you like, you’ll be singing ‘Blow my load at the gloryhole’ all day for weeks to cum, huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu); and ‘B.V.S’ is as good as anything on their first two records (and, naturally, hilarious). Elsewhere, however, things are a little turned down. The radio friendly ‘Party Like The Tomorrow Is The End Of The World’ could have actually been on a record released in 1987 which, in a sense is art imitating life, and perhaps a sign that someone somewhere thinks that Steel Panther have a wider commercial potential; and the preening ballad ‘The Burden Of Being Wonderful’, although a rather brilliant pastiche of Whitesnake, is a little tame by this band’s standards. There are also some missteps – ‘If I Was King’ and ‘You’re Beautiful When You Don’t Talk’, whilst far from filler, don’t feature jokes of quite the same calibre as the rest of this record.

Elsewhere, though, the quality is high. ‘Fucking My Heart In The Ass’ is a very well observed take on how utterly moronic most of the ‘Hair Metal’ bands’ lyrics were; and ‘Ten Strikes and You’re Out’ is probably a fairly accurate take on what most ‘relationships’ on Sunset Strip looked like (if jaded rock star biographies are anything to go by). But perhaps best of all is the utterly magnificent ‘Bukkake Tears’, a power ballad which made this reviewer actually howl with laughter. You sense that Steel Panther want to have their cake and eat it with the ‘irony’ of their crass sexism, but if this had been made by a collection of feminists, we’d call it satire – it really holds up the mirror to the ugly side of male sexuality. Oh, and it’s hilarious too.

But you know what the best joke of all is? Steel Panther’s songs are better written – and their albums are more consistent –than almost all of the bands who are the subject of their parody. Enjoy the ride while it lasts.

[binnie]

RSJ – Higgs Boson (2013)

Britain’s RSJ have released a debut album packed full of potential. At just 30 minutes in length, there is absolutely no fat here, just closely honed tunes delivered with passion and sincerity, words which this band clearly lives by. Their sound might best be described as hardcore infused and heavily influenced by The Dillinger Escape Plan – the songs are short and crisp, but feature multiple sections and are awash with a frenetic energy. ‘His Name Is Robert Paulson’ is a pounding opener; while ‘Collectively We Are Tall’ is indebted to another UK band, the chronically overlooked Earthrone 9. ‘Running With Scissors’ ranges from extreme metal to post-rock in 3 minutes, and the likes of ‘Cataracts’ and ‘I Did Not Die’ are genuinely affecting in a way that a great many post-Dillinger bands are not.
‘Higgs Boson’ is an appropriate title: this is a band with real ambition, writing songs with something to say.

[binnie]

Heart Of A Coward – Severance (2013)

If the quality of a band’s music correlated to their status in their given genre, then Britain’s Heart Of A Coward should be one of the Top Twenty Metal bands in the world at the moment. On album number two, HOAC have served up something very, very good indeed – taking the more technical end of the metal spectrum (based on the Meshuggah-esque riffing of djent) and turning it into compelling, ground rumbling anthems, ‘Severance’ has been created solely to kick your ass for weeks on end. Here those acrobatic time signatures and hulking riffs don’t sound angular – they sound vital, and that’s a term you can rarely apply in a Metal landscape populated by identikit Lamb Of God and metalcore wannabes. HOAC are part of the djent sound; but they’re not restricted or contained by it.

‘Monstro’ is exactly how metal should sound in 2014 – crushingly heavy yet well balanced, the band’s dynamics make songs like this feel more cinematic than their 3 or 4 minute duration should allow. Welded to a production with depth and poise, but not robbing the record of feel, these songs come alive. ‘Nausea’ is sloooow and monstrously heavy; ‘Dead Weight’ comes close to the bounce and bombast of Lamb Of God territory, but is infinitely more memorable than anything on the Virginian’s last disc; ‘Prey’ – which reminded this reviewer of late ‘90s killers Kilgore in places – has a HUGE chorus; whilst ‘Distance’ hints at the prog elements of fellow British talents Tesseract. But in truth, no-one else quite sounds like this dazzling display of progressive, yet immediate, Metal.

