Blender Slams Hagar Again!!!!

[Matt White]

UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!!!! BLENDER is batting 1000% right now!!!
Oct. 2004 Blender magazine review

SAMMY HAGAR
The Essential RED Collection*
Thirty years of mediocrity from the Cali-rock bozo.

If nothing else, this 20 track
overview of lunk-headed hard rock
proves definitively that Sammy Hagar has mastered the art of party anthems that just aren't fun. The sometime Van Halen singer sums up his three-decade solo career in the 1981 track"There's Only One Way to Rock," because, well, it's clear he only KNOWS one way to rock. The formula's simple: Shriek like a banshee; sing solely about girls, partying and cars (that part's not so bad); and deliver dubiously badass lyrics-"one foot on the brake, and one on the gas, there's too much traffic, I can't pass," from 1984's "I can't drive 55"- with a sledge-hammer's disregard for subtlety.
Hagar even brazenly shills for his own Cabo Wabo tequila on 1999's "Mas Tequila." There's something inherently screwy when your nick-name ("The Red Rocker") and your brand of booze are better known than any song you've created.
Erik Himmelsbach
DOWNLOAD THIS: NONE


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
DAVE OR THE GRAVE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!:fucku2: :fucku2: :fucku2:

[bueno bob]

Those boys at Blender know their shit, eh?

How the hell ya been, Mr. White?

:D

[Figs]

Oy vay! BRUTAL BRUTAL BRUTAL! Yet funny, and I agree!

[Matt White]

Originally posted by bueno bob
Those boys at Blender know their shit, eh?

How the hell ya been, Mr. White?

:D

ROCKIN', BOB!!!

I've had the magazine a few hours now. Just got thru readin' a few articles in between watchin' the DETROIT TIGERS, and noticed the Spammy review. It got 1 star! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
And to think some Cretin was trying to tell me Spammy wrote better lyrics than DAVE on this site yesterday!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!


FUCK YOU Van Hagar!!!!

[Matt White]

Good to see ya here tonight BOB!!!

I love how, at the end where they recommend tracks to download, they say simply NONE!!!!
30+ years in the business and NO DECENT SONGS!!!!!!!!:lol: :bananna:


Like my 'ol pal BOZ would say......."FUCK THAT GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


DAVE OR THE GRAVE BABY!!!!!!

[horty07]

Sammy Hagar has mastered the art of party anthems that just aren't fun. I love that quote. Didn't dave say "Sammy throws a party, but I am the party". Dave only speaks the truth, kudos to Blender for a honest review.

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by Matt White
Good to see ya here tonight BOB!!!

I love how, at the end where they recommend tracks to download, they say simply NONE!!!!
30+ years in the business and NO DECENT SONGS!!!!!!!!:lol: :bananna:


Like my 'ol pal BOZ would say......."FUCK THAT GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


DAVE OR THE GRAVE BABY!!!!!!

:D

I missed out on the last few days, I've been moving...just got the comp up last night....

"I HEARD YA MISSED ME, I'M BACK!! ...I BROUGHT MY U-HAUL!! NOW GIMME SOMETHING TO TYPE ON, BITCH!"

:D

[fe_lung]

I love how, at the end where they recommend tracks to download, they say simply NONE!!!!


I believe that the last album to get that distinction was Duran Duran's ARENA.....

Great company to be in!!

[Matt White]

Originally posted by fe_lung
I love how, at the end where they recommend tracks to download, they say simply NONE!!!!


I believe that the last album to get that distinction was Duran Duran's ARENA.....

Great company to be in!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!
HOLY SHIT!!! DURAN DURAN!!!!:lol:
Now that's FUCKING COMEDY!!!
5 star vote to you fe-lung, for placing Spammy alongside
DURAN DURAN....BOTH LOVED BY 40 YEAR OLD CHICKS!!!!!!!!



DAVE OR THE GRAVE BABY!!!!

[classicdude]

Originally posted by horty07
Sammy Hagar has mastered the art of party anthems that just aren't fun. I love that quote. Didn't dave say "Sammy throws a party, but I am the party". Dave only speaks the truth, kudos to Blender for a honest review.

