Sammy's Tequila Pamphlet

[Nickdfresh]

This is an actual brochure from Spammy's website. Very honest I must say:

Sammy Hagar created this bang-up tequila while off-stage in Guadalajara and ultimately brought it back to serve loser sheep at his nightclub, Cabo Wabo, in Cabo San Lucas, Baja, Mexico. It's the genuine article, 100% shit water, baked in wood-fired rusted car radiators and double-pot distilled the old-fashioned way for a rich, soul-warming taste of vomit when you throw it back up as the doctors pump your stomach in the emergency room later that night.
The RedRocker's Reposado tequila has been porcelian bowl-aged in his toilet for 4 to 6 hours. More aging means more flavor and a smoother style, and a funny gritty taste that you'll wonder about. The unique blown Mexican blue glass bottles shaped like phallic members will be hard to throw away, even when they're empty. The paramedics will need them to find out what you've been drinking when they find you passed out on the floor comatose.

Anthony Dias Blue of Bon Appetit magazine named Cabo Wabo one of the "Top Three Tequilas in the World made by bloated, loser rock wanna bees", and The Rolling Stones carried off 12 cases after their Hawaiian tour because Keith Richards will drink any rancid swill, even if it has a flavor and aroma faintly reminiscent of spam and rubbing alcohol. (Do we need more endorsement than that?)
Great Straight, and for stripping paint!:monekyr: :hagar3:



Hee Hee Hee, I pissed in this bottle and some dumb motherfuckin' sheep will still buy it...hee hee hee.

[VanRoth]

Fuck Sammy Fagar!:monekyr:

[scubaa]

NO FUCK YOU!

WHAT THE FUCK HAS DLR DONE

THE CABO WABO IN CABO SAN LUCAS IS THE BEST ...been there and it is awesome , so if you dont know what the FUCK you are talking about dont say it you stupid dumb ass ROTH ARMY SHEEP

[rustoffa]

Originally posted by scubaa
WHAT THE FUCK HAS DLR DONE


Become widely regarded as the greatest frontman in history?

Painstakingly supervised the construction of arguably the most
dynamic "hard rock" sound in history?

Remain the centralized figure regarding what used to be alot of
folks' favorite band in history?

Flame away copernicus.....that question is an exercise in the
asinine.

[scubaa]

Well finally a well written quote, although not all correct well done man

Heading to the DLR show Nove 4 ?

[scubaa]

Nov that is ...

[hot for david]

Originally posted by rustoffa
Become widely regarded as the greatest frontman in history?

Painstakingly supervised the construction of arguably the most
dynamic "hard rock" sound in history?

Remain the centralized figure regarding what used to be alot of
folks' favorite band in history?

Flame away copernicus.....that question is an exercise in the
asinine.


amen he's the best DIAMOND DAVE ....

[hot for david]

Originally posted by scubaa
NO FUCK YOU!

WHAT THE FUCK HAS DLR DONE

THE CABO WABO IN CABO SAN LUCAS IS THE BEST ...been there and it is awesome , so if you dont know what the FUCK you are talking about dont say it you stupid dumb ass ROTH ARMY SHEEP


then what the fuck are you donin' here , really , the only thin' you are doin' here is a fuckin' waste of space , if you really love spammy then go to the fuckin' links , go with the rest of the sheeps n' leave us alone...

[Nickdfresh]

By the way I slightly altered the pamphlet. Spammy's website is pretty funny. I give the guy credit for posting so much material that can easily be made fun of.

Whoa...who jizzed on me?

[CROWBAR]

Piss off scooby doo! DLR is ten times the guy Spambo is! :heyfu:

[Bill Lumbergh]

Originally posted by scubaa
NO FUCK YOU!

WHAT THE FUCK HAS DLR DONE

THE CABO WABO IN CABO SAN LUCAS IS THE BEST ...been there and it is awesome , so if you dont know what the FUCK you are talking about dont say it you stupid dumb ass ROTH ARMY SHEEP

Holy fuck, is this Sammy himself?! What has DLR done??? So he has to create a drink to have accomplished something?! Oh okay......... :rolleyes:

[TongueNGroove]

Cabo is much more than a drink. It is a way of life.