So often, ‘technical’ equates to nerdy naval gazing – here, however, it’s used to enhance to bubbling aggression which seethes in the hearts of all great metal bands. In Carl Ayers and Steve Haycock, HOAC have some serious six-string might. The riffs in ‘Mirrors’, ‘Eclipsed’ and ‘Desensitise’ approach Gojira-like Goddery. But it’s vocalist Jamie Graham who really steal the show – the growled vocal style is the hardest to make your own, but Graham does so with passion, charisma and an impressive set of lyrics. In doing so, he tops off a record of immense power, and one which serves up a different favourite track on every spin.

[binnie]

Santa Cruz – Screaming For Adrenalin (2013)

On the surface, Santa Cruz are unspeakably awful: Steel Panther with all of the crass but none of the irony, this is 1985 minus the reverb, filthy pop-laden rock ‘n’ roll that’s simpler than a Kardashian and possessed of half the attention span. But you just can’t help but like ‘em, in the same way you just can’t help getting a stiffy at the type of nasty porn that makes you feel guilty – it’s only natural that hooks as good as these will stick in your ears. The title track is Hanoi meets Motley; ‘Anthem For The Young & Restless’ is a snotty fistful of sleaze that makes you yearn for those 18 year old rock chicks that you used to know (it’s really, really good); ‘High On You’ is pure Warrant; whilst ‘Relentless Renegade’ is more coiffured that Liberace’s nutsack.

It’s undoubtedly the case that anything that engages in this type of etch-a-sketch nostalgia is creatively redundant, and some of the material here is naturally thinner than OJ’s defence (see ‘Sweet Sensation’ and ‘Loving You (Is just For Playing)’). But that was always part of the fun. On ‘Screaming For Adrenalin’, hair is flicked, planks are spanked, and political correctness is assigned to oblivion – this, boys and girls, is rock ‘n’ roll that way it used to be.

[ELVIS]

That way it used to be ??

I'm passing on this crap...

I can smell it through the review...

[binnie]

Black Label Society – Catacombs of the Black Vatican (2014)

At the turn of the millennium – when the world was gripped by baggy-pants wearing Nu Metal clowns – Black Label Society were vital, a breath of air not so much fresh as beer-infused, and blackened. Releasing albums which snarled, riffed and bludgeoned their way out of the speakers (see ‘Sonic Brew’ and ‘The Blessed Hellride’), Zakk Wylde’s gang of maurauderers made up for what they lacked in sophistication with metallic gusto. And then it all became a little silly. Investing in an increasingly ridiculous ‘biker’ image and over-relying of Wylde’s six-string pinache at the expense of actual songs (some tunes on BLS’s mid-career records might have well have just been one big pinch harmonic), Zakk Wylde became a parody of himself: The Bearded Squeak. Then the Squeak discovered the piano – and everything became a little……cluttered. Indeed, BlS’s last couple of records have inhabited a space somewhere between Ted Nugent and Barry Manilow – that is, a space that no-one would want to be.

It is a huge relief then, that ‘Catacombs…’ is so damn good. Gone is the over-reliance on pinch-harmonics; gone are the songs which are thinner than a model’s diet; and gone is the desire to join Crosby Stills and Nash. But it’s no return to the early days either. Opener ‘Fields Of Unforgiveness’ finds The Bearded Squeak’s normal metallic bluster filtered through some Alice In Chains melodies, a style which fits his growing vocal abilities. ‘My Dying Time’ is equally stunning, and features a blusesy riff which is one of the band’s best of recent years. The songs are – without exception – truly excellent. ‘Angel Of Mercy’ is delicate and sincere where most BLS ballads are trite and overblown, and may be the best softer song they’ve penned since ‘Spoke In The Wheel’ waaaaay back in 1999. But don’t be thinking that age and sobriety have neutered The Bearded Squeak – ‘Heart Of Darkness’, ‘Beyond The Down’ and ‘Damn The Flood’ are all heavier than Jabba The Hut’s first dump of the day. This is Heavy Metal, people. Plain, simple and glorious.

