Hagar News2

[GAMERA]

I'm a big fat fucking Turtle, who is Sammy's bastard child.

Listen.

He's a fat fucking liar, that Sammy fucking Hagar.

He flushes my ass down the fucking toilet, and look at me...

now flames shoot out of my ass, and I have to save the fucking universe.

Well, there are 2 things I hate.

Slawterhouse (gone or not, it was the fucking travesty of all travesties)

and my bastard father Sammy Hagar.

Here's what I KNOW after the last tour stop.

Sammy's still fat.

Sammy's still a fat fucking liar.

Sammy is fronting a joke of a band.

Slawterhouse still sucks.

Any news by Sammy's nephew is fucking bullshit.

Any news by Eddie is fucking bullshit.

Any news by anything related to VH is bullshit.

Blame the orange on Slawterhouse.

Blame Van Hagar on Eddie.

Blame rigomortis on Alex.

Blame shit on the nose on Michael.

Blame pop on Van Hagar.

Any questions?

Don't ask them to Sammy, he'll tell you it was part of a song that sold 1 million the day before it went on sale.

Have a nice fucking day.

and Hagar fans? Fuck you for being so fucking ignorant.

Merry fucking Christmas

courtesy of your friendly neighborhood Turtle!

[Panamark]

Cowabunga Dude !

One Gamera special Pizza on its way. Merry Christmas !!

[GAMERA]

PanaMark is a name I remember. At least someone is here still fighting the good fight.

This just in from Sammy's fucking belly button lint:

"It's damn dark in here.

It smells like cum in here.

Why does that finger keep pokin' in here every night. Oh shit, that's not a finger."

This just in from Sammy's nephew:

"Oh shit, that's a belly button unca'"

Take it to the bank.

Merry fucking Christmas

and may Van Hagar rot in the pit of nephew spooge known as Hagar's fucking belly button.

fa la la la la la la la la

[DavidLeeNatra]

hey turtle...good to see you here...stay away from sheep with a bucket...and turtle soup on their menue...

[Mezro]

Now this thread was actually interesting!

Mezro...preach on you giant fucking turtle...

[GAMERA]

MASTER MEZRO---The mightiest of the moderators so I've been told in a message from ground zero, the land of the hairy ass women, the desert of the damned. Good to hear from the riteous few fighting the good fight at this site.

Might I pass on some more news from Hagar's wife's cooch.

"Hey, that's not the crusty old fat ass dick I'm used to!

It's bigger, better, badder, and hits the right spots!

it can only be the one, the only Davesizer!"

She's praying for a reunion with both lead singers to enjoy that a few more times.

We're praying that Dave doesn't catch the liarsodomizer disease that has inflicted that fat fucker that had to have a say in the most recent version of Slawterhouse that related to the diamond one.

News from 200 female folk in New York City:

"That fucker didn't help me one fucking lick when I called 911, but goddamned he sure fucking licked me, and it felt gooooood...."

What better way for Roth to pass on his ammunition.

and News from anyone who gives a rat's shit about Van Halen:

They fucking blow ass, and should be buried right next to Jimi Hendrix' last dump.

More news later...

Merry fucking Christmas,

and may any venereal disease you get only rot the parts you don't need.

Preach to the Turtle, and help my brethren stay the fuck out of little yellow buckets.