Exactly right!!! I was thinking about that the other day, how the original Van Halen was such a fun band, and Van Hagar seems to be the complete opposite, the anti-fun. I mean, with Dave in the band, you had the sword/bo/martial arts kata, the jumping from the drum riser, playing to the audience; in the videos you had the band sailing around the arena on wires, cruising in cars, dressing up in outrageous outfits; in the music you had the songs with the famous Ted Templeman line, the Happy Trails, I mean the list goes on and on...
Somebody tell me what is comparable to that with Van Hagar?? Please!! Okay, granted, everybody is older now, Edward has gone through battling cancer, divorcing Valerie and Alex has been divorced too. But still, even immediately after Dave was gone from the band in '85 and they picked up Hagar, there still wasn't that atmosphere of fun to the band any more. :(

[ELVIS]

He had one good song - There's Only One Way to Rock...

I kinda like Marching to Mars also...

[DLRdelight!]

hahahahhahahah!!!!!!!
Take that Sheep!!!!

[Rikk]

Originally posted by ELVIS
He had one good song - There's Only One Way to Rock...

I kinda like Marching to Mars also...

Death to ELVIS!!!

DEATH!!!!!!!!!:mad: :D

Okay, I like the first Montrose album. That's it for me, though.

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by Rikk
Okay, I like the first Montrose album. That's it for me, though.

Agreed.

But only for Ronnie Montrose on my end.

[Bill Lumbergh]

As I've said before, I can't even stand him in Montrose.

[EbDawson]

This is like what, his 25th greatest hits release?? WTF?

[Bill Lumbergh]

Originally posted by EbDawson
This is like what, his 25th greatest hits release?? WTF?

Essential shit dude, essential shit. I bought one for every one of my buddies, co-workers...........This shit is poetry for christ sake! "Head bangers in leather..........call it heavy metal NOIIZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEE" Bow before Roy's lyrical genius!

[Panamark]

Originally posted by ELVIS
He had one good song - There's Only One Way to Rock...

I kinda like Marching to Mars also...

ELVIS, I am so ashamed. Im going to pretend I never
read this !! :p

[RogueHorseman]

...There's something inherently screwy when your nick-name ("The Red Rocker") and your brand of booze are better known than any song you've created.

Ain't THAT the truth, as we say down south.

[rustoffa]

Originally posted by Matt White
There's something inherently screwy when your nick-name ("The Red Rocker") and your brand of booze are better known than any song you've created.


Alot of people mistake him for the "spill the wine" singer because of the booze reference and him being an overfed, long-haired, leaping gnome.
:monekyl:

[Matt White]

I like how the guy calls Spam out for being a one trick pony, who has NEVER written ANYTHING of value. In 30+ years. BWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!
What a fucking WASTE!!!!!
15 GREATEST HITS recordings.....NOT ONE GOOD SONG ON ANY OF THEM!!!!HAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!


FUCK YOU Van Hagar!!!!!!!

[pete]

Ya know, It's really true.

Anyone who appreciates Hagar in any form is an idiot.

I don't mean that as an insult.

It's a fact.

[degüello]

Fuck, that is a great review. Thanks for sharing.

[degüello]

Originally posted by ELVIS
He had one good song - There's Only One Way to Rock...

I kinda like Marching to Mars also...

Jesus fucking Christ... you have to be fucking kidding me.

[gary191265]

I like the first Montrose album and 'Loud and Clear'...don't own a Van Halen album with him on it though.

[Matt White]

"The sometime Van Halen singer sums up his three-decade solo career in the 1981 track"There's Only One Way to Rock," because, well, it's clear he only KNOWS one way to rock."
"If nothing else, this 20 track
overview of lunk-headed hard rock
proves definitively that Sammy Hagar has mastered the art of party anthems that just aren't fun.


GOOD WORK SPAM!!! Now 3 generations of ROCK fans know that YOU SUCK!!!!!!


DAVE OR THE GRAVE BABY!!!
:donkey:

[bueno bob]

I don't really like calling Sam's stuff "Hard Rock", though....

It's more...along the lines of "Limp Rock"...

[ThrillsNSpills]

Thirty years of mediocrity from the Cali-rock bozo.



Damn, that's magic right there.

:D

[Terry]

Trying to take the high ground, guess the best thing I can say for Hagar is that his solo career never did anything for me, Montrose never did anything for me, he was a bad fit for Van Halen, and Van Hagar never did anything for me. Nothing but an apathetic response to anything he's done that I've heard.

Hagar should be thankful that Roth left Halen, 'cause if Hagar hadn't joined, doubt anyone would be talking about him today.

"What's the most interesting thing about Sammy Hagar?
David Lee Roth."

