News For May 2000 Hospital dismisses Eddie Van Halen Cancer reports   According to Reuters, Eddie Van Halen does not have cancer. "Let me confirm that he does not have cancer,'' M.D. Anderson Cancer Center spokeswoman Jane Brust told Reuters. After a through examination Eddie was found not to have cancer, but was willing to take part in a clinical trial to prevent cancer.   The information posted on the website earlier was inaccurate, but we were acting on the information we had on hand. Best wishes to the Van Halen family. Quick Links to Eddie Van Halen Cancer articles on the web. 1. An audio spoof done by 103.5 The Fox in Denver(requires Real Audio). This clip was done by their zany morning crew, Lewis and Floorwax, and might be considered offensive to some. 103.5 The Fox News Reuters Associated Press CNN Jam! Music ABC Daily News LiveDaily Pollstar MTV News For 5/27/00 Eddie Van Halen Has Cancer      First, we heard the rumors that trickled in, then the reports from Mtv. Eventually the official Van Halen web site confirmed our fears:    "OFFICIAL STATEMENT [5/26/00]: HOUSTON:    The University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center confirms that Guitarist Eddie Van Halen visited the Houston center yesterday (May 25) as an outpatient.    According to M.D. Anderson doctors, Eddie is planning to begin an outpatient clinical trial to prevent cancer.    No further information is being released at this time." Mtv also reports that Edward Van Halen had surgery for a malignant growth in his tongue, and is now in a 12-week treatment program as an outpatient. The prognosis on Edward's health looks positive.    While most of us have been awaiting news about Van Halen, this is not the news we all wanted to hear. This reporter personally lost his own father to cancer when he was 16, so this really hits home. Really puts things in perspective, doesn't it?    The entire DLR Army staff gives a truly heartfelt "get well soon" to our favorite guitarist, and our thoughts go out to his family during this time.    All messages to Edward Van Halen should be directed to the official Van Halen Web Site (http://www.van-halen.com) Link: Mtv.com News Section.   Ralph Lee Roth Rules! SAENZ SPEAKS - "The DLR Army might not go down in history... but they will go down on your sister!"   Superbad mofo and friend to the site Ralph Saenz treated a packed house of classic VH fans in Brea, California to the closest thing you've seen to Diamond Dave and the boys since 1984!     It's hard to believe your eyes and ears when the Atomic Punks start surfin' those familiar sonic waves.         All the pieces are there, man... the songs, the chicks, the clothes, the classic stage banter... did we mention the chicks?!     What can we say? We love these guys and we can't encourage you enough to go out and check out their dead-on shows dedicated to keeping the spirit of Van Halen alive. They carry the torch forward for all of us.     And Ralph... well, what can you say about Ralph? He must be pretty Goddamn good at this gig if he and the Punks had half you folks watching the Colorado Avalanche game believing you were seeing a reunited Van Halen on TV.     On top of the band's unforgettable performance in Colorado, we've just gotten a few clips you won't hear anywhere but at Army Headquarters.     In an effort to make DLR Army Radio even more ass kicking, Ralph has leant us his uncanny voice to add to the fun.     With gems like these little ditties - (requires Real Audio) 1. "Other web sites comes and go, the DLR Army is here to stay!" 2. "Welcome to Roth Army Radio. All Dave All Night!" 3. "All The World's a stage and you are listening to..one@$#@#$..give me a beer man!" 4. "Diamond David Lee Roth Army,.. always had it... always will." 5. "Diamond David Lee Roth Army..Yeah we won't go down in history, but we will go down on your sister my friend." 6. "David Lee Roth Army. Yeah! Little ain't enough. If 2 is good than 4 must be a hell of alot better man!" 7. "Roth Army Radio live in front of your naked steaming eyes and ears." 8. "Whooah! Baby the Roth Army is going to be all over you like a hot sweaty four piece suit in the middle of July. Ohh... what was your name again baby? Oh Yeah." 9. "Whaaoah! Hey hey, are you having a good time southern California?" 10. "Hey it's Diamond David Lee Roth, keep listening to Roth Army Radio or I will fuck your girlfriend pal!" 11. "It doesn't matter if you win or lose...it's how good you look doing it."    DLR Army Radio is packin enough heat to keep your little privates tingling 24-Fuckin'-Hours-A-Day, Roth fans!    And why would he do that for little ol' us? Call it a mutual admiration society. Check out what Ralph recently said about his enlistment.   "DLR ARMY is the best! Yes, I read the interviews all the time."    