A Question For Hardcore Van Halen Fans

[Kristy]

Okay, so it has been well established that Eddie had mouth cancer due to his chain smoking of Marlboros like a prison bitch about to take a shower but my question is thus: did he really get part of his tongue cut out?

[Matt White]

Re: A Question For Hardcore Van Halen Fans

Originally posted by Kristy
did he really get part of his tongue cut out?

Kristy, I know the answer to your question. Yes. I have a relative that had the same type of tonge cancer as EVH. The cancerous part of the tonge is removed. Usually, and I'd guess in EVH's case, enough of the tonge is left so that reconstructive surgery can be performed. The remaining tonge is reshaped to resemble their original tonge, allowing them to still speak. My relative suffered some speech impediment for about 2 months. Then, you couldn't tell that anything had ever happened.
And, like EVH has, my relative went BACK to smoking. INSANITY!!!!

DAVE OR THE GRAVE SMOKING MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!
(COUGH COUGH HACK!!!!!)

[Kristy]

Thank you. But basically what you're saying is that I can't make fun of him? Damn. No bother, as I will look for other ways to ridicule that way too talented asshole just because I want to.

[Panamark]

Everyone knows it wasnt smoking that caused Ed's cancer !
It was his metal picks !! Just ask ED !!!

(That is one deluded ex guitar legend)

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by Kristy
Thank you. But basically what you're saying is that I can't make fun of him? Damn. No bother, as I will look for other ways to ridicule that way too talented asshole just because I want to.

There's plenty of field room to choose from

[interceptor]

Originally posted by Panamark
Everyone knows it wasnt smoking that caused Ed's cancer !
It was his metal picks !! Just ask ED !!!

(That is one deluded ex guitar legend)

I've heard of him saying that too!! Crazy.

[guwapo_rocker]

Actually, Ed's tongue was completely removed and replaced with his penis. He had no use for his dick because he has no balls anyway.

[CROWBAR]

Ya know, if he's missing part of his tongue, he won't be as inclined to speak, and not lying as much to himself and the remaining fans.

Now if we could only get Alice under the knife!

[Mezro]

Originally posted by guwapo_rocker
Actually, Ed's tongue was completely removed and replaced with his penis.

LOL...good one guwapo!

Mezro...Ed's new tongue has a urethra...

[Blacklisted]

Some may be speculative as to why cancer truly formed in his mouth.

Personally I think it was from suckin' on Sammy Hagar's dick for too long.

But that is just me personally.

DLR fucking RULES.

[spmusicplyr]

Originally posted by guwapo_rocker
Actually, Ed's tongue was completely removed and replaced with his penis. He had no use for his dick because he has no balls anyway.

he has no use for his dick cause he aint fucking valerie anymore...

wait, did he ever fuck her? I figured he'd be the kinda guy that would let her fuck im with a strap on.

after all...ed is skinny...wolfie is a whale...maybe val got fucked by another dutchman, agustus gloop

[scottydabodi]

I personally think Ed's got Brain Cancer, with all the bullshit decisions that dude's made in the last 19 years.....

[Viking]

I don't know about his tongue, but he cut his own balls off when he gave Dave the bum's rush..............

[DLRdelight!]

How can people be that stupid to go back and still smoke

[spmusicplyr]

DLR smokes...he'd better lay off