"The white sand sure makes a tan look nice
We can crash on he beach
You know we're gunna, make love in the sea"

Cabo represents walkin down a sandy beach feelin the sand thru your toes as the ocean waves splash up on your feet while you're eyein the hot babes.

If you've never done it, then you have no idea what I'm talkin about.

[BigDaddyD]

Pretty much any beach does that. unless you are a homo. Then you can forget about the hot babes part.

[DaveIsaHasbeen]

Originally posted by CROWBAR
Piss off scooby doo! DLR is ten times the guy Spambo is! :heyfu:

yeah, well DLR isn't on tour with Van Halen is he.

[Nickdfresh]

Originally posted by DaveIsaHasbeen
yeah, well DLR isn't on tour with Van Halen is he.

Pretty soon, neither will Spammy.

[CROWBAR]

Originally posted by DaveIsaHasbeen
yeah, well DLR isn't on tour with Van Halen is he.

and I wouldn't want him to be anywhere near those bums! At least I know that when I see Diamond Dave that I'm going to hear classic Halen sung & played right jack!!

Not drug down the street with a fucking ball and chain like spambo has done this sham of a tour!

Spammy was so lame, he'd deliberately let a fan sing Panama. And furthermore, didn't include any other classic DLR songs like he initally said he would attempt ( and I say attempt loosly here)

[bueno bob]

bump

[Golden AWe]

?????

[scubaa]

If you dont know what Cabo and Sammy has done and acomplished then you need to learn one hell of a lot about music cause Sammy has done way more than Dave ever has and ever will!

[Blacklisted]

The only thing Sammy has done is get masses of faggots together like yourself.

I bet there are no hot babes at Cabo and its just a bunch of Spammy lovin' fags like yourself poundin' each others asses on the beach pumping while When It's Love.

You, Spammy, and Cabo can all go eat a dick bud.

DLR fucking RULES!

[VHII]

sammy is a fat drunk tequilla guzzling asshole that no one wants to hear whine about how you can tell if its love or not

[Nickdfresh]

Did anyone actually read the pamphlet?

[Bill Lumbergh]

Originally posted by Nickdfresh
Did anyone actually read the pamphlet?

Yes right after drinking five bottles of Liquid Plumber...........

[sambo]

Originally posted by TongueNGroove
........Cabo represents walkin down a sandy beach feelin the sand thru your toes as the ocean waves splash up on your feet while you're eyein the hot babes.

If you've never done it, then you have no idea what I'm talkin about.


Originally posted by BigDaddyD
Pretty much any beach does that. unless you are a homo. Then you can forget about the hot babes part.

1. Fuck you WindowLicker... jump in the steam room with Hagar and Mona.

2. BigDaddy... fucking hilarious post... 5 stars...

[Bill Lumbergh]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by TongueNGroove
[B] Cabo is much more than a drink. It is a way of life.


This quote has made you a star around here. It may be the lamest thing ANYONE has ever said on this message board..................

[Seshmeister]

Originally posted by TongueNGroove
Cabo is much more than a drink. It is a way of life.

"The white sand sure makes a tan look nice
We can crash on he beach
You know we're gunna, make love in the sea"

Cabo represents walkin down a sandy beach feelin the sand thru your toes as the ocean waves splash up on your feet while you're eyein the hot babes.

If you've never done it, then you have no idea what I'm talkin about.

'Eyein' is right because you would never get near them.

I met Sammy fans on the Sans Halen tour and a better analogy on white sands would be turtles. Grunting as they slowly drag themselves up the beach on their bellies.

[Bill Lumbergh]

"Ocean waves splashing"? I always knew Sammys fan base was a bunch of whales............

[Nickdfresh]

Just for the record, I did not post the actual pamphlet for Cabo Tequila. I did make more truthful modifications to the advert. So don't think less of me for cut and pasting Spammy propaganda.