Every bit as good as getting an official endorsement from Diamond Dave himself as far as we are concerned!    Reunion 2000? Hell, it's on right now as far as we are concerned. Check out these dates for an Atomic Punks show headed your way, little dreamer. 26 May. The Blue Agave. San Diego, CA. 2 June. Gussie L'amour's. Honolulu, Hawaii 3 June.Gussie L'amour's. Honolulu, Hawaii 9 June. Canes. San Diego, CA 10 June. The Whisky-A-Go-Go. Los Angeles, Ca 16 June. Cajun House Phoenix,Arizona. 17 June. Baxter's North. Everett, WA News For 5/24/00 Everybody Wants Some: A Tribute To Van Halen The DLR Army gives you it's next review on another Van Halen tribute CD. This time it's title is "Everybody Wants Some: A Tribute to Van Halen."    That's a pretty bold claim considering that most of these songs are at least, a loose interpretation of the original. I call this CD a 50/50 shot. Either you are going to love the CD, or you're going to hate the CD for that reason alone. Do you want to hear "Dance The Night Away" in a country/western style? Or maybe "Jamie's Cryin'" in a Samba beat? Some of you will, the rest of you will lose your stomach on the other side of the room. Click here to read the review. Links[Read Our Official Review][Buy The Cd] News For 5/20/00 DLR Army On VH1's Rockshow Yes fellas, we have finally hit bigtime! DLRArmy.com, feeling like Hugh Hefner after a lapdance, a viagra dripfeed, and a swift kick in the nuts was mentioned on VH1's Rock Show last night. Suddenly the hippest host around, Cane, gave a VH update and quoted directly from this kickass site. Yep, and in true rock n' roll fashion we managed to get misquoted.  Click here to download the video   (You must be a member of our forums to view. Join Here [free]) News For 5/18/00   DLR Band Disbanded Luzier talks about DLR Band, The Nixons and much, much more...     Like a A-bomb landing right on top of your little head, drummer Ray Luzier provided the crash, bang and boom for David Lee Roth's "DLR Band" release and subsequent tour.       Unless you've ever had the chance to meet Ray after the show, you'd never know what a nice guy he really is. There were many nights at Club Dave last summer that Ray personally took the time to meet fans and make visitors feel welcome while DLR was nowhere to be found.            What follows is a partial conversation between Ray and DLR Army field correspondent Dave Valdez. Includes a 3 min Video of the interview. Click Here For The Interview Official DLR Army Update The final word on the Luzier saga! Click here to view our final thoughts on the Ray Luzier Interview. See above for the interview News For 5/18/00 Slawterhouse    Were you one of the people waiting for the "big news" on Monday? Brazen as a baboon's ass, The Keepers relaunched the Official Diamond Dave website version 4.0, powered by the mighty Slawterhouse.             Serving it up like nobody else since 1996, the look is more technicolor than ever.   "3 gigs of in your face fun," announced The Keepers on Monday.     Highlights include... • WAZZUP! A news feature that will get you hip to wazzup with Diamond Dave. • For you visual-type folks, later this week tune in to see some of the best video this side of "Gone With The Wind" meets "The Devil in Miss Jones. • EVERYBODY WANTS SOME! allows you to buy and sell Diamond Dave memorabilia 24/7. • Feelin' social? Visit the House Lounge or hang out in The BackYard. Talk with fellow mofos and trade the latest VH and Dave rumors. • Most impressive of all, DAVE-O-MATIC, will next month plays host to the WORLD's raunchiest pageant... The MISS SLAWTERHOUSE! contest. • Slawterhouse Magazine is back!  This one will have to be delivered in a brown paper wrapper. Stay tuned for a sneak peek.            You will need Quicktime 4.0+, Adobe Acrobat Reader, Flash 4, RealPlayer and a browser 3.0 or better to fully enjoy The Keepers new bag of tricks.            Nice to have you back Mofos! We missed you! Link http://www.slawterhouse.com News For 5/14/00 C.C. Deville Gives His Take On DLR/VH Video/Text   DLR Army Field Operative Dave Valdez managed to pin down Poison Guitarist C.C. Deville after a Samatha 7 show on May 7th to ask him his thoughts on Diamond David Lee Roth. C.C., who is currently on tour to support his upcoming Samatha 7 release, managed to spread some insight into the rumored Classic Van Halen reunion. Download The Video In Real Audio Format /1.26 mb/50 seconds. DLR ARMY: What do you remember the most about touring with Poison and being the opening act for David Lee Roth during the Skyscraper Tour? C.C. Deville: "Dave took us on the road because he was the only one who wasn’t afraid to have us open for him. We were really wild and when we went on tour, Dave had his surfboard and he kicked our ass!" DLR ARMY: I was there in Odessa, Texas and I saw it. C.C. Deville: "Here I am thinking I’m bad and all of a sudden Dave goes, 'Here, check