NEWS FLASH!: Dave IS VanHalen!!
No matter what the Bozo Brothers say... No matter what Ronald McHagar says, no matter what Mikey says-WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT MIKEY ANYWAYS?!? Dave embodies the SPIRIT, the wreckless abandon, the fine-tuned ass-kickingness(I know that's not a REAL WORD) of Classic Van Halen!! CVH, and Roth solo, is the kind of music that makes your parents wet their pants... It pisses off your neighbors, and scares your teachers into a perpetual state of dementia. It's the song "Panama" blaring out your convertable while the 3 hot dames in the backseat scream the words at the top of their lungs as you CAREEN WILDLY down MainStreet USA with a Full Blown ARMY of cops chasing you straight to FUCKING HELL!!! It's the tunes that makes panties wet, and old-folks cry!! It's the videos that gave your mom a coronary, and your dad a BONER. It's the music of the ultimate "FUCK YOU" to all the Goddamn pussy-asses that MAKE ME FUCKIN PUKE!! It's Red-Hot, Red-Blooded, Good-Old Fashioned, BAD ASS AMERICAN HEDONISM IN A CAN, MOTHERFUCKER!!! And if Ed, Alex, Mikey, and Sam can't hang, then FUCK THEM WITH A CACTUS, cuz Dave can hang... Shit, DAVE invented it! Dave's done more for the Bozo Brothers than anyone, and how do they repay him?? They tool him out of his HARD-EARNED $$ in the royalties... they talk shit about him EVERYTIME they are within a 10 yard radius of a microphone... they hire Hagar to sing for them??--SHIT... They try to DISCREDIT DAVE's efforts as leader of CVH... They refuse to play CVH material LIVE... THEY SHOULD BE KISSING DAVE'S ASS EVERY FUCKIN' DAY OF THEIR LOUSY LIVES FOR WHAT HE'S DONE!!!! Dave took them from mediocre garage band with a good guitarist, to international superstars with a MONSTER guitarist!! Dave pushed Ed to be the best, then he pushed some more. Dave saw the potential, and PRESSED it. Kept pressing it... "It's not that I did so Goddamn much, it's just that they did so Goddamn little..." I think that sums it all up, then, right? So as Russ Dwarf says: "KEEP THE SPIRIT ALIVE!!"
Dave or the FUCKING Grave, douchebag!! Somebody give me a shot....
No matter what the Bozo Brothers say... No matter what Ronald McHagar says, no matter what Mikey says-WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT MIKEY ANYWAYS?!? Dave embodies the SPIRIT, the wreckless abandon, the fine-tuned ass-kickingness(I know that's not a REAL WORD) of Classic Van Halen!! CVH, and Roth solo, is the kind of music that makes your parents wet their pants... It pisses off your neighbors, and scares your teachers into a perpetual state of dementia. It's the song "Panama" blaring out your convertable while the 3 hot dames in the backseat scream the words at the top of their lungs as you CAREEN WILDLY down MainStreet USA with a Full Blown ARMY of cops chasing you straight to FUCKING HELL!!! It's the tunes that makes panties wet, and old-folks cry!! It's the videos that gave your mom a coronary, and your dad a BONER. It's the music of the ultimate "FUCK YOU" to all the Goddamn pussy-asses that MAKE ME FUCKIN PUKE!! It's Red-Hot, Red-Blooded, Good-Old Fashioned, BAD ASS AMERICAN HEDONISM IN A CAN, MOTHERFUCKER!!! And if Ed, Alex, Mikey, and Sam can't hang, then FUCK THEM WITH A CACTUS, cuz Dave can hang... Shit, DAVE invented it! Dave's done more for the Bozo Brothers than anyone, and how do they repay him?? They tool him out of his HARD-EARNED $$ in the royalties... they talk shit about him EVERYTIME they are within a 10 yard radius of a microphone... they hire Hagar to sing for them??--SHIT... They try to DISCREDIT DAVE's efforts as leader of CVH... They refuse to play CVH material LIVE... THEY SHOULD BE KISSING DAVE'S ASS EVERY FUCKIN' DAY OF THEIR LOUSY LIVES FOR WHAT HE'S DONE!!!! Dave took them from mediocre garage band with a good guitarist, to international superstars with a MONSTER guitarist!! Dave pushed Ed to be the best, then he pushed some more. Dave saw the potential, and PRESSED it. Kept pressing it... "It's not that I did so Goddamn much, it's just that they did so Goddamn little..." I think that sums it all up, then, right? So as Russ Dwarf says: "KEEP THE SPIRIT ALIVE!!"
Dave or the FUCKING Grave, douchebag!! Somebody give me a shot....
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