Andrew Dice Clay Nursery Rhymes

[Northern Girl]

Does anyone remember any of Dice's nursery rhymes?

Here's one:

Jorgy Porgy puddin' and pie
jerked off in his girlfriend's eye
when her eye was dried and shut
Jorgy fucked that one-eyed slut.


And:

Hickory Dickory dock
some chick was suckin' my cock
the clock struck two, I dropped my goo
and dumped the bitch on the next block

[ThrillsNSpills]

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
He sat down beside her and said

Hey

WHAT'S IN THE BOWL, BITCH.

I still miss Kinison. Dice was funny though

[Northern Girl]

Little Bo Peep fucked her sheep
Blew her horse, licked his feet
She ate his ass so very nice
Tongued his balls, not once but twice



Little Jack Horner sat in a corner
eating a pizza pie
his shit pepperoni, blew his friend Tony
and wiped his mouth on his tie

[thepunisher]

Little Boy Blue..........
He needed the money!

[thepunisher]

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe,
She had so many kids- Her uterus fell out!

[thepunisher]

Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her old dog a bone,
She bent over, Rover took over, She got a bone of her own.

[distortion9]

Mary, Mary quite contrary shave your bush it's so damn hairy...OHHHH!

[distortion9]

Jack and Jill went up the hill
Both with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with two-fifty
That fuckin' whore....OHHH!

[distortion9]

Doe, a deer, a female deer.
Ray, the guy that fucked her ass....OHHHHHH!!!!!

[Mezro]

Fuck a milkshake
Lick a clam
I'm a pound of ground beef
without a sheath
ten times an hour
six pack on a rock
Hey Aunt Emma
suck quickly
that's not my Uncles cock...

Mezro...snaps head to the side...

[CROWBAR]

I still miss Kinison. Dice was funny though [/B][/QUOTE]

What a guy!

[Big Troubles]

Funny at first but Clay grew tiresome quick. Sam Kinison, Jackie "The Jokeman" Martling and Al King are fav's of mine.

[sambo]

Hickory Dickory Dock.
My balls fell out of my jock.
I laid them to rest
On some hooker's chest
And paddled her face with my cock.

Roll, roll, roll your cunt
Gently down my prick.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Then you'll suck my dick.

Hey diddle diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.
That's more than my lazy wife does,
The fat, fuckin' smelly baboon

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
A lightbulb was stuck up her ass.
It woke up the spider
Who lived deep inside her.
He said "Hey, free electric and gas."

Jack and Jill went up the hill
And Jack would try to hump her.
Jill said No / and Jack said So
I'll ram it in your dumper.

Twinkle twinkle little star,
Will she blow me in the car.
I bought her dinner, she had fun.
My balls are boiling, I'd like to come.

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her old dog a snack.
The cupboard was bare,
She didn't despair.
She let Rover munch on her crack

Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater.
Whacked off in the movie theater.
Sprayed his load across the screen
And ruined Titanic's final scene

Jack and Betty, up in a tree
F-U-C-K-I-N-G
First comes Betty, then comes Jack
Then comes the goo from Betty's crack.

Old King Cole was a merry old soul
A merry old soul was he
He chewed off his tit
And ate his own shit
And washed it down with some tea.


Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
So Jack ignored those flabby tits
And licked her asshole clean

Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree top
Your mother's a whore,
And I ain't your pop.

Little Bo Peep fucked her sheep
Blew a horse, licked his feet
She ate his ass so very nice
Tongued his balls not once but twice

Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater
Had a wife, loved to beat her
Smacked her twice across the head
Fucked her ass and went to bed

Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are
Shine upon the parking lot
As I eat my girl friends twat.

Three blind mice, see how they run
Where the fuck are they going?

Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe
Suck my dick and swallow slow.

Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick
Jack burnt off his fuckin' dick.

Patty cake, patty cake,
Baker's man
If your chick's on her period
Fuck her in the can

Mary had a little lamb,
She kept in her backyard.
When she took her panties off
His wooly dick got hard.

Rub a Dub Dub
Three men in a tub.
Faggots have threesomes, too-
So fuckin' what.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I fucked your mother's ass
And she had you.