DLR-1994

[DavidLeeNatra]

Originally posted by gary191265
I like the first Montrose album and 'Loud and Clear'...don't own a Van Halen album with him on it though.

there is no van halen album with him on...except for the waysted space on the BO-albums...

[Warham]

...

[guwapo_rocker]

http://www.ahajokes.com/cartoon/monkey.jpg


http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=16122&item=2270666372&rd=1

[Matt White]

Good to see 'ya Guwapo_rocker!!!!

I think it's hysterical that the younger generation of ROCK critics find Spammys work so REPULSIVE!!!! After having to endure ALL THOSE YEARS of hearing "Van Hagar" is more critically ACCLAIMED than CLASSIC VAN HALEN. RIGHT. Just because the journalist of the 80-90's were still SEETHING from DAVE's infamous "ELVIS COSTELLO" crack, the band NEVER got the respect and acclaim they so richly deserved!!!!



DAVE OR THE GRAVE BABY!!!

[blueturk]

Blender is the closest thing to the late great Creem you can get.You can catch a buzz and laugh like hell at the captions,then read the articles!I almost hated to see Greed break up because of all the fun I was having when they were giving Scott Stapp hell.Not too long ago they described REO Speedwagon as "poodle-rock".That's just too fucking perfect!

[Matt White]

I still find it HYSTERICAL that it's implied that he has NEVER created anything of artistic worth in a DECADES long career.
This guy is the explanation why the SHEEP bay that "The words don't matter, it's all about the music". NO SHIT!!! For Van Hagar, the words are completely DISPOSABLE!!!!


FUCK YOU Van Hagar!!!:fucku2: :fucku2: :fucku2: :fucku2: :fucku2:

[Halen High]

The eternal question remains. How the hell did this guy end up in Van Halen? It's as if Eddie and Alex chose Sammy based soley on the fact that he had the vocal power to pull-off power ballads, and they could get along with him. It seems no thought was given to his artistic abilities as a songwriter and lyricist.

Sammy's solo stuff is bland and uninspiring. There's just nothing interesting or edgy about it.

[Kelly]

Great article, thanks.

Didn't Roth once say "The worst thing in entertainment is to be boring?" Well, Van Hagar, with one or two exceptions, are just that. They sort of fall into that Nickleback/Creed bland formula rock that has the occasional good riff but is generally easily ignored. Such a shame as I have huge respect for Eddie's playing.

Roth Van Halen was sooooooo much fun. Van Hagar was like your drunk old uncle playing the same song over and over.

[Matt White]

Van Hagar, and Spammy Hagar in general, are like the 45 year old guy with the mullet in the mall parking lot. Blasting Cheesey hair -meatl POWER BALLADS and thinking he's a STUD. Outta place, Outta time, and NEVER COOL.
30+ years recording and NOTHING anybody wants to here a second time.

DAVE OR THE GRAVE BABY!!!:donkey:

[RogueHorseman]

Originally posted by Kelly
...Van Hagar was like your drunk old uncle playing the same song over and over.

Now, that is funny...

[mentalpancake]

Originally posted by bueno bob
I don't really like calling Sam's stuff "Hard Rock", though....

It's more...along the lines of "Limp Rock"...
Definitely. I tried to listen to one of his many greatest hits albums once (don't worry, it wasn't mine) and I almost shot myself.
:donkey:

[katie]

30 years in the business.
If it wasn't for VH he would of only had 15 tops!

[CROWBAR]

Gotta love Blender! Ha Ha

[Hardrock69]

Well, I will say this....in the late 70's (Spammy's heyday), you did not have to be that heavy to be considered "Hard Rock". Back then, Spammy was fairly good live as a performer, but what ruined it were his suckass songs and lame song titles.

I saw him 2wice on the same tour...he was opening for Boston on their Don't Look Back Tour. I saw him in Seattle on September 15th, 1978 and then 6 months later in Wichita, Kansas in march of 1979.

I was young and stupid and easily impressed....but he still did not kick my ass on a musical level. I just felt at the time that he was a decent opening act.

Funny...27 years later and I still think that...
LOL!!!

:D

[DaveTheSoulOfVH]

"Anyone who appreciates Hagar in any form is an idiot.

I don't mean that as an insult.

It's a fact." (pete)

HAHaHAhahah...so true man, so true

[Matt White]

"There's something inherently screwy when your nick-name ("The Red Rocker") and your brand of booze are better known than any song you've created."

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!