this out', and he comes out of the back of the stage riding his surfboard. I said, 'Oh my God!' And you know what that proves? You gotta get up pretty earlier in the morning to get one over on Diamond Dave." DLR ARMY: Thanks a lot, man! C.C. Deville: "You know what? He’s doing Van Halen again, you know." DLR ARMY: Yea, I hope so. C.C. Deville: "It should be great." DLR ARMY: Do you know for sure? C.C. Deville: "Yea, for sure!" DLR ARMY: Great man, we are all waiting for it. C.C. Deville: "I love you…Samantha 7 album May 30th and Poison album June 13th." DLR ARMY: Thanks, man C.C. Deville: "I love you guys!" Special thanks goes to DLR Army Field Operative Dave Valdez for busting his ass to secure this interview. Click Here To Download Video In Real Audio Format /1.26 mb/50 seconds. News For 5/11/00 Unchained? NOT! Luzier retracts Van Halen comments We've never seen ex-DLR Band drummer Ray Luzier miss a beat, but it looks like there's a first time for everything.     Per his and his management's request (as well as others - you can probably guess who), the aforementioned video and audio regarding his statements on the future of Van Halen - that we promised you fans - will not be included in the interview with Luzier we will eventually post.    We will post Luzier's comments regarding his hiring by The Nixons and his tenure with DLR. Not what you want, but interesting stuff nonetheless.     Be pissed off, call us fucking names, we're big boys. But realize that we're as disapointed as all of you are and NOBODY is saying the shit is untrue. No one wants to go on the record as being the one that spills the beans.     Apparently the long arm of Van Halen and their management extends farther than any of us know.     So the worst kept secret in rock n' roll continues on. What are you supposed to make of all this shit?     1) Important people read the DLR Army site and don't always like what they see. Some even have the power to make our interview subjects go back on what they say. Figure that one out...     2) Ray is no longer the drummer of the DLR Band, and the DLR Band hasn't hired another drummer. If you don't have a drummer, how do you have a band?    3) Nobody is denying that what we posted was untrue. They just don't want us to put it up.    Put it together for yourself folks... News For 5/11/00 SCREAMIN" STEVIE VAI on Van Halen, Roth By Dave Clark DLR Army Communications Officer      Equal parts ethereal musician and sonic magician, the Grammy award winning Steve Vai is regarded by fans of the guitar as one of the foremost players in the world.     From the depths of his sonic laboratory Vai uses music as his tool to explore the human spirit. Anyone who appreciates the talents of a true six-string desperado knows that this guy kicks serious ass.     While on the road to promote his latest effort, the Grammy nominated "The Ultra Zone," Screamin' Steve checked in briefly with the DLR Army to discuss the Dave Years, Van Halen and the possibility of a future Vai-Roth collaboration.      Look for more from Steve at the DLR Army in the near future. Until then, buy "The Ultra Zone" and catch him on tour in your town, mofo! DLR ARMY: Describe that first tour with Dave. Going out with the Eat Em and Smile Band must have been a blast for you as a musician and a 20-something guy ready to see the world. What are your most fond touring memories from that period? VAI: "It was a special time with amazing people. Remember, I was 24- or 25-years-old when I joined up with Dave. I was basically famous overnight because of his legacy."     "Things were very different back then. We used to put on a show that involved tons of lights, cool heavy music... we could wear whatever wanted. And we could play the hell out of our instruments."     "Dave knew how to throw a party. Every night after the show the party usually held interesting surprises..." DLR ARMY: What was your first impression of Dave? Has it changed at all over the years? VAI: "The first time I saw Dave was when Van Halen played the L.A. Forum in 1984. I could not take my eyes off of him, I was totally mesmerized. He was the quintessential front man with a complete command over the audience.     "When we toured together I saw the same thing every night we performed. He was always 'on' and that was inspiring." DLR ARMY: Do you guys still talk? VAI: "I haven't talked to Dave recently, but we have always been on good terms as far as I could tell." DLR ARMY:  Do you ever expect to work with Dave again? Would you if he asked? VAI: "It's a small world and you can never tell what will happen. I keep all my options open. If it seems like it could work at a particular time then maybe we can. It's a matter of logistics." DLR ARMY: Your thoughts on the Van Halen reunion rumors. Everybody has heard them and seems to have an opinion. Would you like to see the fellas work together again? Good idea or bad idea? VAI: "I have always been a big fan of the original band. I hope they do it and that it works."     