But there is a glitch: Wylde’s solos are not what they once were. Sure, he’s still an exceptional player, but there isn’t a lot here that’s memorable. And on songs this fine, that’s a crying shame.

[binnie]

That way it used to be ??

I'm passing on this crap...

I can smell it through the review...

Well, it IS the way rock 'n' roll used to sound, in the same way that Ratt, Warrant and WASP are the way that rock 'n' roll used to sound. I'm glad you picked up on the 'this may not be for you' warning....

[Von Halen]

Black Label Society – Catacombs of the Black Vatican (2014)

At the turn of the millennium – when the world was gripped by baggy-pants wearing Nu Metal clowns – Black Label Society were vital, a breath of air not so much fresh as beer-infused, and blackened. Releasing albums which snarled, riffed and bludgeoned their way out of the speakers (see ‘Sonic Brew’ and ‘The Blessed Hellride’), Zakk Wylde’s gang of maurauderers made up for what they lacked in sophistication with metallic gusto. And then it all became a little silly. Investing in an increasingly ridiculous ‘biker’ image and over-relying of Wylde’s six-string pinache at the expense of actual songs (some tunes on BLS’s mid-career records might have well have just been one big pinch harmonic), Zakk Wylde became a parody of himself: The Bearded Squeak. Then the Squeak discovered the piano – and everything became a little……cluttered. Indeed, BlS’s last couple of records have inhabited a space somewhere between Ted Nugent and Barry Manilow – that is, a space that no-one would want to be.

It is a huge relief then, that ‘Catacombs…’ is so damn good. Gone is the over-reliance on pinch-harmonics; gone are the songs which are thinner than a model’s diet; and gone is the desire to join Crosby Stills and Nash. But it’s no return to the early days either. Opener ‘Fields Of Unforgiveness’ finds The Bearded Squeak’s normal metallic bluster filtered through some Alice In Chains melodies, a style which fits his growing vocal abilities. ‘My Dying Time’ is equally stunning, and features a blusesy riff which is one of the band’s best of recent years. The songs are – without exception – truly excellent. ‘Angel Of Mercy’ is delicate and sincere where most BLS ballads are trite and overblown, and may be the best softer song they’ve penned since ‘Spoke In The Wheel’ waaaaay back in 1999. But don’t be thinking that age and sobriety have neutered The Bearded Squeak – ‘Heart Of Darkness’, ‘Beyond The Down’ and ‘Damn The Flood’ are all heavier than Jabba The Hut’s first dump of the day. This is Heavy Metal, people. Plain, simple and glorious.

But there is a glitch: Wylde’s solos are not what they once were. Sure, he’s still an exceptional player, but there isn’t a lot here that’s memorable. And on songs this fine, that’s a crying shame.

I love this album.

Keep in mind, some of the soloing you are missing, might be because the Evil Twin Nick Catanese is no longer in the band.

[binnie]

Maybe, although I was under the impression that Beardy Squeak did the solos.

It's a minor glitch though - it's a good album. One I've played over and over, which hasn't happened with a BLS record for a long, long time....

[ELVIS]

I've never even made it through one...

[binnie]

I think that 'Sonic Brew' (1999) is a really, really good record. 'The Blessed Hellride' also rules.....

[Von Halen]

Book Of Shadows is brilliant!

Mafia is a killer album!

Fuck you haters!

[ELVIS]

I'm not a hater...

It's just that when I hear BLS it sounds like Ozzy should be handling the vocals and then it grows tired...

[78/84 guy]

I think that 'Sonic Brew' (1999) is a really, really good record. 'The Blessed Hellride' also rules.....

But that's about all you need from BLS. It all starts too sound the same. I quit buying after Hellride.