There you have it... for now! Be sure to check out what  Steve is up to at www.vai.com (an incredible web site).     Steve has also started his own record label, Favored Nations, and demos are now being accepted. For more information and submission guidelines visit the Favored Nations website at www.favorednations.com.     Gregg Bissonette's second solo release "Submarine" was just released through the label. It features Matt Bissonette ( Gregg's brother and former DLR touring player) Gary Hoey, Joe Satriani and others as well as Vai on the track "Noah's Ark".     Also check out the Make A Noise Foundation, a nonprofit charitable organization founded by Vai and Richard Pike. The foundation provides musical instruments and instruction to young musicians who can't afford them.   Members of the organization disburse funds, instruments and accessories, donations of music lessons or tickets to events, recorded music such as compact discs and cassettes, instructional recordings, sheet music and other music related education materials  to schools and young musicians who will most greatly benefit from them.     If you'd like to make a donation (tax-deductible if you live in the USA!) and boost your karma at the same time, please click here for info on how you can make a donation to the Make A Noise Foundation.     You can also join the group's mailing list by emailing MakeANoise@aol.com and asking to be added. Visit www.makeanoise.com for more information. News For 5/09/00 Scoop Motherfuckin' Central LUZIER TO DLR ARMY - "The DLR Band has disbanded."     When the DLR Army goes on the hunt we WILL NOT be denied, but then... that's why you dig us so fuckin' much, isn't it? We've been trying to get ahold of members of the DLR Band for months. Well, we finally got one.     Trouble is, there isn't a DLR Band anymore, Slappy.     It is with wild and giddy anticipation that we bring you the first UNDISPUTIBLE proof that David Lee Roth is once again working with his cohorts in Van Halen.     That's right, we said PROOF. Motherfucker, did someone say scoop?!     DLR Army Field Operative Dave Valdez brings us a screamin' streamin' audio and video interview with Ex-DLR Band drummer Ray Luzier.     During the tete-a-tete, Ray confirms for the first time anywhere that Dave is back with Van Halen and that the DLR Band is no more. It's all right here in front of your naked eyes and ears. Valdez caught up with Ray during a recent performance with his new band, The Nixons.     Sit back, relax and check this shit out kiddies. You heard it, read it, and saw it here first. MTV ain't got shit on us, baby! America's Band is back. Check the interviews section for the Ray Luzier Interview. News For 5/05/00 New DLR Army Discussion Forums Come join the crowd on our new internally hosted Discussion Forums! P-e-r-s-o-n-a-l-i-z-e-d with the Van Halen and David Lee Roth fan in mind, these forums will provide a ground for discussion on all topics Dave and VH. Please contact us if you are interested in becoming a moderator. Press here to enter the Discussion Forums. Post your views about this article in our Discussion Forums. News For 5/04/00 Win Steve Vai's Tripleneck Heart Guitar   How would you like to own a piece of rock n' roll history? Guitar legend and Ex-David Lee Roth Band member Steve Vai is raffling his one-of-a-kind Ibanez tripleneck heart guitar, and 100% of the money raised will go to the Make A Noise Foundation! The Make A Noise Foundation is a completely nonprofit charity founded by Grammy Award-winning musician Steve Vai to help young underprivileged musicians pursue their goals and to help rescue music and arts programs in schools where budgets are being cut. Yes, this is the same famous guitar that was featured in the SkyScraper and other videos! The winner of the raffle will be contacted by Steve Vai via phone. For more information visit http://www.makeanoise.com, or the newsdesk at vai.com. News For 5/03/00 Dave Sings For Songs Of Love Songs Of Love is a not-for-profit organization dedicated to creating personalized songs for chronically and terminally ill children and young adults. David Lee Roth stepped up to the plate to sing a personalized song for Ashley Abernathy, who is currently battling leukemia. From the Songsforlove.org site .."Legendary rocker David Lee Roth contacted Songs of Love after reading an article in a local New York newspaper. Expressing his desire to "do the right thing", he performed a song for little Ashley with great warmth, humor and love." Download a clip of the song Dave created for Ashley| Visit SongsOfLove.Org   To email the article you just read above to someone else {click here}

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